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#(who was attracted to me at one point but maybe isn't anymore?? idk) encouraged me to end things with her
transxfiles · 6 months
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the dyke drama is dramaing. i am on the floor.
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hirsuteandcute · 7 years
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I read your answer to the attractive anon, and I wonder what would you (or anyone really) say for the opposite. How about the ones who never hear that, never get noticed? I know the beauty limits of society is f'ed up but it's true that we face it daily and live with it. I know you can still be soo sad but isn't attractiveness (or beauty whatever) a privilege?
Ohhhh my gosh ok I have so many feelings about this so strap in. 
I feel like there’s definitely a ‘beauty privilege’, in fact studies show that attractive people get treated better, are more likely to get discounts or have people lend them money, are more likely to get hired for jobs even if ‘uglier’ people are more qualified, are considered more trustworthy, are more likely to have people offer to help them, even amongst kids more ‘attractive’ students are more likely to get help from the teacher. It IS fucked up especially since what we’ve been conditioned to find ‘attractive’ is a very narrow, very eurocentric and very artificial kind of beauty. 
Tbh I find the standard for attractive women to be kind of boring, it’s not original. I mean there’s nothing wrong with fitting into that standard but when I thought about it I was like ‘wow what a sad way to live, what a narrowed minded way to live, with someone else’s (especially if that someone is a corporation or business) idea of beauty in head’ It’s like..why do we think that way? Why do people think light coloured eyes are more beautiful than dark coloured eyes? They’re not. Why do we think small noses are more beautiful than large or crooked or hooked noses? They’re not. Why do we think stretch marks or acne scars or visible pores are less attractive than clear skin? They’re not. Why do we think body hair is gross? It’s not. The best advice I can give to any woman who wants to adjust her perspective on beauty (men should ask themselves these questions too actually!) is, why do I find this narrow standard attractive? What is my mental process? If I had never seen a billboard or a movie or commercial on tv etc would I really think this feature is attractive/unattractive? Does this feature actually have any impact on my wellbeing or my health? Am I even harming myself to change this feature to something considered to be more pleasing? Let me give you an example, when I was in high schools all my friends got into wearing fake nails. There’s nothing wrong with fake nails or painting your nails or whatever obviously but the way they did it (or at least back then) is that they’d file your actual nail, put a special kind of glue on it and then you could wear the nails for like up to a month. The thing is that idk if these girls weren’t taking care of their nails or what but when the falsies came off their natural nails were seriously messed up. And it became like an addiction, get fake nails, real nails get ruined, get more fake nails to cover the ruined real nail etc. That’s the way I feel like things are now, we’re just encouraged to put fake stuff on instead of taking care of what we already have underneath. Everything is a marketing ploy, EVERYTHING. In the 1920s a lot of men had been lost in WW1 so what happened? Gillette started marketing razors to women to make up for lost customers. Suddenly body hair is out. Something had been normal for centuries just gone because some company said so. In Ancient Greece and Persia unibrows were beautiful or in modern times Audrey Hepburn becomes popular, the slim, boyish look is in, Marilyn Monroe becomes popular, now the over exaggerated hourglass is in, Twiggy becomes popular, we’re back to the slim, boyish look etc. Now women have more standards than ever now that we have to compete with people like Kylie J*nner who can completely reinvent her face with her parents money and makeup. What the world considers ‘beautiful’ really means nothing anymore, it’s an empty word and yet it also means everything. Pre-teen girls are developing eating disorders, teenage girls are committing suicide because they think no one will ever love them, women are growing up feeling unloved and empty and falling into abusive relationships because they’d figure that it’s better to be in a bad relationship than no relationship.
I’m going on here but my point is this, you can’t please everyone but trying to chase after the beauty standard of the moment is like chasing clouds. People’s approval when it comes to beauty can be shallow, people who only look for conventional beauty tend to be kind of stupid if I’m honest, they only see what’s obvious to them and what they’ve been told is right without questioning it. It’s not necessarily the type of approval that is best for you even tho ofc it’s nice when people find us attractive. I think the most important thing is to focus on looking after yourself, exercise, eat good food, be with nature when you can, invest time in people who you love and who love you in return, spend time doing the things that enrich and interest you, ask for help when you need it and know that that is good enough. Even though there is more expectation now there is also more of an acceptance movement so stay in the confidence that not everyone will be stuck seeing beauty in only one way. A rose maybe a conventionally beautiful flower but an orchid is equally as beautiful for those who are willing to see it. xx
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