#- because he is an AI and what purpose does such a pointless activity serve...unless he is sentient after all -

[patrice-bergerons]

I have come across many brilliantly crafted metaphors in podcasts I listen to but few compare to this one from Midnight Burger, I think-

In year four of our mission, we had come upon a binary star system. I looked upon these two stars rotating around their barycenter and my thoughts turned to my wife. We were like these two stars, locked into an eternal dance only due to chance and gravity, unable to recall a moment where we chose each other and unable to escape this rotation. Knowing that to move closer would obliterate us both.

#midnight burger #and the fact that this is being recited by a robot who is the sole survivor of a shipwreck #himself dying #and playing out the last wishes of his crew with the diner gang for a reason he cannot understand #- because he is an AI and what purpose does such a pointless activity serve...unless he is sentient after all - #makes it that much more devastating #i think about this ep so often #four souls

[mispyre-m-blog]

° ✦ ❛ headcanon : post - series ╼ / please do not reblog , thank you

not the first time i’ve talked about this , but reading back on the hc i typed up four months ago , i realized i wanted to reword some things  /  adjust some minor stuff and add a bit of info so here we go kiddos , this is going to be a little long feel free to skim or ask me for a tl;dr. 

01.  how he interacts with the other SDR2 kids : generally , komaeda avoids them when possible , the exceptions being hinata , souda ,  &  tsumiki  (  and note that the latter are generally for health reasons , not for the hell of it  )  for a multitude of reasons , the main ones being :

✦ to some degree , he does feel guilty over what transpired during the game.  he wouldn’t redo it if given a chance as that would feel like a cop out , but he does recognize that he took a shitty situation and made it a hell of a lot shittier , for an ultimately pointless purpose as none of it was real.  

✦ he feels a strong disconnect with them and some anger toward the situation as a whole.  seeing them reminds him they’re alive , reminds him of the things they’ve all done and the sins they can’t possibly wash out , reminds him that talent really is sort of . . .  a mess.  here it is , revered , the backbone of their society , and here it is , a bunch of young adults with blood on their hands.  he resents them , he resents himself , he resents society and all in all it’s not a good time.

because of this , he can come off cold to them , or condescending.  not by default necessarily , he is perfectly capable of not going for their damn throats every time they have a conversation , but he also doesn’t really hide his discontent.  his smiles are more tight lipped , more empty , his manners somewhat insincere . . .  he’s more distant  &  doesn’t revere them as he once did.

02. general world interactions he’s tired and it shows.  he preaches about hope less and speaks more negatively of talent more frequently  (  not often necessarily , but not never which was essentially what it was before  )  and tends to space off  /  dissociate a lot and spends a lot of time to himself.  the short of it is he doesn’t want to be alive and while he is unlikely to ever flat out say that , it’s something he thinks of fairly often.

it’s important to note that komaeda’s ‘ suicide ’ inside the simulation was genuinely supposed to be his end and he is genuinely upset that it wasn’t.  in part , because this very tired boy wants things to be over  (  &  he is not suicidal post - series , mind you , or at least not actively  ;  passively is another story.  but he wouldn’t do that intentionally unless he knew it would serve some larger purpose  )  and in part because komaeda has never had control over his life , not really , his luck has always come swooping in and taken things away from him and because he has no recognized talent , there is a wall he cannot pass in his life , no matter how good at something he may be.  by being alive again , both his desire to die  (  with greater purpose  )  and his desire to have his own fate in his hands for once were satisfied  ---  and then ripped apart when his eyes opened.  that , alongside the knowledge of just . . .  everything else that has happened , has made him bitter and unhappy , so it isn’t as though his less hopeful , less kind  /  interactive attitude came out of left field. 

on top of this komaeda still sees enoshima.  she’s not an AI and she’s not alive , but he hallucinates her at times and while he is perfectly aware she isn’t real  &  has no desire to act on the things she may say , it’s not exactly a fun time for him and only adds to his fatigue.  he hates her vehemently by this point but for a while he was really obsessed with her and worked closely with her as her right / left hand  (  whichever term you prefer it makes little to no difference to me  )  and as such , she’s really woven into his skin , into his head.  she’s in his nightmares , she’s there when he’s awake , he hears her in solitude and in crowds . . .  she’s around , and she will be until he dies. 

#` . ✦ * ⋅ ᵒᵒᶜ ┊ headcanon. #long post - #death idealization - #suicide mention - #ask to tag - #it's 2 in the morning but take this #i want to retype my HC on his and junko's relationship as well but #i'll do that later maybe tomorrow maybe like... in a while... #anyway ko is still capable of experiencing joy and shit but it's just like... a lot harder #he's really upset lmao... #this is pretty canon divergent given how dr3 like #gave him friends and shti #and while i thought that was sweet #i also don't find it plausible? so here we are