#3. thank you misha for being unable to not answer a question

[a-s-levynn]

1,2 & 20 for the asks?❤️‍🩹

I'm putting in a cut because it got long and rambly again because i'm appearently unable to skip my tangets and it's fucking sappy as shit because i'm emotional these days.

under the cut: song of the year, album of the year, what i learned this year

1, Song of the year? As much as i want to pick something from TMBTE i have to go with Wake the Dead by blessthefall. I listened the crap out of it since it's release and it very well deserves a shoutout.

2, Album of the year? TMBTE. No question there. Not just because it is and incredible album but it means so much more.

Without it so many things would not have happend to me this year. I like ST before but if there is not TMBTE there is no tour and if there was no tour i wouldn't have seen them live and gone off the deep end. If i wouldn't have seen them live i would not have met a bunch of very nice people who were spending their days in que as well. If i've not met them i probably never would have even touched the fandom.

But there was a new album, there was a tour, i did met amazing people and i dipped my toes into fandom spaces. And what that, or more accurately you guys gave me is what probably makes this album even more special in my eyes. Because even online i usually feel so out of place and if i do more than 2 post a day i'm convinced i'm the most annyoing mf to ever exist.

I don't want to sound too sappy and make it sound dramatic and shit but like.. the year i've had before this and the beginning of this one sent me on the gorund so hard.. So the small things that came with being in ST spaces just kept me going and got me up higher and higher and the crowning on that is this tumblr circle. And now i'm actually don't have waking up in the mornings.

Small things do matter so incredibly much for someone like me, who is emotionally an equivalent of a lone sad cat trying to find shelted in a rainstorm in a sopping wet cardboard box.

So my answer is TMBTE.

3, What’s something you learned this year? What have i learned? Oh boy.. i learned a lot about myself actually. I won't go into detail because that would be long and an entirely different conversation but there was a lot of self reflection and new perspectives and methods and stuff to manage the jumble that is my mind.

I also on a pretty good track on learning both reading and writing the ST runes thanks to the ever lovely Misha @thejawsoffate. Arguably i'm far better at reading it already than writing but i'll get there one day.

I also learned that you can't really forget drawing. You need some time to warm it back up but once you did a couple of fumbling attempts the knowledge starts to take shape again. I just looked at the phone i'm using for taking pics of my drawings and it has a separate folder for just art and if i also count the tiny token pieces individually besides the small offerings, i did over a 100 pieces since the end of november which is insane to think about, especially in relation to the fact that it's safe to say that in year i have not drawn more then six pieces.

So yeah. There was stuff? Sorry for making it this long again. 🤦🏻

#levynn answers #takemetoasgard #ask game #asking game

[spnreactionblogging]

LAST HOLIDAY

spoilers below - backdated from 10/9/020

oh hey abaddon, is alaina huffman in this? that would be nice all these beheadings, damn I couldn't watch this live when it aired because I don't have cable but I bought season 15 on amazon this time last fucking year so technically any time after 2AM I could've watched it, not actually sure I'll make it through everything tonight because I started at 10pm and I am Tired the livestream misha did was fun for the first 30 minutes but then I had to turn it off to avoid spoilers so I guess I will revisit that later I like sam's flannel in this one too. like gold, light grey, dark grey? A+. this is queer flannel. this is from EXPRESS, not Kohl's the bunker has a gas stove I guess which I should've known having all the appliances fail suddenly is very relatable to me and perhaps one of the worst monsters of all don't mock luigi, he knows how to deal with ghosts sam has the plans and dean just smashes buttons god that burger does look great "meat man" who wrote this one ah the dean deluxe the scooby doo boxers are pretty cute honestly who is jeremy adams 1958, yeesh "everybody?" "everybody's dead" standby mode huh, were they supposed to have like... lights this plot is very narnia, wake up to find out everyone you loved is dead they have extra abilities in the lead-up to the final boss, and the network is willing to spend more on the electricity to give them more lighting sam is right to doubt anything ever being good is anyone going to tell jack they're leaving him alone with some random person and lmao thank you sam as I was typing this he pointed that out jack's shirt/sweater looks very cozy snickerdoodles are great magic roomba... thanks for calling him the son of satan, lucifer doesn't even want to be called satan "ignoring your trauma doesn't make you healthy" THANK YOU SAM time + space, indeed uh just throwing this out there he could use some emotional support too probably please accept this sandwich as an offer of solidarity god it's nice to see alex be allowed to emote again leave these guys alone, they're drinking blood packs with curly straws aw, come on :( those guys didn't deserve that I guess if she's a wood nymph she can summon a christmas tree? where's the secret christmas decoration storage room in the bunker yeah tell sam to smile :\ I hate holidays except halloween god I love how jack waves I do love how much jensen loves wearing goofy outfits, this made me smile big time. I'm glad they clearly had so much fun on the set with this stuff especially knowing what comes next IRL :( she's right to be worried about his cholesterol just waiting for the other shoe to drop with something terrible befalling this group watching dean run in that outfit is hilarious poor jack doesn't deserve all this but I'm glad that she's helping him kind of work through the grief where the fuck is cas so it seems like ultra fucked up to be watching them do no-knock shit into people's homes and shooting them no questions asked, and it has always seemed fucked up but right now the methodical nature of this and their goofy smiles taking packed lunches while setting out to murder people minding their own business is not cool with me and never has been the 50s were bad, actually god sam has the hammer of thor. thank fuck. is it may? is it sam's birthday in-universe? what files was she going through, eyes emoji jack is smart, actually oh boy is she brainwashed, are they keeping her held hostage with magic or something, because the men of letters don't give a FUCK about monsters and will use them jack's a millennial and can look up instructions for how to operate a reel to reel and 100% knows what it is because he lives in the bunker "son of a bitch" jack's spending too much time with dean sam has a big date huh, I hope it's with eileen "abercrombie and bitch" IT IS EILEEN!!! dean should definitely be nicer to sam poor jack has no one to turn to for help :( where is cas!!!! can they not afford to pay misha also I don't feel sorry for nazis there are a lot of beheadings on this show, pulling someone's head off definitely seems like yanking on a plant vs pruning it with sharp pruning shears or whatever oh you're shitty lady "do you ever think they're scared of what you'll do to someone else" uh yeah there was that time they locked him in a coffin please stop hurting this child if she's so sure sam and dean would approve then she'd do it when sam and dean can see her yeah I am not surprised she was poisoning him MAKE THE BUNKER SAFE AGAIN!!!!! maga shit, get rid of all the monsters, says a monster the writing here is.... iffy. little heavyhanded dean's thinking about it, that's what's so fucked. like "look I already tried to kill him one time" we just keep comparing jack to snakes but I prefer when yockey's doing it sam looks so much like vincent from silent hill 3 in this outfit sam really is the smart one. jack's a child, he hasn't had a lot of experience with this. dean... I guess tried to explain what he wanted but didn't realized he'd get overruled but sam is smart because sam knows how to deal with witchy shit. like he'd survive in a hansel and gretel situation. GET HIM JACK GET HIM this is BULLSHIT dean tried to kill him and he didn't answer the question re: "do you still think i'm a monster" fuuuuuck this WHERE IS CASTIEL, why is jack always trapped alone with dean and unable to get away OTL dean won't admit he himself is a monster either lol oops. or that sam is. oops!! dean is mourning the loss of omelets and his new mom who can cook and some semblance of normality "evil mary poppins" is very funny to me because I've been watching venture bros and dr killinger has been showing up how long has this been actually? sam's birthday is in may, did they actually celebrate all those holidays in real time? I got the impression that it was a holidays-speedrun but now I'm doubting myself why is it always torture THANK YOU SAM!! SAM SAID IT!!!! "jack is not a monster, he's a kid who's gone from one tragedy to another" THANK YOU!!! sam just won so many points with me for saying it out loud "pain is just weakness leaving the body" huh, at least it opened the door :\ sam poor baby lost all his fucking fingernails trying to stand up for jack :( it's wild seeing smoeone's eyes glow green this is why cas can't be here, because castiel could just stop her just go back to your forest lady sam's right, the men of letters just use monsters for their own ends sam goes "we care about him" dean goes "oh yeah jack's useful" which to be fair dean's trying to logic/rationalize it, that the world needs jack, but I don't know that those lines would have been reversed insofar as characterization feeling authentic she's having trouble processing her own grief ah yeah there it is "sorry I ripped your fingernails off one by one" yeah god she hasn't seen the sun in decades?? "it's an interdimensional geoscope" "I looked into it earlier and didn't see anything" "oh that's... not good" I'm glad sam and jack are talking about how jack is feeling and if he needs to talk I'm glad dean is cooking happy birhday jack where is castiel for this I have mixed feelings but I guess this turned out okay, still waiting for DEAN TO APOLOGIZE TO JACK? but dean never apologizes to anyone. the cake is a step in the right direction but cake doesn't make up for locking him in a box and threatening to kill him several times over, sorry

#s15e14

[oceaneducation]

There are moments in life, that you have dreamt about for years. Doing a TEDx talk and becoming part of the inspiring global TED community was one of them. And then, as the saying goes, "Life is what happens, while you are busy making other plans". 

Whilst I could prepare the message of the talk, I was unable to deliver it in the way I had pictured it. After I have agonized until today about whether I should share the experience and message or not, I decided to post about it anyway. 

Although after several attempts I had to use my notes to deliver the talk, although neither mentally nor physically I was feeling at ease that day, I stand by my decision to go forward with the talk on that day and not cancel. 

Despite the subpar performance, the message is much bigger than these 18 min, bigger than my personal failure, bigger than my individual limited lifetime. It`s about human community and how we can all come together to protect the ocean. Thank you dear TEDx UniMannheim team for inviting me on 10th October to "Perfectly Imperfect" and showing such understanding, compassion and support. 

Thank you to the other speakers, who cheered me on that day, especially Gigi. And thank you to my brothers, who showered me with positive energy as always are also responsible for the best gift I have ever received - my spirit animal Totoro, who of course was also with me on the red carpet. 

Here is the video, in case you want to watch it. Unfortunatly due to technical glitches the quality is not so good https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoeefnFIlN4 Below is the complete text of the talk. I hope I can bring the message across this way. #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Who is allowed to save the ocean?

Good afternoon everyone,for the duration of the talk, I want you, dear audience, to imagine that you are the ocean:

You are vast, beautiful, strong.You are home to around 70% of all life on earth.You are mysterious - 91% of ocean species, your children, are unknown to humanity.You cover 71% of the Earth’s surface.You are the cradle of existence, life began in you, around 3 billion years ago.Thanks to YOU, all life on Earth can breathe and exist. 

Oh what's that, you feel unwell? Climate change is making you warmer, rise up, acidic.Humans are polluting you with plastics, noise and chemicals.Your children, the plants and animals, are being captured, killed andencaged.

How can you be set free from these worries and problems?How can you feel secure and happy?So you need help, right?Who will rescue you?Aliens? Cats? Or maybe – Batman?Jokes aside.The pain you are suffering is caused by humans.So it would have to be one of them who decides to come to your rescue.So a human then.Who would you like to be saved by?How would they look?Does it even matter?Chances are, the only ones that will show up for your rescue, no matter what your answer is, are white humans, most likely men.

So you wonder, dear ocean, what happened to the rest?Weren't they motivated enough to help you?Let me explain to you, why they could not show up:When humans hear the word „human“, the first thing that comes to their minds is a white man, or a white person.White people are what is seen as the standard, the norm.Search Google for „marine conservationist“, and images of mostly white people pop up.Yet, Earth currently accommodates 7.8 billion people, of which nearly two-thirds live in Asia and 17% in Africa.

Biodiversity, which is linked to the health of ecosystems, is something that human conservationists focus on.But human diversity itself is missing.How can humans acknowledge the worth of other beings, if they fail to do so in each other?These “other” humans want to help you too, dear ocean, but it will take them longer to get to you.

Let's imagine, being able to protect you, is a prize at the end of a game.I know, don‘t blush, it is very flattering.When I was little, my family used to play a game called „snakes andladders“.It's a game where there are ladders that help you to advance faster, and snakes that slow you down.Whoever makes it to the end of the playing field, dear ocean, as weassume in this case, can contribute to your rescue.

The game stands for the ups and downs of my life:My quest to marine conservation, the struggles in terms of women's rights and racism, as an example for a Woman of Color.I also explore systemic obstacles Women of Color are more likely to face when they want to protect you.You will see, dear ocean, how everything is connected and why a large portion of humanity currently cannot come to your rescue.BTW, I love snakes, so please, dear snakes, don`t take it personally that you are playing the villain in this scenario. 

My parents fled Sri Lanka in 1983 because of the Tamil genocide.The snake was already rearing its head.They ended up in a refugee camp in Germany.That is when I was born.And then later, my two brothers.In the picturesque village in Southern Germany we moved to and called home, our family didn't have the privilege to be treated as favorably as the only two other things that were named Black – the Black Forest and the Black Forest cake.

Although there were people who welcomed us warm heartedly, I will never forget being called the N- word for the first time, which was when I was still in kindergarten.My father did what he could do to make a living, working night shifts in a factory and my mother cleaned houses, and mostly stayed home.They knew, education was the only currency that could make a future for us children in a foreign country. So they told us to work extra hard. 

Growing up in a very conservative family, as the eldest and onlydaughter of a Tamil household, I was constantly shifting between the outer German and the Tamil world.In the outer world, in school, I was the outsider.Being the only person of color at the whole school, until my brothers later joined me, some classmates made racist jokes within earshot. 

At home, I realized that a Tamil girl is expected to behave very differently from a German girl:Whilst other teenagers talked about love, I was to sit still at functions where relatives came over to ask when I was ready for arranged marriage.It was at home where my fight for women's rights began – fighting for my own freedom.

Fast forward to university, in a bigger city.One day, I was out, waiting alone for the tram at night.Suddently, several Nazis started to throw beer bottles at me.They yelled: „Tomorrow the headline of the newspaper will read ‚A dead n- b- found cut up in a trash can‘“.I survived because I ran for my life.

Yes, dear ocean, that is scary.Recently I watched Lovecraft Country, a show that is a take on H.P.Lovecraft (a brillliant writer) and racism.The author, Misha Green, mentioned that „being an ‘other’ in this world, you’re walking around in a horror movie at all times, you’re always on the edge, wondering when the monster is going to jump out and get you.“This is exactly how I feel – the exhaustion of always having to fightagainst racism, it never stops.

In 2004, I enrolled at another university – the very university that has invited me to speak today, my alma mater, the University of Mannheim.Here, I heard about "Gender Studies" for the first time through a female professor, who became my mentor.About the same time, I joined a women's association.And it was here I learnt about the importance of who can and cannot ask questions in academia and politics- questions that then become the basis of what „we“ should „know“ about how the world works.The male gaze, who decides on what is important, while the rest of the world is willingly ignored.I became aware of how I was part of the fate that millions of girls and women face.

These women, in academia and the political sphere, were the ones who helped me climb the long ladder of knowledge and consciousness in the fields of gender and racism.Of course the snakes were around:E.g. I struggled to make ends meet, had to take up student loans and juggle several jobs.Once I explained to a political science professor that I was unable to participate in group work every evening of the week because I had to work, he replied: „You should not study if you can't afford it.“

So, dear ocean, where exactly do you come in? Why is all this woman's rights and racism talk important to your survival?

It was in 2008, in a little town in Peru.Back then I was volunteering for a women’s rights NGO in Lima.The towns income was based mostly on small- scale fisheries.You know, where humans go out in little boats to fish mostly for their own sustenanceI noticed a local woman with bruises on her arms.She opened up and told me about the domestic abuse that was affecting her and other women, for the men of the town could not catch enough fish to provide the livelihood of the families anymore.Something that, as I learned later, happens all around the world.So, you see, dear ocean, how because the men didn‘t catch enough fish, the women suffered.

I understood that it would make more sense for me to find out more about you, before continuing my path.I started to reach out and talk to humans who work in marineconservation.I was lucky enough to find people who helped me to learn more about you.Other questions arose:Do I have to study marine biology to protect you?Do you care if you are saved by a scientist or by a non- scientist?Can you afford to turn someone away who comes to your rescue?

I grew tired of seeing you, the ocean, as a place that was solely there to supply us humans with resources.Then the best thing ever happened:I read about Marine Protected Areas.

Yes, I know, you are getting all excited about them.They are a place of rest and happiness, a safe haven for the fauna and flora that you created.But, the more I learned, the more I got concerned:Unfortunately a lot of Marine Protected Areas are mere “paper parks”, snakes in disguise for you, dear ocean, as they only offer protection on paper.

I needed to find out more and really connect with you, dear ocean.So, with the help of skilled and understanding teachers, who happen to be Men of Color, I learned even more:First, how to swim, at the age of 33 - a skill many people living on your shores, especially People of Color, don`t have.Shortly after how to dive.

From November 2017 to October 2018, I undertook the first ever world trip to Marine Protected Areas, to see for myself how the situation was.The focus was on the Caribbean, one of your most beautiful partsIt was during the trip that the „snakes“ got me in the most unexpected moments:

While participating in a sailing course before the trip, I was ignored because I was the only one in the course who could not just hop on their family boat for the weekend to practise.With the hope of a more inclusive experience, I went sailing with a crew, with the sad outcome of being bullied by a fellow crew member because of the color of my skin.While diving in Australia, a dive Instructor mentioned, I didn't have to worry about being assaulted, because I looked like an Aborigine.Another dive instructor did a racist greeting while walking by, as if it were the most normal thing to do.

As you know, dear ocean, swimming, diving, sailing, all these skills are key to get in touch with you and do the actual work in the field. During the trip, other “snakes” became visible:

Institutions, where white staff were in charge, not giving locals the knowledge nor the power to operate on their own– a kind of white savior complex.After the trip, I learnt that Women of Color are more likely to experience e.g. microaggressions, disrespect, misogyny and white fragility – in marine conservation and life in general.Gatekeepers, who decide who is worthy of a fellowship, job etc. areeverywhere.Often, Women of Color are the first ones and the only ones in their families pursuing a career in marine conservation, sometimes a career in general.A mentor can be a „ladder“ and is very helpful to overcome the hurdles, the „snakes“.

Even if someone from a minority gets access to university, can that human afford the unpaid internships and volunteer opportunities?Free labour is a huge issue.Environmental jobs are advertised and accepted through established networks.When back in Germany, I sat down with a coach to prepare for a job interview.She opened the NGO website: „You don't stand a chance to get the job. Look, all the superiors hired someone who looks like their younger self.“

So, imagine, a human from a minority gets hired – congratulations, you would say dear ocean. Or not?It depends on which position the human ends up in, how much influence and power they have: Are they glorified interns, part of the senior staff, member of the board?Studies show that the higher in the hierarchy, the lower the diversity is.Sadly, some People of Color are hired merely as tokens of diversity, to make the institution look inclusive.

How about the working conditions?How about the salary?Is it the same salary someone gets, who is not a minority and has the same qualifications?Generally, the salaries in conservation are low.Yes, some humans claim that it is „working in the conservation field is rewarding enough to justify the sacrifice“.Again, a privilege not everyone has access to. Why? Because of "black" or "brown tax“:This means, dear ocean, the money that professionals of color are expected to give to support their families.It causes financial distress to middle class professionals as they usually have no savings left.It is a financial burden on households of color and can rob a person of the ability to attain financial security.

How about the relationship with the non- minority people at work?Imagine, ocean, there is something called „racial gaslighting“:When humans who have never experienced racism, tell the ones that do and share their feelings, that they are exaggerating, making them doubt themselves.Imagine the mental strain of minorities, who carry this burden.

So, you see, humans who are against diversity, are not only hurting other humans, but they are also hurting you.It seems as if human society does not want a lot of people to protect you.

Looking at our game of snakes and ladders, all humans in marineconservation are on their way to the “win”, to help you.But in reality some get a headstart while minorities lag behind.

I am a marine conservationist.I am part of an industry that does not look like me.Not only am I a woman,  I am a Woman of Color.I represent two significantly underrepresented groups.Representation matters:Through creating a diverse, equitable and inclusive workforce in Marine Conservation, young people from underrepresented groups are empowered and enthused to make you, the ocean, feel secure and happy.

I hope through sharing my story of resilience, you can understand what numerous humans have to go through if they want to help you.

Dear ocean, I invite you look into the future with me:I see a world, in which there are more ladders than snakes.I see a world where all humans care for your wellbeing.I see a world in which marine conservation is a welcoming field.I see a world in which all humans are allowed to save you, the ocean. 

#TEDX TED TEDXMannheim OceanEducation MPAs

[slapshotsandoneshots]

Player: Leon Draisaitl – Edmonton Oilers

Prompt:

Thank you so much! This is 100 percent one of my favorite imagines I have ever done. Definitely Top 3! I hope you love it as much as I do!

Mentions: None

Warnings: Trouble Conceiving.

Preview: A few weeks had passed and the baby making campaign was in full force. He had enlisted a few of the boys to help him try and brainwash you. He even tried to use Misha in his never-ending tirade. You could only roll your eyes when Misha stumbled into the kitchen wearing a shirt that read “Big Brother”

Characters: 1743 words.

You were sitting in the fresh Edmonton air, trying to enjoy the rare weekday lunch with your husband. It was not often you and Leon were able to go for lunch. Between his insane hockey schedule and your equally insane toddler, going out to eat was rarely an option.

You watched as something caught Leon’s eye. You followed his gaze to see him watching a woman walking down the sidewalk, her arms carrying bags from the neighboring baby boutique.

“I saw that.” You quipped as you were wrestling your fidgeting son.

“Huh” Leon looked at you confused, playing dumb.

“I saw you looking at her.” You replied.

“Babe, I really wasn’t…”

“Well, I saw the way you looked at her bump” you giggled.

 “She looked as if she could be due any day, she was glowing.”

“Look at you swooning over pregnancy.” You chuckled once more placing a kiss on your son’s cheek.

“Let’s have another baby.” Leon suddenly responded.

“Have you lost your mind?” You looked at him puzzlingly.

“We make such cute babies, Y/N. And Misha is getting so big now, I want another little one. Plus, you were just so beautiful pregnant.”

“I definitely was not feeling beautiful Leon.” You laughed as Misha had finally succeeded at escaping from your grasp. He toddled around the table to his father who delightedly scooped him up.

“Seriously Y/N, I want to have more little babies with you.” He smiled as he pushed Misha’s hair from his eyes.

You watched your son and husband for a moment. You had to admit, you and Leon did make adorable babies.

“We’ll see Leon.”

Leon looked up and smiled at you. You could tell by his eyes he was already hatching a million and one plans to convince you.

 A few weeks had passed and the baby making campaign was in full force. He had enlisted a few of the boys to help him try and brainwash you. He even tried to use Misha in his never-ending tirade. You could only roll your eyes when Misha stumbled into the kitchen wearing a shirt that read “Big Brother”

 You were sitting at the kitchen counter, enjoying a bagel. Leon was still at practice and Misha was spending time with his grandparents. You were enjoying the silence but only for a moment. You couldn’t deny that you loved the slightly organized chaos that came with your rambunctious son. You adored the love and noise that came with having Misha in the house. He was so worth every morning spent clutching the toilet and the sleepless nights being unable to get comfortable. Maybe it would be worth it again for another little Leon following around his older brother.

 You were pulled from your thoughts hearing the door open and close.

“Y/N? You home my love?” you heard Leon call from the front room.

“Kitchen” you responded as you continued to enjoy your bagel.

You felt his strong arms wrap around you and a quick kiss to your temple. He then turned to the fridge to grab food for himself. “Misha still with my parents?”

“Mhmm” you nodded. He smirked at you drinking one of his post-practice shakes.

“I didn’t take my birth control this morning.” You stated simply taking another bite of your bagel.

You enjoyed watching Leon almost sputter out his shake, his eyes widening.

“You mean you want to try? 

“I mean you make a hard case” you smile and suddenly you were being swept from your stool.

“Hey! What about my bagel?” you giggled as Leon ran up the stairs with you in his arms.

“Bagel… Later…. Baby…. Now.” He responded between placing kisses to your lips.

 You walked into the bathroom with a groan. Leon glanced at you from the sink.

“We just started trying babe.” He said reading your mind

You just nodded, you couldn’t help feeling deflated 

“Plus that just means we get to keep trying” He wiggled his eyebrows at you.

You chuckled as you went to start getting Misha ready for the day.

 Your days were filled with trying for baby number two when you could fit it in between toddler naps and hockey games. Each time came with no success, and it was weighing you down. You had no issues when you decided to have Misha. You had begun to track your ovulation and were trying foods you read helped with conception.

And now here you were after your last run of baby making, laying on the bed both feet in the air against the headboard, reading another article on yoga positions to help fertility.

Leon walked into the room from taking his shower, he looked at you as if you were insane. “What are you doing now?”

“I’m lifting my hips to try and coax your little Leon’s to my uterus.”

He huffed as cleaned up his suit that was strewed across the room.

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked

“Dammit Y/N, this isn’t fun anymore.” He shouts obviously frustrated.

“What’s not going to be fun is if you wake up your son.”

“I can’t do this anymore.” He says quieter but no less angry.

“Do what? Have another baby?” you question.

“I want nothing more than another baby with you but not on some crazy obulation schedule that you basically have posted on the fridge.”

“It's Ovulation Hun.”

“I don’t care what the damn word is! And can you please get out of the stupid position! I’m trying to have a conversation with you!”

You turn to get down and sit up just as Misha wails from his bedroom. You sigh as you head for the door. “I’m going to go try and get our son back to sleep.” You scoff.

You heard a loud thump and shatter as you walked down the hallway.

After a tiring hour of pacing the room with a crying toddler on your hip, you finally had gotten Misha back to sleep.

You walked back into the bedroom and Leon was in bed watching game highlights on a sports channel. “Is he back asleep?” he asked, eyes not leaving the TV.

“Mhmm.”

“Good.”

You crawl into bed and sit on your knees next to him. He steals a quick glance at you but continues to watch the TV still pouting. You finally just speak up.

“I just feel like I have failed you. We keep trying to have a baby and it is just not happening. I have been so obsessed with trying to make this work that I didn’t realize how you were feeling. I’m so sorry Leon, I just want to give you another baby so badly.”

Leon quickly sat up to face you, wiping the tears from your cheeks 

“Babe you are not failing me in the least. I know we didn’t struggle with Misha but it will happen. I just want you to stop putting so much pressure on this. You are stressing about this when we should just enjoy the time we have with just Misha and the process of making more little babies with your very handsome husband.”

You chuckle at the last part and share a kiss with said handsome husband. You spent the rest of the evening purposefully asking questions you knew the answers to about his game highlights.

 You were sitting in the backyard with Kelly Talbot. You watched as the twins chased your clumsy toddler around with their dogs.

“How’s trying to expand your roster going? Cam told me that Leon couldn’t stop talking about it.” Kelly asked sipping her mimosa. You were having your ritual of getting brunch with your fellow Oiler mommy while the boys were on road trips.

“We’ve been trying but no luck. It caused a bit of a rough spot but we got past it. We are just going with the flow for now. It will happen when it happens.”

You smile as you reached for the first sip of your mimosa. As soon as the smell got in range of your nose, you could feel your breakfast making its way back up your throat. You leaned over the trash can and lost the contents of your stomach.

“Maybe Happen is soon then later” Kelly snickers rubbing your back. 

You looked at her as you wiped your mouth. “Pharmacy Run?”

“Let’s get the kids in the car!” she smiles with a snap of fingers

 5 pregnancy tests later, you were definitely pregnant.  You were beyond thrilled. The first thing you wanted to do was tell Leon. You reached for your phone but decided against it. Leon had figured out you were pregnant with Misha before you could surprise him with some cute announcement. You started to put the plan in motion.

Leon was due any moment now and you were waiting in the living room, trying to look as causal and nonsuspicious as you could. You continued to check on Misha making sure everything was in place.

You heard the garage door opening and you couldn’t help but squeal in excitement. You composed yourself and headed to the door to greet him.

“Hey Babe” he smiled as he walked in the door putting his bag down and giving you a quick kiss. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too and so did a certain little one.” You smirked at your own hidden meaning.

“You currently have a very impatient toddler who demanded a bedtime story from his papa waiting upstairs for you.”

“Well Let's not keep him waiting any longer.” Leon smiled heading up the stairs. You followed close behind.

Leon opened the door to Misha’s room to find him sitting in his bed trying to read a story.

“What’s on the menu tonight little man?” he questioned taking the book from your giggling toddler.

Leon read the title and almost fell over. What to Do When Mommy is Having a Baby.

He whipped around to you. “Are you..”

“I’m thinking we go for a goalie this time around, expand our roster.”

Leon swept you up and spun you around, much to Misha’s delight. He placed a kiss to your lips as he sat you down.

“No goalies, maybe a right winger.” He smiled and you couldn’t have been happier.

#leon draisaitl #leon draisaitl drabble #leon draisaitl imagine #NHL imagine #nhl oneshot #nhl drabble #edmonton oilers

[everythingislegalinsantafe]

Guests and Strangers (Chapter 3)

a/n: sorry for being inactive ive been very busy with school! i hope u enjoy :)

tags: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @yall-mother-fuckers-need-misha @superwholockbooknerd526

word count: 751 words

chapter 1 | chapter 2

Being a revolutionary nurse is very different from being a British nurse.  Since the colonists do not have as much money and support as Britain does, staff was very short and you were very busy throughout the whole day.  You absolutely loved it.  You were never bored since you were always preoccupied with mending wounds or stitching a soldier up.

All of the other nurses were incredibly kind to you and you even made a very good friend in one of the head nurses, Mary.  She was the one who trained you and during it you both realized how much you both had in common and developed a quick and close relationship.

Your favorite part of the day is when General Washington would stop by the tent and "survey" how the nurses and harmed soldiers were doing.  The other nurses would giggle whenever he came in because according to them, he never did that until you started working.

"Evening, Miss (L/N)."

You looked up from the soldier who had a minor stab wound you were tending to, "Evening, General.  The men hurt from the battle the other day are healing up very nicely if that was what you were here for."

The almighty general coughed while his face flushed slightly pink, "Ah yes, that's what I was here for," his eyes flitted around the tent, "I'll still have a look around.  Just to make sure everything is in order."

You nodded and looked back at the soldier, giving him medicine to make sure his injury wouldn't get infected.  In the middle of your conversation with him, you heard someone clear their throat.  You turned around and saw General Washington holding his hat, his face pinker than before.

"I..." he started off rocking back and forth on his heels, "I was wondering if you could accompany me around..."

You raised an eyebrow at this and looked confused at him.  His face turned red at your expression and soon the other nursed noticed and giggled quietly as the scene unfolded before them.

"I meant so you can just tell me the status of my men!  You are the nurse here and you could just tell me how they are healing when they would be back." Washington explained to you.

You laughed and stood up, saying goodbye to the soldier you were helping, and walked over to the General.  He gently grabbed your arm and looped it around his, allowing you to guide him.  This time it was your face that turned slightly pink but nevertheless you continued onward and talked about each soldier in the medical tent.  Finally you got to the last man and started telling Washington his condition until...

"Well, Mr. Henwood here had a very nasty bullet lodged in his left shoulder.  If you look-" You stopped yourself when you noticed the General wasn't looking at the man but instead was staring at you.  "Sir are you even listening to what I am saying?"

His eyes widened and unlooped his arm from yours while taking a step back.

"Well, uh, thank you Miss (L/N) but I have very important business to intend to." He sputtered, unable to look at you in the eye even though he was just staring at you moments ago.  "I hope to see you tomorrow, goodbye." He turned around and lifted the flap of the tent, leaving you, and the rest of the nurses, in stunned silence until a wave a squeals was heard throughout the room.  Mary came up to you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders.

"I think the General has a crush on you," She whispered in you ear.  "And I think you have a crush on him too!" She sung out loud.

"Mary!" You harshly whispered. "Don't say that!  He doesn't like me.  He's only here to check up on the soldiers."

Mary raised an eyebrow at this, looking at you with the silent question of "Really?"

You blushed, "He probably wouldn't like me anyways...I'm just a nurse..."

At that Mary grinned, "So you do like him!"

"I never said that!  I just said he wouldn't like me!" You answered indignantly.

"But you never denied liking him." She smirked.

You rolled your eyes.  "Don't forget to check up on Mr. Brown's hand soon."

"Oh yes!  Thank you for reminding me (Y/N)" Mary said and walked off.

You giggled and got right back to work but a little more distracted than usual as a certain general was always running through your head.

#guests and strangers #george washington #george washington x reader #hamilton #hamilton the musical #writings #gwash X reader