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featherstcnes · 4 months

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regret had been aching in his very bones since he'd left elain in that hall during the winter solstice. he'd had no choice, not entirely. if it were a different world, and rhysand was not his high lord, he would simply have never left. the image of possibility had been on repeat in his mind for longer than he'd liked to admit. this was a mistake. it was painful, practically -- seeing that image of hurt on her face after he'd said those words he'd never meant. had he ruined every single memory in her head that they'd shared? every single walk in the garden, every moment that he'd sat with her after the cauldron?

his shadows seemed to be creeping around his shoulders even more lately, as if they wanted to pull him into a corner and drag him down into depths unseen. he wanted to pretend as if nothing could hold him down, as if nothing could stop him from having what he wanted, but of course, he understood rhysand, despite his hatred for having to stay away, despite the envy he felt for what his brothers had and yet he lacked. he'd been successful, for the most part -- keeping away from the house was easy, if he kept himself busy. but velaris was home, he couldn't stay away forever. and despite his attempts to stay away and keep his distance, the very voice he'd been trying to avoid filled his every sense. shadows slowly started to disappear from around his shoulders as she spoke. azriel stilled.

@homebehind asked: did you mean it? any of it? (elain to azriel? 👀)

with his gaze focusing on her, he felt the hit of her words to his chest. it seemed they both were saying things as if they were daggers ready to be thrown, finding their target. " elain. " the name leaving his lips felt almost like a plead to him. but it sounded as if he was unsure of what even to say -- her name leaving his lips softly, as if it was a petal from a flower in her garden. he allowed himself to look at her then, desperately trying to replace the memories of that flash of hurt in his mind, the image of leaving her standing there as if he'd not wanted to kiss her then and never leave. as if he didn't want to simply disappear into the shadows with her and finally taste what it was like to kiss her, to hold her in his grasp.

he didn't know how to approach this, and so, instead of filtering through his mind for the right thing to say, he simply spoke. he was sure rhysand would hate that he was even having this conversation, but it was too late for that now. it was too late to pretend as if this hadn't been eating away at him endlessly since he'd last seen her. " if you think, for one moment, that i have not meant every word, every action before i --- " he didn't really feel like bringing up the event in their recent past; of leaving the both of them wanting. he continued, hoping that the expression on his face was enough of an explanation as to what he was referencing. " i'm sorry. " he didn't want to blame rhysand, he didn't want to go into details that he knew he shouldn't share.

PRE ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP PROMPTS

#homebehind #homebehind / elain #* ⟢ ━━ azriel. ( answered )#i'm SICK #i'm sorry in advance for how much of a simp he is but i had this thought and i couldn't not ramble #idk what to even say i was just feeling things i literally opened the books again to look at quotes LMAO #AKLDJALKD #me writing hundreds of words only for him to say like 3 sentences (not even) its fine .#i was gonna queue this but i couldn't i had to just hit post

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breadnoise · 6 years

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5, 8, 18!

5. Which work are you particularly proud of?

i think either my hope world or my outcast one? both were a bit out of my comfort zone so i think i’m glad they turned out pretty well and people liked them lol.. the hope world one i liked that i played around more with shapes nd bright!!! colours and the outcast one was just really different from what i was used to?? but i thought it turned out cool lol ... also maybe i’m just proud when i can make a lot of panels for one thing LOL

8. How would you describe your style(s)? If you have many, are there certain aesthetic points that remain constant?

o well thanks to sharm for pointing out some things earlier lmfao probably more typography-based and a focus on cohesion? also i use noise for almost all of my works because it’s like.. a safety blanket LOL ,, the colour palettes i use are usually only a few choice colours too so i guess that goes in hand with cohesion

18. Idea that you always wanted to complete, but couldn’t make work?

i started a piece for the pics that namjoon posted on twitter captioned “winter’s end” but it just KEPT NOT WORKING and it was so ugly lkdalksdj i didn’t get past my first panel so i scrapped it :/// i didn’t have a plan so maybe that’s why but it really was just so akldjalkds lol

✨ask me about my graphics!

#sweta thank you !!!!#2awake #ask

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