#BUT YEAH more info about My Curse (holly). its depressing! isnt that fun?

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Following up with the "Shadow Sickness" post imma jot down Shadow Sickness headcanons for my own main OC Holly Steelcry. y'know if anyone cares (solemnly and bashfully kicks at the ground with dirty sneakers /j)

"Shadow Sickness" headcanons for The Thing™

The progression of Shadow Sickness (regular state of mind -> corruption of mind and soul -> complete madness and/or eventual death) varies from person to person, for any reason. Holly's state of Shadow Sickness could be considered Halted (still suffering from symptoms but no longer actually "sick") due to how slooooow the progression is. They're in a "gray area" state where she's not developing new symptoms but her existing ones are gradually worsening

Holly first became "infected" when they learned Shadow Magic for the first time, but their symptoms started IMMEDIATELY, which is extremely uncommon. The first symptom Holly displayed was a Tulpa, a physical manifestation of their survivor's guilt of the destruction of Azteca. This would eventually lead to their second symptom of the Shadow Sickness, the physical scarring in which the survivor's guilt manifested - darkened streaks curled around their shoulders and down her back, appearing to resemble blackened, burnt feathers. This would be the first scar of three. (This particular scar brings feelings of shoulder and back discomfort: involuntary back and shoulder twitching, tiny muscle spasms, slight pain, and an occasional burning sensation).

Since then no more Tulpas would manifest, but more physical scarring would appear over time. The second scar resembles a clawed, skeletal hand curling around the front of Holly's throat. The "fingers" are long and crooked and wrap around her jugular and close snugly across her entire neck (this scar causes a sensation of asphyxiation; the tightness/closing of the throat and a loss of oxygen. Rarely it will cause a sore throat and when these feelings flare up, Holly will either go silent completely, repeatedly and audibly gulps, or pauses to take deep open-mouthed breaths of air). This scar starts to appear by the end of Khrysalis and fully manifests by the end of Mirage. It represents the helpless feelings of being forever bound to Shadow combined with the subconscious fear of fully succumbing to its temptations and madness until there is nothing of reason left.

The third (and final thus far) scar to appear is a swath of darkness that stretches across Holly's face and covers both eyes and the bridge of her nose, which appears to look like an eye mask, or the face of a raccoon (this scar is what caused Holly's eyesight to go bad, so much so that without them, Holly can only see light. They cannot distinguish any colors or shapes. This scar also causes intermittent exotropia [the occasional wandering of their right eye, facing outward], and headaches). This scar first started to appear in Karamelle and was fully manifested by the end of Novus. This scar represents the full embrace of the "false" identity Holly adopted of being Bartleby's Scion, and the deep-rooted belief of being inhuman and therefore better or superior than normal humans. It is when Holly accepts the dehumanization of her from everyone around them. (But hey, at least it covers their constant eyebags! ✌🏾)

Other symptoms would include the temporary loss of body control and mild hallucinations. Since Holly's Shadow Sickness is not yet in the most severe stage, she is fully conscious and sound of mind when these episodes happen.

The most common physical episode is when Holly's entire body suddenly goes rigid in a state of paralysis. Stiff like a board and can only move when someone moves them, but will involuntarily snap right back into position. It's spooky to see someone look so tense and frightened but their expression is nonchalant and a bit tired. "Yeah, it happens." This usually lasts for around a minute or two.

Other physical episodes include jumping straight up into the air, suddenly dropping and rolling, the tensing and flexing of their hands like retractable claws, and suddenly switches languages (English to Shadow Language) mid sentence. These are not repeated in a row and only last for seconds before Holly is able to control their movements again and gets back up to resume what she was doing before.

Holly's hallucinations are mild and few and far in between and almost never cause distress. The most common are visions of Shadow Shrikes wandering in the wild and disappearing behind trees, poles, buildings, etc. The only interaction these hallucinations have with Holly is that sometimes they will look up to glance at them before moving on.

The more severe and distressing hallucinations are even rarer. An auditory hallucination of a distant, long whistle above their head, a sound akin to something falling. This usually startles Holly into a physical episode of losing body control to jump up or drop down and roll. They never see anything in the sky when their head snaps up to look, though.

The second is a visual and auditory hallucination of a parliament of owls or an unkindness of ravens stalking Holly from a distance that appears to get closer with every glance. Upon closer inspection their faces and beaks are warped in uncanny, human expressions of anger and judgement. These hallucinations never seem to be violent but give off feelings of unease and malaise.

#tw hallucinations #tw seizures #tagging as those jic lmk if i need to add anymore tags #BUT YEAH more info about My Curse (holly). its depressing! isnt that fun? #they're a big ol mess! and honestly by the time they hit the fourth arc they dont really give a shit anymore #holly actually likes the raccoon scar a lot. it hides her eye bags and she pretends to be a bandit to be funny #(ignoring now that they have to pay 500 gold a year for glasses now) #holly is talking before all of a sudden she drops neatly to the ground and does a single roll before getting back up “so anyways” #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts #my ocs #holly steelcry