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[vargaslovinghours]

The unusual but no less hard-hitting 10½! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)

So as it turns out, I did so many Blank Slate/Have you lost your mind? doodles that I ComPletely broke the last sketchdump lol, so it gets it’s own! Who could’ve figured that making basically a full comic of Chapters 2 and 3 would’ve made just a few too many sketches lol

Because of that, I’d strongly recommend reading what I've posted of Have you lost your mind? so far before this! Spoilers and author’s notes/behind the scenes warnings and all that haha

Concept sketch for Scriabin - I always love having visual signifiers to denote timeline/AU/etc. differences so you can tell at a glance where you are :) His silhouette gets to be correct! The details, well, sorry we forgot those ♪

And concepts for Edgar! I've drawn him in different glasses before so it was a bit of an excuse, using these new/old glasses to do so again haha

But in the end I went for a reference! Remember when I drew Edgar's glasses tiny?

And I mean, if he hadn't worn them in a while, maybe they're just a bit small on him! Lol

Poor memory-less Edgar's musings, it's not just sad to be forgotten, it's sad to forget :(

Early concept of Scriabin freaking out by himself in the bedroom. I'm glad I got to keep it :D

Always gotta draw 'em reacting to something just out of frame

Poor Scriabin, he wants to be close despite knowing Edgar doesn't remember him. He has to face this whole Being Human thing completely alone! Edgar just doesn't understand!

He doesn't know how good he's got it haha, if I was really mean I'd have let him keep his glasses instead. There's a bunch of fun themes either way, but stealing from Edgar while hiding in his own hair is as good as any hehe <3

Blank-faced Edgar, I ended up with a lot of these, unsurprisingly. Doesn't help that he's cute haha

As usual, starting from the middle - it's just easier to get ideas flowing around a core! Also that note pointing at Edgar of "Put Todd to bed" was all the everything of the prep work I did for writing that little section, but the rest Absolutely Needed storyboarding lol

He might come to resent you if you manhandle so much right after meeting for the "first" time

Scriabin actually touches him in the original draft, but after I thought about it, it'd probably take a bit to cross the touch barrier comfortably again! Scriabin's still weird about Edgar but Edgar is wary, it's an interesting dynamic

I won't show off every panel, but panels like these where I think they turned out especially cute Have to be included haha <3 I dunno what it is but Scriabin pouting always turns out adorable ♥

Floof harder! Edgar's innocent expressions ahh <3

Starting to lay the groundwork, but still a bit nervously! It is quite fun how they skirt each other, not quite sure what the other knows - how many lies can Scriabin get away with before he gets caught!

Scriabin using some informed guesswork in conjunction with what he definitely knows, he is rather intelligent :) You can also see Edgar's unfocused eyes well in this one, I tried to draw them fuzzy behind those glasses hehe

These are all lined up like this on the page :D Really happy with his hand expressions here, and his face haha

This was one of my favourite lines - he keeps making excuses for Nny! Edgar no! - I fully admit that it's also partially influenced by how cute Edgar turned out haha, the poor thing - but he's so wonderfully fluffy!

I love this line as well, Scriabin utterly convinced that all his hard work must have gotten through to Edgar somewhere in there, he said it often enough, he must have listened to him at least once-!

And then Edgar completely cuts him off and redirects him haha, they’re both hopeless <3

So mad at himself and Edgar, comedy = pain + time, but this is still fresh! Give yourself some time!

That last line in particular is so insidious because he did that, Scriabin was the one who put him in that situation, and now he’s trying to turn it back around on him! He's the worst ♪

Guilty Edgar <3 Still pressing on (changing the subject so he doesn't have to linger on the feeling hehe), he does have his own questions

These kinds of exchanges were especially fun to look back on from their individual perspectives since I only drew it once, starting with Edgar. How honest can Scriabin really be? He can't explain everything and not be kicked out for being a potential danger to Todd or Edgar! He's gotta play his cards Just So

Edgar is also quite intelligent! Catching Scriabin out in a lie, even when he's trying so hard to skirt the truth!

Scriabin so mad about being called out, gotta rub it in just a little bit that he's Totally Right lol, what a brat <3

Scriabin is legally and morally and emotionally and spiritually obligated to mess with Edgar sexually in literally every iteration of his existence, it is a core tenant of his being and also he really really wants to (lol) ♪ Drawing Edgar all blushed up is just a bonus, who does this stranger think he is! What has he forgotten! He's not some easy man! Haha, if you only (still) knew, Edgar

Whatever he was going to say would just hurt Scriabin's feelings, better to just cut him off before another reminder gets laid out

Probably my least favourite dialogue that I had to change was making "?" into something that flowed better in just-text, it's not the same! Lots of little notes about word choice actually haha. Love them reaching for each other even like this <3

Edgar has all these feelings to contend with! My favourite shot is easily the last one, Scriabin's relaxed mouth while Edgar's heart is beating out of his veins right into his ear ♥

Pls o////ò;

Existence is exhausting

Even without knowing him, he's just a cautious guy :) And he wants to be gentle with him! He doesn't realize what he's doing, what his actions would mean to Scriabin if he could see them, and he does them all the same 💕

Pretty lad <3

Technically backtracking, to Ch. 3! POV shifts are fun lol

Zarla mentioned Scriabin curling up into a ball in the blankets and I thought it was a cute visual haha ♪ Haven't had a use for it yet but never say never hehe

I wanted to go for some high perspective shots to drive home the uncanny feeling of being really truly alone for the first time ever. That, and he's dramatic anyhow haha

His posing was very important to me! Since Edgar knocks on the door while he's still leaned against it, the contact points would Feel a specific way

Scriabin got a lot of「bracket notes」for his section, usually as digs lol, where does Scriabin get off saying that Edgar has no tact haha

More blank-faced Edgar! These were actually drawn separately - could be chalked up to how each of them remember the event! Edgar sees himself as more put-together and Scriabin as more foolish haha ♪

That horrible sinking feeling

I pick on him a lot but this really would be incredibly scary and sad! He's alone, expelled, and the only person who Knows him now doesn't even recognize him! This was probably the one scene I wanted to be just a bit longer, really feel the weight, hmm

But he's also quite resilient haha, he has to be <3 He has enough tenacity, thank goodness haha

One of those examples of panels basically repeating lol, I can only fit so much text per pose! Plus it's fun to see the little body language differences :)

Another bracket note lol, Scriabin has to be the best at everything!

And another, have I mentioned that Kaggie is my favourite of the two? ✨ I'd still like to give both K and D a more sizeable reference sometime! Scriabin continues to be the cutest when he pouts, agh <3

Touchy touchy touch ♥

I do love the phrase "feeling himself" right after the last panel lol - it can be both literal and metaphorical! And that's what you get for not cleaning up after yourself! I swear that lightswitch panel confused me so many times on reviewing notes lol

He's not even careful pfft. Then again if he was, he wouldn't have a mess to grumble about in the first place!

A familiar face while Scriabin's already feeling small on his lonesome, ~it's symbolic~

Ough, it hurts to think that Edgar might actually be able to watch Zeitgeist, not knowing the deeper implications. The thought of him inviting Scriabin to see it! 💔

The most important question, and he hasn't come to a conclusion yet :) I wonder what his answer will be once he stops hiding from it!

Hhhh this has been a really fun AU to write for, I'm glad that I finally put it to words since it had been rolling around in my head since early 2021 - there are so many fun and insidious things to explore! Especially on Scriabin's side, though I still think it's the most fun to be stuck behind Edgar's eyes, an aware audience knowing what Scriabin is up to while Edgar doesn't hehe ♪ Hopefully I'll have some time to return to it after a bit! :D

#💟 #Doodles #Art #Sketchdump #Blank Slate AU #Scriabin #Edgar #Hhhhhhhwhy did I make so many of these lol ♪ #I finally utilized the method I'd heard about for fic writing of doodling out scenes for visualization #And then it comes back on me like this! Lol #And this still isn't even all of them! #Cough Patreon plug cough cough cough lol #But most of them are featured here :) I was happy with a lot of them! :D #In general as a fic it's been quite easy-going haha #It feels a little ironic to me but it's my in-between fic - since I'm not rereading it's detail-light/non-specific #I guess I'm just thinking of it as a first draft until I reread haha ♪ I'm just sharing it while I'm here! :) #I think it'd be a fun read-along to find which panels go to which scenes hehe #Although I'm also a big advocate for ''seeing'' fics on your own first! #Sometimes the imagery is different and inspires! I've had several times where I'll read and then draw #And /then/ go look at the accompanying art and it's quite different! Translation through medium! :D #So I always recommend getting your thoughts out first haha you can always return later :) #I know I said so already but having at-a-glance differences to show where we're at ah <3 #And that it's to do with both of their glasses! How they see each other but literally! Hehe! #It really is such a fun concept to play in ♪ Similar in some ways to And Also With You #But one-sided! I also really love the trope of ''The one who should know Doesn't'' #Oh and did you catch the Loved and Wanted reference? It's subtle haha #Always pulling little things from everywhere >:3c Blink and you miss it fun! #Pls do stick with me if you like it so far :D I have more ideas just you wait ♫

[sweetfirebird]

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The (delicately implied) monsterfucker is further down if you want to skip. Like Arthur MacArthur, he only seems polite about it.  At last, I am (physically) free of the day job, but…uh…wow. The recovery might take a while. I’ve worked for corporations, with bosses that literally gave me panic attacks. I got fired once at a small business because I wasn’t nice enough to a rich lady. (This is true. I literally was not nice enough to a friend of the owner’s wife. I was nice. Just not nice enough.) I think, with this place, in addition to Covid and all the fires and floods and the very American business expectation that you will just keep working no matter what is going on around you, the way this place, which prided itself on being more mom-and-pop/small business than corporate, but still was fine regularly exhausting me, took a little more from me emotionally than an impersonal corporation would have. A boss, and coworkers, who like to think and say that things are friendly and good, while content to use me up, is just… something I am still dealing with. Part of this is, I think, a particular thing that happens to people-pleasers (a term I hate because it’s not accurate. Emotion-managers fits better, to me.) and ND people, and like, oldest daughters with oldest daughter traumas, and well, basically anyone who masks their responses/emotions in public and who will Get the Work Done regardless of what is happening because of their own history and needs telling them they should. Those sort of people (myself included) are easy for workplaces to take advantage of. Some workplaces not even realize they are doing it. Though some definitely do. (And I should include families and friend groups as well as workplaces, but today, I am talking about shitty jobs, so.) All of this sort of ties in with a bunch of personal issues I’ve been dealing with (*cough* not dealing with *cough*) and which I am still processing. (I am sure it will show up in future stories. Lol. Just what we need. More Clematis-levels of trauma in our happy banging fairies and werewolves fiction.) But anyway, with that and grief and pandemic everything…I am still not working as quickly as I would like. This is okay, they tell me. Rest is good, I know. It just…is another personal issue I am working on. But I want to thank you all for your well wishes and encouragement! <3  Onward to story stuff!

I recently (yesterday) put up a free story on my Patreon. A Beings Verse AU for Vincent’s Thanksgiving Date (which btw is free/reader sets the price on Smashwords) I was exhausted from just leaving my day job on my birthday, so the birthday short was truly short this year. But you can find it on my Patreon or on my tumblr. The Honeybee and the Bear, a Bartleby/Piotr arranged marriage AU which is vaguely historical. I also lowered the price on the Familiar Spirits ebooks, and the paperback on its way. Any day now, really. The new paperback has all three stories, A Little Familiar, Holly and Oak, and Nothing More Certain, plus three accompanying shorts, along with a whole new cover. I will probably get rid of the single paperbacks because they were an experiment and I do not like the look of them. Also, this is a shameless and repetitive plug, but the audiobook for A Little Familiar is available at all the audiobook places. No, it has not earned back the cost of production yet, which is why whenever people ask me about more audiobooks, I will say this. (I would love to do more audiobooks. But, at least for me, for these and not the Beings, they don’t earn out. And I don’t even know if the Beings would earn out now since I’d be paying the upfront costs myself and not DSP. Also, when new Beings come out, do people want The Tales of Two Seers on audio or is that one just not a big deal to people?)

Okay. Into bigger news. Yes, I did start a new Beings book a few months ago, but I stopped for a while to work on a smaller winter release project because the Beings book (being a full novel) will take a while. I am four chapters in, jsyk. Progress is being made. Now, the winter project. I am hoping to get this out after Christmas. Maybe shortly before but probably after. It is not even remotely Christmas-related, don’t worry. It's when you are a pushing 30, bookish, nerdy sheep-man with hormonal issues, who foolishly leaves the house to go get laid, only to run into that coworker who makes you feel things you do not understand but which are obviously terrible and not at all sexy or adoring, and then discover he was actually out hunting a terrible monster who has now taken a liking to YOU and uh oh, guess that coworker has to protect you now. Also there might be a hint of found family perhaps... you know how I am.  Wait. That might be better than the dumb official synopsis I am still working on. …….. Oh well. It’s still a work in progress, but to give you a taste… (ahaha that is sort of joke. Nevermind. Sorry.) The title is Ravenous. Oops. Forgot that part.

Ravenous Those who come back from the Realm, if they come back, are changed. That is why children are taught to never go near a Ring and to never listen to what the Rings whisper. Some return haunted. Others, for reasons unknown, come back seemingly untouched, with the magic of the Realm at their disposal. The peculiari, as these few are called, can venture to and from the Realm without consequence, but are tolerated at best, feared at worst, for being as potentially monstruous as anything else that dwells there. Nicodemus has never stepped into a Ring. As an asterion, an unwanted child of the Realm, some might expect him to, but, for the most part, he is content to keep house for the peculiari of the Arawn Agency and rarely ventures outside of the manor they all call home. Asterion are also thought of as monsters, and Nicodemus, human in appearance except for the ram’s horns growing from his head, prefers the company of those who do not judge him. There’s just one little problem. One awkward, inconvenient, twice-a-year problem in which Nicodemus goes into what can humiliatingly only be called a rut. It’s a secret he keeps from the others. But this year, unable to stand the thought of spending his rut alone, he ventures into town in search of company—only to run into a familiar face. One of the Arawn Agency peculiari, Bel is powerful and fearsome enough to make even other peculiari wary, and far more experienced than Nicodemus in the ways of the world. But tonight, raffish, licentious Bel isn’t out seeking pleasure. He’s on the hunt for a creature that has slithered out of the Realm to hurt people, a true monster. According to Bel, the Realm lures people who want, and sheltered, lonely Nicodemus, with his rut approaching, is nothing but want. If he can’t get Nicodemus to safety, the best way for anyone to stay protected from the temptations of the Realm is to indulge themselves enough to make their wants manageable. But, alone with Bel for the first time, Nicodemus starts to wonder why it is that Bel understands the appetites of a monster so well, and what it is that Bel wants, and if perhaps Nicodemus should follow Bel’s advice and indulge some desires of his own.

...It sounds sexier than it is probably. One of the things that is good (more readers) is sometimes worrisome to me because readers who are used to me sort of know what to expect, and newer readers… well… do not and are often not happy. But then, to quote peepeethecat, I Amn just…….. a litle creacher. Thatse it. I Canot change  this. After Ravenous, and the Familiar Spirits paperback being out, I go back to the big thing, *fingers crossed* and maybe, maaaaybe, a smol charity thing in December. But that really all depends on my brain. (Oh also, I was gonna do a Patreon thing for patrons this year but this year has been… this year. So it will likely be January or February next year. It’s a small thing but I’m gonna do it, I swear!)

See you in December, probably! Stay safe!

#r. cooper #queer romance #the newsletters #you can also just visit my website for updates that are succinct if you like #riscooper dot com