#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thisisnour-blog · 6 years

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hello everyone! i am red and my life got a little crazy around acceptance and opening time, and i also lost my log in details, which is why i am so late to the party. i promise, i am normally more organised. anyway, here we go:

NOUR THABET is a TWENTY-TWO year old CRIMINOLOGY STUDENT AT MORRIGAN COLLEGE. she identifies as CISFEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns. she is the daughter of a TUNESIAN man and a SWEDISH woman. she is HOMOSEXUAL and HOMOROMANTIC, as well as SINGLE. she looks a lot like IMAN MESKINI.

LIKE THIS INTRO AND I WILL COME FLOATING IN YOUR DM’S. IT’S LIKE MAGIC. TW: ARRANGED MARRIAGE (MENTIONED), INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA (MENTIONED)

WHAT IS NOUR LIKE?

nour is not a happy person, though you wouldn’t say so if you saw her in your day to day life. she is always smiling, happy to help and seems pretty confident in herself, who she is and where she wants to go with her life. she is a feminist and while she doesn’t shout it from the rooftops, she won’t let sexism pass without commenting on it. she is very vocal about her faith, however and is very public about the fact that she is muslim, not only by wearing the hijab but also just by her whole being. she will thank God before eating, she will say the mandatory praise after mentioning allah or his prophets and is always happy to talk about islam. she also studies criminology and is planning to go on and get her master’s degree. she seems to be very comfortable with herself and seems to be thriving but to be honest, that is all a front.

she has parents who care for her, siblings who are really supportive… but she can’t live up to their standards. they don’t know that - because nour is very good at pretending to be the good daughter - but she feel trapped in between the expectations placed on a muslim girl and who she is, what she wants to do with her life.

nour is gay and she has known that since she was twelve. it’s a hard thing to come to terms with when being gay is one of the worst things one can be, at least in her home and her community. for ten years now, she has prayed to wake up and have her deviant thoughts and feelings be gone but that hasn’t worked. it is terrifying, especially because she overheard a conversation between her parents. they think that it’s time, now that she is almost done with her bachelor studies, that nour gets married and focusses on having a family. apparently, they know just the right man. they wouldn’t force her to marry him, she could refuse but they’d expect her to suggest someone. she knows that soon, she’ll have two options: marry a good, muslim man and know that she can never be attracted to him or have any romantic feelings towards him or come out and potentially lose her family and her faith community. she is caught between a rock and a hard place. she also wants to go on and get her master’s, not be a wife and a mother and especially not to a man.

that prospect of marriage and the fact that she wants to be herself, but also wished she could change at the same, the feeling that her desires are wrong, had led to inner turmoil and unrest. unrest that results in sleepless nights. it is then that she feels most trapped, in a house with people she loves but has to lie to, in a room that she finds too small and a stifling darkness that seems to press down on her chest. it is then that she needs to get out, and she goes wandering around the city. she loves the night and it doesn’t scare her. it calms her. it gives her the feeling that she could just leave, go do whatever she wanted and no one would even notice under the cloak of the darkness. she never does though. she always returns home, to her bed, to that stifling room.

WHAT ARE THEIR THOUGHTS ON REMI HEATH, AND HIS MURDER?

she doesn’t know him very well and certainly isn’t rejoicing at his death. in fact, she feels quite guilty. on one of her night strolls, she saw him arguing with someone but can’t for the life of her remember who it was or even what they looked like. she didn’t look for long, never really keen on getting into trouble and when people faught, she didn’t get in between that. she didn’t know how it was going to end and if her parents found out that she snuck out, they’d make all kinds of assumptions about boys and partying and all of that. she just hadn’t been in a position to really stick around, but still, now that she knows what happened after that moment, she wishes she’d done something or at least remembered whom he was fighting with.

THREE HEADCANONS

she has a sweet tooth that is out of this world. she will eat anything that has sugar and a lot of calories.

she loves to wear matching underwear and when her bra and underwear don’t match, she actually feels uncomfortable all day.

she is a registered democrat but is more of a supporter of bernie sanders and people who think along the lines of him. that is something that her parents would be very upset about if they knew, not because of his views but because of his religion which is something that nour absolutely despises.

she is twenty-two and almost done with her bachelor studies. the reason it took so long is because she started her studies when she was nineteen because she had to re-do the first grade, as she just wasn’t up to speed with the other kids.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

think that someone that she moraly has an issue with would be interesting because she doesn’t want to make anyone feel bad, but has a hard time not telling people that what they’re doing is potentially harmful or even offensive to her. i think that it could be interesting to see her be called out on being kind of judgemental sometimes and her dealing with that.

someone whom she has a reciprocal friendship with. maybe someone who makes her feel comfortable talking about her sexuality, as well as her other doubts and fears. maybe this could be someone she meets on the street, whom she doesn’t really know and just in the moment, tells her secret too. someone she just needed to say it to and then expected for them not to know who she was and never see them again. then, she sees them in the light of day and panics. they calm her down and from then on, they build a friendship where she helps them out too. maybe spiritually or just is someone who listens.

look, nour really doesn’t need to have a romantic arc but it would be so amazing to explore. so, someone she is crushing on would be amazing to have in the game. when she tells her she is risking quite a lot and then the aftermath could go in all different kinds of directions. either they feel the same, or it’s unrequited and awkward afterwards or they even use it against her. all of those options seem very interesting to explore.

i’d love for her to get involved with the search for the killer. maybe she goes to the nancy drew or the reporter to say what she saw and so, gets sucked into trying to find out who did it.

#lhq:intro

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