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festeringneondistraction · 1 year

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I'm starting my new job for real tomorrow and i'm so anxious.

So after months of unemployment i finally got a job. Well its technically not a job it more like paid community service. Its called Mandy's Farm and its part of the Americorps program, I am serving as a part of the Vamos program. We provide employment services and adult skills training to developmentally disabled people between 14-25 years old. Plenty of other things but I suggest a google to get the full picture.

For context I am 19 years old and have a background in daycare and special needs students, more importantly I am AuDHD and disabled as well. I've come into this field because of a deep desire to help my people and other community members. I crave advocacy, I've always wanted to feel like i'm actually helping people, I want to be in the trenches. So far everyone is super accommodating and nice so i really don't have anything to worry about. I'm just meeting a lot of people in person who have heard a lot about me presumably and that is really anxiety provoking. What about the students? They seem super nice but im still really worried about people not liking me. Plus there are likely disabilities that I have yet to encounter that I will have to adjust to and learn about which isn't a bad thing at all that's fine. But what if I mess up?? What if I get overstimulated and shy?

This is definitely a step up the professional ladder for me which is unnatural. I was prepared to go back to Joann's or worse. I'm still super broke but I can already tell that i'm going to be so much happier. I hope I can get along with everyone, people think i'm knowledgeable which in my opinion is quite a high compliment. Weirdly enough my daycare experience already appears to be more relevant than I thought same thing with my performing arts school background. I hope there are people that I can relate to and that relate to me. Currently i'm just listening to Death cab for Cutie and a Cewpins Vod (highly recommend if you smoke at all!!) because after training I was just totally wiped and got home and did my routine.

We had to go to home depot to get a replacement toilet handle because you gotta love cheap apartments. :)

Get home (BF does the toilet because im wiped out).

Immediately do a hugeeeee afterwork dab.

Chill high as fuck for a bit.

Order food reluctantly.

Wait for than eat the food.

Try to stay up.

Fail.

Pass out in an unnatural position with lights on and everything.

Have random sex because fuck it lol.

Sleep part 2.

Wake up.

Computer at like 1:15 am

Get your stimulation of choice.

Dab again.

Get anxious then hop on tumblr to vent.

So that's pretty much it. Jacob is still asleep. He's still frustrated and depressed understandably so but the difference is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and he cant seem to yet, I guess it feels a little closer for me... Things have been really hard lately,,, our guinea pig Boston died a few days ago.. We haven't been able to bury him yet so he's just in our freezer... Which sucks because I don't cook really so I cant use my freezer so like pretty much all my food. I would like to get some closure. He's definitely still haunting me.

My only IRL friend I live near has Covid and her whole family including her 1 year old daughter is sick.. I just got over Covid and it sucks ass. She said she got it from work but its fucking everywhere again where i'm at so who even knows.

I also cant find my goddamn wallet!! I have google pay and everything but i still need my damn wallet!! Im frustrated because this is the seccound important wallet I have not been able to to find and i cant get fucked over again. If any witches have some lost object spells or tips id genuinely appreciate it i'm pretty desperate.

I have a feeling this new job is definitely going to keep me busy, Another huge advantage is when I finish my service I get an education award that can go to past of future collage payments. I could attempt to start collage... god who knows I still cant drive I still can only manage 6th grade math. I wish that I was competent at math i never have been.

I say 6th grade roughly it could be better but it is likely even worse than i think it is. I have serve trauma relating to a math teacher I had in middle school and then highschool. It goes back even farther because you know how undiagnosed learning disabilities are. The school had to intervene because he was my only option for a math class. Long story short I ended up getting a free math credit in 8th grade where during the period id just sit in the deans office and use it as a "study hall". Listened to some great music in that "class" i was often productive but not in the ways that people wanted me to lol.

I'm debating hoping on some Khan academy or something just because i resent math so hard I need to conquer it. Plus if I'm planning on college (which I am) I want to be ready for gen eds. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my brain is scrambled i just want my ebt card bro. Im outta fooddddd. I miss money, Is it time to talk to rich art school friend?? Is that unethical?? Alan if youre reading this id appreciate whatever is possible <3 ( kidding not kiddingggg)

#audhd #autism post #community service #disability #developmental disabilities #money help #im so broke #music is nice #weed #dabs #anxiety #death cab for cutie #animal death

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sharksa-shivers · 7 months

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TW: Blood, stabwound, anxiety, panic attack feels

(So idk full context really, i just have this idea where Sharky and Kristy are stuck in a dark area, probably underground, and Sharky's dealing with a really bad chest wound (probably got stabbed somehow) and all ya need is they're stuck, Kristy's freaking out and Sharky's in pain but trying his best.)

(We see them both walking, Kristy helping to keep Sharky up but Sharky's getting tired from blood loss and eventually has to drop down and rest. We see Kristy help him slouch down against the wall, both of them stopping to finally examine the wound.)

Kristy:(she sees the blood seeping out from Sharky's fingers, looks up at him and sees him nod, her then proceeding to carefully move his hand and look at the wound, a bit freaked out, anxiety rising)………That looks so so deep, holy shitttttt…

Sharky:(staying as calm as he can, having learned that from Max, in pain but seems he's got somewhat used to the pain by this point, covering the wound back with his hand and applying pressure, tired sounding)Yeahhhhh, it feels like it… Surprised it doesn't hurt more honestly, i thought for sure it went through my lung at first so uhhhh…Good it didn't hit that huh?! Haha!!

Kristy:(we see her kinda spacing out, that static anxiety building up as she looks at the blood on his hand, dripping down his clothes and body and then looking down at her own hand now to see blood on it…And Kristy kinda snaps a bit internally, standing up and walking away a bit for a moment, sliding her fingers in her hair and grasping at the top of her head)………….

Sharky:(he doesn't really see Kristy's emotions or anything, he just sees her get up and move away, still trying to keep the mood light, joking a bit)Hey, where ya goin? Kinda would be nice to maybe have a bit of first aid here heh…….

Kristy:(his voice snaps her out of her stupor somewhat, panic in her tone)…..Huh? Sharky:(playing still, not registering that there's an issue, joking)Nah nah, i get it…I'm a big guy, i can probably bleed out a bit longer without any major issues hehe, i get it, it's cool…

Kristy:(autism igniting with the panic, thinking Sharky's serious, she snaps at him, scared and worried sick)DON'T SAY THAT!!!! I'D NEVER NEGLECT YOU LIKE THAT!!!! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!?! I-

Sharky:(immediately backing up at her reaction, instantly realizes she's upset, quickly, worried for her also)Kris!! I was joking!!! Please, i know you wouldn't!!!!

Kristy:(upset, tears starting up)Why would you say that then?!?! You really think i'd let you just bleed out??

Sharky:(worried, his eyes and voice filled with concern)No! Of course not!! I just……..Look, bad joke, bad taste, not the right time, i'm sorry…I thought i was lightening the mood…

Kristy:(approaches Sharky, kneeling down next to him again, worried)…..I'm sorry too, i just……..I'm scared as fuck for you and i don't know what to really do!! That's so so much blood!!!

Sharky:(trying to calm her down somewhat, sitting up a small bit, adjusting himself)If it makes anything better, i think it's stopped…Somewhat…I've been holding as much pressure as i've been able to on it and i've been trying to stay calm, Max does know what he's talking about sometimes…

Kristy:(she sits a moment, calming down some)……I hope so, i- (lights up after a moment, quickly getting her phone out)Wait, Max!!! He'd be able to handle this better then me!!! Pleaseeeee let me have a crumb of service!!! --------------- Sharky, dude, you should know better then to stay stuff like that whenever Kristy gets in that kinda mindset, seriously lmao...Save the jokes for whenever you're hurt around Max instead, smh...

#kidnappedseries #kidnappedseries dialog stuff

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batgurl1989 · 3 years

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A Wolf In Toussaint Chapter Three

Summary: After being summoned by the Duchess, you and Geralt head to the Palace of Beauclair with some trouble on the road.

Word Count: 2120

Warnings: spoilers for the Blood and Wine DLC

A/N: I know this is so soon after the last chapter, but I was too excited not to post it. Taglist is open, requests are open.

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

Taglist: @rmtndew @henrynerdfan @princesssterek @seanh-boredom @djinny-djin-djin @diegos-butt @cynic-spirit @daddys-littlewhitegirl

"Younin! Watch out!" Geralt growled a warning at you as you dodged a stream of caustic acid an Archespore shot at you. Where Igni hadn't scorched the ground, the large plant-like monsters' poison had. Geralt slashed at one of the large plants, trying to sever it's head.

You tried to stay to the edges of the battle zone, drawing on the smoldering embers for power as you kept fire shooting from one hand at the plants. You didn't have any silver weapons on you, which would have to be remedied as soon as possible. You knew Geralt was worried about you, and that was causing him to be distracted. It had only been a few days since you woke up, and this was the first time you had had to fight since the bandits on your way to Novigrad. You knew it was a risk to draw on the fire, as it was the hardest element to control, and the chaos was weakening you at an alarming rate. But right now, you didn't need to control where it went as long as you aimed wide of where Geralt was.

"It's multiplying!" You called out over the din of the fighting. Buds were springing from the ground. Though these weren't full blown monsters yet, the vibrations of the fire and the fighting were agitating them. One burst close to you, spitting acid in all directions. A droplet landed on your boot, sizzling as it ate through the leather. "Shit!"

Geralt was by your side in a flash, pulling your boot off before the acid could make it to your skin. His eyes met yours for the briefest of moments, concern and something else flashing in the golden depths. You nodded that you were alright, and he was gone again. He swung his heavy silver sword deftly into the monster, his energy seeming to have jolted back to full now that you had come close to being hurt.

Turning your attention to the buds, you carefully stepped further back, out of range of any shooting poison. With your boot off, the rocky ground bit into your sole, but you couldn't think about that now. As long as you avoided the acid pools, you could handle it. Eyeing up the buds that seemed ready to burst, you unleashed a stream of fire, using all your concentration to aim true. The blooming plants burst into fire, sizzling as they wilted to the ground, their poison remaining inside and lighting up with the petals.

Your head snapped around when you heard hissing and squealing. Geralt had slashed through the bud that served as the monster's head, ending the monster's life, and stopping it from creating more buds. He carefully wiped his blade off before returning it to it's sheath alongside his steel blade.

With laser-like focus, he stormed over to you, his hungry eyes raking over your body in such a way that your breath caught in your suddenly dry throat. The tip of your tongue darted out to wet your lips, his eyes tracking the motion like a starving animal. You heard a low rumble deep in his chest, and it set all your nerves on fire, ready for him.

When he reached you, he pulled you roughly into his arms, his mouth covering yours with such force your teeth clacked against his. A long low moan escaped you as you pressed against him, desperate to get closer. The adrenaline from the battle still coursed through both your veins, and it needed an outlet. His hands spanned your back, pressing you tightly against his armour, his fingers gripping the linen shirt you wore for the road. You clutched the grooves of his armour, standing on your toes to kiss him deeper, your tongue delving into his mouth to tangle with his own.

His hands travelled lower, gripping your arse before he lifted you off the ground. Instinctively you wrapped your leather bound legs around his waist, your arms going around his neck to steady yourself. With one arm banded under your legs, his free hand dove into your hair, pulling it free of the ponytail you had tossed it into. Your red hair caught in the breeze, fluttering around both your heads in a curtain of fire, blocking out the world.

You pulled away when breathing became a necessity, resting your forehead on his. His golden eyes searched yours, but you didn't know what he was looking for. You breathed deeply his scent, the adrenaline leaving your system, and your nerves calming. This man drove you wild and seemed to centre you. It was a complete whiplash effect, and had your head spinning, but you wouldn't give it up for anything.

"I suppose we should find the horses?" You whispered, not wanting to destroy the mood of your little world. Geralt chuckled softly, before kissing you all too briefly one last time. Slowly, he let you slide down his body until you were on solid ground again. As your foot hit the rocky ground, you remembered you only had one boot on. "I don't suppose you packed extra boots in my size?"

"Sorry, it was a vast oversight on my part." Geralt shook his head, going to retrieve your boot. He examined it quickly to make sure there was no acidic poison left on it, and to make sure the hole hadn't ruined the integrity of the boot. "You should be able to wear it until we get to the city. I promise to buy you a new pair."

"You don't have to do that. I can buy my own." You blushed as you sat on a nearby log to pull your boot back on. The hole wasn't any larger than the size of your pinky nail, and as long as it didn't rain, you would make it to the city. "Could we also stop by a blacksmith, and see about getting me a silver sword or at least a dagger?"

"Of course." Geralt nodded, offering you a hand to help you up once your boot was laced again. You took his rough hand, but didn't let go once you were vertical. He raised his eyebrows at you, but a small smile played at his lips, and his grip tightened around your fingers. "But first, horses."

It didn't take you long to find the horses. They had run off at the first sound of trouble, but these were Toussaint horses, and were used to being ridden into battle, so they hadn't gone far. They were munching grass as though bored, which you couldn't help but laugh at.

"Dandelion is bringing Roach and Marabelle when he comes down. He sent a letter while you were sleeping." Geralt explained once you were back on the road to the Palace of Beauclair.

"So the King let him go?" You were surprised that you hadn't been worried about it until now. Sure you had been busy being captured and then healing and regaining your strength, but your friend's well-being should have come to mind before now. You mentally kicked yourself for being so selfish. "Do we know yet what went wrong?"

"From what Yen could figure out from her sources, the King of Beggars is either working for someone who wants you and he was delivering you to him, or he was trying to get you away from the person who wants you." Geralt fought hard but ultimately failed to keep the edge off his tone. You weren't the only one jealous of an ex. "One day, you will have to tell me what he means to you."

"If that's what you really want." You had nothing to hide, and if Geralt needed to know for his own peace of mind, you wouldn't keep that from him.

"I'm not sure that it is." Geralt grumbled, adjusting the reins in his hands. "But it might be something that can give us a clue as to what just went down."

"Perhaps when we get back from the Palace, we will have time." You nodded. You knew how hard it was to ask about an ex, and if Geralt wasn't sure he was ready yet, you weren't going to push it. The King meant literally nothing to you other than as a friend, but you weren't sure Geralt would believe that without hearing the rest of it. "So is there anything I need to know about the Duchess?"

"Other than she likes things done her way and quickly, not really." Geralt shrugged. To him, the Duchess was no different than any other client, other than she had the army to back up her demands while farmers and villagers barely had the coin to get his services in the first place. "She can run a little hot and cold, but that depends on how grave the job is. If there is no job, she is actually quite pleasant to be around."

"Oh?" You raised your eyebrow at the Witcher, your voice dripping with unimpressed sarcasm. Knowing him and his past, there was only one conclusion that jumped out at you after what he said.

"Not like that, I swear." Geralt laughed deeply, warmly, in a way you rarely ever heard. Then his face grew serious. "Her sister, however..."

"You're joking! You have to be!" You blinked a few times, trying to wrap your head around the fact that he slept with the Duchess's sister. You were pretty sure she was dead, but didn't know if Geralt had a hand in that or not. "Are you joking?"

"I don't kiss and tell." Geralt winked at you but remained silent. Frowning you tried to think of a way to get him to talk, but knew that once he set his mind to it, there wasn't much you could do to change it.

"Fine. Keep your secrets." You mock pouted, turning back to the road ahead. The palace and the sprawling city across the river from it had come into view, and it took your breath away with its beauty.

"Like nothing up North, isn't it?" Geralt commented, watching you take in the fairytale-esque scene in front of you. The towering palace with its spires and arching bridges. Tall trees and rooftop gardens painted the scene with every shade of green. The lake shone like a fiery sapphire as the sunlight reflected on its smooth surface.

"Definitely not." You couldn't tear your eyes from it as you continued to ride towards it. You didn't remember making the decision to kick your horse into a gallop, but sound the wind was whipping through your loose hair, pulling it behind you as you raced toward the city. Geralt kept pace with you, smiling as the joy inside you bubbled into laughter at the freedom you felt in that moment.

At the city gates, you slowed your horses. Unlike in Novigrad, the guards at the gate were mostly there to keep the peace. No one was checking papers, or questioning anyone about whether they were magical or not. Everyone was free to roam in and out of the city as they wished. The atmosphere was completely different than what you were used to, and you felt almost giddy about it.

As you rode through town, your head was constantly swiveling to take in the sights and sounds of the lively city. Artists advertised their skills and their work outside brightly lit shops. Bakers were rushing to keep up with the demand for their pastries. Florists boasted about the colours of their most recent blooms, ready to steal the hearts of those who received them. Fresh fish was brought in from the river, the catch of the day being shouted to draw in more customers. There were few street walkers and even fewer homeless people. The cobble streets were wide and clean, nothing like what you were used to in Velen.

Geralt watched you with an amused look, indulging you when you wanted to stop to watch a street performer either sing or dance. He handed you coins to give to them when the performance was finished as you clapped loudly. Your heart sang out in happiness that he was showing you this part of his world and his life. You could see yourself easily settling in at Corvo Bianco, making wine, traveling to the city when you wanted to take in some art and culture. You found yourself wondering if Geralt would ever retire from the Path, and settle down here for good. But you shooed that dark cloud away before it could rain on the brightness of your day. You didn't know what the Duchess wanted, and that was as much darkness as you wanted right now.

#geralt x reader #geralt x ofc #geralt of rivia fanfic #geralt fanfic #witcher fanfic #witcher fanfiction #henry cavill fanfiction

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