#I fell right back into my eating disorder this autumn at an alarming speed to the point where everyone else around me has noticed

[reptilequeen2000]

I’m so tired of the distance I’m so tired of the loneliness eating away at me

#I’m trying to be brave for us I swear #but it hurts so much #I was only able to do it before because I thought it would be the last time #my heart can’t take it #all I do now is wait and miss you #I can’t take care of myself I can’t eat I can’t get out of bed #I wonder if you’ll notice I’m still losing more weight #you didn’t notice before why would you now #I see you cringe slightly whenever you walk into my room and it’s a mess #you never say anything and I get it #but I wish you’d see me struggling and try to help instead of just not saying anything #please just do SOMETHING #I know you can’t just wait for people to notice and I should ask for for help when I need it #but for fucks sake I lost 20 pounds in a month and you said NOTHING #how do I get your attention #how do I get you to notice anything #I fell right back into my eating disorder this autumn at an alarming speed to the point where everyone else around me has noticed #if they didn’t notice I wasn’t eating they noticed how different I look #and you’re the only one who somehow didn’t notice until I told you they wanted to send me back to treatment if it continues to progress #I’m not blaming you for it but fuck you’re my boyfriend you should be the first to notice #you know I’m without a therapist right now too #I I feel like I have to beg for you to think of me #i know youre tired after work but I’m losing my mind over here #I felt less lonely when I was single this isn’t fair #things to talk to my therapist about