#but I wish you’d see me struggling and try to help instead of just not saying anything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

buckyalpine · 6 months

Text

Sub Bucky x reader

In my fucked up phase rn, That’s it, that’s the warning for this. Cause imagine behind closed doors, Bucky turns into a subby, babbling little baby for you, desperate for you to help get rid of that achy feeling between his legs, that special place you never let him play with.

“Baby boy” you purr, slinking over to the bed, your eyes raking up and down over his very naked body, his leaky cock making a mess all over his tummy. “Are you hard baby”

Bucky whimpered with a nod, squeezing his thighs together to give his balls some relief, gripping his cock tightly in his hand. He wanted to wait for you but he couldn’t, imagining you under the shower, water soaking your body, your delicious body wash covered in soapy bubbles. He tried to ignore the way the image made him leak but before he could stop himself, he’d thrown his clothes off to palm himself.

“Only naughty boys touch themselves baby, I told you, tell mommy to help you” You brushed your fingers through his soft locks, ignoring his needy pout, walking over to the bedside drawer and pulling out a silver chastity lock.

“What is it?” Bucky looked at your quizzically with wide puppy eyes, whining at the feeling of the cold metal touching his sensitive cock. He squirmed at the feeling, still trying to be good for you while you tapped his thigh to hold still.

“It’s to help you bubba” you coo, locking the cage in place, kissing his pouty face.

“Was I bad?” He looked down at his throbbing length, wishing he’d just waited for you instead just like you’d asked.

“Of course not baby, but I don’t want you hurting yourself, you gotta be gentle when you touch yourself there, right?”

“But-

“Shh, you’re my good boy, aren’t you?” You leave him high and dry, slinking off to the vanity and grabbing your body lotion, rubbing it between your palms before slathering it onto your skin.

It makes everything so much worse.

Imagine you find him whimpering and whining, playing himself through the cage, palming and tugging whatever he could touch. He lets out a frustrated huff, precum making his plush thighs sticky while start to lotion your breasts, smirking as you give them a squeeze making him nearly cry.

“What’s wrong baby”

“It’s too tight” Bucky whined, the head of his very pink cock and nearly bursting out with how hard he was. “Thingy is too big to fit, hurts mommy”

“Aww baby c’mhere” You decided to give into his neediness, your own cunt soaked and fluttering with how greedy and desperate he was. You took the key and unlocked the chastity cage, smirking at the whimper he let out, his cock instantly hard, the tip already wet.

“Mommy-

“Shh, you don’t want others to see how naughty you are baby” You grip the base of his cock, rolling his heavy balls in your hand, leaning over to flick your tongue over his slit making him moan, another spurt of precum dribbling out. “What have I said about your special place” You ask him softly while giving him long, languid strokes, loving the way his eyes roll back, trembling on the sheets.

“Only-only you can touch me”

“Good boy” You hum, jerking him off until he’s nearly in tears, making him hold it while you straddle him and impale yourself on his cock. He can barely control himself while you slam yourself up and down on him, struggling to keep his hips from moving, wanting to thrust up into you and cum for minutes on end.

“Fuck mommy!” He cries out, tears streaking his cheeks, pawing at your breasts as they bounce above his face, “I wanna cum, wanna cum so bad” Only you can make him lose it like this, only you’re allowed to make him feel good, all of his self-restraint slipping as you clench around him.

“Yeah baby? Wanna cum in mommy? Does your special place feel all tingly now?” you coo, reaching behind to tug his balls and his jaw falls open with he most guttural, primal moan he can muster, your hips riding him faster, “Go on sweet boy, you can cum, let mommy take care of that achy feeling baby, make yourself feel good”

He wails with pleasure as he starts to thrust up, only getting in two sloppy strokes before emptying himself in you, his cream covering his shaft and balls, dripping down his ass and onto the bed.

I’m driving myself feral with what would happen you caught him masturbating. He held off as long as he could, but he can’t get rid of the feeling and he needs to take care of it right now. He doesn’t care that you caught him while he was tugging at himself, one hand cupping his balls, pulling and palming them while the other strokes his cock. You shook your head disapprovingly but he can’t stop.

“But it was so hard mama” He pouts, spreading his legs further to show you, “See?” He bucks his hips up slightly for emphasis, giving you a shameless view of his heavy cock and balls and cute perky ass, “S’too full”

Just imagine his soft little squeals of pleasure when he lets go of all restrains and rubs himself all over your bed. His face is buried in your pillow, all clothes on the floor, his hips rolling and grinding on the mattress. He can only take so much, eventually shoving the pillow between his legs, humping himself like a puppy in heat till its soaked with cum. He loves how soft it feels on his dick, pressing it harder against him in different positions, his favorite being on his back while he holds it down and rubs himself on it.

He doesn’t stop until the sheets have to be changed.

“What did you do baby” You cocked an eyebrow, the scent of sex and his self pleasure making your body feel hot, ready to punish him until hes begging you to stop.

“I-I-” He struggles to meet your eye, caught with your pillow shoved between his legs, whining when you pull it again to reveal his spent cock, stick cum glistening all over his skin. “I didn’t mean to, my thingy had too much cum mommy”

“Aww, my baby’s special place was all tingly again?”

“So tingly, mommy, look” He spreads his legs for you again and it makes your belly clench each time. He was such a needy, horny little fuck, always ready to present himself to you, letting you play with his special place whenever you wanted. You coo at his apologetic pout, reaching over to give his soft cock a squeeze, loving the high pitched whine he lets out, now overly sensitive from his many orgasms. A steady dribble continues to weep from the tip and you lean over to take him in your mouth, making him shudder.

“Looks like you’re not empty yet baby” you continue to lick and tease him, milking him dry till there’s not a drop left-

I apologize but I did say this was my fucked up phase, so if you made it this far, this is on both of us.

1K notes · View notes

lightsoutletsgo · 2 months

Text

anxiety gremlin — op.81

pairing: oscar piastri x anxious!reader

word count: 3.5k

warnings: mentions of anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder, description of physical symptoms including; nausea, headaches, sweaty hands, stomach pains, brain fog, mental struggles, mentions of panic attacks but reader doesn’t experience one, mentions of food and making food related decisions. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!! hello loves! this one is very personal to me and it was a pretty selfish write tbh... I wasn't sure if I should post it but I decided to do it in the hopes that it brings people some comfort. Oscar's dialogue at the end is a message that I, as the author, want to remind you all. you've got this, even if it doesn't feel like it! happy reading love mimi

Sometimes, it felt as though the world was out to get you. You faced the world and your flight, fight or freeze instincts kicked in. When you woke up, it seemed like it was going to be one of those days. That unexplainable feeling of nausea turning your stomach and an unexplainable headache pulled at the back of your head. Your jaw tensed as the nausea hit you in another wave and you forced yourself to roll over and close your eyes. Maybe if you could get back to sleep you’d wake up feeling better. Your mind however, had other ideas. Instead, deciding to send you down the spiral of impending doom - a lovely gift first thing in the morning. Thoughts whizzed through your head; Why did you feel so nauseous? Why did your head hurt? Had you forgotten something? What were your plans for the day and was that why this horrible feeling was creeping up? You sat up, accepting that you wouldn’t be falling back asleep and decided to get ready for the day. Perhaps a shower would help? The warm water was soothing as it rushed over you and whether it was the heat or the steam or the fact you were doing something to distract yourself, for a moment you felt a little better. Exiting the shower you decided that while the nausea had subsided, it would be a good time to start hydrating and maybe think about eating something. Your phone rang and dragged you from your internal rambling, “Hi baby!” You smiled, despite the fact that your boyfriend couldn’t see you, “Good morning angel,” You could hear Oscar’s dopey lovesick grin through the phone, “how did you sleep?” You set him down on loudspeaker as you got dressed, “I slept okay! How about you?” “I would have slept better if you didn’t keep stealing the blankets…” You gasped, “I do not!” Oscar laughed, “You absolutely do! One night I’m going to record you for evidence.” You giggled, “You do that baby.” Oscar nodded then realised you couldn’t see him, “I’m just calling to find out what you want for breakfast? I figured I’d stop off at that little cafe that you like on my way home.” You gulped, you had no clue what you wanted or how to decide, “I’d love that, thank you handsome!” You thought frantically for a solution, “Uhh you can choose for me! I trust you!” There was a pause on the other end of the line, “Are you sure angel?” “Yup, mhm, so sure!” “O-okay…” After making Oscar promise to drive safely, you hung up.

You realised that for a moment while talking to Oscar, you hadn’t even thought about feeling anxious but it was as if that realisation had summoned the feeling back. All of a sudden your hands felt shaky and it was hard to focus on anything but the disconcerting feeling in your chest. Sitting down on the couch you did your best to control your breathing. Sometimes you wished that it would just turn into a panic attack and be done with. Anything would be better than this on-off-on-off situation. It was like feeling a sneeze that wouldn’t leave your body. Unsatisfying and unsettling.

The front door opening made you snap your head up and you realised that subconsciously you had been rubbing your hands on your sweatpants to try and get rid of the clammy feeling. You shook your head and smiled as Oscar walked through the door, you were just a little bit anxious, it was no big deal.

Oscar beamed at you as he entered the living room. He noticed that you seemed distracted and almost a little shifty. Your eyes kept darting around the room and your hands were absentmindedly picking at a loose thread on the hem of your t-shirt - a habit you usually despised because it had the potential to ruin your clothes. He said nothing, just walked through the room to the kitchen and placed down the paper bags filled with breakfast. “You okay there angel?” You nodded at him but it wasn’t enough to reassure him, “Are you sure?” You nodded once more, why now of all times were you feeling sick again? You sat there grinding your teeth together and clenched your jaw, feeling too sick to open your mouth and reply. You wanted to reply, you really did! But your brain had decided that words were a step too far. “Did you do something while I was out, hmm?” Oscar joked but all it did was make you more anxious, ‘was he angry?’, ‘was he going to shout at you?’, ‘breakup with you?’, “Come on troublemaker, you can tell me!-” “Nothing! Nothing happened! Now will you please stop asking.” You snapped, immediately clapping a hand across your mouth in shock before the tears were welling up in your eyes. “Oscar I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry baby I shouldn’t have snapped… Please don’t be angry!” You rambled a million miles an hour as your hands began rubbing and grabbing the material of your sweatpants again, not even realising your breathing had turned heavy and you were sweating. Oscar stood there in shock, he had never seen you like this before, was this because of him? He slowly approached you, not sure of the issue and not sure how to resolve it. “It’s okay angel, it’s okay” He held his hand out to you but you shook your head, talking through a clenched jaw in the hopes it would help the queasy feeling in your stomach, “Hands sweaty.” Oscar nodded, “Okay then, can I sit next to you?” You nodded, he gently took a seat next to you, careful not to jostle or jolt you, “Is this a medical emergency?” You shook your head, “do I need to call an ambulance?” You shook your head once more, feeling like you wanted to cry.

How embarrassing that you were having an episode like this in front of your boyfriend after hiding it so well for so long. And even more embarrassing that you couldn’t tell him what was going on let alone why you felt the way you did, “Is this a panic attack?” You shook your head no. Oscar made a little ‘oh’ and sat quietly next to you, unsure of what to say or do. You took a deep breath and forced yourself to open your mouth, despite how heavy your tongue felt. “I’m just a bit anxious.” “What about?” You shrugged, “Nothing. Everything. Hard to explain.” Oscar smiled at you through your one word answers and short sentences, “Well I can wait, it’s okay.” You nodded, hands starting to tingle with how long you’d been rubbing them against fabric and you winced as a sudden cramping feeling started in your stomach. Oscar seemed to notice your discomfort, “Please let me hold your hand angel, I promise I don’t care if it’s sweaty and you think it’s gross, I just want to help okay?” You nodded, breathing deeply and letting him take your hand in his.

As soon as your hand was in his, his thumb was rubbing gentle circles over the back of your hand. A soothing motion that you let your eyes focus on. Watching his hands and how they moved, anything to keep your attention off of the anxious feeling.

As he sat next to you Oscar wondered how he should approach you to talk about this. Clearly there was something you weren’t telling him. He thought he knew what it was and he understood why you hadn’t told him. He knew that people got anxious, hell he was always anxious before a race, but he also knew that for some people it went beyond unsettling feelings. He guessed that that’s what you were dealing with too. He’d seen Logan feeling like this a few times and so he wracked his brain to try and remember what the American had told him was useful. How about distraction? It was worth a shot! “Want to watch a film?” You nodded, eyes still laser focused on Oscar’s hands. “I knew you had a thing for my hands but you are allowed to blink you know.” He joked, cracking the smallest sound of an exhale of laughter from you, that was a start. “What film should we watch, hmm?” He grabbed the remote to start flicking through options, his hand never leaving yours, but aware that there was enough space between you so you didn’t feel smothered. “I think something cute and funny? Yes that’s a goooood plan Oscar.” You gave a weak smile once more as he talked to himself and he smiled at you, “how about Tangled?” You nodded and he selected the film, settling back into the couch, head looking at you once more, “Do you want to cuddle?” You shook your head and he just shrugged, wanting to keep you as comfortable as possible, “That’s okay, you just let me know when you do, okay?” You nodded and he squeezed your hand to comfort you, “Do you want to sit back on the couch?” Your body was still tightly wound and feeling like a live wire so you shook your head, physically unable to relax. And still all Oscar did was smile at you.

As the film started, you did your best to focus on it, finding yourself unable to stop smiling and releasing some of the tension in your shoulders at various points when your boyfriend spoke the lines along with the characters, with facial expressions. You watched on screen as Rapunzel and Flynn entered the Ugly Duckling Pub and you realised your body finally felt relaxed enough to sit back against the couch. Oscar silently breathed a sigh of relief, all he wanted to do was fix it for you but he knew that he could only do so much.

By the time the next song had finished, your body was subconsciously leaning against him. Your head rested on his shoulder and he gently tilted his head to rest on top of yours. You gave a little contented sigh. As you sat there, a wave of tiredness hit you, the physical symptoms and mental strain you’d been feeling since you woke up taking its toll. With Oscar’s warm body next to you and the comforting sounds of one of your favourite movies on screen, it wasn’t long before you felt your eyes beginning to slowly close. Oscar looked down at you and saw that your lashes had fluttered shut. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head and let his own eyes slip shut.

When you woke up a couple of hours later, the TV was off and you were laying on the couch with a soft blanket covering you. You sat up and sleepily rubbed your eyes, “Osc?” You heard low music drifting through the door to the kitchen and you could hear Oscar mumbling to himself and humming along, cursing occasionally when pots and pans clanged together. He poked his head out from the kitchen door, “There’s my pretty girl. Good morning angel.” He cooed at you and the way you blinked back at him sleepily. “What time is it?” “It’s lunchtime! I was just reheating breakfast.” You nodded, sitting up and pulling your knees up to your chest as he padded across the room to take a seat at the end of the couch by your feet, “I’m sorry.” Oscar’s eyes searched your face as you looked down at your hands in your lap. Oscar’s hand rested on your knee, “Angel, you never have to apologise for something like that…” He trailed off, hesitant to ask you his next question, “do you want to talk about it?” You inhaled slowly, nodding, “Yeah I think I would.” He gently nudged you with his elbow and you shifted back to let him sit in front of you, both of you sitting cross legged. He held his hands out to you and you took them with a shaky exhale.

“Umm… I’m not exactly sure how to explain it?” You admitted, your fingers playing with his own in an effort to keep yourself grounded as that familiar feeling of your shoulders tightening and nausea creeping up began to settle in. He followed your gaze, “That’s okay, we have all the time in the world. Explain it however you feel is easiest.” You nodded once more, “So obviously you noticed that I was feeling anxious,” He tilted his head to one side to show you he was listening as you continued, “That’s because I have generalised anxiety disorder. And the thing is… I feel like that most of the time.” You admitted shakily, desperately willing yourself not to cry. If Oscar was surprised or taken aback he didn’t show it, instead just linking your hand with his and squeezing, encouraged you continued,

“There are good days and there are bad days but I’m always anxious… There’s this constant feeling of underlying panic or anxiety or this sense of impending doom.” You looked up and noticed how Oscar’s eyes searched yours, willing you to understand that he wasn’t going anywhere, “I feel nauseous, I feel shaky, my hands get clammy, sometimes it’s like I forget how to breathe, my head and stomach hurt for no reason, my head goes fuzzy and it’s hard to focus on anything but the feeling of how anxious I am…” “Baby…” Oscar breathed, you gave him a watery smile, tears filling your lash line,

“It makes me irritable, it makes me bitchy, it makes me snap at people I love, it makes me sensitive and emotional, I cry a lot, I cancel plans at the last second, I keep to myself and I build my walls up…” You trailed off, meeting his gaze and noticing that his eyes were filling with tears too, “Sometimes it feels like I’m two people. Me and my anxiety.” You couldn’t help the way the tears fell with a choked sob, “Angel, can I please please give you a hug?” Oscar pleaded, itching to pull you into his arms and comfort you.

You nodded through your sobs, finally feeling the huge emotional release that had been building since you’d woken up. He reached for you, gently grabbing your arms and pulling you forward onto him. Falling back against the arm of the couch with you against his chest as you both stretched your legs out. He held you for what felt like forever, tightly wrapping his arms around you and stroking your hair, gently murmuring to you and kissing your forehead. When your sobs had subsided a little, he wiped your cheeks, “My sweet girl…” He gently pressed kisses across your face, relishing in the way your crying eased and you let out a little sigh after each one, “Thank you so much for telling me angel.” He paused, “Can I ask why you didn’t tell me before?” He asked gently. You sighed, fisting his t-shirt in your hand as you fought the nervous feeling that made your stomach flip. His hand rubbed up and down your back in a soothing motion as he felt you tense up in his arms, “I’m not mad at you baby, I just want to know what I can do differently in the future. I’d hate it if you didn’t feel safe enough to come to me for help.” You nodded, nuzzling into his chest, attempting to block out the world and focus on Oscar. Just Oscar.

“Everyone I’ve told has left…” You mumbled sadly, “Hmmm?” His voice was soft, like he didn’t want to scare you out of answering, “I told a few people growing up, uni friends and stuff, and they would always answer with the usual ‘oh yeah I feel anxious too’... Until I explained I had diagnosed anxiety disorder and then,” you sighed, “then they would tell me it was too much for them to deal with, or they would get mad at me for ruining plans, or tell me to just get over it when I tried to talk to them about it.” Oscar’s hold on you tightened a little as he felt a spark of anger burn inside him. How dare they? Anyone could see that you were trying your best, he gave you his full attention as you continued, “I guess all of those things mean that I have a hard time opening up and trusting people with the knowledge of my diagnosis because it’s always backfired… Please don’t be mad at me… I do trust you, I just…” “Hey,” Oscar’s voice was low to ensure he didn’t trigger you, “I’m not mad or disappointed at you baby, I’m frustrated with myself for not noticing sooner.” “I’m pretty good at hiding it,” you admitted, the two of you led there in silence for a moment before Oscar spoke again, “Well I’m beyond proud of you. For dealing with it everyday and for opening up to me.” You tilted your head up to look at him and pressed a soft kiss to his jawline, “Thank you for listening.” He smiled back down at you, “Of course.”

You summoned up the courage to ask him the question that had been on your mind for a little while, “H-how did you know how to help?” Oscar breathed deeply for a second, “There’s someone on the grid who uhhh, struggles with the same thing. They’ve opened up to me and explained what helps them so I figured I’d try?” You pushed yourself up to look at him in surprise, “Someone on the grid?” Oscar nodded, “I won’t say who, because it’s their thing to disclose and explain,” You nodded, “Of course!” “But they’re doing their best to work on things and ask for help and they’ve been doing really well.” Oscar made a mental note to ask Logan if he would consider talking to you. “Well, Tangled was a great choice!” You giggled as Oscar nuzzled his nose into your neck, “Yeah? I wanted to pick something that wouldn’t make you feel worse.” You couldn’t help the way you threw your arms around him and cuddled into him, so thankful for him and the thought and care he gave to you. “I love you.” It was muffled against his chest but he knew what you wanted to say and so with a chuckle he kissed the top of your head, “I love you too, angel.”

You stayed there for a moment before he was gently pushing you to sit up so he could look into your eyes, “I want to say something.” He hesitated and you nodded at him to continue. He gently held your chin with one hand, keeping you looking at him as his other hand found yours in your lap, linking his fingers with yours and squeezing, despite the way your hands were starting to get a little clammy again, “You may have anxiety disorder but it’s not who you are, baby.” Your eyes widened, he continued, “You are not your diagnosis. There is so much more to you than that. You are kind and caring, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re creative.” Your heart melted at how passionately he was speaking. “You’re loved and valued by me and so many others, angel… I love you, the anxiety gremlin that comes with you and all.” You giggled at how he referred to it, “Anxiety gremlin… I like it!” He smiled, kissing your nose, you scrunched it up and he kept talking, “I know I can’t fix it and make it go away, believe me baby I wish that I could. But I promise that I’ll be here through all the bad days and the good days. I’ll do everything I can to make it easier and more bearable for you.”

You couldn’t help the way you started crying again, happy tears this time, Oscar’s thumb gently wiping them away, “So when you’re feeling up to it, we’re gonna sit down and talk about how I can help. What I can do when you’re having a bad day, the things we can do together, how you like to be distracted, how I can help when we’re out in public, maybe a codeword?-” You giggled as he started speaking faster and faster, you stopped his rambling with a soft kiss, pressing your lips to his, your hand cupping his face, thumb rubbing over his cheek, “That sounds perfect baby, thank you.” Oscar kissed you once more, pulling you into him, “You just let me know when you’re ready.” You nodded, “I will, I promise.” “Good! But for now, we still need to eat our breakfast!”

#mimi.writes #tw anxiety #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 fic #f1 angst #f1 fluff #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fic #oscar piastri angst #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri oneshot #f1 oneshot

434 notes · View notes

daisyvisions · 3 months

Text

Change Your Mind - (l.jy)

➺ Pairing: fboy best friend!Juyeon x afab!reader

➺ Summary: You befriend your college’s resident fuckboy who’s been eager to get with you since day one. But after a rollercoaster of emotions between your friendship, he wants you more than you could ever imagine.

➺ Word Count: 4k (wow who is she?!)

➺ Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), friends to lovers, mentions of partying, drinking alcohol, fuckboy tendencies (flirting, hookups, ghosting), lying to reader (at first), lots of kissing and making out, dry humping, oral (f! receiving), slight handjob and masturbation, unprotected sex (but he pulls out), aftercare, pet names (sweetheart, baby), a lovesick Juyeon

➺ A/N: I’m officially back from my break! Really wanted to take some time off and focus on things irl, can’t really say if the break helped bcos I was still stressed haha but anyway!This took me a while to finish up, felt incredibly rusty writing again but glad I was still able to do it 😭 Considering this as my late birthday greeting for Juyeon. Hope you enjoy this piece! Proofread once. Let me know if I missed anything!

➺ Network & Tag: @deoboyznet, and my girlies @aimeecarreros @snowflakewhispers @winterchimez

If anyone told you that you’d end up becoming best friends with one of the most sought out guys in your campus (and not to mention resident fuck boy), you would’ve laughed at their face. All your life you’ve tried to avoid befriending guys like Juyeon. A guy like him just generally gave you the ick.

You never understood how or why people would want to be friends with someone whose only objective is to get into girl’s pants and be praised for it. Not only that, but also playing with someone’s feelings and just dropping them at an instant was wrong on so many levels.

But here you are, lending him a helping hand while you two clean out his living room after throwing yet another one of his bi-weekly parties, which was usually code for “Please let me at least make out with someone tonight.”

It’s crazy how you consider him one of your bestest friends. In another world you both knew this friendship would never work out. You were both opposite of each other in so many ways!

So how did you even end up becoming friends with Juyeon?

Transferring to a different university in the middle of the semester was one of the worst things that could've happened to you. Not only did you have to adjust to a new set of lesson plans and navigate your way around campus, but you also had to sit alone during lunch since practically everyone already knew each other from freshman year and had their own set of cliques.

During your first week, you thought you could at least find a table you could sit with just by going up to the group you vibed with the most and ask politely. But you decided to just sit by yourself instead and avoid any embarrassing introductions. You refused to be known as the weird new girl (which you already felt like one to begin with.)

You tried to fight off the tears emerging from the corners of your eyes as you sat quietly in the corner of the cafeteria, slowly poking the food on your tray as you try to drown out the noise around you.

You wish you didn’t have to transfer and leave everything and everyone you knew behind. Yes, you can still call or text your friends, but you knew it was different than actually being with them on campus.

You were convinced you’d be alone for the rest of your years in college. No friends to hang out, laugh, or cry with. No one to go through the same struggles as you. No one to tell you that everything was going to be okay. You were definitely on your own until-

“Hey.” The voice suddenly snapping you out of your self-loathing as you look up and see probably one of the most handsome men you have ever seen in your life.

The way his eyes held so much love, how his smile could light up anyone’s day, and how his aura was something you never felt with anyone before. He was practically radiating sunshine to your already gloomy day. It almost felt too good to be true… Because what the hell was he doing here in front of you?

“…Hi?” You sit up straight as you try to subtly dab off the tears in your eyes.

“I couldn't help but notice you sitting here all alone.” The man gently says.

Great, the first thing he notices about you is how much of a loser you are. But before you could even say anything back he continues on.

“Would you like to come sit with us? We have some space for you at our table.” He slowly smiles at you. You hesitated at first, confused by the whole situation but quickly made up your mind.

“Uh… yeah, sure! If it’s not any trouble.” You shyly respond.

“Of course not! Can’t let a pretty thing like you be all alone on her first week here right?” He holds out his hand to you.

“How did you-”

“I’m Juyeon.” He interrupts you again. You tell him your name, your cheeks slowly warming up as your hand intertwines with his as he looks deeply into your eyes.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He smirks. You felt the butterflies raging within your stomach.

“So, let’s go?” He waits for your response, but you shyly nod your head instead as proper words get caught up in your throat. Grabbing his hand as you stand up and follow his lead.

You try not to make a fool out of yourself as you feel Juyeon’s hand rest on your lower back as you guides you through the sea of people. As you two are walking towards his table he leans close to your ear and whispers,

“We’re gonna be best friends, I promise.”

And ever since that day Juyeon really did keep his promise. He helped you catch up with some of the lesson plans you had, guided you around school, and always made sure to leave a space for you beside him during lunch.

You tried to wrap your brain around the idea of how someone like Juyeon just randomly entered your life and swept you off your feet. At first you felt like you were on cloud nine getting the most attention and almost boyfriend-like treatment from him. But as the weeks went by you soon discover that his reputation actually preceded him more than you thought.

You see, it was no secret that Juyeon was somewhat of a playboy. Well, somewhat was an understatement. During the first few weeks since you became friends he would walk you to class almost every time. In those moments you couldn’t understand why people would give you such weird looks or whisper to each other whenever you two would pass by.

Maybe it was because you stuck out like a sore thumb as the new girl? You decided not to mind it for a while, pushing down the thought that you were just overthinking all of this… that is until you accidentally learned about his reputation and the real reason why he approached you that day.

It was an accident. You were never meant to find out anything about Juyeon. But during a party that he brought you to, a certain loosed-lip drunk friend (Eric) decided to spill everything to you, down to every letter and detail imaginable.

To be honest, it didn’t bother you when you found out that Juyeon was indeed a fuck boy. You saw the signs as the weeks passed by.

The way he would flirt with someone while waiting for you to finish class, how the notifications on his phone would show a name of a different girl every week, and even the subtle touches he would leave on you which were definitely not considered friendly but not perverted either. What bothered you the most was finding out the reason why he even wanted to be friends with you.

“He’s been really working up to have his way with you, you know? And I mean who could blame him? Have you seen yourself? You’re so fucking hot-” Eric rambles on to you as he tries to lean his body against the wall to keep himself upright, slowly inching his way closer to you. You felt your blood boil in that moment, completely ignoring Eric’s advances.

How could Juyeon do this to you? Even after everything you shared with him about your life, your struggles, your secrets too? And to think you were starting to feel like he could be a really great friend to you. But this? Hell no. You were not about to let some handsome sleazy guy use you like that. Not in this or any lifetime.

You nearly crush the plastic red cup in your hand before storming out of the house, intentionally pushing past Juyeon’s shoulder in the way as he tries to approach you with the most concerned look you had ever seen on his face.

He ran after you that night. He even dropped on his knees begging for forgiveness in front of a crowd of drunk college people too. Over the top sure, but somehow you knew his apology wasn’t just a one and done thing.

And after the humiliating lecture you gave him as well as the list of promises he had said he will be doing in order to make up for his mistakes, you decided to give him another chance.

In return of accepting his apology, you offered to help him get out of his fuck boy tendencies and be his “guardian angel”. Juyeon was reluctant of the idea at first because it would mean he couldn’t be free to do as he pleased but he eventually gave in. He had to because well… He did owe you a lot for lying to you in the first place.

Somewhere in your mind you knew this could turn out to be a bad idea. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me, or however the saying goes. But Juyeon was different.

You knew somewhere in that deep conceited mind of his there was a version of him that was actually a good guy. A guy that can actually learn how to not fool around and maybe one day, find someone worth changing for.

You can tell it was a struggle for him at the beginning. But eventually he started to lessen the flirting, the hookups, the ghosting, and more.

Gone were the days where Juyeon had a line of women wrapped around his fingers (because they were too many of them to count). Dating was still a thing for him, but he had said and even showed you that he would take them seriously and not just move onto the next one as easily as he did before.

Eventually you realized over time that Juyeon turning over a new leaf was also becoming a struggle for you especially at parties when he would come up to you nearly drunk out of his mind, his subconscious would revert back to his old habits and he would act them all out on you.

His hands subtly snaking around your hips, your waist, how he would brush the hair off your neck and leave a warm kiss on shoulder. The way he would smile at you like a lovesick fool, never leaving your side as he attempts to drop his corny pickup lines.

Or the way he would jokingly confess how badly he wanted to kiss you. You knew he wasn’t in the right state of mind, that he was just being his old self. But it really did confuse you because sometimes it felt all too real.

Now you understood why someone could fall so easily for Juyeon. It was second nature to him.

You tried so hard not to give into his appetite especially in those moments. But it was becoming difficult each time since you the crush you had on him from the first day you met was screaming to be set free, desperate to overtake your heart and soul and just allow him to do as he pleased, no matter the consequences.

The many “what-if’s” that crossed your mind when you were alone in your room at night had plagued you constantly. Your walls were starting to crack and it was making you lose your self control around him.

“Maybe one little kiss wouldn’t hu-” No. You shouldn’t. The whole point of staying friends with Juyeon was to guide him to being a better person. It wasn’t about you or how you felt at all!

But… how bad could it be to become selfish just one moment in your life?

“Wow, I’m so tired.” Juyeon plops down on the sofa as you finish up collecting all the empty bottles and cups around the room. After the last bottle was thrown inside the trash bag you washed your hands and plopped right next to him.

You instantly close your eyes and let out a huge sigh of relief, showing the same exhaustion as he felt. As you stay silent and enjoy this quiet moment, Juyeon can’t help but just stare at you. He watches how your chest slowly moves up and down and tries to commit to memory the little details of your face.

You look so beautiful right now, he thinks to himself. As you always have since the first time he saw you. But he pushes down the feeling deep within his gut, having given up pursuing you a while back. But it doesn't hurt to look every once in a while right?

As soon as you open your eyes again, you catch him staring at you with a look in his eyes you can’t quite read. You chuckle at how silly he’s being and turn your body slightly to face him.

“What?” You ask.

“I-It’s nothing.” He shakes his head.

“C’mon, what is it? You can tell me.” You semi pout, and how can Juyeon say no to you?

“I was thinking-”

“Oh no he’s thinking.” You fake gasp and giggle as he playfully nudges your shoulder in return.

“It’s just- I still can’t believe how we ended up as friends despite everything, you know?” He smiles gently.

“Me too.” You respond, “To be honest, if I had known about your reputation before we met I would’ve rejected you that day.”

“Yeah?” Juyeon’s eyes grow wider as he scoots closer to you. He places his hand on your knee, making you become nervous all of a sudden. “And why is that?”

“W-well…” you feel a lump forming in your throat, the way his cologne invades your thoughts and has your head slowly spinning. Is it getting hot in here or is that just you?

“Because, guys like you just aren’t my type that’s all. And well-”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Juyeon interrupts you as he looks into your eyes. You nod in response.

“I haven't been with anyone else ever since that night you confronted me about my behavior.” He pauses for a moment. Dead silence filled the air as he waited for your response while you tried to grasp what he was trying to say.

“Huh? What about that girl you were with last week? Or the one you were texting?” You softly ask.

“I... I lied about them.” Juyeon looks away from you, afraid to look at your reaction. He looks up at the ceiling, pushing down any regret he’s feeling at the moment admitting the truth to you.

“But, why?” Your voice laced with concern.

“It felt wrong to be with those girls. To even think about kissing or touching them the way I would've back then, because…” He looks back at you, his hand on your knee now traveling up to your lap.

“…All I ever thought about in those moments was you.”

You felt your heart running a mile a minute. Eyes widening at his sudden confession.

“God you’re so beautiful it kills me inside.” he raises his hand and cups your jaw, thumb slowly stroking your cheek as his gaze turns into something more than just lust.

You subtly catch him quickly looking at your lips, your eyes nearly fluttering shut as he leans in closer. And with your lips just millimeters apart, he suddenly stops.

“But who am I kidding? I know you don’t see me that way-” Juyeon retracts his head, his face expressing a certain kind of sadness you can’t seem to properly label. You can feel your heart pounding in your ears as you watch him slowly slip away from you.

“Juyeon I-”

“It’s alright, I’m probably drunk. Just- forget what I said.” He shakes his head, but before he can attempt to get up from the couch, you grab his wrist. “No.” You sternly say.

Juyeon slowly sits back down on the couch and scoots really close to you, thighs pressing against one another. His eyes don’t leave yours, waiting for what you have to say or do.

“S-show me. Show me you mean it. Every word you just said.”

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to tell me that.” Juyeon lunges forward and wastes no time as he leans in to kiss you. His pillowy lips feeling like heaven as he guides your lips with his, both melting into one another like it was always meant to be.

As your arms start to wrap around his neck Juyeon pulls you in closer, his body slowly falls backwards onto the couch. His hands desperately grabbing your hips to make you straddle his lap.

Juyeon whimpers into your mouth as soon as his straining bulge rubs against your core. His member throbs harder as you begin to roll your hips subconsciously.

He’s fucked way too many times to count but for some reason, grinding yourself onto his crotch makes him feel like an untouched virgin all over again.

He swears he can burst inside his boxers any second now if you keep doing this to him, especially with the soft little moans coming out of your mouth that sound so sweet.

Juyeon pulls away from your lips and starts to kiss your neck, mapping out his kisses until he finds the spot that makes you melt into a puddle. He knows he’s found that spot as your moans become louder and drag on longer.

He starts to wrap his arms around your torso and without warning, he flips you both over, making you squeal as he giggles at your reaction. His eager hands waste no time to unbutton your jeans as he continues to leave marks on your neck. You slightly push him away as you feel him slowly sneaking one hand into your pants.

“Wait-” You grab his wrist before he goes any further.

“Do you want to stop?” He waits for your answer.

“No it’s not that.” Your eyes close for a moment as you catch your breath.

“It’s- well- It’s been a while I've done this. I- I might not be good for you.” Juyeon senses the worry in your eyes. He leans down to kiss the space between your eyebrows, his free hand caressing your cheek.

“Oh sweetheart… you’ll always be too good for me.” He smiles down at you. “You sure you still want this?” You nod your head instantly.

“Use your words baby, need to hear you say it. Tell me what you want.” His hand travels to your neck and gives it a soft squeeze. The act alone is enough to get you dizzy again.

“Want you- want you to touch me, please.” You look up at him so innocently.

Juyeon leans in to kiss you passionately once more, his tongue immediately intertwining with yours. He helps you out of your pants in the process not wanting to pull his lips away from yours until he tugs the hem of your shift and lifts it off, leaving you wearing nothing but your underwear on.

His kisses start to travel oh so slowly from your lips all the way to your inner thighs. Juyeon can feel himself pre cumming at the deep inhale of your panty covered core. The wet patch luring him in to kiss it and practically mouth your covered folds.

You let out yet another ethereal moan as your fingers weave through his hair. His hands slowly pull the garter of your underwear down, throwing the damp material behind him as he continues on with his ministrations.

Juyeon wastes no time and grabs the back of your thighs and placing them over his shoulder, making sure that his face is locked onto your throbbing core. He kisses your folds before suddenly darting his warm wet tongue between them, reveling in the taste of you before flicking your sensitive bud. He looks up to watch your reactions, which motivate him to keep on going.

“P-please…” You whine as he hums and sucks on your clit. Juyeon doesn’t even need you to tell him what you want, by the sound of your moans and the way your thighs slowly squeeze his head he knows you’re getting closer to the edge.

He nearly lets go himself when you reach your high without warning, the sudden burst of your essence onto his lips as you moan out his name was something he never thought would feel so divine.

He pulls himself up and goes back to kissing you, tasting yourself on his tongue has your core throbbing for him once again. Your hands hastily helping him unbutton his own pants along with his boxers as he pulls them down and kicks them to the side.

Your mouth waters at the sight of his impressive length, your hand instantly wrapping around his member as you stroke him slowly. “Oh s-shit.” He growls into your ear.

“Want you inside me Juyeon, want you to fuck me.” You whisper in his ear. He grabs your wrist to stop, holding his own member as he aligns it with your entrance.

“Don’t want to fuck you-” He mumbles. You pull away from him, confused by his words. His other hand grabs the back of your neck as he pulls your face closer to his.

“-Want to make love to you.” He whispers into your mouth. And before you know it he’s pushing his entire cock inside you, bottoming out instantly. You both moan into each other’s mouths at the stretch. Juyeon moves his hips slowly as he starts to fuck you deeply, making sure you feel all of him going in and out of your pussy.

Juyeon wishes this moment could last forever, but the way your walls grip onto his member like a vice brings him closer to the edge faster than he had hoped. Especially with how you’re moaning into his mouth and wrapping your arms around his neck so tight? He was a goner.

He’s never fucked anyone like this before, and now he can’t imagine doing this with anyone else except you.

With every deep thrust, you feel yourself on the verge of cumming for the second time. Each stroke hitting that sweet spot in you has you reaching for the stars.

“Fuck Juyeon, you’re gonna make me cum again.” You whine as the wet sounds you're both making has you feeling dizzy.

“C’mon sweetheart, cum on my cock. God you can keep cumming on my cock as much as you want I don’t care.” His thrusts start to pick up the pace. “I’m yours forever.”

Those three words were enough to snap the coil within, breathing heavily as your walls flutter around his length. You’re so caught up in your own head you don’t realize Juyeon uttering a string of whimpers until you feel him quickly pull out his cock and blow his load all over your stomach.

The both of you take a moment to calm down from your highs before Juyeon gets up to each for the box of tissue on the coffee table. You watch him gently clean you up before he pulls his boxers back on to find your discarded underwear and also helps you put it back on.

He hovers above you before leaning down to leave small kisses around your face and on your lips. You caress his cheek slowly as he leans into your touch.

“Did you mean it? Everything you said?” You softly ask him.

“Down to every letter.” He responds. “But… I think you broke me.”

“Broke you? How?” You playfully scrunch your eyebrows at him.

“Don’t want to see myself with anyone else now.”

“Oh really?” You raise an eyebrow. “And how should I fix it then?” He smirks and kisses you again,

“Let me take you out on a date and we’ll call it even.”

#deoboyznet #juyeon smut #lee juyeon #juyeon #tbz smut #the boyz smut #the boyz hard hours #tbz scenarios #the boyz fic #the boyz fanfic #tbz drabbles #the boyz scenarios #tbz hard hours #kpop smut

654 notes · View notes

miveras · 1 month

Text

Drabble: Silent Treatment | JJK

Pairing: jungkook x reader Genre: established relationship, angst, fluff Word count: 1.6k Warnings: none

masterlist

---

“You’re so fucking lazy,” you scream, “Do you ever just look around and think to clean up after yourself once in a while?”

You pick up his worn, mahogany sweater off the floor and into the bucket you struggle to carry with only one hand. You resist the urge to chuck it at him, ignoring you with a scoff.

You weren’t this angry to begin with, but you couldn’t help it after seeing his reaction to you. This was the second fight you’d had, and this has been the worst so far. He wasn’t listening to you at all, and you didn’t know what would make him finally cooperate.

Though you shouldn’t fuel the flame, you keep nagging at him to get up and pointing out every one of his wrongdoings in the past few weeks.

“Just give me a few days. You know I always clean on weekends since I don’t have time on weekdays,” Jungkook replies with a serious tone. You can see it in his eyes, his anger building up by the second.

“Well if you don’t have time, then why are you on your phone? Why aren’t you doing anything then?” you rambled.

He groans in response, obviously annoyed that you keep going back and forth with harsh blows.

After you guys dated for a year, you thought it’d be a good idea to start discussing the living situations. When he told you that his landlord was raising their prices, it posed the perfect scenario for you to invite him in.

Jungkook moved in just past a month, and sure, he was fine the first two weeks. He cooked for you, cleaned after himself, and tried his best not to make a mess. But recently, you’ve caught him being such a horrible roommate that now, you couldn’t stop the hurtful words coming out of your mouth.

“Shut up…” he mutters in a quiet voice, avoiding your confrontation. He wished you hadn’t heard it but when he hears your feet dragging against the floor, he knew you did.

But you didn’t choose to answer him and instead, you gave him the silent treatment.

He enjoyed the short while that you left and came back with a vacuum. For the rest of the week, you guys cut off contact with each other, living in the same house but not saying anything. You even went as far as to eat at a different time than usual, just to avoid him. You weren’t giving this up easily– you wanted him to care, needed him to. You wished he found this just as important as you did.

Over the past week, all you focused on was your job. At work, all you thought about was him– it got so bad to the point where your work friends started questioning you about your sanity. You were constantly zoning out and the lack of sleep didn’t help at all.

You asked for help from one of your friends: Ara. While writing a paper about the company’s statistical reports, you had a welcome visitor come in– just who you were looking for.

“Y/N! I haven’t seen you in a bit,” she whines, “I literally missed you so much.” She almost leaps into your arms as soon as she sees you. At least someone was happy to see you. She hugs you so tight you had to push her away for a bit, trying not to pass out from the lack of air.

“Ara, I missed you…” you pout. She notices the sadness behind your eyes, knowing that you’re not usually this affectionate unless you need it. Ara immediately knew something was wrong from the way you were reacting to her presence– though she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

You fess up to her about everything, including the words you and Jungkook exchanged. It was pretty harsh, to say the least. Ara understood you, more than anyone else could (except Jungkook of course).

Her advice to you was to communicate, but it was way harder than it sounded. You couldn’t do it, not now at least.

You tried your best to avoid him by doing literally anything else: going out to work, cleaning, anything. It was pathetic to anyone who wasn't either of you– everyone knew how much both of you guys loved each other, and everyone knows you guys belong to each other.

You were too stubborn to admit defeat so you waited for Jungkook– who was probably the only person just as stubborn as you, to apologize first. Predictably, it’s been an ongoing problem for more than just a few days.

Whenever it was time to sleep, your heart raced faster than normal beside him. You had already promised yourself not to lean over and kiss him, admire him, or do anything with him as a form of his punishment. But now, it started to feel like your’s.

Did he even care about you? Did he even miss you?

You hated the way your body couldn’t relax, feeling every nerve pulse throughout your body. You swallow, wondering how long it’ll take you to fall asleep considering your inability to when you’re not embracing something.

You shifted slightly, missing the way he looked over to you with a worried expression but not having enough courage to do something about it.

He sighs, turning the other way as well. He decided not to do anything– he was way too exhausted and stubborn to even face you. He wouldn’t know what to say.

---

The next morning, you wake up with the house all tidy– clothes in their right place, no food in sight, all the dishes clean, but you can’t seem to find the one who did it. He must’ve gone to school already.

The following days were all the same. He goes to school, then you, then avoids each other all day, then comes home just to sleep facing opposite each other. I was tired, no doubt.

He’s stubborn and you’re stubborn. You’d think you were a perfect match until something like this comes along. It’s funny, you think.

At some point, all you wanted to do was be in his embrace. To feel his warmth all over you. Oh, how you wanted to just kiss him all over and play with his hair until he falls asleep.

As you think about how much you miss him, you wonder how much or if he even missed you at all. You look beside you– suddenly feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness. You almost forgot how much you missed him.

Unintentionally, your shoulders shake as you try your best to keep in your weeps quiet and breaths steady. Streaks of tears drop to your cheeks, entangling with your hair. You struggle to stop your sobs from coming out, covering your mouth and wiping your eyes to make sure Jungkook doesn’t wake up because of you.

It was truly your last straw. You couldn’t handle being away from him anymore.

“Y/N…” he whispers, concern written all over his face. You freeze, not being able to comprehend anything at that moment.

Still feeling groggy and dazed from his sleep, he rubs his eyes to see you clearer. Once his eyes set on you, a small rush of panic goes through his veins, worriedness taking over his body. He parts his lips in shock and slowly wraps his arms around you– not quite sure what to do.

You feel his arms snake to your waist, kissing your head and muttering soft phrases to calm you down. You wallow in his embrace, slightly embarrassed about your outburst that had him waking up late at night. In a way, you felt ashamed of yourself and your feelings, suddenly feeling more insecure about yourself as Jungkook continues to hold you in silence.

He felt wrong reaching for you when it was obvious he was who you were upset about. He had a clue on what was happening to you– what you were worried about, but he decided to stay quiet and bring it up later when you don’t look as hurt.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I love you so much..,” his voice trails off as he starts peppering kisses all over your face. You can tell that he felt extremely guilty just by his voice, and his expression sends confirmation of that.

At this point, you had already stopped crying out of embarrassment, shame, and even comfort from Jungkook.

“I-I’m sorry too,” you sniffle, “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“I didn’t get the chance to apologize sooner. I..I was just scared that you’d stay mad at me– then I wouldn’t know what to do” he explains nervously. Rubbing your arm comfortingly, he asks you to stay with him. “I’ll listen to you from now on.”

“Jungkook, I love you too. I hate fighting with you,” you confess. He only smiles in response, though you can’t see his face when yours is buried in his chest. You hug him back in return– both of you exchanging loving glances at each other.

Jungkook kisses you in the temple one last time before closing his eyes and relaxing his body.

In a few minutes, you both fall asleep in each other’s comfort. You missed him so much even though you’ve barely been apart and he feels the same exact way. That definitely wasn’t the last argument you’d have, but it’d be the last one where he’d make you cry.

Ara was right– all it took was a bit of communication.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook ff #bts fanfic #bts x reader #jungkook angst #bts jungkook #bts jimin #jimin fluff #taehyung fluff #fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #kook.ver

246 notes · View notes

honeyedmiller · 9 months

Text

Law of Attraction — Chapter One: Rough Draft

series masterlist | next chapter

rating: 18+, minors dni.

warnings: Professor!Joel, reader is self conscious for a bit, reader is mentioned to be plus sized, no outbreak au, smut (fingering, thigh riding, f oral receiving, unprotected piv), pet names, age gap (joel is in his mid forties and reader is in late twenties), no use of y/n.

word count: 4.4k

chapter synopsis: you need help with a paper you’re writing for Professor Miller’s class, and he’s more than happy to oblige.

Professor Miller’s class was your favorite.

Criminal Law was your favorite subject, and Professor Miller made learning about it sound like the most interesting thing in the world (which to you, it truly was).

Although the class itself was a bit monotonous, you got to look at the most handsome Professor on the University of Austin’s campus. It was no secret that people only joined Professor Miller’s class just to ogle over him and his ruggedly handsome looks.

You, on the other hand, needed this class to graduate. Which means you needed to try. You were a good student; A’s and B’s as your final grades at the end of each semester, took good notes, studied hard, and asked for help when you needed it. However, you found it to be a bit difficult to do so for Professor Miller.

Even just being around him made you unintentionally blush. His eyes always tended to land on yours because you sat up front, and, well, tried to pay attention to the lesson. So, when you weren’t exactly confident in the rough draft of a paper you wrote for his class, you’d emailed him for help.

to: [email protected]

Good evening Professor Miller,

I was just wondering if I could have you read through the rough draft of my paper. I seem to be struggling a bit with this particular section of the course, and would like some feedback to see what I need to change or can improve.

Thank you and kind regards.

You held your breath as you clicked ‘send’, and in less than five minutes, he replied to you. Your heart leaped into your throat when you saw his name on the screen, and you rolled your eyes at yourself for getting so worked up over a man that you’d never be able to have, regardless if you were well above a legal age.

from: [email protected]

Of course. Meet me after class tomorrow and we can go over it in my office during my office hours.

Have a good night.

Professor M

You often thought of Professor Miller outside of class, and, sometimes, you’d let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t go. Places like what it’d feel like for him to run his hands over you, fingers in you, him moaning because of you.

Your thoughts always quickly dissipated though when reality sunk in. Surely he’d want someone his own age, not a student of his, and someone who was… well, thinner. You were a bigger girl and you’d struggled with your image a lot, especially because trauma from your childhood from being made fun of constantly haunted you into your adulthood.

It wasn’t easy not caring what people thought of you, especially since you weren’t society’s “standard” beauty. You were curvy, yes, but you didn’t have a flat tummy like other women. You’ve been on a journey of self love and healing for a long time, and you've come a long way. You've had a newfound confidence spring within you, but you just couldn't help the thought loom in the back of your mind as you fantasized about your unfairly gorgeous professor.

So, as it was, you went to bed that night fucking yourself with your fingers, wishing they were his instead as a ghost of his name was whispered from your lips.

It was unusually hot in Austin the next day, which resulted in you wearing a pencil skirt that came just above the knees, a button down shirt with the first couple of buttons undone, and strap back kitten heels. You had a presentation in your first class with a team to act as if you were profilers giving a profile on a high stakes case. So, naturally, you had to dress the part.

What you didn't take in account is the fact that several of your classmate's eyes landed on you as you walked into Professor Miller's class a few minutes before it started. Professor Miller's eyes snapped up and looked at you, taking in your professional attire. You felt your face get hot as you tried to subtly head to your desk in the front, but your heels clicking against the floor didn't help.

Joel cleared his throat as he typed something on his computer, turning on the projector so the screen could display today's lesson. Joel got up from his desk and trudged over to yours, knocking on it twice. Your head was already buried in the notes from the previous lessons, so his presence startled you.

"I remembered your email from yesterday. See me after class today if you can." He pauses, taking a moment to look over your features, pretty face was perfectly on display for him. Your eyebrows were furrowed and your doe eyes scanned his face, lips in a soft pout, and your chest was rising and falling faster than usual. The way he looked at you made you squeeze your legs together, and Joel noticed.

"For my paper." You stated matter-of-factly, rather than questioning it. He nodded, and you mirrored his actions once before he stalked back to his desk. He greeted the class shortly after, beginning the lesson almost immediately.

Class lasted the two hours as usual, and as everyone gathered their stuff, you stay put. You’d crossed your leg over one another because the heavy feeling of arousal just wasn’t going away.

Professor Miller looked particularly good today, with his hair done up and a tight cotton green button down hugging the muscles in his arms. You always admired his husky build, and this shirt he wore with the fitted denim jeans he had on accentuated it perfectly.

“So what exactly are you struggling with?” Professor Miller cuts to the chase, prompting you to come up to his desk. You clear your throat as you pull the rough draft from your folder, sliding out of your desk. You walk over to him, heels still clicking onto the floor with purpose. You hand him the paper and he takes it from you gently.

“I’m having trouble with the case study here,” You lean over his desk slightly, a perfectly manicured finger of yours pointing at the third paragraph on the first page. “I don’t know if I should apply or dispute it.” You chew on your bottom lip nervously, not realizing how incredibly sexy you look to your dear professor right now.

One of your hands was hooked to the edge of his desk, gripping on it to balance yourself as you leaned over giving him a slight peep of the very top of the soft flesh of your breasts. You biting your lip like that didn’t make things any better. Joel felt his cock twitch in his jeans, and he wanted to groan.

Joel’s admired your curviness since the first day you walked into his classroom. He always found plus size women attractive, so naturally, he felt more drawn to you. He knew you were a consenting adult and a grown woman at that, so he truthfully didn’t feel too guilty for unashamedly checking you out. You just never noticed.

Joel’s eyes snapped back to your paper, reading over the section you pointed at. “You should apply the argument,” Joel said, writing next to the printed words with red ink. “Everything looks good, though. Just apply the argument and assess the similarities between the two cases and you’re golden.” He hands you back the paper after writing his feedback.

“Great. Thank you for your help, Professor.”

“Call me Joel.”

You look at him a little confused. “Sir?” The word just slipped out of your mouth, and you didn’t realize what you’d just said until after the fact. Joel exhaled shakily out of his nose.

To change the subject, he took in your attire again. “What’ya doin’ dressed up all fancy like that?” He asks, leaning back in his chair. He was trying to distract his own mind from wandering places that it shouldn’t with you.

“Oh,” You laugh, and fuck if that wasn’t one of Joel’s new favorite sounds. “I have Professor Sanchez’s class before this. We had a group presentation today,” You turn away from him to put the paper back in your folder, so your back was facing him. You heard Joel get up from his chair, but his footsteps didn’t go far. It sounded like he was leaning up against his desk. “We basically had to give out a profile for a mock high stakes case.”

Joel hummed, and you whirred around to face him. His body looked elongated the way he leaned so cooly up against his mahogany desk, legs extended but crossed as his boots touched the ground, and his arms were crossed over his chest. He looked like a tall glass of water and you’d be damned if you didn’t get a sip.

“Professor Sanchez’s class sounds fun.” Joel quips, tilting his head.

“Yours is better.”

“Oh really? Why’s that?” He uncrosses his arms and pushes himself off of his desk, analyzing your body language again. He can tell by the way your legs are pressed together and the rising of your chest that you’re nervous, which makes him nearly smirk.

“More fun to learn about.” You shrug, trying to play it cool. You were certain he could see right through you, though, but neither of you were doing anything about it. You couldn’t help but have a hunch that Professor Miller might just want you the same way you want him. Maybe.

He huffs a chuckle and looks down at the linoleum tile on the floor, biting his tongue. You know he wants to say something, but he’s hesitant. So, you took the initiative and took a step closer to him, taking in his broad frame.

“Look, darlin’,” He starts, and your stomach flutters at the nickname. “I know you’re a grown woman and all, but you’re still my student.”

You tilt your head to the side in wonder, a ghost of a smirk on your lips. “What ever are you talking about, sir?” You’re playing with fire now as you take a step forward, just inches away from the man you’ve wanted to ruin you for so long.

“You know exactly–” He paused as you dragged your index finger down the side of his neck, to his exposed collarbone. “What I’m talkin’ about.”

“As far as I’m concerned, sir, we’re both consenting adults.” You drop your hand and shrug, your eyes feening innocence.

He sighs defeatedly, shaking his head.

“You’re not wrong about that. You don’t know how hard it’s been trying to keep my eyes to myself every time you walk into my classroom. And then you come in here looking like this?” Joel gestures to your whole body, and your heart is hammering in your chest.

“Never thought you’d look at me that way, Professor.” You confess.

“You kiddin’ me? You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life,” He scoffs as if he can’t believe you don’t see yourself in the same light that he does. He thinks for a moment before opening his mouth, then clamping it shut. It seems that he made a final decision when he sighs and closes his eyes, opening them to look directly into yours. His brown eyes were so mesmerizing, you almost didn’t hear him say his next words. “If you really want this, want me, follow me into my office.” He whispers, and you nod with subtle eagerness.

Holy fuck. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You trailed not too far behind him with your book bag slung over your shoulder, heels clicking against the floor in anticipation as you tried to keep up with his wide strides. You walked through a door in the classroom that led to a hallway with another door at the end. Joel unlocked the door and opened it for you, letting you in first. He trailed in hot on your heels and shut the door. He locked it and swiftly grabbed the softness of your hips, pushing you up against the door. You gasp softly, hands landing on his broad chest.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so beautiful.” Was all he said before he crashed his lips with yours, gripping one of your thighs and bringing it up to wrap around his waist. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your thigh as your skirt rode to your hips, leaving you to feel just how hard Joel’s cock was getting.

You moaned into his mouth and tangled your fingers into his slightly graying hair, tugging the slightest bit. He pushed you even further into the door, grinding his hips into yours. You left out a soft whimper into his mouth, but he swallowed it right up when he swept his tongue over your bottom lip. You didn’t hesitate to let his tongue explore your mouth.

You both were clearly so ravenous for each other, and the clashing of tongues and teeth proved that. You gripped at each other like you’d both disappear and this would’ve been a sad, unfulfilling dream.

Joel pulled apart from your lips as he trailed his warm lips down your throat and to your collar bone, his hot tongue poking out to soothe tiny bites he made along the way.

“Joel, please.” You beg, not really sure for what though. You want him everywhere on you all at once. You wanted to drink him in like he was the last fucking water source in the world. You wanted to feel his burly muscles rippling beneath your hands as you became full of him, stretching you out so heavenly that you couldn’t even comprehend what was going on around you.

He moaned at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue, and he pulled apart from you. He dragged you over to his desk, where he sat down in his large office chair and pulled you down to straddle one thigh of his.

“Go on, baby, use me.” He breathed, brushing the curve of your cheekbone softly. You leaned forward to kiss him again, finally registering what he meant. You settled your clothed core over his jean-clad thigh, grinding yourself onto him slowly at first. The friction was heavenly and you knew you were already close.

So many days and nights of fantasizing about this and how it’d go down, only for it to come true in the end, was truly otherworldly. His large hands moved down to unbutton a couple of more buttons on your shirt before moving down the curves of your body to rest on your ass, giving it a squeeze. You brought your hands onto his shoulders to steady yourself as you began to really ride his thigh.

You moaned softly and your eyebrows threaded together, the friction becoming nearly unbearable.

“Fuck.” You muttered, jaw going slack. Joel watched you in pure lust and amusement, waiting for you to soak a spot into his jeans. Seeing you like this, on top of him, riding his thigh, getting off because of him… made his head swirl with euphoria.

“That’s it, angel. C’mon. Give it to me, baby.” Joel encouraged, softly forcing his hands against your ass to get you to rut your hips a little faster.

“Fuck, fuck, Joel, I’m gonna– fuck!” You came hard on his thigh, and he nearly came in his pants at the sight. He felt the warm slick on his thigh, and he needed to get a taste of you.

“So good for me, sweet girl,” He murmured as he lifted you by your hips and set you down on his neat desk. Your skirt was already up to your hips, so Joel swiftly removed your soaked panties and stuffed them in his back pocket. “Let me just get a taste.” He said, looking down at you. Your cunt clenched around nothing at his words, silently begging him to devour you like you were his last meal.

He got down on his knees and pulled your ass closer to the edge of the desk by your thighs, hooking them around his shoulders as he came face-to-face with your glistening heat. “So fuckin’ pretty. This pussy’s mine.” Joel mewled, calloused fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs once more as his tongue circled your clit.

The drag of his muscle was slow, teasing. He took his time just to hear you beg for his mouth. He needed to hear it.

“Sir, please.” You softly whimper, and his eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. His ran his tongue up and down your folds, swirling it a few times before it prodded your entrance. He delved his tongue inside of you, and you had to clamp your hand over your mouth in order to keep from screaming.

His tongue felt so warm and wet and heavenly in you and around your aching cunt, just begging to be devoured until you reach another orgasm. Joel is was moaning against you, and the vibrations shot straight up your core. It made your toes curl in your heels, and your hips buck up from the desk. He folded his hands on top of your stomach to keep you locked down, and you whined at the sensation.

You were panting heavily beneath your hand, trying to muffle the loud whines and moans that you emitted. Joel’s tongue kept working against you as he lapped up your slick, drinking you in like he was dehydrated in the desert. You tasted so good to him; like nectarine from the ripest peach.

He then solely focused his tongue on your clit, flicking over it rapidly before using his lips to lightly suck on it. Your nails from your free hand clawed at the desk, the feeling of overstimulation creeping in. You felt that low burning sensation in your core as your next orgasm began to build up. As if on cue, Joel swiftly detached his mouth from you as he gathered your slick on his middle finger, followed by his ring. He pushed his two fingers into your entrance slowly, relishing the tightness around his digits.

He latched his mouth back onto your clit, interchanging between licking and sucking. Your shaky thighs began to squeeze Joel’s head as your orgasm was about to peak.

Joel hummed against you as he curled his fingers , hitting that spongy spot inside of your cunt that had you rolling your eyes back as your body shook through your climax. You whimpered as he detached his mouth and removed his fingers, bringing them to his mouth to lick them clean. The whole bottom half of his face was covered in your arousal, and he looked down at you with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“So sweet f’me, baby. Could eat that perfect pussy all day.” He tossed you a shit-eating grin, and your thighs clamped shut as you tried to regain your breath. He leaned down to give you a kiss, and you tasted yourself on his tongue as he slipped it into your mouth. You could feel his painfully hard erection against your thigh, so you tried to muster up as much energy as you could to start taking off his belt.

Joel helped you by taking the rest of his belt off after you undid the buckle. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, pulling them down just below his ass. He tugged his boxers down too so he could free his erection. Your mouth watered at the sight of his erect cock, head weeping and leaking pre cum.

“L’me taste you.” You managed to say in your already fucked-out state, but Joel shook his head.

“Next time, baby,” Next time. You pouted at him and he chuckled, cradling your face. “Now if you need to tap out, give me two hard taps on my thigh, okay angel?” You swallowed and nodded at his directions, and once again, you clenched around nothing.

“I’m– I have an IUD.” You say, and Joel looks down at you.

“Good.” Was all he said before putting both of his hands by your head, leaning down to kiss you gently. Without removing his lips from yours, he took one hand and guided the head of his cock over your aching folds. You were buzzing with anticipation, because the need to have him in you was almost unbearable.

He slowly prodded your entrance, then pushed himself in. You nearly choke on a gasp as he fills you up. You felt every ridge and vein on his silky, girthy flesh and you closed your eyes in pure ecstasy at the feeling. His cock was heavy in you, the weight adding to the extra pleasure you were already experiencing.

Joel looked at your face, admiring how it was contorted in pleasure and slight pain before he leaned down again to bite the soft flesh of your breast as he adjusted to your tightness.

“Feel so fuckin’ good, baby.” Joel moaned, standing upright after littering a few more kisses on your chest.

“Please move, Joel.” Was all you said before he began to rock his hips steadily. His thrusts were slow at first, but you tried to grind your hips against his for more friction. A few times your clit met the coarse hair at the base of his cock, and that gave you the friction you needed to clench around him so deliciously.

“This pretty pussy is all mine, y’hear me? So fuckin’ wet and tight, darlin’. Have me fuckin’ losin’ my mind,” Joel picks up his pace, slamming into you at an impossible rate. “Say it.” He warns, taking your breasts out from the cup of your bra.

“It’s–fuck, it’s all yours sir. All yours.” You couldn’t believe how good he felt as he fucked you like this, feverishly and buried to the hilt every single time.

“Good girl.” You moaned at the praise, and he leaned down to capture a swollen bud into his mouth. His hot tongue swirled around your flesh, sucking it and ever so slightly nipping it with his teeth. You hissed at the feeling, but it only spurred your arousal on further.

You wrapped your legs around his waist as he fucked you, but he stood up and removed your legs from him and put them over his shoulders instead. The new angle made it easier for him to fuck you deeper. A dark glint passed in Joel’s eyes as you moaned loudly.

He gathered both of your wrists into one of his, pinning them above your head. The pace of his hips picked up, and all that was heard in the windowless room was the sound of skin on skin slapping together, your wonton moans, and Joel’s grunts. He moved his other hand over your throat, wrapping around it and giving the sides a squeeze as he fucked you senselessly. You felt that tight coil in the pit of your core once more, and you were writhing beneath Joel the best you could.

“Fuck, Joel, ‘m gonna cum again.”

“Go ‘head angel, cum f’me.” His deep Southern drawl is what sent you over the edge, crumbling down and shattering all at once as your orgasm ripped through you. You cried out, and Joel quickly removed his hand from your throat and kissed you urgently, but the pace of his hips didn’t let up. He released your wrists next and your hands found purchase in his hair, raking their way down his back as you desperately tried to grab a hold on him.

It resulted in your nails scratching down his back, which he hissed at but didn’t seem to mind overall. Joel was chasing his own release as your slick cunt gripped him so desperately.

“C’mon baby, give me one more.” He grunted, gripping your hips so tightly you were sure there were going to be bruises. As if on command, your body beckoned to his call and you found yourself orgasming for the fourth time that day. A gush of liquid expelled from your overstimulated cunt, and a strangled cry left your mouth.

Joel was teetering on the edge, teeth clenched and brow furrowed. “Where do you want me, angel?” His voice was strangulated and desperate, both of you gasping for air.

“In me, Joel, please.” You cry, gently gripping at his hair as his head dropped to your shoulder, warm spurts of cum shooting into you. He groaned into your ear, cursing under his breath as he filled you to the brim.

He collapsed onto you, cradling the side of your face as he kissed you passionately.

“So good f’me, sweet girl. Y’did so well.” He praises, kissing your lips once more before standing up slowly and pulling himself out of your sensitive cunt.

You hummed as you tried to relish in the feeling of being so fucked out by one of the hottest men you’ve ever come to know in your life. You couldn’t believe that just happened, and your mind was swirling with a million thoughts per minute.

Joel helped you up onto shaky legs, grinning to himself at how fucked out you looked. He was sure he looked the same way, but he couldn’t care less.

“You have any classes after this, baby?” Joel asks as he buttons up your shirt for you. You shake your head no, your voice not quite caught up to you just yet.

“‘M going home to sleep. Im exhausted.” You sigh, leaning against him. He chuckles and kisses the top of your head, smoothing out any stray hairs that were misplaced from your activities.

“Get some rest, baby. Here. Take my number and I’ll call you.” He rips a piece of paper from a notebook laying nearby, scribbling his number on it before tucking it into the breast pocket of your shirt. You beam up at him, hand trailing up his torso to rest on his chest. Your other hand found purchase on the back of his neck, softly tugging him down to kiss him once more.

“Mm. Will do, Professor.” You playfully wink at him, and he taps your ass playfully before you unlock the door to his office.

He half smiled as he watched you walk away, admiring your beautiful body from behind. He called out to you one last time, hoping you’d text him asap that night.

“Don’t forget to fix your rough draft!”

tag list:

@cool-iguana ; @wannab-urs ; @bastardmandennis ; @nostalxgic ; @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin ; @pamasaur ; @planet-marz1

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller au #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller one shot #joel miller imagines #joel miller imagine #joel miller x plus size reader #professor!joel #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal imagine #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x afab!reader

631 notes · View notes

runa-falls · 11 months

Text

the love bite - steven

pairing: steven grant x reader (what's new)

warnings: biting (lol), physical hurt/comfort, FLUFF, unhinged!reader, sub-ish!steven [I CAN'T HELP IT OK], small reference to the boys' past/their job, a bit suggestive but not explicit!

a/n: blaming @whatthefishh for this thot after the comment on the flowers fic about wanting to bite him i had to write. and @leoluved for encouraging me to write this instead of my wips -- hehe :3

prompt (by me): i wonder how steven would react to the reader just biting him out of love...

w/c: ~800

masterlist

---

With Steven, the initial chomp would happen during a normal hangout with each other.

Like you'd both just be chilling, sprawled out on the couch, with the tv droning in the background:

You love these moments with Steven. The unspoken acknowledgment that you are both pretending to watch what's on when really you're just sinking into each other's touch, enjoying each other's company.

Soft, lazy days like this have become increasingly rare as Konshu has Marc sent out on missions in the States every few weeks. You don't blame them. You could never blame them. You just miss them.

Steven is snuggled right behind you, a sweater-clad arm securely wrapped over your shoulder to keep you close to his body. He sighs softly into your hair, wishing to just lay here, legs tangled with yours forever.

He doesn't notice or care that his oversized sleeve bunches at his elbow as he repositions himself behind you, but your eyes instantly catch onto his revealed forearm, tan and strong, but relaxed, resting right above your chest.

Sometimes you forget how strong your boyfriends are, how they can handle you with such care, touches as light as a feather when all they've known in their life is pain.

Steven settles closer to you, face nuzzled against your shoulder, subtly breathing you in with a soft sigh. His warmth soaks into your back, surrounding you with undeniable comfort. You look down at his arm with interest in your eyes, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip.

Suddenly you have this urge, this impulsive thought to just --

Steven chokes out a high-pitched yelp.

"HEY!" He’s barely able to process what happened as he swipes his arm away from your mouth. "W-what was that for?" He stares at you with furrowed brows while his other arm slips out from under you to rub at the fresh bite mark on his arm.

You sit up a little, eyes trained on the indents as his fingers gently swipe over them. Pretty. You didn't bite hard so they're quite faint, but you can still make out your bite pattern.

You bite the inside of your cheek, "I dunno."

It sounded dumb coming out of your mouth, but you really can't explain why you did it. You just needed to. Something about his softness and the pure affection you hold for him compelled you to bite him…and you kind of want to do it again.

Your hand darts out and you try to tug his arm closer, but he struggles against you, no longer trusting his limbs anywhere close to your mouth. He whimpers softly when you tug harder, trying to resist your eager grip.

“What d’you mean ‘I don’t know’?!” His arm is immovable, but you keep pulling at him. “You bit me!”

When he pulls away from your body, attempting to push himself up to a seated position, you huff in frustration and yank him back. He falls back with a squeak and you hold him close, leaning in instead of pulling him in this time.

You brush your lips against his warm skin, hovering right over the last bite and he relaxes a bit, believing you’d soothe the bite with a kiss as an apology. But you don’t.

It’s less aggressive this time around. Less of a bite and more of a nibble.

He tenses at first, instinctively wanting to draw away from you, but as you gently suckle and lick at him, he starts to settle against you, seeing as you mean him no harm.

“I-I still don’t get it.” He peers down at you as you leave soft marks along his arm, “What – Why are you doing this?”

You sigh, “Steven…just let it happen.”

“Um, ok.”

—

Since that initial bite, your lips have made their way around his body, taking time to show every inch of him some love and affection. He’s littered with love bites and phantom kisses, but he still yearns for more.

He shudders as you drag the edge of your teeth against the crook of his neck and eagerly leans into your touch, hungry for physical contact.

No matter how much he mewls and begs for you, you’ve taken it slow, drinking in each bated breath and soft cry.

You breathe a whisper against his skin, “You like this, Steven?”

He doesn’t answer your question.

You place a gentle kiss on his sweet spot, but pull away when he starts to whine for more.

“Please, darling.”

He wants you to bite, but you stay put and watch him writhe for your touch.

Your thumb swipes over a blotch of purple on his shoulder and he shivers at the sensation of pleasurable pain, “Why do you like it so much, sweetheart, hm?”

“I dunno,” He’s delirious, only able to think about you and your touch, “I just – please.”

“Ok, baby…”

#steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant fluff #moon knight

797 notes · View notes

rainylana · 1 year

Text

“My angel baby, I’m here.”

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: eddie finds out that you self harm.

warnings: reader self harms and is severely depressed, undertones of poor eating habits but very brief, language, lots of tears, blood, angst to the max, mentions of periods.

a/n: this is the longest that i’ve posted yet since getting back into writing and i’m super happy with how it turned out! it is a sensitive topic so it won’t be for everyone. this is dedicated to all the ones who can relate to this fic. i hope you all have an eddie in times when it gets too much. please let me know what you think. it means the world and more than you can imagine.

You knew that what you did was not healthy. You knew it was sick and messed up. You knew that if anyone found out, they’d think that you were insane. The scars you gave yourself had no real reason to be there. You blamed yourself for that. You didn’t know how to deal with your issues any other way. The moment you were alone you’d drift off to the bathroom, turn the shower on and begin your twisted ritual of self abrasions.

Life for you was difficult, but still, marking your self up was no excuse. You had tried to quiet, of course. Many times you had, but it was a habit you could not break. You were too used to doing it. It was an everyday thing. It was like breathing. You breath to live. You can’t not just breath. So for you, cutting yourself was like breathing. You didn’t think you could stop. It helped you deal with your pain.

If you’d have known what the evening was going to hold for you, you would have slit your throat the moment you woke up.

Darkness clouded your mind. Sitting in class, the fog you knew well was storming your brain cells, making everything else fuzzy and hard to understand. Everyone looked blurry, their faces funny and distorted. They sounded odd. Your heart ached and sunk into the pit of your stomach like it always did. You had no way of explaining what this feeling was and what it meant, but you didn’t like it at all. Once it got you, it had you.

You didn’t try to share any of this with Eddie. You didn’t want him to know how much you struggled. Scaring him away was your worst fear. It was why you never let him see the tops of your thighs. Sex was always under the covers. Lights off. Eddie didn’t complain of course. To him, sex was sex.

And god, did you love him. You loved him with your whole heart and soul. You’d be devastated if he knew your secret. It felt awful to bare, this huge burden you carried on your shoulders. You wondered if any of your other classmates shared it too. There was a darkness in your heart that was eating you alive.

“Babe,” A warm, thick hand grabbed your shoulder, pulling you from sinking to the bottom of the pool you were drowning in.

“Huh?” You said a little louder than you’d realized, blinking rapidly as your vision spun around the room. “What?”

You turned around in your seat to find Eddie’s doe eyes narrowed. “You good?” He whispered, leaning closer. “You’ve been staring at the floor for fifteen minutes.” Your class wasn’t even doing anything important. You had a sub, so everyone was doing their own studying or reading. Eddie had been talking to you until you drifted off.

“Oh, yeah.” You nodded with a swallow, grabbing his hand that still laid on your shoulder. “Sorry, Ed.”

“Just checking on my girl.” He gave you a wink that made you blush. “You coming over tonight?”

“Yeah.” You whispered with a fake smile, exhaustion taking over. He could see the way your lips had faltered. You turned back around and laid your head on your desk, arms being your pillow.

Eddie stared at you.

He might not have been the brightest bulb in the shed, but he knew you weren’t the happiest girl in the world. He knew you were sad and weren’t telling him about it. He didn’t know why, but he wasn’t going to pressure you into it, but still, he was worried about you. He wished for one night that they both could talk about you instead of his problems for a change.

Maybe tonight could be the night.

•

You must’ve gotten your period, he figured. Here it was four o’clock in the morning, and for some reason he couldn’t sleep. He had gotten up to get a glass of water but stopped when he’d seen blood seeping through the tops of your sweatpants, the blankets kicked down below your feet.

“Babe,” He said groggily, giving your shoulder a light shake. “Y/n, wake up.”

You hummed back asleep.

“Y/n, I think you got your period,” He rubbed his eyes, leaning over you to switch on the light. “You’re bleeding.”

That woke you up. “Huh?” Your eyes went wide and you sat up. “Oh,” You gasped upon seeing the red leaks of blood seeping from your sweatpants. An inhumane shock of terror left your throat and you leapt from the bed to disappear into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Eddie, thinking it was your period, thought it was a little funny, even if he was exhausted. He got up and followed you to the door. “Baby, hey, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’ll get some new sheets from the closet, alright? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

You didn’t respond. He waited for a moment to see if you would. He even knocked a few times before giving up and switching out the sheets on the bed. In fact, he did a lot before you actually came out. He changed the bed entirely, knocking again until you muttered a shaky response that you’d be out soon. He bit his thumb nail and paced for another five minutes before he went out for a smoke. He remained seated on the bed when you finally came out.

When he saw you, he knew something was deeply wrong. Your face was white and you were visibly shaken. Your face was stained with dried tears, your eyes bloodshot. Your heart felt like it was broken. This was too close. Nobody had ever gotten this close of finding out. The idea of him knowing made you feel sick. It was your burden and yours alone. It was yours. As sick as it was, it was who you were. Who were you if you didn’t do this? You were so used to it. It was routine for you. Half of the time you did it just to….well, just to do it, to feel something. You were addicted.

“Y/n,” Eddie glanced you over. “what’s wrong? Are you alright?” He stepped toward you, grabbing your elbows lightly. “Hey,”

You sniffled and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go to bed.” You dismissed, now wearing a pair of dark leggings.

“Wait— babe, you’re crying,” He followed you to the bed, watching as you fixed the blanket over yourself. “Are you sick?”

“No, Eddie, I’m fine.” You adjusted your pillow, your body shutting down into survival mode. You needed the situation to be dismissed, shut down. “I’m sorry about the blood, was just my period.”

He sat down on the bed by your thighs. “Don’t be sorry bout’ that, honey. Just want to make sure you’re alright. You need anything? You want some water or something?”

“Eddie, I’m okay.” You stressed, laying down and turning your back to him. “Just forget about it, please.” Your voice broke.

He absolutely did not want to forget about it, not with the way you were trying not to cry. He sat there in the same spot for almost three minutes, eyes glued to your cheek. “Y/n,” He said again. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

You groaned into the pillow. “Damnit, Eddie, lay down!”

“See, I know you,” He shook his head. “You would never be this bothered over your period. Hell, last month you chased me around with your tampon!” He said bewildered, chuckling slightly. “Something else is wrong and you’re not telling me, and when something makes my girl cry, I want to know what it is, so tell me what’s got you so worked up, huh?”

You let out a sob and curled into yourself. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. God, you were so stupid. You shouldn’t have cut so deep.

“Baby,” Eddie frowned, leaning down to lay his torso on you, his chin laying on your shoulder so he could look at you. “Did I hurt your feelings today? Did I say something?”

“No.” You cried into your pillow. “No, Eddie, it’s not you. I promise, it isn’t you.”

He thought maybe he should just drop it, let you go to sleep and maybe it would be okay in the morning, but you were still crying, little puffs and pouts here and there. He couldn’t just dismiss that.

“It’s me.” You found yourself saying, out of the blue.

“What?” He missed what you had said. “I can’t hear you, honey.” He strained his ears to hear you.

“It’s fucking me!” You sobbed into your pillow, chest heaving with a heavy breath that made him jolt. “I’m the fucking problem!”

He had no idea why you were so upset. He didn’t know what to do. He gulped harshly. “Y/n,” He cooed, shushing you gently. He scooted closer, holding you tighter to place a kiss on your temple. “I’m here, baby. Shh, shh, I’m here.”

You let go, sobbing in his arms and into your wet pillow, you broke down in sobs. Most of it was just because you were purely exhausted and you were emotionally drained, depressed. This week you were in a deeper funk than what you’ve normally been in. You hadn’t been eating properly to start. Your showers consisted of laying on the floor and imaging yourself drowning. The idea of Eddie knowing your secret made you want to die, yet you spoke anyway.

“I’m so sad.” You whimpered while Eddie rocked you in his arms, his hands stroking your hair.

He’d thought maybe you’d fallen asleep. You’d been quiet for several minutes. “Why, baby?” He kissed your shoulder.

“I don’t know,” You thought, a crinkle in your nose as you tried to reason why you felt the way you did. “Something is wrong with me, Eddie.”

You were starting to scare him. He’d never heard you talk like this before. He swallowed hard, batting his eyes across the room like his answers were a poster on the wall. “Y/n, if you tell me maybe I can help you.”

God, was help possible? Could you stop? Did you even want to? Who were you if you didn’t have that one constant in your life?

The idea brought on a wave of fresh tears, your lips turning down in a blubbering frown. “You’ll think I’m disgusting.” Your back shook against his broad, bare chest. “You won’t— you won’t ever look at me the same. You’ll think…fuck, you’ll think I’m disgusting.” You sobbed broken-hearted.

Eddie started at your face, features masked in concern. He didn’t know what to do to make you feel better, and his mind was flashing the worst things that could’ve made you so upset, his imagination getting the best of him.

“Sweetheart, I promise whatever you think I’m going to say or do isn’t true.” He leaned over to wipe a tear. “I’m going to love you no matter what you say. That’s how this works, remember? Please, baby, tell me. You’re worrying me.”

Guilt made your heart pound. You let out a long mewl, curling up like a cat so you could cry. Eddie still didn’t let you go. This was your nightmare, yet you, yourself, were making it come true.

“I didn’t get my period.” You said with wet lashes.

“What do you mean?” He narrowed his eyes down at you.

You let out a sob, holding a hand to your stomach. “I mean, I- fuck, I didn’t get my..my- period!” You hyperventilated through your breath.

“Shh, calm down, sweetheart, you don’t have to rush,” He soothed you, rubbing your arms. “Come on, sit up with me.” He gently lifted you by the torso, your hair cascading down your back. You looked like a scared little girl. Your eyes were wet and your face was soaked like you’d been laying in the rain. Eddie sighed, his mouth in a frown as he tried to help you.

“Breath, honey,” He fixed your hair, smoothing it down in rough places.

“I’m so sorry.” You whimpered, grabbing his hands tightly, squeezing them.

“Don’t be.” He shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for, angel. Just want you to tell me what’s got you so upset. What is it that you want to tell me?” He knew whatever it was, you wanted to tell him. And deep down, you did. Maybe that was why you couldn’t shut the hell up.

“I’m so scared.” You shuttered a breath. “I’m so scared that you’ll…what you’ll think of me.”

His heart was beating loud in his chest. “You said that you didn’t get your period,” He tried to question you gently. “What does that mean?”

Did you really want to do this? Did you want to just let it all go within a blink of an eye? Truthfully, yeah. Yeah, you did. You couldn’t do it anymore. At least not alone.

You sat up slightly, fingertips grabbing the waistband of your sweats as you tugged them down to your knees. You didn’t look at him as you sank back down to sit on your ankles.

“I cut too deep.” You wept, staring down at your thighs. It was your canvas, your target area. They were scared on every inch. Some white and faded with age, some angry and red.

When Eddie saw them, it connected all dots instantly. His eyes widened in horror at your legs. They looked absolutely terrifying. He couldn’t help let out a gasp. “Oh, god, y/n,”

His large palms ghosted over them, and he leaned down so he could examine them closer. “Jesus,” His own eyes blurred with tears, his bottom lip quivering with emotion.

“I know,” You shook your head shamefully. “I know, Eddie, but I can’t help it.” You lifted your head up as you shuttered out a tearful breath. “I can’t stop no matter how hard I try. It’s the only thing that helps me.”

“God, y/n,” He traced your scars with his fingertips, jaw fallen slack in shock.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You bawled. “I’m so…I don’t know, I’m just- just- so miserable and it’s the only thing that seems to help. I’m just so used to doing it and I don’t think I can stop!” You blubbered, snot dripping onto your cupid’s bow and dipping into your lip.

Eddie’s head snapped up. “Oh, baby, come here.” He grabbed you and pulled you into his lap. You crawled to him immediately. He cradled your back as you threw your legs around his waist, your chests flush together in a bear hug. You sobbed into his shoulder, his kisses peppering your neck. “I’m here, I’m here.” He repeated.

“My angel baby, I’m here.”

Your body wracked with moans and groans of heartbreak, but you couldn’t deny the amount of relief that left your soul. It finally wasn’t alone on your shoulders. “God, Eddie, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t.” Eddie hushed you. “You have nothing, nothing at all to be sorry about. I should be apologizing. I should have realized. I had no idea you were unhappy.”

“I’m so fucked up,” Your voice muffled against his skin. “I don’t even know why I’m sad I just- I just am! It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Stop saying that.” He held the back of your head with his palm. “How you feel is perfectly understandable. I’m glad you told me. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Baby, I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this alone, but I’m right here now, okay? I’m gonna help you through this. I’m gonna help you rise above this because you’re so strong and you don’t even realize it. But you’re my girl and I know.” He rocked you in his arms, cradled you like a baby as you cried. “I know, baby, I’m here, I’ve got you honey.”

“Please, help me.” You fisted his curls, your chest hollow, yet heavy with emotion. “I need help.”

He nodded, whispering soothing words of encouragement as he fought off a wave of tears. “You can get past this. I did.”

You pulled away, your face an absolute mess. Red, snotty and tearful. Your lips pulled down in the deepest of frowns. “Oh, Eddie,”

He turned his elbow in a 90 degree angle, and angle you’ve never exactly examined, and cried when you saw the faded white scars. You went right back to his chest, holding him like a teddy bear. “Oh, Eddie, I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”

He held you close and kissed your shoulder, allowing one singular tear to spill that you didn’t have to see. He stopped when he met you. You were his saving grace. He’d be sure and do the same for you. His angel baby.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #stranger things season four #joseph quinn #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson headcanons

1K notes · View notes

pinkanonwrites · 1 year

Note

Imagine if Malleus was turned into a gliding lizard, he'd be so tiny!!

I did end up going with a lizard for Malleus's transformation rather than a dragon, I hope you all enjoy it! I think it suits him well.

GN! Reader, They/Them pronouns, Comfort

+2,100 words

“ I think they just have trouble believing that you can see things from their perspective, that’s all.”

Malleus couldn’t help but cock his head at your statement. “Their perspective?”

“Yeah. They all see you as this all-powerful super mage, you know?” You shrugged in response. “When you think someone is that far above you, it’s hard to picture them actually experiencing the world the way you do. That you actually see things…” You made a vague flattening motion with your hands. “At their level.”

“At their level…” He hummed, hand resting on his chin and thoughts appearing to be a thousand miles away. “Your insight has been greatly helpful tonight, Child of Man. I hope I have not troubled you with these questions.”

“Not at all! If you ever need a hand, just let me know. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Malleus chuckled. “That we certainly are.”

When Malleus had asked you about his inability to connect with most of your fellow classmates on his regular night visit to Ramshackle, you weren’t sure if there was any advice you could give that would actually help him out. Regardless of your direction of his appearance and mannerisms, people would think what they wished about the future King of Fae, and the last thing you wanted was for Malleus to try changing anything about himself. But maybe if you could get him to understand that it isn’t necessarily his fault, it would help ease a bit of the burden.

You can’t say you expected it to end like this though, with Lilia depositing a small, greyish-brown lizard into your hand after instructing you to open your palm to him. First thing in the morning and everything.

“You take good care of him now!” He chirped, and if you hadn’t reached out with your free hand to death-grip his blazer sleeve you’re certain he would have pivoted on his heel and left it at that. But ohhhhh, not today. You weren’t letting another bonkers boy slip right out from your grasp without explaining just what the hell he was going on about.

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“Oh? This was your idea, wasn’t it? For Malleus to get to see things…” He perfectly copied the hand motion you’d made to Malleus the night prior. “On your level.”

“That doesn’t explain the lizard! And were you spying on us?”

“Honey, I’m always keeping one eye on what our dear little prince is up to. That’s my job!” He gave you a playful boop on the nose with the tip of one manicured finger. “And the ‘lizard’ is gonna be your scout for the day! After a day in the life of our beloved Prefect I’m sure he’ll have all sorts of fun commoner stories to tell Malleus about when I come to pick him up.”

“So I’m just… carrying around a lizard all day? For Malleus?”

“That’s the spirit! Why don’t you show our little scaly sweetie here all the cool stuff you get up to then? I’ll be back at sunset to collect him. Have fun you two!” He reached over to the lizard in your palm and gave it a mimicking boop. “And don’t cause any trouble! Any more than usual, at least.”

And with a whirl of sparkles and a flash of a glinting fang, Lilia was gone. You looked down at the lizard in your palm, staring up at you with little, googling eyes.

"I guess… you're coming with me today?"

In response (you think?) the lizard gave you a slow blink and a little flick of his tongue.

"Alright. Not like my day could get any weirder anyway. Should I put you in my pocket, maybe? Or you could-WOAH!"

Instead of letting you decide, the little lizard took a flying leap from your outstretched palm, landing square in the center of your chest and scrabbling wildly against the fabric as it struggled to find a grip. You quickly cupped a hand under the little creature and let it clamber upward until it had found a comfortable resting place on your right shoulder.

"Jeez! A little warning next time? What if I dropped you?" A little webbed foot papped against the lower side of your cheek and you sighed, reaching up to give your new tag-along a pat on the head with your index finger. "Alright, alright, I forgive you. Just be a little more careful, okay little buddy?"

Before you could even finish bonding with your new scaly friend, the door to Ramshackle house blew open behind you. Bursting from the doorway was a whirlwind of ashy gray fur, blue flames, and shrieked, panicked placations.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Grim yowled as he veered a hard left and disappeared behind the house. From within you could hear your spectral roommates shouting for your attention, twinkling bursts of magic going off in the distance. If you had to guess, Grim had probably set the living room curtains on fire… Again.

"WATER MAGIC, YOU GUYS! NOT WIND MAGIC!" You hollered as you rushed back into the house. Looks like you were going to be late for morning classes again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Seven class periods, one free study, an incredibly hectic lunch time, and several after-school assignments from the Headmaster later, and you were barely hanging on by the skin of your teeth. Malleus sure picked a doozy of a day to send a little lizard to keep an eye on you, because it felt like just about everything that could have gone wrong did.

You spent all of your Flying class miserably landlocked, as usual, running drills and doing jumping jacks until Coach Vargas had deemed your amount of exercise “suitable.”

Then during your History of Magics study period you were stuck looking up what ended up to be first-grade level history on the Shaftlands, missing your chance to get any of your actual essay done in-class.

In Potionology you added powdered mint leaves instead of dried, and the resulting mishap quite literally blew up in your face. Fortunately you had been fast enough to block your lizard friend from the blast with the palm of your hand, but you had to stand there soot-stained and miserable throughout the remainder of Professor Crewel’s lecture anyway.

You nearly got trampled by the lunch rush, and if it weren’t for Jack’s quick thinking you’d probably be a pavement pancake right now.

Then, as if you hadn’t had enough to do in your regular school day, Crowley had you visit every single Phys. Ed club and take their photos for the school newspaper. Does he even know how hard it is to wrangle a bunch of mean, sweaty teenagers into letting their pictures be taken? He must have, because that would explain why he made you do it.

Finally back to Ramshackle Dorm, the sun was already setting when you slumped up the steps and collapsed face first into your mattress. Homework could wait. Right now you just needed a chance to breathe.

Vaguely, you felt a small, scaly figure wriggle itself underneath your palm and lift it up. You shifted your head to the side just enough to see the lizard propping up your palm like a makeshift tent, tongue sticking out as he stared you down with big, glossy eyes. You bit back a chuckle.

“Hey, buddy. Good hustle today. Didn’t fall off my shoulder even once.”

It scampered forward, floppy-limbed and frantic, until he stopped right in front of your face. A little, suction-cupped hand papped on the side of your cheek, a tiny show of solidarity in the face of your unending workload. It almost brought you to tears.

“Thanks, bud.”

You rolled onto your side, cupping him carefully again under one palm to keep him steady.

“You wanna know the worst part of today? Worse than running laps or failing history or almost getting trampled?”

He cocked his tiny head in your direction.

“The worst part is now you’ve gotta go home, and you’re gonna tell Malleus all about what a colossal fuck-up I am.”

The little hand papped against your face again, a few times, each with increasing urgency.

“It’s true! What one thing did I get right today? I’ve been tripping over myself just to keep from self-destructing since I got here. Everything you have here, it’s so… So different! And everyone seems to have no problem with it except for me. I’m just… “

You sighed, tracing a finger up and down the lizard’s soft, scaly back.

“I’m just tired, bud. I wish it was as easy for me as it was for everyone else.”

You trailed off again, one final thought budging to be let free.

“I wish Malleus was here.”

POOF!

You wheezed, vision suddenly obscured by a thick, purple-black smoke. Despite its sudden, engulfing power, it almost made you feel strangely at ease. It smelled like the forest right after a heavy rain, the slight charge of a thunderstorm that’s only just passed. And as the smoke coiled and curled off over the edges of your mattress to seep onto the floor, the vision of Malleus Draconia appeared before you. He was draped across the bed in a position similar to yours, mirroring your pose with a look of incredible melancholy on his face.

“Oh, my Child of Man…”

“Malle-!?”

Before you could even begin to question him Malleus was sweeping you into a hug, burying your face in the fabric of his uniform. One of his hands held your lower back, the other cradled the back of your head so gently, oh so gently. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been hugged like this.

“The world has been incredibly cruel to you today, hasn’t it?”

Fuck. Fuck. You’d gotten so good at holding it in, at taking a deep breath and saying everything was going to be okay. But in less than a dozen words Malleus had obliterated every wall you’d so carefully constructed since arriving in Twisted Wonderland to keep from having a complete emotional meltdown. Well, there was no use trying to hold it in anymore, not with the way you were bawling into Malleus’s tailcoat, heaving like you were sure you were never going to breathe again.

But Malleus didn’t shush you, didn’t say that everything was going to be okay. He just held you tight, let you pour your emotions out into his expensive shirt, rubbed your back as your sobs became whimpers and finally soft, steady breathing once more. When you could finally pull yourself together enough to throw a sentence together, that’s when you pulled your face out of Malleus’s chest.

“How did…” You rasped. “How’d you get here? Did little buddy tell you? Are you like, psychically linked or something?”

“Ah. No, not quite. My apologies for the deception.” Malleus Draconia, looking sheepish? You never thought you’d see it. “I wanted to see what your days were like in a manner as unobtrusive as possible, so Lilia supplied the idea of a minor appearance transmutation so I could accompany you.”

“Oh. So you… Were little buddy?”

“Yes.”

“Ah. That’s… That’s kinda embarrassing.”

“How so?” You honestly should have seen it sooner, with the way Malleus looked at you with those curious, glossy-green eyes.

“I carried you around all day! I like… pet you, and stuff. You watched me almost blow myself up.”

Were your eyes deceiving you again, or was Malleus actually… Pouting? “My apologies. I never intended to make you feel this uncomfortable.”

“No! No, uh. I mean… It’s fine, really. It was nice, actually, having someone besides Grim keep me company all day. I’m glad it was you.”

He smiled, soft and warm and incredibly fond. The hand still cradling your lower back was rubbing in slow, soothing circles, nearly enough to make you doze off. “I am glad as well. I’ve always known you to be fascinating, but I never could have considered just how much weight is upon you to succeed.” He cupped your cheek, thumb running back and forth over your cheek bone. “You, my Child of Man, are unfathomably strong. Never once have I considered you to be, in your words, a “fuck-up”.”

Your breath hitched again, and you thumped a palm against Malleus’s chest. “You’re gonna make me start crying again.”

“Then I shall cease my praises. For this evening, at least.”

Eyelids fluttering, you let yourself curl closer into him, just the slightest bit.

“Thank you, Mal. For… For just everything.”

You knew that you wouldn’t be able to lie like this forever. Tomorrow you’d have to get up and stop Grim from burning the house down once again. Tomorrow you’d have to run laps and avoid getting trampled in the cafeteria and have to justify all the homework you weren’t able to get done tonight. But that was all for tomorrow. Tonight was just you, and Malleus, and what you thought was the ghost of a kiss on the center of your forehead as you drifted from the land of the waking into a, for once, peaceful slumber.

“Sleep well, my Child of Man... My love.”

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia imagines #twst #twst x reader #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #my writing #twst transformation fic #anon

1K notes · View notes

copperbadge · 2 years

Text

Having ADHD and Being A Little Punk Rock

So....a huge amount of the discourse on Tumblr around neurodiversity generally is just venting. Which is good, it’s good to vent and Tumblr is a good place for it. And I know that often, when venting, the LAST thing you want to hear is someone trying to offer help or solutions. So generally I keep my mouth shut unless someone is speaking to me specifically.

But a while back I saw someone asking (rhetorically) about what people with ADHD wish their parents had known, and I had a lot of thoughts about that which I started jotting down. Reading the various ADHD tags, I also see a lot of teens and twentysomethings with ADHD who visibly have no coping mechanisms and no way of creating them. I don’t blame the kids, and it’s not some kind of personal failing on their part; they’re young, and nobody has taught them. But I look at them and I think, A little sideways thinking would help you out so much. Then, recently, I got an ask (thank you for the permission not to respond directly) that was full of feelings about not being able to process or communicate well, and feeling a lot of negative emotions because of it.

So, maybe it’s time to just throw this out there. I want to offer some advice as Fandom Dad with forty-three years of being neurodiverse and exactly seven months of actually being aware I was neurodiverse. Which for once is actually going to be pretty helpful! Because I looked at the world and I assumed my own neurotypicality and I thought, well, okay, but fuck all that.

Allow me to explain.

I think this can apply to a number of ways in which people are neurodiverse, but I have ADHD so that’s what I’m really speaking to here. With ADHD, there’s medication, and I strongly urge people to explore that option because medication is awesome when it works. But there’s also a lot out there about how to try harder, or trick yourself into doing something in a very neurotypical way, or use systems that may not work for you. I know; I tried some too, and the sense of failure, the sense of being an ongoing failure, is terrible. So I want to offer an alternative which has helped me a great deal, and may help other people with ADHD, particularly younger people.

People of any age, but especially young people who have ADHD, should be made aware that it’s okay to suck at things, to struggle, and to fail. Even if you think you should be good at something, even if everyone around you thinks so too, it’s okay to just be garbage at it and to acknowledge that fact. But just saying “well I’m dumb and can’t do this” of course isn’t actually helpful, and harms you a great deal, because you are a living person with feelings and if you’re self-aware enough to notice, you’re also too smart to be calling yourself dumb. Acknowledging that you’re bad at something, and even acknowledging that you’d like to succeed at it, is only part one of figuring life out.

Part two is deciding what to do about it, and more importantly, how.

I was always told I was smart, but I was told “You’re smart so you should be able to do this”, not “You’re smart, so let’s come up with a way around this.” I don’t think many people are encouraged to explore why they are bad at something, to understand their own brains and thought processes which cause them to struggle.

Decades before I knew I had ADHD, I had to figure out that one of life’s most important skills is not being able to creatively solve problems but to recognize when you have to. Anyone can sit around and come up with three or four ways to solve a problem, but it’s not actually often taught that you should also be aware of when this is needed. Often, when faced with a problem that is difficult to solve, we’re taught that our reaction should be the socially approved “I just need to try harder”. Sometimes that’s true, but usually it’s not.

More often, when we feel that instinct, especially as people with ADHD, we should say instead, “I’m not going to try harder, that’s bullshit. I’m trying already. I’m going to find another way to solve this problem.” Trying harder doesn’t work, after all, when your own brain is fighting you.

So you stop and think, if there were no rules to the world, how could I do this? You don’t have to work smarter; a lot of my solutions could reasonably be described as “work dumber”. The point is to work differently in a way that helps you specifically.

Stop trying to remember to take your keys when you leave the house and get a lanyard and hang them on the doorknob; if you lose them a lot, hang the lanyard around your neck when you leave the house.

Stop pretending you’ll remember to scoop the litterbox every night and set an alarm that tells you to do it. Or don’t, that works for me but might not for you! Maybe you have to put the litterbox somewhere you’ll see it right before bed (I ALSO do this for the days I turn off the alarm and then promptly forget it happened).

There are phone charging cords in every room of my home so that I never run down my phone battery, something that is mildly inconvenient to have happen but deeply anxiety-inducing to think about for me. And now I never worry.

The point is, don’t ask how you can do better at something, ask how you can make something easier for you.

Even rewiring your brain to ask the question is a learned skill, though. You have to consciously stop when you find something is fighting you and consciously think, how can this be easier for my specific brain? If we assume I am not stupid but am in fact fighting an invisible monster, how do I make the monster visible?

Life became roughly 60% easier for me when I started thinking this way. Of all the tips for time management and list making and organizing and de-organizing you can try and implement, none of that is necessary if you know how to ask yourself, “How do I do this differently?” and come up with alternatives that suit your brain.

Especially with neurodivergence, there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to handling it, neurologically or emotionally. So I think that it’s important to be a little bit punk rock. Not necessarily in the way of defying authority but in the way of defying convention -- the ability to say “fuck you” to the Way Things Are Done and do one’s own thing is very liberating and healthy. You lose a lot of the benefits of creative problem solving if you’re also ashamed of the solutions. So I think the best trick I know of to succeed despite unmedicated ADHD is just to say “fuck you, there must be an easier way to do this.”

I’m garbage at cleaning my home (I can say that because I’m not only calling myself garbage, I’m using “I’m bad at this” as a stepping stone to solving the problem, and then I no longer feel like garbage and can joke about it with a healthy ego). I vacuum regularly and do the dishes and such but like...I don’t scrub the floors or dust or wash out the bathtub. That’s part of why I do November Cleaning -- so that at least once a year those things, that I never want to do but always think I should do, get done, but only have to be done once and at a specific designated time. So now if the bathroom floor is a bit grimy in the corners I just think, “Ah -- that’s for November” and add it to my November Cleaning list.

For my friend who struggles with communication, which is something I also used to really struggle with (and still do in some ways), one of my “make stuff easier” techniques for this was simply to...tell people.

“Hey, I tend to talk really fast when I get excited, so please tell me if I need to slow down.”

“Sorry, I have some hearing issues, I may ask you to repeat something -- it’s fine just to do it slower, I don’t need louder.”

“I’m upset and struggling, I need a minute.” (or even just “Hey where’s the bathroom?” so you can sit quietly for a moment and gather your thoughts. If you’re too upset to talk, it also helps to type them out, which I often do.)

If someone tells me something I want to remember, I’ll get out my phone and say “Sorry, I’m still listening, but I want to write that down so I won’t forget it.” I do all my writing-things-down in Google Tasks, then once I’m somewhere quiet and private I review the notes and move stuff that isn’t actually “to do” to another list. Sometimes I’ll tell someone “I’m so sorry, you just said something and I totally missed it, but it’s important to me -- can you repeat it?”

Most people find that kind of honesty, where you’re open about why you’re maybe talking at cross-purposes, really charming. It indicates that you think they are important, and you’re putting in effort to hear what they’re saying and respond to it thoughtfully.

I hope this is helpful in finding ways around some basic problems, rather than through them -- that being able to stop and think “This could be easier -- how?” is something that people can internalize and make use of. Going around a mountain rather than through it might look like it’ll take more time and energy, but it beats trying to punch through granite the whole way there.

#sam has adhd

2K notes · View notes

tommysversion · 1 year

Note

you write some of the best joel fics on this cursed site fr fr, amazing work and I have a request for a darkish!joel smut that’s inspired a little bit by the interrogation scene from ep8

Like instead of torture it’s consensual edging, and Joel is wanting the reader to say something specific, or to get her into a sub space. something like that but no pressure !! That scene just made me think… things, and wanted to share!

( thank you so much anon, I hope this is okay!)

“Look at me.” Joel taps your cheek lightly with his hand, not quite a slap, but close enough.

You turn your head to look at him, eyes glazed over with lust and sheer need for him. You wish you could touch him, but he has your hands tied, bound above your head with his belt, hooked to the bed frame.

“Are you gonna stop being such a brat and do as you’re told?” He’s not above making you wait even longer; you’d been mid fuck when you’d refused to do as you were told, and he’d simply… stopped. Keeping himself buried to the hilt inside you, but not moving. Using you to warm his cock, but giving you nothing in return.

It’s a battle of wills, and he’s far more stubborn than you are, rough fingers gripping your chin, forcing you to look at him. He can see how close to breaking you are. Even so…

“Maybe.” You can’t help it, you love to taunt him, knowing the more you tease him, the more he’ll punish you. And you’re nothing if not a sucker for punishment.

He lays an open handed slap to your ass, dragging a strangled gasp from you; he has to bite back a groan at the way you tighten around him when he hits you.

“Wrong answer.”

You open your mouth but promptly shut it again when he spanks you a second time, harder this time. A muffled squeak all that falls from your lips, swollen from his bruising kisses.

“Gonna ask you one more time, darlin’, and if you don’t answer me like a good girl, I’ll leave you tied to the bed like the disobedient slut you are.” He’d struggle like hell to walk away from you, but you don’t need to know that. He can keep up this dominant persona forever, if need be.

The threat is enough to drag you into submission; you know he’d make good on his threat, probably sit on the chair in the corner and finish himself, make you watch, unable to touch him or yourself. It’s that more than the gleam in his eye that makes you submit to him.

You nod, and he surveys you for a moment before he speaks.

“Are you gonna do as you’re told?”

He half expects you to sass him again, but he knows from the look on your face that he’s won; he’s been teasing you for too fucking long, he can feel you trying to wriggle beneath him, desperate for some sort of friction.

“Yes, sir.” Your voice is hushed, too quiet; he can barely hear you.

“Can’t hear you, darlin.” But he relents just a little, shallowly rocking his hips against yours, teasing you enough to drag you to the edge.

“Yes, sir, I’ll be a good girl.”

Your sweet voice is music to his ears, exactly what he’s wanted from you.

“There we go, sweet girl, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” His hand soothes the mark he’s left on your ass before he seizes your thigh, hoists it up tight around his waist, and resumes his brutal pace, drowning in your screams, the only sound he ever needs to hear.

#answered #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #my writing #Pedro Pascal #dark!joel miller #the last of us

622 notes · View notes

tartarusknight · 1 year

Text

The King of the Freaks | Pt 4

(Yes I am too lazy to keep writing that long title so it’s been changed from now on...)

Ao3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Eddie was kinda pissed as he stabbed at the food on his tray. "You sure they said we can't?" Gareth question, and he sounded just as Eddie felt.

"They said that we couldn't do this week," Eddie said again, and he glanced up as Steve moved to sit down next to Jeff. He was pulling something out of his backpack and it was the first time since that first time that Steve actually sat with them.

"What can't you guys do?" Steve questioned as he pulled out a container of cookies and slid them over to Jeff.

Jeff lit up even as the others looked confused. "We can't do Hellfire this week. Apparently, the drama club needs the drama room this week." Jeff explains, and Steve pauses.

His face makes a hundred micro expressions before he shrugs, "You could do it at my house. I don't really care." Steve states and moves to stand back up hit Jeff pulls him back down. "Uh, what?"

He looks confused, and it's unfair because it seems like the moment they should be confused. "Three questions. First I thought you had swimming? Second, why would you let us do it at your house? Most parents think we are a cult, and I doubt your parents would think differently. And lastly, what's up with the cookies?"

Steve looks a little embarrassed as he's forced to stay there. But he meets Eddie's gaze. "First, I do have swimming, but I don't care. Come over that night or another if you really care. Second, my parents are in either Beijing or Belgium right now, so they don't get an opinion. And the cookies are for Jeff because he helped me last weekend. He can share, or he doesn't have to, I don't care."

Eddie blinks, "you'd let us be at your house without you there?"

"Sure, why not. I doubt you'll trash the entire place. And even if you do, there's not much you could do I haven't seen before. I've had enough parties to get good at cleaning up." Steve states, and Eddie looks at the others, trying to see if they're just as confused.

"That's amazing, dude! How about we get pizza, since you'll host?" Jeff offers, and Steve gives them a tight smile. Eddie's not sure if it's because of the topic of food or the idea that they're going to take him up on the offer.

Steve nods and it’s a little sharp, “Right. Yeah just let me know date and time.” He pauses and goes back to his bag. He pauses before he can pull whatever he’s grabbed before steeling himself. “Here, just in case I’m busy.” He drops a key onto the table and practically bolts from the table.

Eddie waits for him to come back and take the key with a sike. But he doesn’t, instead Eddie sees him dodge Billy’s foot and escape out of the lunch room. “Here I thought we were adopting him.” Gareth mused and picked up the key. Jeff smacked him and took the key. “Hey!” Gareth complains.

“Yeah, I’ve actually been to his house so...” Jeff points out.

That gets Eddie back up and moving, “yeah. About that, what the hell?”

Jeff laughs, “I helped him cook. He’s been struggling with meet lately and you know my sister.” Eddie nods because it does make sense but at the same time it makes zero sense. “I bumped into him at the store...” Jeff trails off, “I think we need to try harder.”

“Harder?” Eddie squeaked and his friends gave him a look that he really wished he didn’t know.

Jeff doesn’t let that stop him though. “Well, I thought it was bad enough going from top dog to the new top dog’s chew toy but the guy is struggling. He only had condiments in his fridge even though he told me he was a good cook, which he is. Apparently he has no clue where his parents are at the moment. He had a guess but that was it. And! He has no clue when they’re coming back. I asked and he laughed it off saying maybe for Christmas. Christmas.”

“It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!” Grant states and Jeff nods.

Gareth sighs, “I’ve been bothering him during my free period. Normally just working on shit next to him... but the dude is not okay. He squints when he reads like he can’t see it well. I’m pretty sure he’s been getting migraines since he fought with Billy. And I’m 80% sure he’s partially deaf in his left ear. Cause if I whisper on that side he never responds. But he will when I sit on his right.”

“He never eats lunch,” Eddie sighs. “He always tears his food apart to make it look like he’s eating. If his fridge is empty than he might not be eating that often.”

“Well shit,” Grant sighs. “But how do we help him without it being weird.”

Eddie presses his hands together under his chin to think. “Okay, so we stop with the subtle friendship and go for it. If we’re his best friends then maybe he’ll let us help him.”

“So operation make Steve Harrington friendship bracelets is ago.” Gareth grins and Jeff throws a grape at him.

They already had access to the boy’s house. How hard could it be?

@zerokrox-bloglog @cyranyxx @adaed5 @the-redthreadd @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaringceyoustopcaring @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshitorthisshit @failedstarsandgoldencloudsds @bisexualdisastersworldd @deadlydodoss @anythingyouwanttobee @nburkhardtt @bestwifehaverr @thehumblefigtreee @megzdoodlee @swimmingbirdrunningrockk @mightbeasleepp @bxlthazarar @autumnal-dawnn @chillichatss @nonbinary-eddie-munsonon @the-daydreamer-in-the-cornerner @eddie-munson-is-my-wifewife @a-little-unsteddiedie @sharingisntkaren @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @0o-queendean-o0 @beckkthewreck @vi-an-te @vampireinthesun @newtstabber @dinosareawesome2137 @spicemallow @hellomynameismoo @luthienstormblessed @briceslayed @angeldreamsoffanfic @dbquills

#spoliers it will not be easy #but they are determined #steve won't know what hit him #and no this isn't their first steve meeting #stranger things #season 2 au #steve needs a hug #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve x eddie #corroded coffin #hellfire club #i love these idiots #everyone is a dork and i love them so much #the fallen king and the king of the freaks

728 notes · View notes

onyourhyuck · 2 years

Text

Reflections | L.DH (M)

prologue- “what do you think our children would look like?” + “I’m such a coward. Fuck it.”

tw- friends to lovers trope, they’re kinda oblivious to their feelings especially y/n, haechan is whipped as hell. mentions of smoking, drugs (like weed) and alcohol. university mention. y/n is a smart good girl and haechan is sorta the mischievous boy in her class that causes trouble. Honestly just a cute fluff romantic scenario <3

notes- heavily inspired by the song “Reflections” by the neighbourhood.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Fuck off donghyuck!”

your face scrunches in multiple wrinkles, frowning at your friend who has been a pain in your ass repeatedly by constantly pressing on your laptops keyboard which would mess up the article you will have to present in your psychology class tomorrow. you are pulling a fortnight for this piece of work and when you told your friends that you were busy that you can’t attend jaehyun’s party; one of your ‘friends’, not sure if you can call him one anymore considering he’s such an asshole right now.

Donghyuck voluntarily said he will help you out, since he’s already done this project (early) you agreed but little did you start to regret it quickly when he was simply distracting you from finishing it. Right now the time is about 4.00 am and it’s causing you to have a minor breakdown.

just a little university minor breakdown that will leave you pulling at your hair and scream, kick and maybe even few tears if it worsens.

The boy looks up at y/n flashing her a deviously smile as his voice coos singing. “I been trying to do that if you haven’t noticed, babe.”

Lips left out a small Ugh, he hears you push his face away with your flat palm as your attention turns to your laptop, pressing on the keyboards again. He whines blowing out raspberries.

“Someone’s stressed..” he sang again as he brushes forth his fingers in your hair, flicking it in the air one curly strand by another. You close your eyes letting out a harsh exhale, god you pray he just happens to pass out but knowing donghyuck- he’s a freaking nocturnal animal.

He never sleeps you swear.

“Donghyuck I would lovingly appreciate it if you… get out of my dorm.” You spat warningly. He pouts watching you. “But you said I could stay.”

“Yeah because I didn’t think you’d be a pain in my ass.”

“You should thank me I’m entertaining you.” He sassily retorts sitting up on your bed, he crawls behind you where he pushes you away from your laptop and takes it; he begins to slowly type humming. “Look I’ll help you, I can tell you’re struggling.”

you sigh. Was it really that obvious? Out of all people donghyuck really can read you as if you were a tracing paper, you were as transparent as anything; maybe it’s because you guys are closer than you would actually like to admit. People would often mistake you guys as a loving couple, hell some thought you were married considering the amount of bickering you guys do. It’s reached the point where your parents and his parents genuinely wish to see you everytime you’re with another.

As you would watch the serious expression on your friend next to you, you felt slightly like a burden. You grunt in protest reaching to snatch the laptop. “Let me do it I’m almost finished anyways—“ he would pull the laptop from your reach. “No, take a rest.”

you frown. “No I’ll finish it, hyuck.” you said back as you crawl to reach the laptop but in the end you were faced with the most stubborn boy you known to existence so you ultimately gave up with a gentle sigh. instead you place your head on his lap as he types away the last bits of words in your article.

haechan looks down at you with a soft smile, he softly pats your bangs away from your face before saving the article. he couldn’t help but tilt his head, humming.

“you know…what do you think our children would look like?”

you open your eyes, raising eyebrows at his sudden question. you croak a short smile, scoffing. “suddenly?”

he gives a soft nod. “genuine question.”

“I think they would be troublesome. Especially your children.”

he gasp slightly offended. “Uhm excuse you y/n my children are perfect just the way they are.” you snicker as you reach forward cupping his face, squishing it a little. “as if, more like devil’s offsprings.”

“What if we had children together.” he trails quietly and you softly pause, letting go off his face. “You mean…if me and you had a child together?”

he nods. “Mhm what do you think they would be like?”

“Non existent… I dunno.” you slowly shrug it away but he pouts with some sadness lingering. “Come on answer seriously.” He tells y/n as he saw you sit up on the bed. You look around your room warily.

“what do you think then?” Y/n asks the boy.

He would push the laptop on the side as he lays on the right side of your bed and you would follow his body on the left side, leaning a gap in the middle between your bodies. There was a share breathe took in. Haechan would look at y/n as if she was the missing piece all along. Though this was obvious to all of the uni campus, to y/n it was like a non existent fantasy that would never happen. You met donghyuck at your first year as freshmen, you transferred from another uni few months after and since you were the new girl, everyone wanted to be your friend. Haechan laid eyes on you when you were chosen to sit next to him in psychology and he swore he never fell in love so quickly.

It was love at first sight for him. You started as sweet friends who grew to slowly pick up a bickering relationship where you constantly play fight like small children. You think of him as someone always up to no good, a boy who is stuck in his sixteen years rather than twenty one. Not only was he the type of boy to get into trouble, he did hang around the wrong people who were bad influence.

he would get into lots of police trouble and at some point he skipped school so many times to comprehend. Yet every time something fucked him over, he calls you. Whenever he was drunk to his bones, he calls his top pinned saved number under the contact name ‘my saviour’, which is you. When he hit the darkest time of his life where his mother happened to be severally ill, he isolated himself away from the world.

who was the one who never stayed away no matter how many times he pushed people out of his life and cut them out numerous times? It was always you. No matter how much you argue with him, no matter what he does to annoy you and become a massive headache; you really can’t help but think you’re fated to him. It was a blessing and a curse.

He was your reflection. You were his reflection.

The reflection of all those bad things he has done, the hard moments in life he overcame (all thanks to you)— you were exactly that, the proven moment of how far he’s come and changed thanks to you.

“I think our children would be adorable!” He exclaims with a short smile. “I’d like a little girl that looks like you.”

“Too bad I really want a boy.” You reply back and he immediately disagrees. “No way, having a daughter is way better.”

You shrug flicking your fingers on his loose wavy hair, not lying but you always found his natural hair so attractive, the way it was wavy and curly in some areas, it covered his eyes most of the time and whenever he came to class half asleep he would barely have time to brush it; yet you loved that. His imperfections were his perfect traits.

“You’re rather serious about this topic. Did you fall for me or something?” You joke out.

He falters at your words with slow hums as he never broke eye contact with your lips. Haechan was quick to catch himself staring a little too long, so he turns away to his phone to look at the time.

“Oh shoot it’s already 4.50.” He loudly barks sitting up. “We have class in about four hours, you’ll be a total zombie if you don’t sleep now.”

You raise your eyebrows. “What about you? The boys dorms are locked already and so are the girl’s dorms. Will you just sleep at mine?” He smirks making himself comfortable on your bed as if it was his own. “You bet I am. Lay down and go to sleep already.”

“Okay dad relax, gosh.” You grumble. The moment your body was sleeping next to his you seem to have fell into a comfortable slumber. something about being in hyuck’s presence makes you feel safe…

Your body relaxes underneath the bedcovers as your lamp was turned off leaving the room cover by the midnight darkness. He was wide awake staring right at you as he lays on the side to watch your unconscious face. Smiling to himself ear to ear, the little moles on his beautiful melancholy skin stand out in the blackness of the dorm. he’d slowly run his fingers down the sides of your face, brushing the little hairs from your fringe away,

The softness of your cut bangs prickle the fingers a tiny bit, though he never minded it. your gentle breathes leaning your flaring nostrils were cute to watch, and somehow he found himself admiring your raw beauty. Messy hair, no makeup leaving only your bare face, loose tomboyish clothes that suit your figure well.

he felt like he was too close to stars, just by being with you. you were the planet that was resolving round the sun.

Haechan didn’t realise it until he was far too in the situation, his lips were subconsciously closing in the small gap between you and him; he marks the open cheek leaving a wet smooch. the kiss was short lived when he slowly backs away, with a proud smile on his face. those strong feelings only grew stronger and he felt some sort of clarity from it.

he didn’t have the courage to do anything he wished to do and say when you were wide awake. But when you were asleep, he can’t surpass on the opportunity revealing itself. Yes, he was a coward.

A coward that couldn’t express his hidden feelings that he developed exactly four years ago.

But the moment he saw a glimpse your eyelashes fluttering, your eyes adjusting to the darkness where you saw haechan’s face hovering over yours. He stands frozen like a statue, dead silence. Y/n must’ve felt her stomach twist and turn, overburden by massive butterflies flying around to escape the lower abdomen. Heart skipped a beat in unison. Breathing was on holt, making you forget how to breath.

He didn’t want to be caught. He didn’t want his relationship with you change, as much as he craved a change, he was scared of it happening in reality. Haechan would rather keep fantasising about it in his head treating it like a delusional crush that will pass. Because he never knew somebody like you.

He would rather know and keep you around instead of using you because of his personal romantic feelings he holds deeply for you. He knows you don’t feel the same way, so what was the point of confessing exactly to you? The only answer was rejection from you. He wouldn’t want to lose you just because of his selfish feelings he has.

Caught by surprise when two cold hands crawl on his sharp v-jawline, with a strong force pulling him softly in on warm lips. The boy lets out a small gaping gasp that your ears picked up. You pull away from the small kiss you gave him, watching him lovingly under the bright moonlight creeping in through the windows behind your back.

Haechan eyes you hungrily, like it was a dream of his, honestly speaking he gaslights himself to believe this was just a dream of his happening; the boy lightly pulls you by your waist underneath the bed duvet covering you both. Captivating your lips in another kiss, but this time it was much more passionate. He was taking little control over time, he explores your tongue inside and out as well as your soft lips that smell of vanilla chapsticks you always put on your lips durning class.

Who knew he could get so addicted on the fantasy he could only dream about? The real deal was so much better than haechan could ever imagine. You were his bane of existence knowing that you’re going to be the death of him. He wonders what did he do in his past life to deserve such torture for over four years, pretending to not have any feelings for you. Having to deny them to his best mates.

Having to watch you speak about guys you were finding attractive. Hell he even watched you go through a breakup once and that is what pained him the most. He fought your ex and you ended up getting pissed at him, because you weren’t aware of his feelings he held for you. Haechan swears he’d never dare make you cry. It’s the last thing he wants to do to you.

Y/n’s lips quiver against the aggressive synchronised movements as you wrap your fingers round his beautiful long curly locks. He breaks out the kiss, murmuring words you couldn’t ever imagine.

“I’m such a coward. Fuck it.” He tells to no one specific but only himself, as if it was a pep talk.

“I love you, y/n.”

Brave words coming to the surface just like the colour rushing to his cheeks, thankfully the darkness covers it enough that you wouldn’t be able to see how nervous he was to the point he would be blushing like a twelve year old boy confessing to his first love; the giddy little feelings you’d thing was left behind in his puberty years, weren’t really gone.

“Hyuck..” you mutter as you watch him, seeing the girl’s eyes tremble a little as your fingers slowly unlock from the hair. You trace your hands around his face bringing him in a warm embrace close to your necktie where he rests just above the chin.

He was preparing himself for a rejection. Closed eyes shut as he enjoys the last embrace that he managed to make himself believe that it was the last time he will ever see you, ever speak to you and the humiliation will traumatise him truly. He was scared.

But when your soft voice haunts his mind with a twist of words that he never believed at first before his pupils open wide, face rushing to the surface to watch you as the only light source was from the bright full moon.

“I love you too. Always have.”

Maybe…maybe this wasn’t a dream. Haechan prays it wasn’t.

He never knew he found someone that fell just as hard as he did, because the moment his eyes laid on round bambi eyes he swore he saw his own reflection in your eyes.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating, copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu <3 reblog this fic and follow me for more it helps a girl out.

#nct fanfiction #nct smut #nct x reader #nct u scenarios #nct hard hours #nct dream #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #haechan nct dream #haechan hard hours #haechan fanfic #haechan fluff #haechan smut #haechan scenarios #nct fic #nct recs #nct haechan #nct fanfic

1K notes · View notes

shadeysprings · 10 months

Text

OxyTOXIN - Epilogue

—Lloyd Hansen x F!Reader

Summary — The truth about Lloyd's change breaks you in more ways than one.

Warnings — implied n0nc0n, violence, Lloyd being very mean, and some other dark themes.

A/N — Still on my break from this site but I thought I'd give you guys this one tonight. Unbeta so may be sloppy.

As always, your feedback is highly appreciated and your reblogs would be amazing. And of course, I hope y'all enjoy! ❤️

It’s been days since Lloyd came home, days since he almost killed you.

Since returning from his work trip, your relationship with Lloyd has changed drastically. No longer does he look at you with love in his eyes, instead, his stares are intimidating, and menacing, making you walk on eggshells around him for fear that if you make a wrong move he would once again try to attack you.

And his touches, gone are times he would hold you as if you were a delicate flower. Now, he paws at you greedily and when you would object, he would get rough, leaving bruises on your skin with the harsh way he would grab you.

You don’t understand why he’s acting this way, why he’s treating you as nothing more but a toy to play with. At nights, after he’s finished taking you, you’d rack your brain trying to think of reasons he would suddenly make you feel as if you meant nothing to him.

You’ve never cheated on him, never lied to him, he knew all your secrets despite you knowing so little about him. You trusted him with your life and most of all, loved him with all your heart. You thought he felt the same, he showed you he did—made you feel like he did, but now, you don’t know.

So you made your decision and packed your bags, a letter left on the side of his bed. He’s not the Lloyd you fell in love with, you’re not even sure if he would ever come back but one thing you’re certain of is that this is not the life you envision yourself having, not the life you wish to die in.

It’s already midnight and he still hasn’t come back from when he left that morning, a sign you take as a relief but also one that breaks your heart. Grabbing your bag, you tiptoe down the hall, still cautious not to make a sound; the living room is still dark after you’ve cleaned up the house.

You double-check your phone, rereading Riley’s last message. She’s still at your old apartment and your old bedroom still vacant. She’s more than happy to have you back and without you even realizing it, you missed her terribly. Maybe she could help you understand why Lloyd has been acting in such a way, maybe she can help you move on.

Slowly, you make your way to the front door, ready to say goodbye to the life you’ve learned to love but before you could even take hold of the knob, a lamp flickers on and you stand in shock to see Lloyd sitting on the armchair, a bloody gash decorating his cheek and his hair disheveled.

Your first instinct is to go to him, to ask what happened but you stop when he asks, “Just where do you think you’re going?” There’s ice in his voice, anger boiling deep within, and immediately, the concern you felt earlier recoils and is now replaced with fear.

You take a step back when he stands from his seat, your hand slackening and dropping your bag with a thud on the marble floor. You try to speak, to tell him that you’re done enduring the pain he continues to bring you but you don’t get the chance when he lunges at you, his hand grabbing your arms and pinning you against the door, the back of your head hitting the wooden surface.

“You think you can leave me?” He snarls, eyes dark and unloving. “As soon as you step out that door, you have nothing. Nothing but me.”

“I’d rather have nothing than be with you!” You shout, eyes brimming with tears as you struggle against his hold.

But his reaction takes you off guard, the rage in his eyes dwindling down and his lips twitching to a frown. His hold on you softens, completely releasing you but keeping his hands pressed against the door.

“What?” He asks, voice soft and uncertain. “You’d rather not have me?”

“I’m just confused, Lloyd!” You cry, covering your face with your hands as you do. “Since you came back, it feels like you changed. You keep hurting me and you always look at me like I’ve done something wrong.” You sniff, unable to compose yourself any longer with how your emotions continue spilling out of you. “As much as it hurts me to leave you, I cannot take this anymore! You’re not the man I fell in love with.”

You did it. You let your heart out and you only pray that Lloyd would truly release you from your misery. But his hands move and press gently against your face, thumbs wiping away the tears that spill non-stop. He frowns and breathes out heavily before wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight against him.

The confusion takes you back but it dies out almost instantly. You clutch him tight and sob against his shirt, keeping him close as your heart blooms upon feeling that gentle touch once more.

“Little Doll—I’m so sorry.” He mutters against your hair, his hand caressing your back and then cradling the back of your head.

“I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” You mumble against his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

But the peace that cocoons you is disrupted by a laugh, sickening and taunting, and you pull away only to look up at Lloyd who gives you a playful smirk, wincing when the hand around the back of your neck tightens.

“What made you think I did?”

“Wha—” You’re once again pushed against the door, harder this time and the fear only floods back tenfold when you see the devilish smile on his face. “Lloyd—I don’t understand.”

“Oh come on.” He groans. “Did you really think someone would fall in love with you?” He looks you up and down, disgust etched on his face. “You’re holes are the only thing good about you—maybe your cooking too but that's it. I never loved you. I was bored so I played the role of the perfect boyfriend to see if I can fool some floozy and it worked.” He laughs once more but you can’t hear it against the deafening shatter of your heart.

He fooled you. He used you. And you were stupid enough to fall for it.

“But I got bored of that too and now, I’m back to doing things how it should be.” He snickers and gives your head a pet, moving your face away when he tries to place a kiss on your forehead.

You feel nothing but anger and pain, your vein seering in rage as you stare up at the man who you once thought was the love you’ve been searching for. You try to pull away from him, intent on pushing on with your plan of leaving. Yet such an attempt is fruitless when he slaps you across the face, shocking you once more and you gasp and claw at his arm when he grabs you by the neck, your head getting heavy when he squeezes.

“But I’m not done with you yet—in fact, I might keep you for a while. Play with you a little longer.” He then gropes your tit through your shirt, giving it a hard squeeze before his hand trails down your stomach and to your dress, lifting the skirt up your waist.

“And guess what time it is little doll.” Another gasp is pulled from your throat when he rips the fabric of your skirt, the sound of his zipper filling your ears. “It’s time to play.”

#lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #the gray man #au #oxytoxin #shadeysprings fics #chris evans characters

237 notes · View notes

daylite-writes · 9 months

Note

arlecchino and any character you want with a pretty mermaid/fairy s/o to show off

“Falling Tides” — Yandere!Alrlechinno x Mermaid!Reader

After an incident with Fontaine’s mechanical fishing boats, you are left to rely on humans to help you heal. Unfortunately, all of them don’t have good intentions.

cw: drugging, implied kidnapping, drowning (kinda? Reader has gills but is held underwater against her will for a sec),

~~~

“The beauty of my homeland can never be overstated, but darling, you must be the pinnacle of it all…” She said, stepping forward to lift your chin with the tips of her claws. The strange woman smiled as you said nothing, pulling away to pace the edge of your… pool? Tank?

You’d been there a few days, slowly healing ever since your bloody encounter with Fontaine’s overly mechanical fishing boats. It had almost ground your tale to its bones. Luckily, the workers saw you struggling against the machine and pulled you free before more than a few long bloody scrapes across your tail and a couple dozen scales lost.

“Hello…?” you croaked out, trying to speak the difficult human language. It was always easier to listen than to speak it.

“Hello.” She smiled down at you, towering over you from where you swam in the pool.

“Here to help?” You asked, not quite knowing how to ask if she was one of the doctors or not.

“I suppose.”

So she was! Victoriously, you grinned, shark teeth flashing. “I'm going home soon?”

“Ah,” she grinned, coming down to kneel at the edge of the water, you swam up to her with little fear, meeting her face to face. Her eyes seemed to twinkle. “You must believe me to be one of the little doctors helping you recover. You are lucky mer are a species favored by the archon, otherwise you’d be left to the elements. Or to be ground up by their machines.”

The wistful sigh as she reached out to hold a lock of your hair confused you. “Not here to help?”

“No. Oh goodness no.” She shook her head, laughing slightly. “I just came to see you. Even as a little girl I dreamt of mermaids. So ethereal. So perfect.”

Her hands, clawed at the tip, reached out slowly to glide over the ends of your hair.

“I’d love to hear you sing, darling.”

With your limited understanding of human language, you couldn’t quite understand everything she said, but one word stood out. One you knew well. Sing.

“You want a song?” So that’s why she was here. Mer were no strangers to humans seeking them out to listen to their voice.

“Desperately.” She said, her voice breathy and low, eyes trained on you and only you.

“What song?”

“Anything. Anything so long as it comes from you.”

You nodded, before taking a deep breath.

The song was an echoing melody bare of any words, instead made up of flowing stretches of songs and whistles, like the whales that one roamed the land.

She gave a soft sigh.

When the song ended, you realized you had unconsciously closed your eyes, a common habit of yours. When you opened them though, you almost wish you hadn’t.

The woman looked ecstatic. No. Obsessed. Eyes wide, breath labored. Her face morphed into a grin. “Amazing. You’re simply amazing.”

She stood up, eyes still trained intensely on yours.

“Breathtaking.” She turned her head to the side, eyes locking onto something you couldn’t see. “Do it.”

Something clicked, and the water in your tank turned warm as the pipes released a dark, inky liquid into the water.

Alarmed, you looked around you with wide eyes. What was happening?

“Oh, I suppose I haven’t introduced myself. I am Arlecchino. You will know me well soon enough.”

You spun around to look up at her. She looked almost pleased. Didn’t she understand you were in danger?

“H-help!” You stuttered out, using your arms to hold onto the edge of the tank to lift your torso above the contaminated water.

“Unfortunately.” The clack of her shoes signaled her approach, but you didn’t dare look away from the rapidly darkening waters beneath you. “That is not what’s about to happen.”

She pushed you away from the edge, straight into the water. It tasted sweet and sticky in your lungs and gills.

She was a predator, not a friend, you realized then. You pulled back, turning away and diving into the deep end of your tank. You’d rather be in the contaminated tank than with her. Your voice was loud and clear even from under several feet of water. “Leave!”

“Oh hush.” Arlecchino said, pacing the edge of your tank. “It’s hardly dangerous.”

You blinked, slow. Heavy labored breaths brought the contaminant into your bloodstream quickly.

With your head pulsing and your vision swaying, it was no surprise you didn’t realize she entered your pool. You were far too busy trying to keep yourself away.

The ink in the water, that must be it. Deciding to take your chance with the woman above instead of the drugged water below, you made a move for the surface.

You didn’t make it. Strong arms wrapped around your torso, then a hand came up to hold your head still by the hair.

You thrashed, but Arlecchino held you under, your panic forcing you to breathe the sticky sweet flavor the water had taken on. If you were any less panicked, you’d have noticed the way one of her hands shifted to stroke down your ribs, sharp nails tracking the fluttering of your breath. Until all at once, your fighting stopped, and you laid limp in her arms.

The last thing you saw before floating away was a Cheshire grin as she finally, finally, lifted you free from the water.

~~~

an: sorry if.this took so long and isn’t quite what was asked for! I don’t often do stuff established relationships. Also just stuck to Arlechinno because I don’t have the brain juice to do two. Hope it was enjoyable though!

#genshin fanfic #yandere Genshin #yandere arlecchino #yandere arlecchino x reader #arlecchino

219 notes · View notes

mapileonxputellas · 1 year

Text

Only you (Alexia Putellas x Reader Part 2)

Ok so I originally wasn't going to do a part 2 but you persuaded me. Part one can be found here 2.2k words x

Thank you mi hermosa, I don’t know if you’ve read my other messages but I love you. I’ll fix this x

Of course you’d read the continuous messages she’d sent you over the week. You don’t know how she finally realised the issue, whether she was told or worked it our herself but it was clear she knew. Every morning you would wake up to a little message from her and every night she wished you goodnight. The days were varied, some had frequent messages others had only a few but there were always some.

You never replied. That single message after the match the only one you sent that week. You couldn’t talk to her and pretend like the only thing you were thinking about wasn’t Sofia. How much better suited they were. How you would never be enough for Alexia.

You were trying to go to sleep the night of the final, but just like always you hated sleeping alone. Alexia’s presence in your bed had almost been a constant at one point and now you struggled to fall asleep in the cold bed, her arm not strung across your waist and her light breathing not drowning out the silence around you. You tried to occupy your mind but it always went back to her. She’d probably be partying with her team, you knew they were scheduled to fly back immediately after the final and any trophy always called for a celebration.

A bang at the door startled you, thinking it was some kind of prankster you hoped they would knock once and then leave but when it happened again, and again, and again you realised they weren’t about to go away.

You didn’t live in a rough area but it also wasn’t filled with the rich and famous. This wasn’t the first time you would have dealt with young groups trying to prank you, knowing that the only way to get rid of them was to answer the door. Your stern face didn’t exactly match the fluffy pink pyjamas you had worn to bed but that didn’t even enter your mind.

Top actors could only dream of replicating the surprise yet horror on your face as you opened the door ready to scream at whoever was there but instead you were met by the one woman who had been on your mind all night. Stood there alone, tear marks evident down her face as she almost started crying again at the mere sight of you.

“What are you doing here Ale?” You couldn’t help but sigh, no matter how much her actions had inadvertently hurt you in the past you still hated seeing her upset.

“I couldn’t wait any longer to see you.”

“It’s almost 1 Ale, I’m not doing this right now.”

“I’m sorry I completely forgot that you could have been asleep, did I wake you?” You could see the panic in her eyes that she might have caused further trouble.

“You didn’t, I’m finding it hard to get to sleep right now.” It was like your brain and your mouth weren’t connected. Your brain was telling you to shut the door right now but your mouth suddenly blurted out your problems. “You should probably go get some sleep too.”

“Not without knowing what’s going to happen to us. I’m so scared that I’ve already lost you.”

“Ale….”

“Please Y/N, I know I don’t deserve it and I know you probably hate me already but…”

“I don’t hate you.” Even with all the hurt you felt you couldn’t stand seeing her crying and upset like this. “I’m not doing this tonight but maybe you can stay. Just to sleep.”

She accepted that offer, quickly making her way up to your bedroom and to her side of the bed, letting you curl up in her arms with your head resting on her chest. “I won’t give up without a fight Y/N. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

…..

You hated admitting it but that’s the best night sleep you’d had in a long time. For a moment you almost forgot all the issues, falling asleep in her arms and then waking up like you usually would on a Sunday, the smell of bacon wafting through your house.

Quickly freshening yourself up, you made sure you put on your stern face before you made your way downstairs. It would take a lot more than this to fix what had happened and you couldn’t let her get away with it that easily.

It was hard to keep that up though as you walked into the kitchen, finding her at the stove with just your shirt on and quietly humming along to the radio.

“Hola.” You were knocked out of your trance with her greeting and small smile. “Please sit down, it’s almost done.”

Never in your life have you ever had this much awkwardness tension between you both. You busied yourself pouring you both a cup of coffee from the pot and an orange juice as she plated up the food. You ate in silence, each of you occasionally looking up willing yourself to start the conversation and then cowardly putting your head back down.

You almost couldn’t write it, just as you finished with your food, The both of you awkwardly drinking your coffee when your song came on the radio. The very song that merely two weeks ago would have put a smile on your face but now just gave you memories of that night. The very reason you were now in this situation.

“I guess we should talk about it then rather than just sit here all morning.” You started. “Is Sofia about to turn up because she’s about as much a part of this relationship as I am?”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Do I because every time we go out it’s like she turns up? I’m constantly having to fight just to even have an ounce of your attention.”

“Except from that first time I’ve never once invited her out with us. I don’t know how she’s even finding out where we are.”

“That doesn’t excuse the fact that when she is there you act like she’s the only person you want to be with. It’s like you’re still in love with her.”

“I’m not.” The speed of her response at any other time would have indicated the truth in her words but right now it meant very little. “I love you Y/N.”

“That’s so hard to believe when last week you didn’t even want to dance with me, every invitation I gave you was just thrown back in my face. You spent more time talking about Sofia’s promotion than you did celebrating my birthday.”

“I can’t explain to you how sorry I am. Like I literally feel terrible. Sofia and I we didn’t work for a reason, she’s in my past now. I only see her as my friend, then Keira mentioned about it being weird and Lucy said something as well. I didn’t realise how it could seem to them but most importantly to you.”

“It’s like I’ll never be enough Ale, I’ll never be her.” Realising just how upset you were by this and the root cause of the troubles you’d been having, Ale knelt down in front of you, taking your hands in her own.

“You’ll never be Sofia, Y/N. But I don’t want you to be her, I want you to be you because that’s the person I’m in love with.”

“I’ll never be a football geek Ale, I’ll never have this high powered job. I’ll never match what you deserve.”

“I couldn’t care less about your job, I couldn’t care less about how much you love football. I love who you are as a person. I love how passionate you are about what you do. I love how you support me and care for me. I love how you take Nala on a walk when I’m having a bad day. I love how much my family adores you.”

“You family adores Sofia too.” You argued, sometimes them bringing her up hurt more than her showing up.

“You have no idea how much they adore you, whenever I go round they always ask about you, only you. Alba mentioned you coming on our family holiday before I could even suggest it. They like Sofia as my friend but they pushed me to ask you out.”

“Really?”

“Really, I know this isn’t a short fix. I know I’ll have to work my way back into your good books but I’m ready to put in that work.”

“What about Sofia?”

“She’s pushed the line with this and I can see that now. I’ll message her, set some boundaries. You can see the messages if you want.”

“I trust you Ale.” This whole thing was never about trust and you wanted to assure her of that. “But this needs some sort of change.”

“I know and I’ll do that.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the realisation that not only was this going to change but this was going to change because of Ale stepping up for your feelings. “Thank you.” You whispered, reaching for her hand to pull her onto your lap. “I love you Ale.”

“I love you too.”

….

The next Barcelona team night out was for Jana’s 21st birthday. Thankfully for you the international girls had returned from their break, so Keira and Ingrid were there to catch up with.

The major difference though from the last night out was the reassurance Ale gave you through the night. When you were sat down there was constant contact between you both, you danced together and laughed at each other as we danced with our friends and the birthday girl.

You were expecting Sofia to be there and your suspicions were deemed correct when she walked into the club with Patri’s girlfriend.

It didn’t take her long to come over to your table, yourself and Ale joined by Ingrid, Mapi, Rolfo, Keira and Lucy.

“Hey guys.” She said, conveniently standing at the head of the table next to Ale. Resting a hand on her shoulder you could see Ale tense as she squeezed your thigh and shuffled closer to you so the hand dropped. “Hi Ale.”

“Hi Sofia.” You could see Sofia’s face drop as Ale immediately stood up, taking your hand in her own. “Come on let’s dance.”

“Oh I was just about to suggest a dance.” The girl didn’t give up.

“Sorry this is just for Y/N and I. We love this song.” You’d never even heard of this song but you weren’t about to go against her point, letting her drag you into the middle of the dancefloor. “Do you want a dance then?”

“Always with you.”

You managed to avoid her for the rest of the night, thinking you’d got away with just one interaction with her when you spotted a figure coming out to you as you both waited for your taxi.

“Ale wait.” You had to hold in your groan as Sofia shouted over to you. Your pleas for the taxi to come quicker were left unanswered as she reached you, instantly reaching out to touch Ale again. “I haven’t had the chance to speak to you alone tonight. I thought we could catch up.”

“Sofia, you read my message right?”

“But that didn’t say anything about not being friends.” You’d read the message Ale had sent the afternoon after your talk. She made it clear that it wasn’t ok for her to be at your dates or to corner her at events. She couldn’t call Ale late at night to pick her up from the club. Lastly making it clear that she loved you and Ale wouldn’t put up with her disrespecting you in any way.

“I can’t be friends with someone who’s been almost stalking me for the past six months. How have you even been able to do that?”

“I thought you would want to spend time with me after the theatre trip, I ask around for you. I just wanted to spend time with you,”

“Well don’t, I thought I loved you in the past but that’s over now. I’m with Y/N, I love her. You can’t do this anymore Sofia, you’re clinging to a rope which isn’t even there anymore.”

If she hadn’t been manipulating this whole situation up to now you would have felt sorry for her. You could see in her eyes she still loved Ale and maybe now was the first time she’s truly recognised that this love has gone from Ale. “I’ll leave you both alone.”

“Thank you.” This is the first time you’d contributed to the conversation but you had to do this. “I hope you find happiness Sofia.”

“Thank you.”

The taxi arriving gave you the perfect opportunity to slip away from the conversation, leaving her stood on the side of the road as you cuddled together in the back of the vehicle. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

#alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #woso #woso imagine #woso imagines #woso x reader #barcelona femeni #barcelona femeni imagine #barcelona femeni x reader #espwnt x reader #espwnt imagine #espwnt

668 notes · View notes