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skipper1331 · 2 days

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Secret (4) // Alexia Putellas

a/n: final part:)

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

When Alexia arrived at home, she thought about the next day, the next week and the following months.

She was ready to fight for you.

And even if there's no chance of ending up together, at least she would have tried.

She wanted you to be hers.

But she also knew that it would take time for you to trust her again.

The two of you had to start over, getting to know each other like when you joined Barcelona.

She was ready to fight for months, even years if that meant being yours someday.

Shy smiles

Alexia started to send you a shy smile each morning when you entered the locker room, her cheeks turning red most of the time when you caught her staring at you.

It was weird at first as you saw the glint in her eyes - she had a plan in mind - but nonetheless you accepted the small acknowledgment from her. It was a nice way to start the day. And you had to admit, catching her staring at you made your heart flutter.

Greetings and good byes

Growing up with the rule: 'everybody gets greeted and a goodbye' you enjoyed it very much when Alexia started to say 'hola' and 'adios'.

But what you even more appreciated was when she greeted you specifically.

Alexia entered the changing room rather late for her standards, most of the girls already getting ready for training.

"good morning" she said to your teammates before walking over to her cubby, passing yours, "hola y/n" she smiled, her cheeks turning red when you looked up at her with wide eyes. You hadn‘t expected that - she talked to you, in a room full of people.

"Hi" you whispered, watching the girl walk away.

Both of you had red cheeks, this simple interaction making your heart race. What was her plan? She hadn‘t approached you properly since the flower incident, was that her way of fighting? What was her way of fighting for you?

She surprised you a second time that day when she came to see you in the physio room.

In training, you had fallen awkwardly on your wrist, resulting in some pain which had to be checked. It wasn’t something tragic, but better safe than sorry.

Running through the tests with the physio, you got interrupted by a knock, Alexia appearing in the door frame, "just wanted to say bye" she smiled, the same shy smile appearing on her face which you‘ve had met many times before.

"So, um, bye?"

You chuckled at her nervousness, "bye"

"Sí, bye!" with that she rushed out, closing the door.

And like that the 'hi' and 'bye' continued for awhile.

Talking

"I‘ve finally finished watching the show, it was awesome" Alexia randomly stated as you walked next to each other towards the pitch, "I really liked how it ended"

"Right?! It was a great plot twist" you knew immediately which show she meant - the one you had recommended.

"Sí, sí. it made so much sense"

you fell easily into the conversation, sharing your opinions about the plot, characters and scenes and continued to do so until training started.

Seeing the two of you talk with one another became a regular occurrence, Ingrid, Mapi and Frido keeping an eye on both of you as they suspected something more soon, not knowing there had been already and Alexia was working on getting back together.

friends

Over the next few months, the two of you became friends, best friends if you were completely honest. and even though, both of you loved the other one more than anything was that an important step in your relationship. You had learned to start over again, getting to know each other like the very first time.

But you couldn’t lie, it was hard at times. Sometimes, it took every inch of self control… for both of you.

It was a hot day, everybody exhausted after the intense training session. most of the girls dropped on the floor, sitting there for a few minutes to calm down while they drank water. Ale was talking to Mapi and Irene while you stood there, drowning half of the water bottle. Your eyes kept glancing at Alexia, the girls shirt rolled up as she every now and then wiped away the sweat from her face.

That‘s when idea popped up in your head. With a few steps you stood in front of the three Spaniards, shielding Alexia from the sun, "just stay like that" she said, smiling, leaning back on her arms.

"Are you hot?" you asked, a mischief smile on your face.

"Are you not?" she replied, her eyes closed as she appreciated the shade.

"Let‘s cool you down then!" you laughed, pouring your water bottle over her. The midfielder gasped, one hand wiping away the water as the girls laughed, Alexia glaring at you, "you better start running" she growled.

And that‘s what you did. You ran over the pitch, Alexia already running after you before you ran into the facility, not knowing where else to go. La reina caught up to you when you entered the locker room, her arms gripping your waist before she pushed you against the wall.

With fear in your eyes, you looked at her, shyly grinning, "cooled you down, didn’t it?"

"Cheeky as always, hm?" she leaned her body against yours, both of you so close that you could feel her breath fanning against your skin.

"You‘re so beautiful" the girl admired, completely lost in your beauty, as your eyes flickered between hers and her lips.

In that moment, both of you wanted to kiss each other, feeling the blood rush through your veins, stomaches full of butterflies - you didn‘t know you were leaning in until Alexia took a step back, "this wouldn’t be right" she whispered as she wanted to kiss you just as much, "and I want to make things right." you closed your eyes for a brief of a moment, inhaling the scent you loved so dearly and enjoying the proximity until it was gone - she was gone.

date?

At some point, these kind of situations happened more often, almost everyday. Alexia caught herself wanting to and almost calling you 'amor' while you weren‘t driving to your home but in the direction of Alexia‘s house.

It was confusing for the both of you.

You loved each other but somehow it felt like new butterflies discovered the surface. You got to know one another in a different way - in a way that neither of you knew before.

The combination of the new and old butterflies caused a feeling that you never felt before. The old merged with the new and turned out to be strong. very strong.

So strong…

…that you couldn’t go to bed without thinking of Alexia- without imagining your future together.

…that Alexia was now 24/7 in your mind, or maybe even longer.

Per se, it wasn‘t different to the things you felt before but it was definitely more present and more intense. Maybe it was the acknowledgement of you as a person in training, outside of the facility and in general that made everything so special.

Alexia interpreted these situations as a sign. As a sign that now the moment had come - the moment she had been working towards for months. Now was the time to ask you for a second chance. For a date.

"Wait a moment" Alexia called after you as you walked to your car.

You stopped in your tracks, turning around, "yes?" you asked.

Alexia was nervous, you could tell by the way she played with the ring on her finger, her eyes darted around or foot tapping the floor rapidly. "Would- I would- um- I thought- maybe- um" taking her hand, you caressed the back of it with your thumb - it felt so natural.

"Breathe in, breath out"

Alexia followed your instructions, squeezing your hand for her own reassurance and sake.

"Thank you"

"Do you want to try again?" you asked, smiling lovingly.

"Sí" she took a deep breath, "do you want to go on a date with me?"

In trance, you pulled your hand away, stepping back, "I’d like to take you out to the restaurant Frido suggested"

"Take out?"

"Yes- wait no! I mean- eating in the restaurant"

"Like an actual date?" you sounded so surprised that it broke Alexia‘s heart at the way your eyes lit up and the way your smile reached the corner of your eyes.

"Yes, an actual date. Outside of our apartments. Only if you want to, of course"

"I‘d love to" Alexia thought your smile couldn’t get any bigger but oh, she was wrong.

With confidence, she stated, "I‘ll pick you up tomorrow at 7. wear the nicest clothes you have" happily, she pressed a peck to your cheek before skipping over to her car.

You said yes!

chance?

"What’s that?" you asked, confused about the item Ale held in her hand.

"It‘s a notebook" she replied, shuffling with her feet as you stood in front of your door, the girl insisting on walking you home after your date, "i, um, haven‘t been romantic before and i-" nervously she scratched the back of her neck, a habit of her when she got anxious, "I want to be romantic." her cheeks covered in a blush. You raised a brow, even more confused - what was going on..?

She pressed a kiss to your cheek instead of answering your questioning look, hurrying away before you could say anything.

Rushing inside, throwing your shoes somewhere, you quickly got comfortable on the couch. As you opened the little notebook you were met with Alexia‘s handwriting.

20th August

Today, I started. I smiled at her - she returned my smile. My heart fluttered at the sight of her, she‘s so gorgeous and her smile is so incredibly breathtaking. It wasn‘t her There-is-a-puppy!-smile (which is one of my favourites) or the bright wide smile that reaches the corner of her eyes (which I absolutely love) - it was much more than that. For me, it felt like a chance.

28th August

I can‘t help but drool at the sight of her. Especially after a won game. She‘s my Barcelona.

12th September

I said hi and bye today. Bye turned out to be a lot harder because she fell in training and hurt herself. It was very hard for me not to approach her then and there, I was so worried. Her nose scrunched up in pain when her wrist was touched or she tried to move - I hate seeing her in pain.

I hope she doesn’t think I’m weird because I disturbed the physio tests, I just wanted to see her (and of course, say adios).

13th September

I love her.

Entries like that filled the book, every step (and achievement) in her plan was documented and sometimes there were just adoration entries - pages about how pretty you are, what she likes about you, what you love, your character and habits described down to the smallest detail and so much more. It was clear to say that she loved you. And that she regretted everything (pages of explanations, apologies and regret showing that very clearly)

Two entries caught you off guard though, you didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry.

1st March

Dear diary - I guess it‘s a diary, isn‘t it? Correct me if I’m wrong..

Anyways.

Dear diary, it‘s almost midnight at the moment and Mapi just left. I had invited mama, alba and Mapi for dinner tonight, I had to talk to them about y/n. I should have done that ages ago but better late than never?

I told them about y/n, that we were a couple, that I kept her a secret, offered Alba money to keep her mouth shut - I told them everything. No, I’m not proud about how I treated the love of my life but they needed to know. I had to talk to someone. I have told mama about her before that already, not everything but she knew enough to know that I fucked up badly. Now, all of them know everything (not that we had sex, a lot of that too - just the.. yeah I think you get the point).

I want inner peace and it‘s already hard enough without her in my life, so that was the least I could to do to come in terms with myself, even though I will never forgive myself or won‘t regret it for the rest of my life.

Mama was not happy with me but I didn’t expect something else. She hadn’t raised me to be an ass and is very disappointed in me. I can’t blame her.

Alba was quiet most of the time, i think she is the one who understands most. My sister was the first and only one who knew about y/n. She saw what an idiot I was and how rude I acted towards the girl I love. I offered her money - how pathetic…

She got under my skin while she flirted with y/n and she knew that. She made me purposely jealous. And I deserved to feel that rage because I let y/n slip out of my hands while I knew that she loved me more than anything.

Mapi stayed here the longest, because I told her about my plan on winning my girl back. I want her. I need her. I don‘t deserve her, I truly don‘t but I can’t stop trying, can I? I‘m in love with her, I’ve never felt something so strong for anyone before. It scares me.

Mapi isn‘t proud of my behavior either because she knows what a ray of sunshine and pure soul y/n is but is willing to help when i need her.

…

22nd April (today’s date)

I‘m sorry for everything. There hasn’t been a day where I’m not regretting letting you walk through that door.

I hate myself for being so scared, selfish and rude but I love you. I love you with all my heart and every inch of my body - that hasn‘t changed.

You are probably surprised about the change of perspective who I’m talking to but I know you are clever, you know I’m talking to you, y/n.

Or questioning why I’m even addressing it to you, but i think, you will know me the best when you read all of my thoughts. It’s hard for me to let my walls down, I know you know that, and I want to give you the chance to see all of me to the time you weren’t my girlfriend and understand the reasons of my actions to- well, everything.

Right now, it‘s an hour before our date and I’m so nervous yet so excited. I want to make things right. I don‘t want to hide you, I want to show the world how incredible and gorgeous you are and how in love I am with you because I am. I think about you all day everyday. It might sound crazy but you are the one for me, I’ve Imagined our wedding multiple times, little y/n‘s running around calling for their mama.

I love you, I really do.

And no matter the outcome of this date, I will always love you, even when we don’t end up together. I promise you to love you from afar and forever so. And if you should ever not have a home - mine will be forever yours. I will always let that door open for you..

Happy ending?

Alexia took you out on multiple dates: the beach, mini golf, the cinema, every romantic place she could think of. She didn‘t hide you and the attention you got from her was making you feel special.

You felt free.

You felt happy.

You fell in love with her all over again.

And you enjoyed every second of it.

The romance you always dreamed of became your reality. It was different than before with her. You both were full of life. It felt natural to hold hands as you walked down the streets, share kisses in the rain, or have a hearty argument in the restaurant over who paid for the meal (spoiler: la reina always won) yet things weren’t official. Alexia had the question resting on her tongue, not sure if it was right to ask you. She wanted to, she really did, but in the back of her mind, she always heard a voice "you‘re not good enough. You‘ve fucked up before. She‘ll never give you another chance" however Alexia wasn‘t the same - she wasn’t scared anymore. She was ready to show everybody how in love she was with you. She couldn‘t care less what the media would say about the two of you being together or what other people think about you.

She just wanted you.

So, she fought against the urge to believe the voice in the back of her head. She was stronger than that.

Your body was leaned against Alexia, her arms snuggled around you as your legs tangled together, her head resting on your shoulder as you watched some netflix show. The atmosphere was quiet and relaxing, the moment seemed perfect.

"I never want to let you walk through that door again, at least not without me holding your hand" she whispered, her grip tightening around your waist, "I’m forever sorry that I ever did, I promise."

Your heart stopped, everything before hadn’t been brought up since her shy smiles - the start of something new - "if you let me, I will show you every day that you‘re not my secret. That you are my girlfriend"

turning in her hold, you looked at her. Had she fought enough? Did she deserve to be forgiven? Will it be the truth that you won’t be her secret?

She showed you.

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, la reina?" you asked, smiling, pushing all the negative thoughts away.

She deserved another chance.

"Sí"

It will be the truth.

"Then ask me"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" her heart stopped beating, her hopes high for a positive responds, her nerves at its highest.

"Yes"

Relief washing over her as she heard the answer.

no secret

The girls knew right away that the two of you were a couple as you walked into the locker room with intertwined hands.

In training, Alexia would stay close to you, preferably touching you (an arm around your shoulder, hand resting on the small of you back, etc) and constantly engaging you in a conversation.

"Finally asked her out, hm?" Ingrid teased Alexia as she stood next to Mapi, Ale‘s hand tightening on your waist. While the Norse‘s comment was meant innocently, the three of you froze - Ingrid still didn't know the whole story.

"Yeah, took me a bit to realize that she’s special" Alexia said, eyes finding yours. Her eyes were questions marks - are you alright? was this okay? In responds, you quickly pecked her cheek.

As you turned back to Ingrid and Mapi, you left Ale’s touch, throwing an arm around your best friend, "What about a double date?" you asked excitedly, knowing the Norwegian woman would agree in an instant.

In the background, you heard Mapi groan, playfully shoving your girlfriend, "I’m blaming you for this" as she listened to Ingrid and you planning where you would go. Nonetheless both Spaniards followed you to the changing room like lost puppies, eyes full of hearts as love glowed around them.

It was save to say, that double dates became a regular occurrence.

"Amor? Can we talk about something?" the girl looked up from her dinner plate.

"Don‘t you like it?" you asked, referring to the new recipe you had tried.

"No, it’s delicious" she put down her fork, hand reaching for your free one, "mama invited us for dinner" she said in a gentle voice, "do you want to go? I told her, I want to talk to you about it first before I say yes. In case, you don‘t want to"

"Do you want to go?" you questioned, unsure if she wanted this as much as you did.

"Yes, I’d like you to meet my family officially. As my girlfriend."

This moment showed you that you weren’t her dirty secret anymore - not at all.

"Only if you‘re okay with that, of course" she squeezed your hand, letting you know that you can say 'no' if you weren‘t comfortable "we don‘t need to rush anything" as she wanted to do everything at the pace you set.

You were her first priority.

"Does your mother like wine?" you answered, agreeing to have dinner with her family while you felt the excitement rush through your body.

"My family loves you, amor" Alexia said as the two of you were in the car on your way home from dinner. Her hand rested on your thigh as yours rested on top of hers, "you think so?"

"Sí, claro. You‘re perfect" lifting your hand, she pressed a kiss on the back of it before settling back down, your cheeks turning red.

After awhile of comfortable silence, you broke the tranquil atmosphere "You know, we‘ve never talked about the notebook" you whispered. You didn’t know why the words left your mouth but you couldn’t take them back either. In fact, you wanted to talk about it ever since you had read the pages full of information, thoughts and love yet never had the courage to bring it up. There was no reason to do so, Alexia was your girlfriend, you had read about her build up plan on winning you back, all the things she loved about you and the pages of regret and disappointment.

She knew that this day would come eventually - always wondering when. It had been awhile since she had given you the booklet.

"I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I just want you to know that I really appreciated- still do the gesture of getting to know you in a way that I didn‘t know before."

She was very grateful that you didn't want to discuss the topic any further as she was still slightly embarrassed about all the feeling she had exposed in that book. But she also knew that the day would come where the both of you would have a very detailed conversation about every written word in there.

"Maybe one day we‘ll have a home where nobody had walked through that door and where you would never have to leave the door open for me." you whispered, smiling softly before looking out of the window at the night sky.

Alexia knew immediately what you were talking about

'I promise you to love you from afar and forever so. And if you should ever not have a home - mine will be forever yours. I will always let that door open for you..'

and what you were implying.

So, with the moon shining, the stars lighting, she promised that one day a shared home would be reality.

"I‘ll let the lights on instead" she chuckled, remembering the multiple times you‘d walked into something in the dark.

Ps. the internet went crazy when Alexia posted a picture dump of you on your first anniversary (finally confirming the rumours)

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alexias-putellas · 2 days

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are you sure? // barça femení x teen!reader

barça femení x teen!reader

this request came in not long after that game and i still have a lot of feelings about it. here is me working through them.

warning: mentions of a panic attack but that’s all

are you sure?

you were so sure when alexia asked. when jona asked. when ingrid asked. when lucy asked. when marta asked. when mapi asked. even when sweet vicky asked.

you might’ve only been seventeen like her but you were so sure that you wanted to take the last penalty. it wasn’t your first and your track record for pentalties was impressive. so yeah, you were absolutely sure that you wanted to take the last one.

you grabbed the ball from cata and placed it on the floor, walking backwards a few steps to get a good run up. the whistle blew and you only took a few seconds before kicking it as hard as you could and really it felt like everything was happening in slow motion.

the reaction from hannah hampton, the roar of the chelsea fans as she swatted the ball away like it was a measly fly, the noise of the chelsea players as they ran over to their goalkeeper to celebrate making it into a champions league final.

you hadn’t moved, frozen to the spot as what just happened swirled and registered in your head. tears burned in your eyes but you blinked them away. arms wrapped around you and you could faintly hear the murmurs of vicky and esmee but you didn’t know what they were saying. you didn’t look at them. you couldn’t bring yourself to look at the more senior members of the team.

it was alexia and mapi’s first champions league since returning properly from injury and deep down you knew that it was probably the last champions league for some of the others and you’d gone and thrown it away.

time seemed to move very slowly and you must’ve been running on autopilot because the next time you blinked, you were curled up in a seat on an unusually quiet bus. you were acutely aware of ingrid sitting next to you and the fact that mapi was somewhere close by. but you didn’t remember coming off the pitch or getting changed or even getting on the bus.

when the bus came to a stop outside the hotel, you were quick to grab your bag and shoot off it, hanging back a little bit to wait for jana who was supposed to be your roommate for the night.

but your arm was tapped and you turned to see mapi, a small smile on her face. “you are with us tonight, nena.”

you nodded, feeling a little bit relieved. you loved jana but you knew that she’d probably make you talk about what happened whereas mapi and ingrid would give you space to process it.

so you trailed behind the couple as the three of you made your way through the hotel. you immediately sat on the bed that looked untouched, automatically assuming that the two were already sharing the other bed.

ingrid didn’t have the heart to tell you that as per the rules, they hadn’t been sharing a bed but she was certain that bending the rules for you wouldn’t be an issue.

you didn’t get any sleep that night, tossing and turning before ultimately staring at the ceiling. the penalty played over and over in your head like a movie. a never ending movie.

after a few more minutes of growing irritability, you sat up and threw the covers off you. quietly, you creeped over to the window and leaned your forehead against the cool glass, staring into the lightening sky.

the light of your phone reflected but you didn’t move to look at it. why would you? it wasn’t going to be anything good. a tear dropped onto your arm before you even noticed you were crying. you harshly wiped at your eyes. you had no right to cry or be upset. the others did but not you.

it was your fault after all.

your mind wandered. what would’ve happened if someone else had taken the last penalty? what if you’d taken an earlier penalty? what if you didn’t take one at all? should you have taken one at all?

suddenly you weren’t so sure.

ᡣ𐭩

you sobbed softly into bagheera’s fur, the thought of going into training making you sick to your stomach.

as soon as you’d stepped foot back in barcelona, you’d retreated into your room at mapi and ingrid’s place and never came out. you didn’t answer your phone, you didn’t post anything on your social media’s. you didn’t do anything. the only people you’d interacted with being the couple who had opened their home to you but even that was rare.

if you had a choice, you’d have chosen to slowly integrate yourself back with the girls. but you didn’t have a choice. you had to go back to training, being thrown straight into the deep end with people who probably hated you and in your eyes, they had every right to do so.

you could hear mapi and ingrid moving around and chattering quietly and when footsteps got a little too close, you held your breath, swallowing your sob. there was a soft knock at the door then.

“nena?” mapi’s soft voice sounded through the door and you sat up slightly. she wasn’t going to come in, you knew that. “we are leaving in five minutes.”

those simple words had you burying your face further into the cat’s soft fur. you took deep breaths, willing yourself not to cry again. with a sense of hesitation, you let bagheera go and slipped off your bed. once you were sure the spaniard had left, you snuck into the bathroom.

your reflection made you wince. you weren’t going to be able to cover up those bags. and the splotchiness on your face didn’t seem to budge when you splashed yourself with water.

with a heaved sigh, you grabbed your stuff from your room and granted bagheera his freedom, following behind him as he darted straight to mapi.

truthfully neither mapi or ingrid thought you’d actually attend training so they’d already pre-warned jona and alexia of your potential absence.

but then you walked into the living room, training bag on your shoulder and a tired look on your face.

“ready elskling?” ingrid asked softly and you nodded.

the short drive to the training centre left you filled with more dread. and when mapi pulled up, you muttered something about needing to use the bathroom before running faster than you ever had.

your bag fell to the floor as soon as you’d reached your destination. your hands gripped the edge of a sink as you willed yourself to breathe. but nothing seemed to work.

you sunk to your knees, head pressed against the cool ceramic as your breathing worsened.

tears spilled down your cheeks, a feeling of dread growing worse with each passing second, and you wanted—needed to calm down. ingrid or mapi would soon raise the alarm that you still weren’t there and someone would come looking for you.

the thought of being late and potentially making the others late made you feel even worse. and you somehow sobbed between your staggered breaths.

the reasons to hate you kept piling up and you wondered how long it would be until you did something truly unforgivable. well you supposed you already had.

the door opened and again, time seemed to slow down for you. you were extremely aware of the arms wrapped around you, the hand rubbing your back soothingly, and the voice quietly encouraging you to breathe.

and then you were all on the floor, sitting in silence. a terrible, deafening silence. alexia, ingrid, and frido had never seen you look so small and childlike, a harsh reminder for them that that’s exactly what you were. a child. who appeared to have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

“it is okay, nena,” alexia said softly. your jaw clenched a little but you said nothing. “you are young. we all made mistakes when we were young.”

you held back the urge to laugh in her face. whilst that may have been true, you seriously doubted that any of them had single-handedly threw away a chamipions league semi-final.

“we win as a team and we lose as a team,” frido added on. “we are a family.”

“and without you we wouldn’t have even made it to penalties. you got us there elskling.”

you nodded but made no move to speak or even look at them, having kept your eyes trained on your linked hands.

it quickly became very obvious that you were still not in the mood for social interactions but the three held a little hope in their hearts as you scampered behind them to get ready for training.

the session wasn’t too bad. you did what you were supposed to do with minimum fuss and you kept to yourself. maybe giving vicky and esmee a small smile every now and then.

to them, it was progress. to you, it was nothing. merely a gesture of goodwill to show them that they were in your good books. you still didn’t speak though and ingrid’s words circled your mind. she was right, you were the reason barcelona had even made it to penalties but you were also the reason barcelona lost out and you knew which one was being spoken about all the time.

when you returned home with mapi and ingrid, you went straight to your room, placing yourself into the bay window and staring down at the busy street below. soft knocks sounded and the door opened, bagheera’s quiet meow drawing your attention. you glanced over your shoulder to see mapi stood there, two cups of coffee in her hands.

she motioned to the space next to you and you barely nodded, eyes on the soft cat as he jumped onto your lap. the spaniard carefully placed the cup into your hand. you brought it up to your lips, sipping it slowly. “good?”

“yes, thank you.” you whispered.

it silent again, something you’d actually grown quite fond of. mapi’s presence was comforting in a way but you knew she was still mad at you so when she spoke up again, you told her what she wanted to hear.

“you are okay nena, right?” she asked but the concern in her eyes wasn’t noticed by you and you nodded, desperate for her to leave so you could cry in peace. “estas segura?”

“i’m sure.”

#woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso #barça femeni #barcelona femeni #alexia putellas #ona batlle #keira walsh #lucy bronze #mapi leon #ingrid engen #esmee brugts #jana fernandez

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ktgoodmorning · 1 day

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"I'm scared"

Alexia Putellas x reader

Part 3 of that awkward smile but also can stand on it's own in my opinion, just kinda in that same universe.

You get injured during the chelsea match and Alexia steps up to comfort you

I Part 1 I Part 2 I

Masterlist

To say you were stressed about the upcoming Chelsea match would have been an understatement. Champions league matches always held more weight to them so you’d always be the first to put an immense amount of pressure on yourself. You were similar to Alexia in that way, always expecting the absolute best from yourself and willing to push yourself to any length necessary to get there, no matter what it took.

But you were ready. That’s what everyone told you. Barça was incredible and you all knew exactly what you needed to do. You had trained for this and knew how to handle the pressure.

You did all your pre game rituals, even getting a quick kiss on the forehead from Alexia once the others had left the locker room. They still had no idea the two of you had gotten back together and at the moment you wanted to keep it that way, knowing Mapi would be fiercely protective over both of you, scared to see her best friends hurt each other once again.

Before you knew it, you were lined up in the tunnel, ready to take the pitch. Mapi was working her way through everyone, giving plenty of pep talks and words of wisdom asshe did so, being sure to make a long stop in front of you.

You were a center back, working hard to fill her shoes in her absence and trying your absolute best. Everyone knew it was a difficult job but you continued to improve and put in the extra hours to make sure you could make her proud. She was always sure to give you some extra advice and hype you up to make sure you knew that she believed in you. You had known Mapi for most of your life and as much as you’d never admit it, her faith in you worked wonders for your confidence and skills on the field. Especially with you still settling in at Barcelona, knowing that she trusted you in her absence made you step up to the plate in a way you hadn’t been able to before.

As she approached you, Mapi took both your hands in hers, looking at you with a rare sense of seriousness that she often didn’t show. “You’re ready for this, amiga. Just do what you do best, quit thinking about anything else, just go play and be the footballer that you are.” She gave you a short nod which you returned to her before pulling her in for a short hug. Soon afterwards, you were being led onto the pitch for the game to begin.

As the game got started, you settled into a pace that was much faster than most of the games you were used to. There was much more back and forth, more speed, and more physicality than you normally played with, both teams hungry for a win which only heightened the intensity further.

It was around the 60th minute when a Chelsea player sent a long ball down the field in your direction, hoping to reach Mayra Ramirez. You, being the closest to her, took off running towards her the second the ball started your way, pushing yourself to catch up with her and using your speed to your advantage. You were able to reach the ball just as it was about to arrive at its intended target, immediately jumping up in an attempt to head it away before Mayra could take control of it.

However just as your feet left the ground, you felt a mind-numbing crack to your temple, clearly coming into contact with something that wasn’t the ball, before immediately collapsing onto the pitch. What you didn’t realize when you tried to take the header, was how close you were to the opposing player who, like you, was jumping up in hopes of getting control over the ball, leading to her head smashing into the side of yours.

You had little to no awareness of the things going on around you as you layed there, curled in a ball, groaning in pain, wishing you didn’t exist. Pain was shooting through your skull with an intensity that made it hard to even pinpoint its origin. All you knew was that it hurt.

Everything hurt. The sunlight in your eyes hurt, making you keep them squeezed shut as tightly as possible. Squeezing your eyes shut caused pain too, but not quite as bad as if you had opened them. You didn’t even have the energy or mental capacity to fully react to the amount of pain you were feeling at that moment, just bringing your hands up to your face as if they would somehow shield you from the pain you were feeling, exhausted, tears unknowingly running down your face.

Game play stopped almost immediately as you and Mayra had both hit the ground hard, her seeming to be in better shape than you currently were. The second she saw your heads make contact, Alexia felt like her whole world came to a screeching halt. It did. You were her world. You had slowly become ingrained in everything she did as over the last couple months you had been together and now here you were, curled up motionless on the grass.

She didn’t even realize it but the blonde had begun sprinting towards you the second you went down, not even waiting for the whistle or giving it a second thought. It was automatic for her, the need to protect you outweighing everything else.

Normally if a teammate went down, Alexia would be the one to argue with the referee about whatever had happened and allow someone else to go comfort the injured player. It’s not like the captain had a reputation for being warm and fuzzy and good with handling people’s emotions. She’d leave that to the others so she could be the stone faced captain she preferred being. But not with you. You were different.

Alexia was by your side in an instant, suddenly no longer caring who knew about your relationship. Keeping things a secret wasn’t even a thought that crossed her mind as she slid to her knees next to you, instantly grabbing your hand in an attempt to provide you some comfort until the medical staff could reach you. Her hands shook as she brushed some hair off your face and wiped your tears, genuinely terrified of what was going on with you. The blank stare in your eyes, paired with your silence and lack of reaction was eerie to say the least.

“You’ll be okay, amor, I’ve got you. The physios are almost here.” It’s like time was moving in slow motion, feeling like they were taking forever even though they were just as prompt as they always were. Your girlfriend’s words were almost more for herself than they were for you. The way you still were yet to react, didn’t call for words of comfort, however she needed to say it out loud, just to hear it for herself. You would be okay. You had to be. She was thinking so many things at once that she couldn’t fully process it all, just fully in survival mode on your behalf.

When the physios reached your side, Alexia moved over to give them some space, still refusing to let go of your hand as they did so. She didn’t notice, but plenty of teammates had given her some weird looks, confused by her sudden concern over you and the way she was expressing it so openly. The look of fear in her eyes was new to everyone, even those she had known her entire life. Nobody had seen the captain looking so unsure of things when she was on the football pitch, normally that was the place where she came across as the most confident no matter what was going on.

The physios did their job, asking you a million questions and trying to examine you as best they could in your current state. Alexia could hardly pay attention to anything they said, far too caught up in her thoughts about what could be going on with you.

You were hardly answering any of the questions, just mumbling soft responses here and there, struggling to focus on their words. Because of your continued lack of coherency, the medical staff decided to stretcher you off- something that didn’t help Alexia’s mental state, doing her best to hide the tears that were welling up in her own eyes. She was still yet to let go of your hand, squeezing it tightly as if her hold on your hand alone could keep you safe as she helplessly watched the medical staff load you onto the stretcher.

The blonde stayed by your side as the staff wheeled you off, only stopping when they reached the sideline where Mapi had come down from the stands to wait for you to take Alexia’s place by your side. Alexia knew that she wouldn’t be allowed to come off yet. It was the Champion’s League and everyone knew there wasn’t the wiggle room to mess with the subs more than absolutely necessary. As much as it killed her to see you go without her, she knew she didn’t have another option and at the very least, she was grateful to know Mapi would be by your side the whole time.

When they paused at the sidelines with you, Alexia took the opportunity to give your hand a tight squeeze before bringing it to her lips to leave a kiss on the back of it. “You’ll be okay amor, I’ll see you as soon as this is over. I love you, okay?” She didn’t expect a response given your current state but appreciated the weak attempt at returning a squeeze of the hand to her. Mapi froze for a second, giving her a look of confusion over what she had just seen from her best friend before giving the captain a reassuring pat on the shoulder and taking Alexia’s spot by your side.

Everything after that was a blur for you, only knowing that the medical staff were busy performing tests on you, doing what they could to make sure you were okay. You became more and more aware of your surroundings as they did so, feeling the shock of the incident slowly starting to wear off. They decided you wouldn’t need to go to the hospital and that it appeared to be a grade two concussion, paired with the sudden shock of the injury. While you’d still spend longer than you’d like on the sidelines, it was a much better outcome than anyone was expecting given the state you had been in when it happened.

Once the physios had finished their tests, they gave you some medication for the pain and let you doze off on one of the treatment tables, snuggled into Mapi’s side while the game ended. The second the final whistle blew, Alexia was sprinting off the pitch with the sole intention of finding you, ignoring any other responsibilities that might have been awaiting her.

She burst through the door to the training room, expecting to be told that they took you to the hospital, stopping herself only when she saw you sleeping peacefully against Mapi. For the first time since you went down, the blonde was able to take a deep breath and calm down now that she had seen you looking relatively okay.

“Ssshhh, Ale, she’s asleep. But she’s okay. Grade two concussion, and plenty of shock but she’ll be okay, that’s all it is.”

“Gracias a Dios,” Alexia’s shoulders visibility relaxed as she let out a heavy sigh, having assumed the absolute worst for the last half hour.

“What’s going on between you two? Are you back together or something? Cause I really don’t think-”

“Si, Mapi,” The blonde rolled her eyes at Mapi’s reaction, knowing it was exactly what had prevented you from telling her earlier. “I know you’re worried about her but I promise it’s different this time. We’re both in a completely different place now, and we’ve talked about it a lot, and it’s going amazing, Mapi. I promise you. I will not do anything to hurt her.”

“You better not, juro por Dios. I’m so serious, Alexia, if you do anything-”

“I won’t! I swear, Mapi. I could never do that to her again. It kills me that I even did it the first time. This time is completely different, I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone before.”

The defender only responded with a very pointed look, clearly not too pleased with the current situation. It didn’t help matters that you were still passed out against her, unable to help your girlfriend reassure her that things were going well between you.

Not wanting to discuss it any further, Mapi slid out from underneath you, carefully allowing Alexia to slide into her place. It was clear you knew who it was, snuggling into her further and grabbing the top of her kit tightly to make sure she couldn’t leave. It didn’t matter to you that she was drenched in sweat and smelling rough, you just needed her close to you, even if you weren’t awake enough to consciously decide that.

Alexia took your movement as an opportunity to wake you up, gently rubbing your shoulder, and speaking softly as she did so. “Hola, amor. I think we should get you home so you can keep sleeping there, get you more comfortable. Si? You’ll stay at mine so I can make sure you’re okay.”

You nodded weakly, mumbling a somewhat incoherent agreement. The idea of going home with her sounded great but the idea of moving sounded like the worst thing you could imagine at the moment.

She smiled softly at your reaction, knowing that there were few things you loved more than cuddling and that she knew she would have a hard time getting you to agree to get up right now. “You’re so cute when you’re tired and barely making sense, amor. I’ll carry you if you want.”

She sat up further in an attempt to encourage you to join her, hoping to get a better idea of how you were feeling, but wasn’t expecting to see tears pooling in your eyes as soon as she did so. “Ale, I feel horrible.” Your voice was wobbly as you tried to hold in your emotions, suddenly overcome with pain in your head once again.

“I know sweetheart, I know. I’ve got you though, okay? I’ve just gotta get you home and then I’ll take good care of you and let you rest more. Is that alright?”

You nodded, looking and feeling more broken than you ever had before. “Could I please just hug you, first? Then we can go.”

Your words made her melt, suddenly aware of how much you needed her support right now, allowing you to collapse into her arms. “Shh, I’ve got you. It’ll be okay, I promise. You’ll be alright, mi amor, you’ll be alright.” She rocked you gently in a way that almost seemed to dull the pain you were feeling. This moment in her arms was the best you had felt since you hit the ground, and it did more than you ever could’ve guessed. Something about being in her arms seemed to work better than any prescription ever could.

When you pulled away from her, she gently wiped away your tears, once again pushing your hair back away from your face. “I’ll see if Mapi can grab our stuff and then we’ll meet her at the car okay? Do you want a sweatshirt or anything?” You were both in your kits still and Alexia knew you enough to know that you always ran cold and preferred being snuggled up in a big sweatshirt. Your only response was a pouty face, sticking your bottom lip out at her with your best puppy dog eyes as she gave you a smile and shake of her head in return. Of course Alexia knew exactly what you were implying with that face. It was your subtle (or not so subtle) way of requesting a sweatshirt of hers instead of your own. “I’ll get you a sweatshirt and let Mapi know that we’re ready to leave. Then I’ll come get you. Okay?” You nodded at her which she acknowledged with a quick peck on the lips before leaving the room, giving you the opportunity to lay down for a few more minutes while you waited.

You must have slightly dozed off by the time Alexia returned to you because you awoke to the sound of the door opening once again. “Feeling any better?”

You squinted slightly, trying to let your head adjust to the lights in the room. “Ale, you were gone for like five minutes, why would I feel any different?” The words carried more attitude than you intended, too far distracted by the pounding in your skull, but your girlfriend seemed to be unphased, just shrugging off your words before helping pull her sweatshirt on over your head.

Once you seemed to be more comfortable, she turned so her back was facing you, bending down slightly so you could climb on, piggy-back style. “Hop on, I’ll carry you to the car, amor.” So you did just that, climbing on and then burying your face into the side of her neck, partially to block out some of the light, partially because you just wanted to be as close as possible.

When you reached her car, she gently set you down on the passenger seat, making sure you were comfortable and buckled before leaving a kiss on the top of your head to go to the driver’s side. As soon as she sat down, she reached to hold your hand, giving it yet another reassuring squeeze. Although the silence between you provided some relief from the pounding in your head, It also sent you into a spiral of anxiety thinking about what this concussion might mean for you.

Alexia quickly noticed your change in demeanor as she drove and how you went from mostly asleep in a comfortable silence to staring into space, clearly filled with tension. The fact that you were suddenly more awake was her biggest red flag given that you had been in and out the entire time she’d seen you. The panicked Alexia that had appeared when you first went down seemed to be back and filled with concern over you once again. “Hey, are you okay? Is something worse with your head, amor? What’s wrong? Do you want me to pull over? I can pull over if you want?”

“I don’t know, I’m just scared I guess.” You gave her a grim shrug that did little to calm her nerves, still looking at you expectantly, trying to figure out how to help.

“Scared of what? You’ll be okay, they said most of your symptoms should be getting better already in a few days.”

“Not about that, Ale.”

“Then what…” the blonde trailed off, clearly confused as to what you were saying.

When she seemed to not be catching on, you let out a sigh, dreading saying the words that had come to mind. “It’s just that last time we dated, injuries are part of what tore us apart. We couldn’t deal with the stress of them. I’m just scared that that might happen again.” You paused, trying to put your thoughts into words, “I can’t lose you again, Alexia. So I don’t know if I should stay with you and I don’t know if we should do this, because I don’t think I can handle that again.” Your voice cracked as you went silent once again, both of you simmering in what was just said. By the time you finished speaking she had pulled into the driveway so she could now turn to face you, cradling the side of your head in her hand. The warmth of her large hand provided you comfort as you leaned into her touch, letting her support your head even more.

“Amor. I know it’s scary, I do. But I never plan on letting you go. Not ever. I promised Mapi that while you were passed out earlier and I’ll promise you that. We talked about this, we were both different people then. We are both more mature, stronger, kinder, smarter, and better. This is not the same.” You finally looked up to meet her eyes for the first time that night. “And I think you know that, amor. I love you, so, so, so, much. It’s okay to be scared, I’ll carry enough faith in us for the two of us. But at the end of the day, I’m not going anywhere. I promise. There’s a reason we got back together, si?”

It was rare that you saw Alexia get so sentimental and emotional but something about you seemed to bring out that side of her. “Gracias, Ale,” she leaned forward to give you a gentle kiss. “I don’t know what I would do without you. Seriously.” She interrupted you with more kisses in an attempt to pull your mind away from your anxieties and back to the present.

When she pulled away, Alexia was relieved by the small smile that had appeared on your face, the first she’d seen since before the game today. “Now let’s go inside, we can take a bath and get you some comfier clothes, and get you all snuggled up to go to bed. I’ll hold you as much as you want, I won’t go anywhere.”

You gave her a small nod, before slowly leaving the car and following her inside, ready for a night with Alexia all to yourself and ready to take care of you. Your head still hurt, but if there was one thing that could make it feel better, you knew it would be your girlfriend and the hardcore pain meds you’d been given.

might end up doing one more for this but we'll see :)

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