#I love Morris and Seward and their very different but very sweet proposals

[longagoitwastuesday]

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#How is tumblr not flooding with today's Dracula Daily letter? Am I doing my tumblr research right? #This is my favourite part in the book. I've been waiting for this letter to arrive #I love Morris and Seward and their very different but very sweet proposals #so in line with their personalities and their respective relationships with Lucy and how honestly they like her and want her friendship #I didn't like Dracula much but I was all over this when I read it years ago and so very into their friendship with Arthur as well #Nooooo I want more. I was hoping for a tumblr party or something. Jokes awwwing meta fanart. The whole pack #I feel like a whiny little kid and this is half a joke but goodness I sincerely hope I'll find more content about this letter xD #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #And I should make my own content and stop complaining #but I wanted to play with more kids lol #Okay I've found more content now. I'd want to drown in it but I'm mildly satisfied for now. Hoping more will come #Quincey Morris was my favourite but this time I'm growing fonder still of Seward #Arthur are you really that forgettable or am I just terrible at remembering you? #He kind of gets totally eclipsed by John Seward and Quincey Morris doesn't he? #He's sweet and I like him too but I can't help but feel that way #I think this is enough tags and now I can safely tag them #Quincey Morris #John Seward #Jack Seward #Arthur Holmwood #Lucy Westenra #I've written so much I don't even know whether the tags will work on my own blog oof

[the-golden-ghost]

Dracula: A Comprehensive Summary

Part 1 (I wrote the whole thing out and it was too long, so I’m gonna do it in parts.)

This is so that @necromancy-savant can participate in that sweet, sweet Classroom Discussion and Get An A

Also because I was super bored HERE WE GO:

Chapter 1:

Here we meet the guy who you’d think would be our hero but isn’t, Jonathan Harker. He is a good soul. Really likes his fiancee, Mina.

He is traveling to Transylvania to meet his new client, a gentleman known as Count Dracula.

As he’s going there he talks about the food too much and describes the scenery a lot. But what’s this? The locals constantly make the Anti-Evil Sign at him whenever he mentions his destination? Rumors abound of a warlock, demon or other spooky spook living in Dracula’s castle?

But that’s surely all superstitious nonsense, says Jon. Those silly locals.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also wolves exist outside the castle and some of them chase Jon’s carriage so surely this is going to be a good trip.

(Also just a note on how the book is written; it’s done in like a collage format, with different parts being done as different people’s journals, or sometimes as memos, letters, or news articles. The first bit is Jon’s travel diary, and then later in the book the narrator will switch like crazy, sometimes multiple times per chapter. It’s a weird style so I thought I’d point that out.)

Chapter 2:

Now it’s time to meet our villain, Count Dracula!

Dracula is this weird old dude with wild hair and a monobrow and protruding fangs and hairy... palms. Yeah really. Jon thinks he’s just the Ugliest Shit but he doesn’t say anything, cause he’s very polite.

Dracula basically is a nice host and leaves Jon all alone at a table to eat like an entire roast chicken by himself. Because he doesn’t eat dinner. Ooooh spooky

Also he likes wolves. He has a bunch of pet wolves. Why?  We Just Don’t Know

Anyway the next day (or night, rather, since all of Drac’s meetings take place at night ooooh spooky) Dracula invites Jon to a business discussion in which they talk about real estate. Because heck

I guess Jon like sells real estate in London. Booyah

And then Dracula goes off on this long creepy tangent about nobility and his bloodline and loosely implies that he’s hundreds of years old.

Oh and he also really likes dead bodies cause that’s not weird

Then he ditches Jon again and Jon goes to shave in his bathroom, only for Dracula to show up for some reason. At which point Jon sees that Dracula does not show a reflection in the shaving mirror! Egad!

Panic ensues, Dracula gets pissed and tosses the mirror out the window, Jon cuts himself with the razor in the event, Drac sees blood and wigs out and briefly strangles Jon before he accidentally touches a crucifix that Jon conveniently had on his neck, which turns him Normal again. And then he just scolds Jon for having such an evil, wicked bad device as a mirror and leaves.

Jon is like “what the fuck how am I supposed to shave without my mirror though :/ “

The next day Jon’s like “all right fuck this shit I’m out” and realizes that - oh dear - he is Locked In.

Chapter 3:

I mean, he can wander around the castle but all the doors are locked.

The next day night Drac and Jon have a long talk about Transylvanian History. It’s boring.

Although Dracula does let it slip that he intends to keep Jon For All Eternity “for at least a month :) “

Jon’s like “ah FUCK no”

And Drac also lays down some Rules like “Don’t Write Letters Telling People How I Live” and “Don’t Wander Around the Castle At Night”

Jon’s like “whatever bro” and goes back to his room where he spots Dracula pulling some Spiderman bullshit along the side of the castle wall.

Like, crawling along the side “like a lizard”

Jon’s like “all right fuck this noise” and decides to break the Don’t Wander Around the Castle At Night rule.

He breaks into a locked room which is Clearly A Great Idea and wakes up - to no one’s shock except Jon’s - in moral peril.

Basically Dracula’s three wives live in that room and Boy Are They Hungry.

They attempt to eat Jon except Dracula shows up and tells them all to fuck off so they just retreat and eat a baby that they were carrying around in a bag? I guess?

Chapter 4:

Jon wakes up and everything seems normal. Or Is It?

It isn’t. Drac starts making him write Fake Letters home so that he can make it look like Jon vanished on the road home. Oh dear.

Jon begins trying to Escape. It fails miserably.

He also watches Dracula feed some lady to his pet wolves and realizes that He’s Next.

He eventually manages to spot Dracula in his coffin (in the daytime) Nopes the fuck out of there, and goes back to his room which is at this point the only place he feels safe. Ish.

He decides the next that he’s going to find Dracula’s Creepy Coffin and go and steal his key while he’s sleeping. (A+ Plan but he doesn’t really have a lot of options so)

He does this except he gets caught and proceeds to beat Dracula up with a shovel

He doesn’t find the key either. He just plans to Escape By Any Cost and also to rob Dracula while he’s at it because he feels like he’s entitled to financial compensation for putting up with this bullshit lol

AAAAND that’s the end of Jon! No, really. It just ends on a big ol’ cliffhanger and we make a jump to London to meet the rest of the cast. Eventually we find out what happened to poor Jonny, but.... it isn’t good. And that is why Jon is Not Our Hero! He’s not dead though don’t worry

Chapter 5:

Time to meet the Rest of the Squad!

Mina Murray (eventually, Harker) is our Fearless Heroine. She’s kind, she’s brave, she’s loyal, and she has All The Rationale and Reason of a Man (because nothing like good ol’ fashioned Sexism veiled as compliments!) She’s engaged to Jon.

Lucy Westenra is Mina’s Bestest Buddy and is also a good soul. She’s more of a Society girl. Engaged to a lord and stuff. She also doesn’t have a Man’s Brain :(

Lucy and Mina discuss their love lives through letters back and forth. Mina is waiting for news of Jon, Lucy, meanwhile, had proposals from THREE men!

Who are also significant characters so here we go

Lord Arthur Godalming is the man Lucy actually loves and decides to marry. He’s... I dunno. Pretty boring as a character tbh but he’s there a lot so I’ll mention him.

John Seward (yeah Stoker decided to have two guys with almost the same first name, gj, although Seward mostly goes by Seward and Jon goes by Jonathan) is a doctor at a local asylum. Which isn’t creepy. He likes to Study his patients I guess. I say “patients” loosely cause he only has one and Hoo Boy Are You Going To Hear About That One.

Quincy P. Morris is a cowboy. Yes. A cowboy, straight out of Texas. Why did we need to have a vampire-slaying cowboy? No reason, we just did, AND WE’RE GONNA LIKE IT.

Also Quincy, Arthur and Seward were like college friends or something idk

Moving on

Chapter 6:

Mina goes down to the dock and talks to a weird old man about superstitions of dead people coming to life. Fun times. She’s also trying to figure out where her fiance is :(

Seward actually does some doctor business to take his mind off the fact that Lucy rejected him. He adopts R. M. Renfield (the R. M. doesn’t stand for anything as far as we know) as a patient because he’s the most Interesting of all the lunatics.

And he confesses to pushing him to act more insane because he finds him interesting to study? Seward is a terrible doctor fyi

So Renfield is ah... fun. He keeps pets! Specifically, flies.

Seward says “no flies in your room :/ “ And Renfield promises to get rid of the flies.

So Renfield gets rid of the flies by using them to lure spiders so he can have New Pets!

Seward The Buzzkill says no spiders either

So Renfield just starts fucking eating the spiders AND the flies because He Can’t Have Nice Things. Also he wants to absorb their life

And then Renfield catches a sparrow! And tames it and keeps it as his friend and pet. How the fuck did he get a sparrow in his room? Uh

And then he gets a whole BUNCH of sparrows and any idiot could tell you this is going downhill but Seward is simply too Curious, you see

Anyway Renfield tries to get a kitten

Seward does not give Renfield a kitten

Anyway as it turns out Renfield fucking ate all his pet birds and Seward is like “aha! This is a victory for psychology! I have discovered a new form of lunatic!” and it’s like bro you already knew he was eating the flies, you dork

So Renfield never gets a kitten. :(

#Dracula #part 2 incoming