#I wanna die so bad why can't God just kill me I beg and pray so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unhingedselfships · 10 months

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I poked through the KimiKura Verse Playlist and compiled some songs from the Yakuza!Kadokura AU.

BAD CHILD - BAD CHILD “That smile, girl Was for you It's been a while, girl Without you Free trial, girl For you I don't want to spend this night alone”

EAT SPIT! - Slush Puppy, Royal and the Serpents

“Misfit, misfit in trouble Queen shit, queen shit level Misfit, misfit in trouble Misfit, get the fuck on my level Bad bitch, queen shit, icon”

Complex - Xana

“I put on a pretty show, a demon taught me what I know And I could see it in her eyes, I got this angel hypnotized Said she loves the thing I do with my tongue while I'm inside You got me with my worst intentions”

Good Kid - Former Vandal

“Baby, you could fuck up my whole life How'd you know that's just what I'd like? You wrap my arms around your throat and say Tell me that you love me like it matters either way"

regrets - Stevie Howie

“Call me an addict Baby can I have it? Fuck being right God I want it so badly I can't deny you You know you're my supplier Fuck my pride Already know I'm a buyer I'd change my mind for you, yeah I'd follow what you do, yeah”

Sex and Candy - Marcy Playground

“I smell sex and candy here, mmm Who's that lounging in my chair? Mmm Who's that casting devious stares in my direction? Momma this surely is a dream, yeah”

HOUNDIN PT II - Layton, AViVA

“Ooh, you so obsessive, send another desperate message On your knees, I got you begging, I forgot, I meant to mention, yeah You ain't nothing when you tryna be slick You ain't nothing but my hounding-ass bitch, yeah yeah”

666 - KILLBOY

“You know from the jump I'm crazy as fuck 1 a.m. you know I'm kinda drunk I just want yo love Cut you up and put you in the trunk If you fucking up Nah, you know that shit aint really nothin' I just want your love”

She Thinks of Me - Landon Tewers “She loves the bags under my eyes Sitting in her thigh highs Drinking like a fish because she's realized I'm just fucking with an imitation maybe I should move on from the parasite Heard you're speaking like we made a truce Haven't stole your woman yet so show some gratitude I found a real one My life's a wicked view Be thanking me when she's fucking you”

Daddy AF - Slayyyter

“I been fuckin' models I been poppin' bottles all night Playboy in the grotto (Playboy in the grotto!) Put it on your face boy Alright (Alright, alright) Daddy as fuck”

Bloodfeather - Highly Suspect

“Your eyes, they could cut through diamonds and steel For real, they're sharper than the blade in your hand They tell me you're strong, but they don't tell me what you feel I feel there's something that you want me to hear It's coming in loud and clear You know what you want, what you want, what you want In the name of love, I'll follow you You fit me like a glove when I'm inside of you And if my body's dead and cold, I'd die for you In the name of love, I'll kill for”

Heavy Metal Lover - Lady Gaga

“I want your whiskey mouth all over my blond south Red wine, cheap perfume and a filthy pout Tonight bring all your friends, because a group does it better Why river with a pair? Let's have a full house of leather”

Make It Naked - DYLYN

“Make it naked This is how I want it Bleeding, screaming I want it raw and honest Under the skin is the truth I'll show you me, show me you”

Popsicle - bludnymph

“Got a sugar addiction, I make bad decisions I wish I would listen but I just wanna stay Now my hunger has risen, I can't help but give in I pray I'm forgiven, I cannot get away Yeah, I got a sweet tooth I want another taste of you Yeah, I gotta stay cool Nobody does it like you do”

Strut - Emeline

“They say I'm tragically obsessed Hot mess, God forbid, I'm getting what I like Every night, make 'em livid All these saints are watching me My sex life like TMZ You're welcome, bitch, the show is free”

Fluorescent - Gwen Stefani

“Dressing up in your love is a dangerous thing My sexy super lover's got a real bad sting Oh baby, didn't want no trouble, this is more than I can afford I can't help myself, keep coming back for more”

Little Girl Gone - CHINCHILLA

“Little girl gone, got a gun from a gangster Run little girl, run little girl, faster Little girl gone, got a gun from a gangster Honey, I've changed so much since I last saw ya”

Lord of the Thighs - Aerosmith

“You must have come here to find it You've got the look in your eyes Although you really don't mind it I am the lord of your thighs”

Part Goddess Part Gangster - Madalen Duke

“See that girl Halo on her head Eyes that burn with a devilish stare Pocketknife hidden in her smile Watch her move Like a beast in the wild She flies with angels She runs with wolves Part goddess, part gangster”

Crimewave - Blue Stahli

“I wanna go on a crimewave I wanna ride with you And when I dance on their grave I wanna dance with you”

#yakkimi #KimiKura #lyrics post #Yakuza!Kadokura AU #YakuKura AU #all aboard the ss naughty #i guess? lol

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radicallicious · 2 years

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how does one deal with thoughts about death? it's not just about my own death but the others around me. i feel very upset right now because my mom, her husband and my siblings are going to the beach and i can't stop thinking that something may happen to them whether on the road or once they're at the beach. i want to cry but then i'll have to explain my big sister why i'm crying at 6 AM.

it's something i think about almost daily, and i've gone through the same when i was 14. i remember i would bawl my eyes out every time my mom and dad went out. i would take the bible, read any passage and pray to god they arrived home safely. i'd even beg them not to step out of the house and they'd just laugh since they couldn't understand why i was behaving like that. this was triggered after a classmate's mom and a cousin who was my age died, both of cancer.

and i have to hear my big sister say after any inconvenience: "ugh, i'm going to die soon. at least i'll be fine since i'm not leaving kids or anyone else behind" shut up shut up, i don't wanna hear you say stuff like that. you have no idea how much it'll hurt not having you here.

finding out so suddenly that my mom, dad or any of my siblings is dead is one of my biggest fears. hell, of course it happens suddenly, it's not like death knocks at your door or gives you a heads-up, but i do wish it were possible so i could be prepared (whatever that means). when my grandpa died last year, i was really sad but at the same time i felt relieved because somehow i knew his time on earth was up, so it didn't come as a shock. besides, he didn't die violently, he did so in a hospital bed.

but then i tell myself: "with your constant overthinking, you're quietly wishing their deaths, attracting all those bad energies and once the inevitable happens, it's gonna be your fault for not putting a stop to these thoughts, you brought this on yourself." and i feel so much worse.

i'm obviously afraid of dying, i haven't made peace with the fact we all die but i can't help but think in how and when i'm going to die. am i gonna get killed by a man, while i'm being robbed, sexually assaulted, or because i was at the wrong place and hour? am i gonna be run over by a car? a heart attack while i'm working or with friends? and so on. how's my family going to react? how will they keep on without me?

i also tell myself to put a lid on this and make up my mind about death but i guess i'm too weak for that. i keep myself busy to stop thinking and thinking but these thoughts just come to me and i don't know what to do with them.

#death tw #personal

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