#I was trying to show how Eonwe and Sauron's relationship was broken | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weezlbot · 2 years

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eonwe rates the maiar

“Eonwe Rates the Valar” flopped hard, so I’m doing the logical thing and making another one! Birb boi rates his colleagues!

also this is more like how well he knows/likes them, not how “good” they are per se. it’s subjective not objective

Ilmare: she’s like a sister to Eonwe. she also makes fresh sweet rolls for the sky-folk (Eonwe, Arien, Tilion, Earendil, etc). on a regular basis. earnest student and preserver of wisdom. also her magic abilities are top-notch. She’s better with the Music than Eonwe himself is. She’s also deeply faithful to both Varda and Manwe. 100/10.

Osse: Brings rains that make the earth fresh and green, which is nice, but why does he have to be so destructive about it? and splashing innocent children of Eru down in the water to drown? However, his rehabilitation from the service of Melkor shows genuine faith and courage. 6/10.

Uinen: Gentle and kindhearted. Protects the Children of Eru whenever she can. Reins Osse in when he rages. Feeds the seabirds little bites of bread. 9/10

Melian: Withdrew into Doriath during the Year of the Trees, then hid away in the gardens of Vana and Este ever since. From what he can tell, she is wise and sensible, which he thinks is admirable, but they aren’t close. She did open up the way for elf/maia marriages, though, so that’s kind of neat. 6/10

Arien: She’s so pretty! and the sun is so bright and warm! Her rapier wit makes her a fascinating conversationalist. Loyal, dedicated and timely. They talk on the reg--him as a flying being and her as the Sun. 9/10

Tilion: Being the Moon was the best idea he ever had. All the world’s hounds still howl to him in brotherhood. Eonwe’s not a dog person but that’s still pretty cool. Not as wise as some, but is chivalrous and dedicated, and frankly, Tilion and Ilmare are close and any friend of Ilmare’s is a friend of Eonwe’s. 7/10

Curumo/Saruman: A bit full of himself. And what’s with defecting to evil when he was supposed to be a force of leadership and light? However, his craftsmanship is high-quality, especially his weaponsmithing, and in the end, he is very intelligent. Doesn’t excuse the traitorship, though. 4/10.

Olorin/Gandalf: Wise, intelligent, and goodhearted. A good student, a good teacher. Talented in magic and swordplay. Fiercely loyal to his causes. And yet, he still has fun. 10/10 every Maia should aim to be like him

Aiwendil/Radagast: he’s a little feral but, like, in a cute way. Trying to save the little creatures of Arda from Sauron was an admirable cause. His heart’s in the right place, but his planning skills could be better. He’s simple, but there’s nothing wrong with being simple. 8/10

Alatar & Pallando: Hunt/eat birds for why? abandon cause for why? where’d they even go? what was their problem? 4/10

Tom Bombadil: What’s with moving to Middle Earth? Valinor literally could have used your might! Other than that, he’s a decent guy and 7/10.

Goldberry: Continuing with the theme of Ulmo having the gentlest, sweetest she-Maiar in his service. 8/10.

the eagles: birby friends who are also heroic warriors? 10/10!

Mairon Sauron: intelligent. wise. crafty. his sense of beauty is immaculate. amazing with his hands. rapier wit. friend.10/10 evil. cruel. the things he did in Numenor and in the pits of Angband were vile. traitor. heartbreaker. enemy. 0/10.

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forgemaiar · 7 years

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Can you tell of Mitsa relationships with Eonwe?

I can tell you it was awkward.

Think of a dorky customer service au waaaaaaaaaaaay back in the First Age where the smol nobody in the forges meets the guy who keeps breaking everything they make for him. Eon trains so much he wears through even reinforced armor. He’s better at taking care of his weapons, but he’s still broken more swords than he can count.

Cue an exasperated Mitsa going “okay fine just show me what you’re doing so we know what we’re up against” which naturally progresses into “no I’m perfectly fine it’s just hot out today um does he ever work out shirtless” and eventually, Very Carefully And Lovingly Detailed Chestplates because Feanor’s still working on that whole written script thing so pictionary is the way to go.

Unfortunately Eon is as dense as marble. By the time he realizes his armor is Very Specially Made (and yes someone had to point it out to him) Mitsa’s just about ready to bludgeon him over the head with his own gauntlet.

For those of you wondering how Mitsa had the patience to flirt with Osse, there it is.

So after a frustratingly long time you have Eon trying to flirt back. And by flirting I mean it goes about as well as can be expected. This is the part of the au where the customer tries to walk in all casual like “ha ha no I totally didn’t break this thing on purpose just to return it and talk to you for a bit it just sort of. happened. you know like. like things do. coincidence amirite” and Mitsa just stares like

are you kidding me. Your knife is still embedded in the shoulder pad from where you tried to carve a flower. And Eon is just *sweats nervously*

It actually does get kind of serious after a while. They visit each others’ workplaces; Eon gets to see Just How Long It Takes To Make The Thing and gains a whole new level of respect for Aule’s Maiar, and Mitsa gets to experience firsthand what his armor has to put up with on the training grounds. This not only lends itself to mutual respect, but it turns out “teach me to use a bow” is a great date idea and to everyone’s surprise Eon comes through by saying “oh I’ve got one better let’s teach you to fly.”

Awkwardly that saves Mitsa’s life later on.

Anyway things were all well and dandy until Sauron went AWOL and Mitsa’s life kind of fell apart from the inside out. Meanwhile Eon has stress up to his eyeballs trying to keep everyone from panicking over Melkor being Melkor (oh no what a surprising surprise we’re all so very shocked the dark lord continues to be a dark lord. who’d have thought) and Finweans forgetting to learn from last year’s family dinner experience. The two of them end up spending far less time together and far more stressing out over all the extra work, but they don’t “officially” break up until Alaquonde blows up. Which is putting it mildly.

So yeah. Awkward to the end.

#ooc #this flame of mind #anomynous

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