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dyker-farmer · 4 years

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More bro fic.... angst fodder kind content.

Take that can away if you can

I never see Shane works that don't go all in for romance nor explore the more realistic ugly parts of recovery, and I kind of crave That TM. So let me have at it too with the self-insert whump mumbo jumbo; no romo version.

Set post-8 hearts event- not 10, jesus-, Farmer Uidelsib is two years or so in, full house built and married to Emily. They/them pronouns, same as me.

Diverges from then on, Shane-centric from an outside POV for the most part.

I also put it on Ao3.

[[MORE]]

A bitch bastard man and a bitch walk into a room... Chapter 1/2/3/4

"I think we should talk about this."

If the room was stifled before, this just causes the pin to drop, and the relative lull to shatter with it. I don't want a storm, but we can't pretend the sea's a slightly oversized pond if we want him not drowning in it- again, my mind supplies, unhelpful.

He's zoning out again, blurry eyes pointedly off me, preferring the turned-off TV.

Let's start easy. "Why did you come here, Shane?"

"I-I-" It sounds like an excuse building up and it bubbles out like a shaken can, "I don't- I shouldn't have-" he goes to up and leave, and we just can't have that.

I scrape my chair closer and grab his shoulder, same as before. Hopefully it's more placating than caging. "No, you should have. You did good. Seeking out, remember?"

He doesn't answer but stills.

"Like Dr.Campbell and Harvey said." I try again.

"Yeah… Yeah." Deep breathing. "I. Don't know." He searches for my face, not quite past the nose. I nod, ushering him on. "It's. Stupid." I frown and my eyebrow goes higher than before and he immediately doubles down. "I know- positiv' reinforchment and all that shit! But… It's hard." A tired hand wipes the most of moisture off his face, before it goes back to wriggle with the other on his lap. "It's so fuckin' hard. Didn't even last two seasons!-"

I cut him off. "Two seasons is a lot! One and a half too. Last time, you'd tried to go cold turkey on the spot. We know what that got us." Sea foam in the mouth and a shared cold in the early spring, on top of a Joja lawsuit. "Shit's hard, like you said. You lasted one and a half this time. Next time-"

"Why the fuck do you always think there's gonna be a next time."

This time, I still. My laidback demeanor mirror his, but so does the cold anger creeping in and tensing both our backs.

"Because. There is going to be a next time. And another after that. And another. Same way there's been next times before this one now."

What's left unsaid we don't touch.

All irritation floods from him like it's just pointless to keep it in anymore, and his forehead goes to thunk softly against the wooden surface he leaned on before. The table muffles his next words a little.

"I can't… keep doing that." I don't peep. "I can't keep rolling back down and then up and down, and up, and down. I- I just can't, Garcia- Uidel-"

"I'll drag you there." I shrug.

"But you shouldn't have to!" His voice raises and make the boards vibrate where his skin's still pressed. "You shouldn't have to-to fuckin'-" he sniffles, the following words drowned out in held-back sobs. "Fuck damn it, you- I said I- I wouldn't be a burden anymore!"

He's crying out loud now, open sorrow and no walls left. Out of all the things you could stick on the not-so amiable man sulking straight from bed to Jojamart to Stardrop Saloon to bed, you probably wouldn't think of "extreme scare of bothering anyone". Yet it's all here in how he collapses silently in the mattress, wake without a sound, keep his head down the whole time he crosses town, tries to merge himself in the fake-nice blue of the shelves at work, then corners himself right between the chimney and the bar on Emily's side, stuck in-between two sources of warmth that can never touch him unless he swings one way or the other. And he doesn't a lot, still keeping to himself strictly. You probably wouldn't think either of how dreamy he gets, hidden in his alcove but seeing everything from there.

When Harvey nerds out about classical, jazz and electro swing music down the bar to me, trying to catch me up on my fuzzy memories of arts history and the implications of breaking codes in the tempo and the leisure of each instruments; of how each note gets a specific response from the brain if done right, and can make up for caffeine deprivation in miraculous ways, when there are no more chances to push back the dread of midterms season at doctor school.

When Elliott, boisterous and drunk, arm-on-arm with an equally inebriated Leah, calls out to the whole place to hear out his latest soliloquy, and drags on the words too much, but with a voice that carries it well, all flamboyance and no limits, as his hair floats around him in a crown and he reigns over the room like a kind lion- Description all intoxicated words from your chicken man truly, not mine. I always get too caught up in the pendulum of Leah's braid and her crooked smile to quite appreciate his theatrics. But the recital rings clear, and everyone applauds the performance- because hey, you applaud a drunk guy showing off the prowess of not tripping a single word in a ten minutes tirade, but also because it really is that good! Everyone, even Shane, whose hands zipped to under his armpits the moment our eyes crossed and I met his pink cheeks with a clairvoyant smile.

Hey, what can I say. Dude's a sapiosexual. Hence why we'll never and cannot bang. That, and, uh, the being lesbian thing.

But all this is closed off and not for anyone to see behind see-through fogged windows, like those kitchen cabinets, when you can make out the piled plates all resting against the cold surface precariously, bound to crash and shatter the moment you open them.

It took a good wrecking ball of a fake-oblivious polite faced stranger and my incessant, hot pepper poppers-powered pestering, to even just crackles the glass.

The rest was all done out of his own volition. He can't see that because alcohol is a depressant, and guzzling it down leads to blurry concepts made softer always and pretty much lush in brain, and when he's off the thing, and that's rare, he instantly goes from not there to thinking he's everywhere, soiling everything and giving nothing.

His sobbing doesn't relent, and he whimpers issues of "trustworthy sack of shit", "not being worth the fucking shrink's money", "not being worth his aunt's troubles", "not being worth Jas". At some point he goes to grapple with his hair, and tugs brusquely once, then twice, then I have to reach for his wrist to make him stop, which he snatches back as soon as I make contact. But he doesn't grab anything to pull or pinch or punch again, so that's good. I stay on standby beside him, but don't touch him. He rasps more condemnations, struggles to breathe enough through the phlegm spreading in his respiratory system, and I start reenacting the steps to stop a hyperventilation in my head, and the first aid for choking, when he begins to cough violently, his entire frame upset with the movement.

He takes the tissue box i nudge with insistence toward him, and ends up spitting mouthfuls of mucus mixed with some bile in the basin under his feet. Most of it is clear and smells of fruits, not beer, so I'm not too worried. When I go to stabilize him by taking his shoulders, he grasps at my wrists to stop me- but let them stay here, while he clings. The tremors get to me now, and I remind myself that this is good, this is before the cliffs and him finding refuge to burst open, not glassily stare at the weeping clouds as he blabbers on the meaninglessness of his life.

This is… very alive.

I ought to be glad.

I let him come down at his rhythm, counting the pulses of his wrists as I feel mine numb with the blood circulation slowed down under his hold.

When he's back with a mind, I count to three, then let go. His arms flop back down, on his lap and hands dangling between his tighs. He blows his nose again.

"I'm so pathetic…"

"Yeah sure, and I'm a serial prom queen."

Instead of jabbing back and forth, we get interrupted by a soft mewling. Both of us turn to the door, that's opened slightly to let in Eryza, the pitter-patter of her paws on the stone flooring the only sound for a moment…

As we both stare in revulsion at her jaw, a single line of vomit dripping of it.

Shane puts his head down in shame, not even having the strenght to hide further.

"Sorry."

"Nah, 's okay. She's already trash, anyway."

Eryza edges closer and rapidly tour around our legs- going back to Shane's feet twice, her whiskers tickling his exposed ankles. Purring loudly, she completely ignore my chastizing as I threaten to make her diet periwinkle-based to counter-act her literal potty mouth, and she scampers to do who-knows-what in the rooms.

"Your vibes are rancid, do you hear me?? Rancid, girl!" I call after her. "I swear to Yoba, Shane, your aunt might as well have brought me a raccoon."

Turning back to him, I can see the short-lived humor of the situation was, well, short-lived. I sigh.

It's late. We're both tired. Tomorrow is sunday. It's cool. We've got time.

I don't sit back down right away. First, I put a hand down on the nape of his neck, that slides to the top of his scalp, right where he'd tug. My quota, remember?

He sniffles some, a few teardrops make their way to the planks, unheard. We stay like this for a moment.

He doesn't shake me off, but in the slow tandem his body takes, rocking lightly from back to forth, I can tell it's enough, for now.

I sit back down on my chair.

I lean on the hand I'd put in his dark purple strands before, smelling cedar wood and pine trees. I don't assume. My farm has plenty of those to stumble through. And even if he went back to the cliff, another time again. I do that too. With my own cliffs back at not-home, but close. There's a sense, in staring down what couldn't take you.

Like visiting a scene crime that you've narrowly escaped from. And pride too. And the thrill of asking- "what if again? What if this time?"- and okay, I can see why it'd be worrying to have him go there a thrice time on his own late in the evening.

But last time was fine, the one before was made fine, and he might need a bitch for a friend right now, but not a watchdog.

His forehead is back against the table.

Three fingers massage my temple. I don't know how much he'll even remember tomorrow, but it's worth the try, always.

"Shane, dude, look at me." He doesn't.

"Dude."

Still doesn't budge. I knock the wood lightly.

"Yo, punk, my eyes are up here." I joke.

He snorts, or maybe he sniffles, and his chin's now resting on the table, peering through the forgotten drinks to watch me. His hands are hidden, probably still clutching his midsection. If I went on a rollercoaster toasted, I'd probably look the exact same.

"I told you before that you literally couldn't be a burden."

He snorts for sure this time, derisive. I knock wood again. "Don't look away from me when I talk, young man. Rude ass punk."

"Bitch." He throws.

"Bitch bastard man." I send back. "Anyways, as I was saying. If I choose you're my dumb of ass to keep around, that's me, that's my decision. You can't burden me if I choose the hard mode package and roll with it. So stop it. I literally told you before, it's not about you not making efforts or burdening people, it's about people who want to deal with you, out of free will."

"Freaky."

"Oh shut up, you dramatic himbo wannabe."

"A what now?"

"Internet slang. Gotta admit you're closer to a dad bod type, but the energy's here, according to many."

He shuffles, self-conscious. "Y'don't need to remind me…"

"Oh hush you, you're perfectly fine. And Elliott would eat his dumb little lobster and pomegranate toasts off that belly if you'd grow out of your own shell and let him."

He sputters unintelligibly, red as a fecking pepper. Good. Flustered is better than self-depreciating.

But now he's pulled on his hood and the strings all the way out, and resumes to chanting me to fuck off, so that might be a good call for a break.

"I'm gonna change and clean up, you need anything? Do you think you'll go back to the ranch, or stay here for the night?" It's happened before, but you can count them on the fingers of one hand.

A long silence follows and I allow myself a quick look in the mirror. Yeah, we're skipping a shower tonight, but the simple hairbrush will not do. I look like a bird's nest that the birds fought in to know who'd keep the children when bird 2 takes off and bird 1 is left to mourn the empty space that'll never fill up the same again and the good times that won't be- wow, trauma lane much, not now, cowpal. First we buckle up our current rodeo. I walk back to the main room, now pajama-clad.

"I've got the beds for the possible kids up there, don't ask me why Robin put so many there, we're two people in a house, and I can lend you a Tee if you want."

He's anxious, chewing his thumb. "Emily won't mind?"

"She's out, sleeping at Haley's tonight. Girls' night and sisters catching up. It's important for her energy flow and karmic balance. Plus, you know she wouldn't mind, she likes you."

That makes him blush more, covering up the alcohol damage enough. I take note, but don't comment. Things for later. They pile up tonight.

"I- I can't go back to the ranch like this."

"You could. Marnie knows better than act as if you're doing this for fun, now. She'd have to understand. But you don't have to." I reassure him when agitated pupils jump up to me. Let's keep that ongoing panic attack at bay. "Either way, I won't mind."

I sit back. Stretch my arms between us. Catch his worrying hands into mine. Give him a squeeze. Tense appendages don't squeeze back, but don't pull back either. That's half a win. He stops torturing the poor things, and unfold with visible effort, like a crumpled up paper flower put on water. His head shakes, and I can't tell if it's conscious, him speaking with himself or trying to shake off a thought, or just a reflex. He visibly forces his shoulders to relax.

"I'm… not bothering you?" Righteous. Seeking vocal positive reinforcement, like a pro.

"Nope." I pop out the 'p'.

"... I think I'll, uh, stay for tonight."

My hands shoot into the air. "Woo! Sleepover, baby!"

I don't catch his hands curling back on themselves, trying to capture that leftover warmth in the late summer night.

--- to be continued.

#panic attack cw #emetophobia cw #alcohol cw #suicide cw #stardew valley shane #stardew valley farmer #sdv shane #sdv farmer #☆writing☆#1!Dow Farm #Farmer Uidelsib #♧Shane

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zombiiesque · 3 years

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Nocturne Alchemy Osirian Purnima Perfumes Part Two

Originally published 3/24/19

Welcome back to the second half of my Osirian Purnima (OP) reviews! Y'all, I've put off reviewing these, because I just don't know if I have enough of a language to give them the accolades they deserve, but here we are, I'll continue along. They are really something special. All of my life, I'd loved incense, and to be able to wear a perfume that smells like incense (plus other amazing notes)? Yes, please. NA has done something truly incredible with these.

If you've already read Part One, found here, you can skip through these next few paragraphs, but I want to post the OP base and my little speech for anyone who might have come here first.

All of the Osirian Purnimas (OPs, for short) have the same base, so from the website: "Each Osirian Purnima includes the original OP recipe in addition to the notes above for each individual perfume. The Osirian Purnima blend uses the most beautiful and exotic of ingredients, including the tuned recipe of Bastet’s Zamsara: An exotic Blue Incense blended into the dark sensuality of aged Kashmir in Mahogany wood and a drop of Santalum Black, Black Frankincense, Black Hessonite, Bastet's Amber and aged Eternal Ankh Vanilla Absolute. This was then blended into Purnima Incense: Blue Coriander, Italian Bergamot, Ambrette Musk, NA Incense Accord, Egyptian Cedar Chips, Palo Santo Chips and genus of three beautiful Frankincense Olibanum Resin: B. Carteri, B. Thurifera and B. Serrata. Solid Myrrh wood is then stirred in and taken out, leaving a trace element of sweet wood within the blend. Intoxicating blend of Labdanum Extract, Benzoin Syrup and Oakmoss stir in the incense ephemeral element to the blend. Five Sandalwood perfume oils swirl throughout the Osirian."

The labels are gorgeous. They're done by Trista Musco, an artist from New Orleans. If you click on my photo up top, you can have a closer look. Little, beautiful works of art, representing each God or Goddess. All the names are from the Egyptian pantheon.

A caveat: The components of this series are delicate due to the very nature of the oil compositions with their finite incense notes of absolute, essential and steam distilled nature. Travel really disturbs them. The impulse is to open them and at least sniff them, if not try them immediately, but they're going to be very off. Whenever I get a new OP, I won't even open it for a week. It's entirely up to you, of course, but I would hate for someone to get the wrong impression and miss out on something special. When they first came out, this was the one request Seth had for us, to please give it a few days, so as to have a proper first introduction. I have also found that giving these a full month aging really changes them. I was a little underwhelmed at first by OP Pakhet, my first choice of the series, and I didn't understand what I was missing. Everyone had rave reviews. So I stuck it away in a dark box, and went back to it about a month after I got it. The change was mind blowing - it was an incredible scent, far from underwhelming! /soapbox

Okay, there we go! Information passed along, let's get started on these last five Gods and Godesses, shall we?

OP ANUBIS: Guardian of the Necropolis, protector of the dead – With Underworld Oudh (unreleased ICON) at the base of this perfume with Black Frankincense and Black Myrrh ruminating through smoke, the Guardian of the Necropolis protects his dead with the incense of dark wood and rich incense smoke. Ooof, Anubis is absolutely brimming with deep resins. The myrrh is beautifully sweet, balancing the almost citrusy frankincense. Smoky incense provides a counter to the sweet. I bet Underworld Oudh would have been incredible, because the glimpse I get of it here sure does intrigue me. If you've got the SL Ember, it reminds me the tiniest bit of that - but it's much more complex. I adore Ember, so this was definitely one I'd wanted, and it doesn't disappoint. Mesmerizing, and yet so cozy.

OP BABA: God of aggression and controller of darkness – Black Musk & Nag Champa are the wild animal tamed only by a God. Oh, how do I love the various nag champas NA does, and this one is no exception. The black musk is so plush here, it's a wonderful juxtaposition against the nag champa, which is of course perfect with the OP base. I used to be scared of black musks, they can be so overwhelming and strident, but Nocturne Alchemy has by far the best I've ever smelled, it's just so appealing to me. It doesn't drown out the more delicate incense notes, but rather enhances them in a beautiful dance. And this one has special meaning to me, it's the name of an ancient Mesopotamian healing Goddess, and I have always had a connection to her, so I was really drawn to this. It was my third OP, and I wear this a lot when I am doing meditation or ritual work. It really helps with focus.

OP OSIRIS: God of the dead, God of the afterlife and resurrection into eternal life. Black Amber Incense is the base of this God of the afterlife, the resurrection of scent comes in the billow of incense and dark amber notes. This one is really close to my heart. I was pretty distraught when Laura, a dear friend and invaluable member of the Nocturne Alchemy community, passed away last year. I probably wore this for a solid month, it brought me so much comfort. Osiris is the dark amber version of OP Isis, there's a wonderfully fresh amber here, it's almost sweet, but it's a deep, viscous and mysterious. It's balanced against a smoky note and the OP base, a beautiful incense with this. It curls around you in a fragrant warmth. There's a feel of protection and comfort here.

OP SET: God of Chaos, Storms and Darkness; Lord of Sepermeru – With NAVA Egyptian Temple Oudh at the base of this perfume, the chaos of incense and rich dark smoky woods permeates this God of storms and darkness. Set has one of my all-time favorites featured, Egyptian Temple Oudh. I've raved and raved about this Icon, so I'm sure regular readers know how much it has my heart. Here are the notes: "A more intense Oudh that softens over time on the skin. Egyptian Agarwood Oudh is represented here and it is recommended for first time Oudh enthusiasts to inhale from the bottle softly or fan the open bottle toward you with your hand to catch the nuances of smoking embers, dried honeycomb and sandalwood." It's a smoky, deep, and a little sticky wood, and my bottle is so thick at this point, it's almost gummy. And I adore it. If this sounds pretty amazing to you, I really encourage you to get a bottle of OP Set and age it - it's one that I would more firmly advocate needs a good long time to come into its own, but I promise it's worth it to sock it away in a dark corner of a box and just walk away. Set is pretty simply Egyptian Temple Oudh and incense, but it's an experience. The incense adds a subtle sweetness to it, but it doesn't take away that incredible, deep dark sensuous smoke and wood. For me, this is like going into a temple at night. There are piles of smoky, fragrant incense, and immediately you are drawn away from your daily worries, and into a sacred space where you are calm and at peace. It's wonderful for meditating, but of course, I wear it more often than that. This one might possibly be my favorite, but of course I can't make that decision, I love them all so much.

OP SOBEK: Alchemist against evil, protector from crocodiles and the Lord of Faiyum; controller of waters – deep blood red Kashmir and Crimson musk flow throughout the OP perfume. Two of my favorite musks ever, combined with incense. Of course I love Sobek! Unapologetic, sexy red musk of Kashmir, against the cleaner, brighter red musk of Crimson. What a great combination here. So appealing! The incense base definitely provides a balance for Kashmir, which can be absolutely full speed, no stop - here, you're able to get all three aspects, and that's really awesome. However, if you're looking for a softer musk scent, this is definitely not it. This is definitely a warm red scent, and it isn't shy. I get a lot of compliments from random strangers when I wear this - people find it very appealing, and unusual.

I forgot something, and I feel like it's important to add this in. So, the OPs are all quite potent - especially aged. They last a wonderfully long time on me, and they are not in any way skin scents - a little does go a long way. I would start out with a light hand, and if you want more, you can always add to it! Also, I wanted to mention that I wear these year 'round. You might think, looking at the notes, that they're too heavy for spring or summer, and in my experience, they actually do great in the humidity down here in Florida. So give them a try, you might find yourself really enjoying them in warmer weather!

Okay, so that's the last of the OPs that I have. I'm missing Ammut, Horus, Khepri, Khnum, and Sekhmet. Hah, and I want all five! I've especially had my eye on Ammut, Horus, and Khepri, but I have definitely been loving myrrh and frankincense a lot more than I used to, so they'll have to come home one of these days. Which ones do you have? Which are you wanting to bring home? Who is your favorite? Gods, I couldn't choose one, if I had to. It's such a sublime collection, a magnum opus to incense. A love letter to the Egyptian pantheon. And now, the promise of more, with the arrival of the Spring collection! I'm beside myself. I hope y'all have a wonderful Sunday. Wear something beautiful today.

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josephbr911 · 7 years

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Build Something!

As many of you know, woodworking is one of my hobbies (chores if my wife makes me do it). In the grand scheme I'd say I'm certainly an amateur, but I've still built things that I'm proud of. And whatever your skill level may be, it can be such a rewarding endeavor (not to mention a money saver). Anyone's who's relished in the sweet smell of fresh cut cedar or had their eyes open wide when they apply that first coat of stain and watch that grain come to life knows what I mean. It just makes you want to make more. Whether they're trinkets or decorations or furniture, my house or other people’s homes are starting to get littered with products of my wood shop (garage).

Whenever I build something new, I inevitably get asked from others one of two, if not both questions:

1. Can you make me one? (Quick answer: Yes, if you help out, supply (or pay for) materials, and provide the beer.

2. How did you get started doing this (and how can I start doing this)?

I'll use this post to answer question 2 and hopefully get you on the path of making some sweet sawdust of your own!

A. Get some tools and supplies. When possible, get power tools. Power makes the world go round. NOTE: I'm only going to list building tools and supplies. Finishing supplies is a whole other can of worms.

Mandatory:

Wood -- Duh. I have found that all kinds of beautiful things can be made out of cheap construction timbers (knotty pine) with a little finesse. Birch plywood is great for large panels and looks beautiful with stain. MDF is also a great material for large panels, but you can’t stain it (gotta paint it), you better pre-drill your screw holes, and it makes a awful mess when you cut it. Cut it outside and wear a mask. Beyond that, you can spend as much as you want on higher end boards like poplar, oak, maple, walnut, cherry, etc... but prepare for a little sticker shock if you need several board feet.

Tape measure and speed square -- these will let you accurately measure out and mark cut lines. The speed square can also be used as a handy fence to make quick and straight cross cuts with a circular saw.

Hammer and rubber mallet -- uses of the hammer are obvious. The rubber mallet is very handy for "coaxing" tight pieces into place without marring them.

Safety glasses, ear protection, and shop apron -- self explanatory.

Clamps, clamps, and more clamps -- a woodworker can never have enough clamps. You can get a lot done with a variety of sizes of bar clamps, C clamps, and spring clamps. To save some dough, pick up the cheapies at Harbor Freight. I've got tons of them and they've served me well. Seriously, get a lot of clamps.

A supply of wood glue and nails/fasteners -- TiteBond II is the glue you want. Just always have some on hand. The fasteners will accumulate as you buy more for specific projects.

Cordless Drill/driver -- Any homeowner should already own a decent one. Bonus point if you pick up an impact driver. While not necessary, an impact driver makes driving large screws a breeze and makes stripped out heads a thing if the past. Once I used one I wondered how I lived without it. Of course with these tools you'll need an assortment of drill bits and driving bits. They can be bought in affordable kits. In my experience, Ryobi bits suck.

Circular saw or Jig Saw -- A circular saw (go corded to start out) is very versatile and can perform a variety of cuts... except curved cuts. A jig saw excels in making curved cuts in thinner materials and smaller, more intricate cuts (good for arts and crafts). I'd start out with a circular saw and perhaps add the jig saw as funds become available.

Power Sander -- Some may argue this is optional, but F that. Life is too short to sand shit by hand. Get either a pad sander or random orbital sander and a variety of sanding disks or paper. 80, 150, and 220 grit (or close to those numbers) should cover 98% of your sanding needs.

Cold beer and tunes -- what fun is working in the garage without a pop and Metallica in the background?

Optional:

Kreg Pocket Hole Jig -- I suppose this is one of the "optional" items, but seriously, just spend $100 and buy the K4 system. It is basically "wood joints for dummies". Ask anyone who owns one and they'll echo my sentiments. I wish I'd have known about it when I started woodworking. it allows you to easily fasten pieces together with a fairly strong joint while skipping complex wood joining methods. Buy it.

Miter saw AKA chop saw -- A chop saw will make fast, accurate, and repeatable cross cuts all day long. It can also make angled cuts (either miters or bevels, and both at once). Most simple 10" saws will cleanly cut up to 2x6s and 4x4s, but you'll need a 12" or sliding saw to cut larger pieces. I have a 10" and it's plenty for 95% of what I want to do. While very handy, I would not get only a chop saw and skip the circular saw. Get the circ saw first (it can perform more tasks) and add a chop saw when your ready.

Router and variety of bits -- a router is what can really take your finished projects to professional looking. While a router can perform many tasks, I mostly use it to put a decorative profile on the edge of pieces, like a table top. A simple round over or chamfered edge make your projects look finished. While you can buy a fire-breathing router with a table, I've been plenty satisfied with a "trim router" that accepts 1/4" collet bits. Getting a plunge base with it will further enhance its abilities.

Shop vacuum -- Cutting wood makes a damn mess. If you want, I suppose you could get by with a broom and dust pan, but a capable shop vac makes life easier. But which one? My answer is simple. When you're browsing the selection at your local Home Depot or Lowes, get the one that costs $100.00.

Nail Gun -- If you already have an air compressor at home (for filling tires, basketballs, blowing things off, etc...) you’re halfway there. I picked up an open-box 18ga brad nailer off of Amazon a while ago. It is awesome for tacking on small trim pieces and barely leaves a nail hole. Highly recommended if you can swing it.

Advanced:

Table saw -- while many say that a table saw is the heart of any wood shop, for most of us it isn't going to be an early purchase or practical. I've been fortunate enough to have anytime access to one thanks to my neighbor (thanks Lloyd!) and recently picked up a small one from a garage sale. They excel at rip cuts and are extremely versatile. With certain sleds and accessories, you can do almost anything on a table saw. But they can be pricey and can take up a lot of room. If you have extensive rip cuts that you need done but don’t have a table saw or they may be too big a task for your circular saw, ask the friendly faces at Home Depot or Lowes to make a cut for you. When you buy lumber you’re allowed two free cuts per, and you can usually sweet talk them into more. Just leave them a nice review.

Planer -- This machine let's you control the thickness of your materials. Very nice for if you're making a table top out of multiple boards and want to ensure they're all the exact same thickness, among other things. They can also remove surface imperfections and leave the planed surface clean and almost finish-ready. They also make one HELL of a mess. Use it in your driveway with your shop vac on hand.

There are of course more advanced tools you will see in professional wood shops, but I'm not trying to cover that full scope. This is for the hobbyist.

B. Get a plan. Some people are good at throwing caution to the wind and cutting wood and slapping shit together. I am not one of those people. Thankfully we live in the age of YouTube, Pinterest, and websites like Ana-white.com and rogueengineer.com . There are all kinds of plans and projects on these sources with materials lists, cut lists, finishing tips, etc... Even if the project isn't to your scale, you can always crunch the numbers and adjust to your needs. Brush up on your fractions. I have a little notebook where each page is grid paper. I like to sketch out projects to double check my measurements and make sure the math adds up.

C. Don't be afraid to make a mistake. You learn by doing and you learn from your mistakes. I get better with each project by learning from my previous mistakes. And for the most part, wood is cheap. Of course, by this I don’t mean throw caution to the wind when it comes to safety, which brings us to...

D. BE CAREFUL! Power tools are dangerous. Hell, regular hand tools can be dangerous. I have a few scars to prove that, but thankfully still have all my fingers. In my opinion, two tools you should have a healthy fear of are the table saw and the router.

E. A few tips I’ve learned over the years:

“A little putty and paint makes a carpenter what he ain’t”. A sander, some putty or filler, and some paint can fix a lot of boo boos.

A sharp knife is a safe knife. Too true. If you try to force work pieces against dull blades, you are greatly increasing the risk of something slipping and sending that blade into your fingers. Keep your tools sharp.

If you have access to some of the advanced tools like a planer and table saw, you can make good use of salvaged wood (just watch for nails!). For example, the trestle coffee table pictured towards the top of this post was make exclusively from wood I found behind a dumpster. That's right, I was dumpster diving.

Work with a friend or neighbor if possible. It will lessen the physical load, give you another set of hands, and put two brains together when trying to solve a problem. Besides, who likes drinking woodworking alone?

That's all for now. Have fun making sawdust!

-JR

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