#I've seen men complaining about the inequality. That's the point. Now you know how it feels. Apply that same frustration

[batfamfucker]

What About The Kens?

I'm already seeing guys complain about the Barbie movie end, how they wanted Kens to be equal in Barbieland but were only given a small part on the Cabinet.

That's the point.

You're meant to feel bad for the Kens. Believe me, women aren't partying over the 'Returns to Matriarch' ending. Some will be, but the ones who also clocked the meaning behind it won't. Most women will also feel bad for Kens. Because it's an exact parallel to how women are treated in reality.

Men, you're meant to be upset. You're meant to question it. Because you're meant to feel it, and feel what that is like, so you can finally understand women. You're upset at seeing it in a movie, now imagine living it in reality. That's being a woman.

Kens were shit on so you could feel what it was like for women this entire time. Kens were being used as a placement so you could see yourself in a woman's shoes. A world dominated by the opposite sex. When Ken leaves, and sees male presidents (All men) for the first time, men being doctors and lawyers, etc, realising he is more than just a prop for Barbie, that was on purpose. Because that is the feeling that Barbie gave to women. It's why you cheer for him at first before he goes a little overboard.

It's exactly why the real world was an exaggerated Partriarchy and Barbieland an exaggerated Matriarchy. Neither wins. Neither is equal. None of them change for the better. It's why you should want women in the real world to be respected, and Kens in Barbieland to be respected.

The thing is, women also didn't win. Not in the real world. In Barbieland, yes, but not anywhere else. The real world didn't change. But you didn't notice, did you? That Gloria (The mother that helped Barbie) also didn't get a position on the Mattel board? It was still all men? Her idea was ignored until it made a profit, and the men will likely get the credit? She'll still just be the receptionist? The women representing the real world didn't get anymore opportunities, neither did the men in Barbieland.

I was hoping that Gloria would be offered a position on the board, and that the Barbie Cabinet would introduce another entire Cabinet to represent the Kens, but neither happened. They're complete mirrors.

But which one did you actually notice? Which did you actually care about? Now tell me again the ending was unfair. Because it was. For both parties. That's the point.

The difference is, Barbieland is fictional. You will walk out of the theatre with the reassurance that at least it's not real. Women won't. Women can't. Companies not giving women equal opportunities or voices isn't fictional, and that was just one example. There are no women presidents (USA at least) for us to go look at in the real world. We don't have somewhere to go to realise it could be different for us like Ken did. Barbie and make believe is all we had when we were kids, or even now.

You're supposed to be mad, just not at the movie.

#It's going right over people's heads #I've seen men complaining about the inequality. That's the point. Now you know how it feels. Apply that same frustration #And turn it into empathy for women in reality. Because it's not nice is it? #Please for the love of God people need lessons in analysis and critical thinking #It's not a 'women just hate men and this is a women only movie' #It's please realise that you've seen what it's like to be in women's shoes. Now be the change for women that you wanted for Kens. #Barbie #Barbie Spoilers

[loser-female]

Disclaimer: I'm doing a night shift so yeah, mistakes and all that jazz have a reason to be.

OOP post was about the difficulty of having a romantic relationship with a man because he was misogynistic.

Here are responses that bothered me and I've decided to make another post to highlight how damaging this is on feminism and women. Under the cut because this is stupid long.

For context, I'm in a relationship with a man and I'm in several women-majority groups.

Women and feminists are NOT a rehabilitation center for misogynistic men - and this is such dangerous advice because when I see a woman complaining about the relationship she has... It's ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS watered down to not make the man look like the abuser he often is.

Don't settle for an asshole - right, because a man's misogyny is a woman's fault. And because we all know men go around with a misogyny level tattooed on their face, so women know they can avoid it and if trying to fix him could work.

The fact that men can be better is irrelevant to the questions OOP was rising. She deserves a better partner *now*, not to invest herself in a building-a-boyfriend project that won't work.

And there is more than that: even if you date the perfect man the relationship will always be unbalanced in his favour.

This is because women in relationships are seen as less productive, less "trustworthy" than men in relationships, for which it's the opposite. And the woman is always assumed to earn less, to do all the housework and childcare.

OOP complaints about this are absolutely valid.

And this "but there are better men!" Is actively undermining the efforts of the literal 4 feminists left to fight domestic inequality.

Because that's an issue no one cares about. Mainstream feminism tells women men have changed (they have not, they just adapted their misogyny), so it's "safe"to date men and when this doesn't work any criticism on 2023 misogyny goes down the toilet, because "stereotyping an entire gender is wrong", shutting down any conversation about domestic inequality.

Which, if you call yourself a feminist of any kind, should be aware about. Especially how it ties directly with domestic violence.

Then the comment that enraged me.

Acknowledging misogyny or inequality in a relationship doesn't mean having a victim mentality.

Also, radicalisation ≠ radical feminism (what the hell even, but okay, what this is supposed to mean. Online radicalisation is a serious issue, but generally speaking we are talking about terrorists. People you don't like ≠ terrorists. The manosphere is a recruitment center for right wing domestic terrorists, this why the intelligence pays attention to it, because -at least in the europol reports - it's the primary concern for authorities. Radical feminism = addressing the root of the problem, patriarchy, by dismantling the current power status. But whatever, why I even waste my time like this.)

People of all genders can be shitty - well, we have several studies that show us what "gender" is shittier, like we have numbers. I don't know what the reasons are for these numbers, but it doesn't matter, because this is not the point. The point was that a relationship between a man and a woman, even if you are a rich housewife from the suburbs of IDK what city is cool now in the US, is still unbalanced. And this cannot be fixed by picking a "better man", because it's not necessarily about finding a better man, a good man doesn't erase patriarchy or other men's misogyny.

More importantly: what is a better man?

That's a question that is rarely answered in a genuine way. A lot of people say that a good man is a leftist, other a Christian...

Because, well, it's not like we have a scale of measurement of misogyny. We draw our conclusions from the past experiences (although things like trauma influence them), from the people around us, from the culture we are in and our personal values. "Look out for good men" is not a solution to OOP problem, is not a solution for *any* problem, as it isn't denying that there is, in fact, a problem.

It's also funny that the author of this comment thinks that the acknowledgement of unfairness in a relationship with a man means isolation. You know what is even more isolating? Having people that calls themselves feminists (!!!)deny your personal experience to protect an imaginary man feelings.

Conclusion:

The replies to a perfectly normal post like "I hate that my boyfriend is misogynistic" have been incredibly sexist, not surprisingly, coming directly from the victim blaming repertoire of "not all men", "you could have chosen better", "don't play the victim". It misses "you're crazy" for an inch, with zero acknowledgement of the hurt OOP was experiencing (and no, "your feelings are valid BUT" is not acknowledging anything) and the fact that... it probably was just a vent post, which makes the "NAM" preaching 10 times worse, adding this to focusing on OOP's actions like she was personally responsible for her boyfriend bad behaviour or, to me even worse, guilty of passively (according to these comments) accepting it or not trying enough.

Which is bad.

(yes I was bored. Nothing happened tonight. Now I go to sleep)

#ada.txt #relationships #men #misogyny #feminism #radical feminists safe #radical feminists do touch #domestic inequality