#Jan 15 cannot come quickly enough tbh

[dredshirtroberts]

yeah guys idk I'm just thinking maybe the lightheadedness and desire to sit down about halfway through putting away groceries my whole life might not have just been a reaction to the way my parents were when i was a kid and the accompanying anxiety and sudden flurry of movement, but also possibly maybe i have a Health Thing about this...

#thank god i finally scheduled that doctor's appointment #Jan 15 cannot come quickly enough tbh #like i've streamlined getting shit put away and i hurry as soon as the wooziness starts hitting because i know i'm on borrowed time #and that's when the trauma reaction kicks in of ''i can't stop halfway through i'll be in trouble'' anxiety #because i *enjoy* putting away groceries and organizing the kitchen #i just also can't without a lot of assistance and plenty of spoons and time to prepare myself physically and mentally beforehand #this post brought to you by i had this realization doing the groceries and now i'm having like a lot of thoughts about it #i can't do it all in one go ever and i have never been able to without someone else handling about half of it #no matter how much i get or of what i can only get about half put away before time's up and i gotta sit down #it's why so much of my food was non-perishable when i was on my own #cause i'd get the cold things put away because they *had* to be #and then i couldn't physically do any more - especially if the groceries that week were more cold than non-perishable #but like yeah if i had to stop or take a break in putting away the groceries (despite also having gone to the grocery store #and walked around the whole store and grabbed items AND carried the heavy things into the house because i was the heavy lifter #AND i was in sports and had probably either just done a lot of exercise or was still in recovery from the day before/earlier that day) #i got fussed at for not helping out #so that's fucked up and fuck my mom actually she sucks #ugh