#OOPS i guess its *same* disability presentation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

calpalsworld · 3 years

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Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

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coffeecrusadeclub · 5 years

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Marry You

Cyrus POV:

I paced back and forth the living room of my 2 bedroom apartment. TJ was at work and I had Andi, Buffy, and Jonah over trying to prepare for my date with him tonight. It wasn’t our first date, and hopefully not our last. It was just our normal Friday Date Night, except it wasn’t. Not for me anyway. You see I had been planning to propose to TJ for months and today was finally the day, and man were nerves hitting hard.

“Cyrus! Cyrus stop!” Andi exclaimed pulling me from my thoughts, while Buffy grabbed my shoulders to stop me from pacing.

“Everything is going to be fine Cyrus. He’s going to say yes” Buffy loosened her grip on my shoulders and we sat down across from Andi and Jonah.

“But what if he doesn’t! What if he says um! What if he says he has to use the bathroom and leaves! What if-”

“Cyrus!” All three shouted, stopping my ramble from going further.

“He’s going to say yes Cy-guy” Jonah smiled softly at me

“Just relax, breathe Cyrus. There is no reason to stress out” Andi squeezed my hand softly.

“Easy for you to say! You’re not the one proposing!” I exclaimed back frantically, causing the whole group to laugh

“Well Cyrus, may we remind you she proposed to Amber, and was not nearly this stressed” Buffy laughed, shoving me playfully.

“Yeah well- that was different okay!” I put my head down on the table.

“Cyrus I promise you it’s going to be okay” Buffy put a hand on my shoulder

“But what if it’s not. We couldn’t be more different. What if- what if he’s only dating me still because he feels bad? I’m sure he’s gotten tired of me complaining all the time. Or tired of having to deal with me on bad days, which are often I-” I cut myself off and sighed

“Cy have you seen the way he looks at you?” Andi questioned

“Or how he talks about you, man when you aren’t around he talks about you as if you were water and he was dying of thirst.” Jonah stated laughing softly

“And when we play basketball all I have to do is shout ‘hey Cyrus’ and he gets distracted instantly and starts fixing his hair” Buffy added and I shoved her playfully

“Hey that’s cheating! You use me to cheat” I joked

“I don’t use you to cheat. I use your name, there’s a difference Cy” she teased

“Still!” I smiled softly before taking a deep breath

“Alright lets get you ready its already 7, he’ll be here in a few minutes. So that means you don’t have much of a head start” Andi announced

As if he had been summoned, we heard TJ’s keys jingle and he walked in.

“You guys! I was waiting for you to buzz me up for 15 minutes! Where are your phones!?” Marty exclaimed walking in behind TJ.

“Oops sorry love” Buffy greeted her boyfriend with a kiss

“I still don’t get why you are all here to help us get ready. Its just date night, we do this every week” TJ laughed as he put his keys on the counter.

“Because we haven’t helped you get ready for a date night in awhile and we have nothing better to do so me and Andi are making the boys help” Buffy replied. TJ believed that because luckily enough for us that was exactly like something they would do.

“Alright no more chit chat. TJ hurry and take a shower. A FAST shower, Me and Jonah are helping Cyrus so by the time you get out we should have already picked out clothes and whatever hair supplies we need and made it into the guest room. Marty and Buffy are helping you in the main bedroom ok? ok. Lets go!” Andi order and we all followed commands.

~~~

It took about half an hour to get me ready, it took TJ 10 minutes longer because of his shower. Jonah, Andi, and I had been seated in the living room when Buffy and Marty made their way into the hall.

“Cyrus Goodman, may we now present to you the boy you are for some reason in love with..” Buffy started, causing me to blush.

“Mr. TJ Kippen! Can you take the floor please” Marty finished as they moved out of the way to reveal TJ. I stood up and smiled at him

“You look- you look amazing TJ.” I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Same to you darling dearest” TJ smiled at me, softly leaning in to kiss me.

“Ok! Hurry go your reservations are in 15 minutes!” Buffy shouted pulling us apart and rushing us out the door.

“Alright Driscoll we’re going. And hey guys? Don’t be here when we get home yeah?” TJ smirked at them and a blush crept along my face as they all agreed they’d be gone.

~~~

After dinner I ended up in the drivers side of our car, with TJ in the passenger seat unsure of where we were going.

“Hey you missed the turn” TJ instructed pointed backwards

“No I didn’t we aren’t going home love” I smiled, softly pressing my hand against my sweater pocket where the box, holding the ring, was located.

“Where are we going? I want to go home and have you to myself. I don’t want to share you anymore today, I wanted to show you something” TJ whined. I giggled in response.

“We are going to the park. We haven’t been to the swings in awhile, I miss them” I smiled.

It was only half a lie. We were going to the swings, and it had been awhile. But we weren’t going because I missed them. That’s where I was going to propose. It had been the first place we truly got to talk to each other, where we had made up after our first big fight, where we had our first kiss, where we went after our first date, where he asked me on our first date... Its a spot thats special to us in a way most people wouldn’t get and that’s what made it the perfect spot to propose.

We pulled into the park and I looked towards the swings and smiled. Buffy and Andi had went ahead and put up fairy lights hanging from the swings. I knew they were still here but wasn’t sure where. Andi was here to take pictures and I knew Buffy was with her and possibly one of the boys since it was dark out.

“What the- Why is there lights on the swing set?” TJ questioned

“Just another service they provide” I smiled and TJ gave me a confused look and I laughed, “Andi and Buffy knew I was bringing you here, they must’ve done this.”

“Wow they really weren’t joking when they said they had nothing better to go” TJ laughed as we sat side by side on the swings. We sat in silence for awhile before TJ broke the silence.

“Do you remember the first time we were here? You were singing your swing set song”

“Yeah I still remember it too. Legs go up, legs go down that’s how we make the swing go round. Drag your feet you go slow, the more you drag the less you go..” I paused, a light blush growing across my face, “God I was embarrassing.”

“I thought it was endearing. I asked if you had a song for the slides but I didn’t expect you to actually have one”

“Oh my gosh tell me you don’t remember that” I laughed

“Oh I definitely remember! We go down, We say yay. We don’t climb up thats the wrong way.”

“No o m g stop TJ why do you remember that!?”

“Because it was cute.. God I still remember how nervous you were though I feel bad, you were scared of me”

“That was because I didn’t know you. You can be intimidating you know” I smiled at the memory of that conversation

“I remember.. that moment was so powerful.. I think that was when I had fully accepted I had a crush on you” TJ smiled

“When did you start falling for me?” I asked curiously, a mischievous smile on my face. I had wanted to know the answer for so long but he never told me.

“Remember that night at the basketball game? I wasn’t playing and you went to check on me and I tried to push you away but of course that didn’t work. I think the moment I realized was I was falling was when I said I didn’t want to tell people about my learning disability.. You said its an overused buzzword, there was nothing wrong with me. That was the moment I realized I was screwed, I had fallen for you.” he smiled softly at me and I took his hand

“Well for me, I realized it later.. I had had a crush before but it was different. It was like a hype thing for me. You? I fell for you slowly then all at once..” I paused and TJ let out a soft laugh

“Did you really just quote the fault in our stars?” He nudged me a bright smile on his face.

“Yes now shush so I can finish.” I paused and kissed his nose before continuing. “I think the moment I started to fall was when you apologized to a trashcan to sit with us” I laughed, “But that wasn’t the moment I realized. For me the moment I realized was when you rapped an apology to Buffy”

“Oh God you remember that? Please don’t repeat it” TJ laughed and started swinging a little higher

“I do remember but I won’t sing it because you asked..” I paused its now or never right? “Hey stop swinging babe I want to ask you something”

I watched as TJ slowed his swing to a stop, “Sure whats wrong love?”

I took a deep breath and nodded, “TJ I love you more than anyone in this world, I don’t think I could live without you in my life. It has been 13 years since we met, 11 since we started dating.” I paused kneeling and pulling the box out of my pocket, revealing the ring inside it.

“Cyrus..” TJ whispered, tears in his eyes

“I would be the luckiest guy on the planet if you said yes... Thelonious Jagger Kippen.. Will you marry me?”

“Cyrus I- um-”

“Um? No don’t say um” I stood up in a panic and took his silence as an opportunity to panic. “Um means no, We are going to be like Bex and Bowie. You’re going to say um and then in a few months you’ll ask and I’ll say um and then a few months after we’ll both say yes but then you’ll say no and the-”

I was cut off suddenly as TJ pressed his lips against mine, kissing me until he felt I had relaxed.

“Cyrus the answer is yes, it was always going to be yes” He said, seconds after pulling away

“But you said um... um means no...” I replied, avoiding his eyes.

He lifted my chin with his hand so I was looking at him, “Cyrus I said um because you beat me to the punchline” He smiled softly and I gave him a look of confusion. He reached down and pulled a small red box similar to the one I had dropped on the floor in panic.

“I was going to propose too... at dinner but Buffy and Marty said to wait, I guess they wanted you to beat me”

“They wanted to take pictures, they’re hiding somewhere watching” I laughed pulling him closer to me.

He laughed too, wrapping his arms around my waist, our faces inches away from each other. “So what do you say... Will You Marry me Underdog?”

“Absolutely Teej. Will you marry me?”

“Yes” He replied closing the gap between us, kissing me as he lifted me up and spun. “Yes absolutely yes” He continued happily as he put me down.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, his arms around my waist, mine around his neck, Only to be disturbed by the sound of Andi dropping her camera and not so quietly cursing Jonah for pushing her. We laughed turning to where we had heard our friends. This is what I had to look forward to for the rest of forever, I couldn’t be more thrilled.

---

I was gona be mean and leave it off at TJ saying um and then reblog with the rest but I didn’t. Your welcome lol. This was longer than I meant for it to be but I hope you liked it please reblog thank you love yall!

#andi mack #tyrus

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