#Of it since I liked the w0man and she look like daniel and she was cool now i associate the visual and vibe with something good=her
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#about s1fu#s1fu w0man#She throw the photos kinda aggressively😯(i thought they thrown more carefully😂)#such a bb daniel's moviment/gesture#they/she thrown with a vibe of “tired of this shit or let's do this already”😂#she's so cool❤️#look at this woman💢!!!she is so guyish#I'm still a little bit mad/upset#I like that they do that search/investigation in their bedroom cuz it could be in their main place...#I could totally imagine a version of this being in there but it's not it's on their bedroom#I like that cuz for me this means how much everything ended now they already accomplished the vengeance they are free...#They don't need to look/think/worry about that#I find funny how since in the arenas their bedroom is their office now all the junk/mess goes in there too😂since is the place they seem to.#Stay the most before was the main window now is their bedroom😂💦
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(gasp), that's so mind-blowing!!!, I probably don't enjoy ART and mine art as much cuz i have bad associations with!?, so many bad associations, this probably what it's killing mine passion for art and things, but what do i do to change It? (This probably a mindset developed from years(2020)), I have bad associations with art as a thing, and with my own art!?, what i do? At this point it seems it's too engraved in my brain and body, like a tattoo
#reflection#But good associations do have some power my healing in aspects of Daniel/bb daniel is a example...#Of it since I liked the w0man and she look like daniel and she was cool now i associate the visual and vibe with something good=her#It's a example of this exercise let's say and it's so automatic??? it's kinda weird i still have wounds of this things...#But now my problem is not with daniel as a thing but i still feel and fear the feeling/the way those things made me feel#It reminds me of it#So whenever I feel anxious about something or action I should try to do something positive related to it so i associate with a safe/good...#Thing(but i kinda harsh it can't be anything it really need to be something convicent that I really do feel It and believe it cuz if not...#It won't work)#I just don't know in aspects of my own art doesn't matter how much nice and cool things i draw how much draw made me happy in that moment..#It won't change the emptieness and indiference I feel afterward#Maybe it's a little by little process not a automatic thing like the others#Ugh that look such a cptsd person exercise💦
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