#Sillyhammer 40k

[castellankurze]

"Warmaster, it's worse than we thought. The IV, X, and XVIII Legions have come to an agreement that they're sick of being called in as support elements when other Legions need a hard point broken."

"They've turned on us?!"

"No, milord, they're unionizing."

#Sillyhammer 40k #Horus Heresy

[teknomagic]

¿Do you think space marines know about socks?

#40k #warhammer 40k #sillyhammer 40k

[wolfsoulfulme]

Deathwatch pt. Whatever Purging (Sometimes with Kin)

So... I’m writing this fucking mad as hell. Lets be honest we’ve all been there and yes I’ve been there while playing as Daven. I’ll be the first to admit if I didn’t think they were dumb as hell I’d be a Khorne berserker. 

So once upon a time I remember Daven and four good friends are purging through a tyranid hive ship (I know. I thought It was game over.) Everyones dying and I had been through some stuff recently so I was pretty pissed. Well either Khorne found my blood letting funny or the Emperor was truly shining upon me because after the deaths of all my squad mates and the other ten or so Deathwatch squads aboard the living spacefaring cockroach I tore my way piece by piece through the living sea of chitten to get to the Norn queen and personally rip her head off. I know this is probably the most bullshit story you’ve heard but it’s fuckin true. I broke a chainsword, chain axe, force halberd, onyx glaive (Some special chapter or something), every gun, I shredded my mk8 armor (Went to my iconic as hell mk 4 with wolf helm after this), lost so many relics if the chapters found out they would be on an endless hunt for me. So half armored bleeding from a dozen wounds and after fighting my way through some special hive guards I think I run into this super psychic scream by the queen. I run through that like grevious through that ithorian

Awesome cartoon back in the day btw/ I ripped my two naked hands on her face head butted her then proceeded to GOD OF WAR her head off. So ya. Anger can be a motivator if used right.

I won’t say it’s a bad thing, I think it’s bad to let it rule you. But if you’re mad go for a run, or a workout, get something done thats tedious. Use it. Be above it. Tell Khorne to eat a dick when he offers you godhood to kill your own squad then proceed to cast fist on the next Bloodthirster you see.

Hell go write a short story/guide on a porn loving website just be productive.

BTW working with a friend that writes for Gduubs to help me get a tg codex together for Lost but Unforgotten. He says if it’s good enough he might throw it up and see how it goes. It pays to have good friends.

DAVEN THE LOST LORD OUT!

#Warhammer #Deathwatch #Sillyhammer #sillyhammer 40k #40k #Daven #Lost Lord #Lost but Unforgotten

[agripinaafalls]

A Daemon Prince of the Emperor’s Children charges into battle against Imperial forces (M42, colorized)

#warhammer 40k #thank you mr skeletal #doot doot #sillyhammer

[asklionjonson]

The moment of pain.

“The moment I woke and made to stand was the first time in ten thousand years I had move my body. Reports from all across the Rock claimed they heard a scream and the sound of an auto cannon going off in the distance. Those were my bones and joints responding to movement. It was one of the first times I’ve ever heard the watchers speak louder than a whisper as a resounding ‘ooh’ escaped there… Uh. Shadow mouths. It was without a doubt one of the most painful moments of my life.”

#sillyhammer #40k #dark angels w40k #dark angels #warhammer #primarch

[flunkyofmalcador]

My Yoga AU intro

Santangelo Lupercal (“San” to the world at large) loved Thursday evenings in the summer.  They were when there would be full daylight when he left his job at the Blood Bank and rode his bicycle to the farmer’s market.  There he would buy produce, farm-direct meats, and cheeses.  He would stroll slowly through the market stalls, the flowers, crafts, and art delighting his senses once he had filled his bags with food.

Then he’d load his saddlebags and point his bike towards home, black hair flying under his helmet.  Home was the green two-story Craftsman he and Horace had purchased just before they married, four years earlier.  San dismounted from his bike and lifted both it and the groceries up the four cement steps to the covered front porch.  He locked his bicycle to the railing and took the food inside.

The front door opened onto a living/dining area with a breakfast bar separating it from the kitchen.  City Councillor Horace Lupercal was sitting on one of the barstools at the breakfast bar, reading through papers.  As San walked past, he could see they were proposals for alterations to streets and zoning areas.  These were not things he was interested in, but they were of critical importance to his husband.  Horace had set his sights on becoming mayor at the next election.

“Hello, love,” Horace said as San sorted the groceries into things he was going to cook that evening and things he would cook in the days to come.

San finished, then came around the corner again to kiss Horace.  They lingered for a moment before San pulled back and said, “I found something interesting.  A yoga studio just opened in the old hospital.”

Horace took the flyer that San held out to him.  “I voted for this renovation.  I’ve been interested in seeing what it looks like now that the Castaignes have taken over.”

“This is the first business, and they are running it.  There’s also a café going up, and I don’t know about the other commercial spaces.  The other floors are residential lofts and apartments.”

Horace took a sip from the mug in front of him.  “I can’t believe anyone on City Council would have thought this was anything but good for Haven.  A famous writer buying and renovating that historical old eyesore?  All it’s going to do is bring in business and creative tenants.”

“Is it that old story about the place being haunted?”  San was pulling the metal foil off a bottle of wine.

“That was actually a feature, not a bug.  Arlette Castaigne is a horror novelist.  But yes, a couple of councillors voted against it because they wanted it torn down instead.”

“I wouldn’t call it an eyesore,” San said as he rinsed vegetables in the sink.  “It’s very Gothic and intimidating, but it could be picturesque with the right amount of TLC.  Once they sandblasted the exterior, the stone looked a lot cleaner, and the carvings in the granite really popped.”  He turned to Horace.  “And I know that some of your fellow city councillors just wanted to tear it down to build condos.  At least this way it’s mixed use, with residential spaces and commercial spaces.  It sounds like a good place to build a community.”

Over the next months, the hospital block in Haven filled up.  One old gentleman opened a bookstore.  A woman and her husband started a café that was open almost 24 hours.  There were plans for a community garden in the courtyard.

At the center of all this were the Castaignes themselves.  Arlette Castaigne divided her time between writing in the old chapel on the top floor, which had been converted into their home.  A doctor moved into the mother superior’s old suite, paying top dollar for the stained glass windows in the oratory.  Arlette mostly wrote, although she assisted her husband Emmett with the acro-yoga class.  Emmett was in the yoga studio primarily, accompanied by his wife’s chubby Shina Inu.

It was obvious the old building had a lively spirit to it.

#yoga au #sillyhammer 40k

[castellankurze]

The Emperor gathering Mortarion, Leman Russ, Magnus, Jaghatai, & Sanguinius at the conclusion of Nikaea:

*reading from a paper* first I want you to remember that I love & support you all and I am very proud of you doing your best and talking your differences out in an adult way

*lowering paper* That said you have truly annoyed the living shit out of me

#Sillyhammer 40k #Nikaea

[teknomagic]

I have a new favorite wh40k trope and it's Alpha Legion guys going "What the hell is a Primaris?"

#40k #warhammer 40k #sillyhammer 40k

[castellankurze]

five armored primaris space marines sprinting across the battlefield being chased by an irate veteran chaplain determined to teach these FNGs the value of How To Sword

#Sillyhammer 40k

[castellankurze]

May I please ask how badly you think things would go if some Champion of the World Eaters started calling themselves 'Gorechild' in honour of his Primarch's trademark weapon? (Darkly humorous mental image of Angron picking the fellow up bodily and using them AS a hand weapon ... this might be especially brutal comedy if this happened before The Angry One became a Daemon Primarch; alternatively, it might be more funny yet if 'Gorechild' was Absolutely into this).

It is not widely known, but in truth space marines make excellent bludgeoning weapons thanks to their size, durable ceramite armor, and distribution of weight being concentrated in the upper body due to their heavy backpacks.

Angron, of all primarchs being far and away the most 'I'll smash a motherfucker with another motherfucker' was the leading expert on the topic of Use Of Legionnaires As Weapons No I Mean Literally long before the days of the Heresy.

Corporal Malkus 'the Mace' Gorechild was once questioned on his title, given that his preferred weapon was a chainaxe like most World Eaters. His official response to the Remembrancers was 'don't worry about it.' His unique rank (typically used in the Imperial Army rather than among the Astartes) was said to stem from one of the rare observations by Roboute Guilliman that Angron found actually funny.

#Sillyhammer 40k #Horus Heresy #World Eaters #Angron #Malkus Gorechild #asked and answered

[castellankurze]

Thank You very much for your Leman Russ/the Leman Russ vignette: further mental image of Primarch Guilliman, rather impressed the design has lasted 10 millennia, briefly channeling Primarch Russ (“That’ll do tank, that’ll do” PAT PAT).

Meanwhile in the warp, one day Magnus the Red appears where his brother is held prisoner lashed to the World Tree and, with mighty steel hawsers, binds an entire tank to the great trunk beside him.

"It's won more battles than you, I thought it deserved the honor," he says before leaving.

#Sillyhammer 40k #Leman Russ #(the primarch) #Leman Russ (tank) #Magnus the Red #asked and answered

[teknomagic]

Incorrect quotes from the Alpha legion

"The fuck are those"

"Oh I think those are marines primaris, they're new"

"And you knew? When were you planning to tell us?"

"¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

"shigh"

#Shroud of Night #Andy Clark #40k #warhammer 40k #sillyhammer 40k #Alpha Legion #I don't like Chaos as a faction BUT if I did

[teknomagic]

I've been buying 40k minis for vibes only and I just realized that I could build my own saturday morning cartoon show about aeldari corsairs vs. necrons with what I have.

#40k #warhammer 40k #sillyhammer 40k

[teknomagic]

Shower thought: the primarchs are so popular because they are a group with well defined personalities and interactions.

We need more of those (groups, not primarchs)

#40k #warhammer 40k #sillyhammer 40k

[castellankurze]

you know who you are

#Warhammer 40k #Sillyhammer 40k #Ultramarines

[castellankurze]

Let me guess, Corporal Gorechild's OTHER nickname was "Corporal Punishment"? (At this point I'm beginning to wonder if, when his Legion turned Traitor, he was executed not for loyalty to the Emperor but due to a pronounced inclination to Slaanesh!). (-;

You have a good handle on Guilliman's sense of humor. (It's puns, his sense of humor is mostly puns.)

Post-Heresy, Malkus Gorechild went missing during the infighting on Skalathrax and was believed to be one of the Legion members struck down during Kharn's night of infamy. However in the years afterwards a fight between warbands of the Black Legion and World Eaters ended with the latter capturing a mace with that same name etched into the haft. Topped by what appears to be a massive and jagged chunk of onyx, the weapon is the size of a thunder hammer and hits with the same force, erupting with daemonic energy every time it lands a blow.

Over the past 10,000 years Malkus has served many a warband, frequently noted as trembling in the user's grip in anticipation of combat. Captured by the Grey Knights at one point, the daemon weapon was sealed in a warded sarcophagus for transport to Titan, only to somehow smash its way out with a will of its own and vanish from the strike cruiser upon which it was held.

Despite pulverizing the skulls that its patron god would claim, Khorne is said to regard the mace with some amount of approval, as even a skull throne needs mortar.

#Sillyhammer 40k #World Eaters #Malkus Gorechild #asked and answered