#THIS IS MY NEW EMOTIONAL SUPPORT JIMINNIE

[amora-recs]

pinky promise┊park jimin

des: “let’s make a promise. a pinky promise.”

word count: 3.8k

a/n: listen y’all: this wasn’t supposed to be over 500 words, but i got really invested in it,, so here you go,,, enjoy.

“Would you please stay still?" you whined to Jimin, who couldn't help but laugh even more as he kept twirling around. "I need you to not move for just a few minutes, is that so hard to do?" a groan escaped your lips as you continued to complain to your best friend.

 Jimin didn't answer, instead preferring to hum along with the almost silent melody playing. Although you would have adored seeing Jimin dance, going through endless hours of supplementary classes with Mrs Choi wasn’t on your to-do list. Shivers immediately overtook you just thinking about it.

“Look, we can play ballerinas later,” you tried to explain after gently placing your camera down, standing up more than ready to give Jimin a piece of your mind, “just a few poses and we’re done!”

“What if I want to play ballerinas now?” you would have loved nothing more than to rip that pretty smile of his off his face, but your portfolio was in dire need of him. “Plus, wouldn’t a photo in motion be better?” he asked, walking right behind you as you picked up your beloved camera. His smile died the moment you turned around, a glare plastered on your face. “Y’know, if you keep glaring like that you’ll get wrinkles.”

“Jimin, I swear to God –”

“Fine, fine,” he gave up, finally sitting down on the stool you prepared for him. Things were thankfully pretty silent except for a few giggles here and there. And after fifteen minutes, just like you said, you were done. Despite being tiring, you loved taking photos of Jimin. You loved doing it so much you were sure you would have filled up your portfolio with photos of Jimin alone by now. And who could blame you? From head to toe, he was stunning.

 As much as you loved photography, dealing with deadlines, professors and life in general were more than you could handle. A long sigh could be heard as you slowly packed up the few pieces of equipment you brought, not ready for the upcoming all-nighter. Fortunately, Jimin promised he would keep you company since he was keen on supporting his best friend and had nothing better to do. Just as you were about to pick up your bag, something caught your attention. It was a piece of paper, a letter to be exact. It was just an ordinary letter, you thought before you caught a glimpse at the words “Park Jimin” and “Congratulations” together in the same sentence.

“Have you seen my…” words got caught in his throat as shock took over his features.

“You’re going to AVA?!” a rosy blush painted Jimin’s cheeks, bashfully scratching the back of his head. Despite the jumble of emotions you were going through all at once, you hurriedly hugged him, crumbling the letter you were still holding in the process. You knew you should have felt happy for Jimin, it was one of his biggest dreams after all, but you couldn’t help your poor heart as it slowly broke into pieces. “How did this happen?”

“I have been apparently invited thanks to an old teacher’s recommendation, and I’ll be going as his protégé,” he whispered, hugging you tight against his chest, ”but I wasn’t really planning on going.“ Jimin continued with a sad smile.

 Your eyes became the size of golf balls as you stared at him in disbelief. What was that supposed to mean? In the past four years you’ve known Jimin, going there was his greatest wish. So why wouldn’t he go? “Are you stupid? How can you possibly say that?!” you questioned as you kept hitting his chest. “This is your biggest chance! Don’t throw it away like that!” it was true. The academy was renowned for its worldwide known artists, especially choreographers. If anyone deserved to be known, it was definitely Jimin. You loved teasing him, calling him a ballerina and so on, but all in all, you knew he was talented. And such talents deserved to be known.

“I know, it’s just that I don’t want to go to France –”

“If you’re thinking about not leaving because of me,” you interrupted him, taking hold of one of his hands as you led him out the studio. You knew him all too well. Jimin was a sweetheart through and through. Of course he wouldn’t want to leave you. And judging from the way his expression changed, you were more than sure you were right, “you have nothing to worry about! How long you’ll be staying, anyway?”

“One year.”

 Exhaustion took over your body the moment you touched your bed. Your conversation with Jimin ended shortly after, leaving you puzzled and overwhelmed. The sleepover became long forgotten as you both parted ways the first chance you had. It was an uncomfortable subject for both you and Jimin to talk about. Thousands of thoughts were running through your mind, a small ball of anxiety slowly but surely building up. Jimin was going to leave, there was no denying in that. It was an opportunity he couldn’t just turn down for some flimsy photographer. You knew he’d be amazing. You knew he’d be a star. 

    A sudden need to procrastinate struck you, Mrs Choi being one of your least worries at the time, but knowing you wouldn’t be able to hear the end of it, you stood up, grabbing your laptop from the nightstand and your camera, not ready to dive into the wonderful world of editing. It wasn’t anything too interesting. At first at least.

 As you were selecting the photos, you came across a few oddballs. You smiled, looking through the pictures of your first year in college with Jimin. Not many things have changed since then. You were still you, and Jimin was still Jimin. You were still here, and Jimin was still here. For now, at least. He will be leaving for France who knows when. You were too shocked to even ask. And he’ll be gone a year. A whole year. It was heartbreaking and amazing at the same time. You knew he won’t forget you, he’ll come back and that you’ll finally be able to confess. Or so you’d like to think. Your buzzing phone made you realise you were crying and that you got a new message from Jimin.

jiminnie: are you ok? [10:50 pm]

 As you kept wiping your tears away, you thought about a good way to answer him. You didn’t want to worry him any more.

you: yeah wdym? [10:52 pm]

jiminnie: well, it’s a lot to take in all at once [10:52 pm]

jiminnie: i’m sorry. i was waiting for the right moment to tell you. [10:53 pm]

 Of course, he would. Waiting for the right moment to tell you he wasn’t going.

you: don’t worry, i get it. it’s not something you can just casually drop in a conversation. [10:53 pm]

jiminnie: yeah… [10:53 pm]

jiminnie: anyway, wanna go on a date tomorrow? :D [11:09 pm]

 The moment the word ‘date’ popped up on your screen, you snorted. Park Jimin, your best friend and your secret crush, was asking you on a date? Tomorrow? It wasn’t unusual for Jimin to act like the dearest peach there was, and going on little dates like this was his way of showing how much he loved spending time with you. You couldn’t help but beam at your screen as you typed your answer.

you: that would be lovely. [11:10 pm]

jiminnie: great! pick you up at 4? [11:10 pm]

you: of course!! <3 [11:11 pm]

 Just like he said, he was by your doorstep at four, ready to pick you up and take on your date. Or so-called adventure, as he liked to name it. Jimin made your destination unknown to you, talking about things such as the element of surprise. It was only when your walk came to an end that you realised what Jimin meant when he called it an ‘adventure’. It brought a smile to Jimin’s face to see your hilarious expression.

“We’re going to Lotte World?” you asked, letting out a breathy chuckle. Of course, he would bring you to Lotte World. He loved going to the aquarium, especially with you. Although most of the time crammed, Jimin loved walking around the aquarium, having meaningful conversations along the way. Since going to Busan every time he felt down was too much of a hassle, visiting the pretty sea creatures was the closest thing to home. It was as if the water soothe all his worries. So it came as no surprise that he would bring you here in one of the most stressful times of his life.

 You loved walking around with Jimin. Just like the water soothed Jimin, his presence alone soothed you. Words weren’t needed as you both walked in silence. It always started like this. You would be wandering for a few minutes, without uttering a single word, until you’d find the jellyfish tank and talk there. You found it funny how every time you’d take a different route as if that would change the end result. This time was no exception. In the end, you still found yourself admiring Jimin’s contagious smile as he awed in wonder at the numerous jellyfish in front of him.

“So,” you started, feeling the urge to look down, eyeing your still intertwined hands. Another thing you absolutely adored about him. He loved physical contact. It wasn’t anything perverted, he just enjoyed showing his appreciation through gentle touches such as this one, “is there something you want to talk about?”

“Not really.” he didn’t turn around, still mesmerized by the marine creatures, casting thousands of deep violet and azure shadows across his face.

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“No…” he turned around to look at you. “Well, maybe. But I have a good reason why I didn’t bring it up.”

“And I would love to hear why.”

 For a moment, he let go of your hand, feeling himself getting nervous. His safe place didn’t seem so safe all of a sudden. “Because I don’t want to upset you.” his answer made you roll your eyes, already able to fathom what he was about to say.

“I’m a big girl, Jimin. I’m sure I can handle it.”

 He took a deep breath as if preparing to go on stage, his smile ready to falter any moment. “You see,” he started, but then stopped, preparing himself for what was about to come, “I don’t really want to leave you –”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” you said, walking towards him as he took a few steps back away from you. The moment you were facing each other you took hold of his shoulders, staring deep into his brown sorry eyes, “I don’t know how many times I’ll have to tell you this, but I’ll say it a million times if I need to. I am going to be fine.”

“I know, it’s just that I can’t help but feel all fidgety about this,” he replied, displaying one of his rare bitter looks. “Can’t you just come with me?” Jimin continued with a mutter, laughing to himself shortly after.

“You know I can’t.” you mimicked the same hurt smile, loosening your grip on his shoulders. “But it shouldn’t matter. Because this is it, Jimin. This is your big chance.” you started whispering, trying your hardest to ignore the few passersby who kept staring at you two.

 Just before Jimin was about to say something, you were so rudely interrupted by his phone. His expression only worsened as he kept staring at his phone screen. “It’s work. I have to go.” he sighed, allowing one of his hands to messily roam through his hair. “I promise we’ll continue talking later,” he said before engulfing you in a bear hug. You used to think Jimin’s hugs were the best. They were so warm, so full of love. But this one was different. It was so sad. It made you want to cry.

 After that day, you never got to talk later. Of course, you saw Jimin almost every day, going on little dates in the park, even at a concert, but as his leave grew closer and closer, he kept trying to avoid the subject, to dodge any questions. And that day, at the dance studio, was no exception. Although a bit childish, Jimin has always been camera-shy. The occasions in which Jimin would ask you to take photos of him were rare. So him asking you to take a video of him out of nowhere surprised you to say the least. It was quiet except for the mellow music playing. It became background noise as your eyes were focused on Jimin. He was really something else while dancing. His every move made you gasp in awe, every little glance he threw your way making your heart flutter in the best way possible. It made you so happy to see him dance again, even if it constantly reminded you that he’d have to leave you soon. It made you feel horrible for even wishing he’d stay here instead.

“I know my dancing is good, but I never knew it is good enough to make you cry.” Jimin panted out, wiping away the few tears from the corner of your eye. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, of course,” you answered letting out a sniff. You felt like a baby for crying in front of him. He didn’t need to deal with any other nuisances. “Just a little tired, I guess.”

“So you start crying whenever you’re tired?” his question made you both laugh, as he took hold of your hands. “How about we take a break?” as if it was already planned, the music was smoother, entrancing you into a gentle atmosphere that surrounded you and Jimin as he dragged you from behind the camera.

“We’ll take a break later.”

“You don’t sound very convincing.”

“Jimin, I need a few more takes.”

“We have enough.” he shushed, twirling you around as you tried to escape his enchanting gaze. “Just five minutes.” he brought you close to his chest, pulling you into his little jig. “Just dance with me for five minutes.”

 Although reluctant, you wordlessly agreed, leaning your head against his chest as you hummed along with Jimin’s heartbeat. It felt warm, leaving you wanting more of these moments. It was easy to tell Jimin was enjoying himself as well.

“Is this why you wanted me to film you?” he chuckled, the vibration resonating through his chest.

“Not really. As shocking as it might sound, I actually need the video.”

“What for?”

“For y’know… AVA.”

“Weren’t you already recognized as eligible for the program?” his words caught your attention, bothering you in the process.

“It’s more of a reference thing, I’m not really sure.” he sighed but spun you around nonetheless. “They suddenly emailed me this morning, telling me I should submit a video before I leave.”

 This rose more than a few burning questions. When was he leaving? Was he actually going to leave? If so, was he ready? It intrigued you to no end. Your face might have made it obvious.

“I’m leaving the day after tomorrow if that’s what you’re wondering.” his answer made you audibly gasp, slightly pushing Jimin away. He was leaving the day after tomorrow?! And he didn’t bother to tell you up until now?!

“I hope you’re not planning on bailing at the last second.”

“Is that how you really think of me? Of course not! This is my big chance, after all.” and with his sigh, your song came to an end, leaving both you in a more than awkward silence.

 It ended just like a month ago. Your discussion with Jimin fell short, leaving you miserable and bothered on your way home. It felt horribly repetitive. Like you were stuck in some soap opera. It became even worse as you looked through the footage of your little break with Jimin. Even though it lasted only a few minutes, it was so pretty and so fun. It was nice. There were so many things to do, to talk about, to sort out, but you couldn’t even get up. All you did was watch the five minutes clip over and over again, wishing it was just a tiny bit longer.

 The next day wasn’t any better. Nostalgia took over your body as you started crying. You’ll miss Jimin so damn much, it wasn’t even funny anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to wake up, to eat, to answer your phone, to do anything. You felt so disappointed in yourself. Yet you did nothing, looking at the clean white walls of your bedroom for what seemed like endless hours as if your body shut down. And you couldn’t understand why. It was such a useless thing to do. And you hated that. It was around midnight when you started watching the little clip again, more than ready to be you again. You did somehow manage to finish the supposed ‘reference’ video earlier that day and send it to Jimin, meaning you had all the time in the world to finish your little surprise.

 By the time you were done, you collapsed the moment your head made contact with your pillow. Unfortunately, your very few hours of peace were stalled by your alarm. An awfully hoarse groan left your lips the moment you looked at your phone screen, realising after mere seconds that you had only a few hours left before Jimin’s departure. As if your body was on auto-pilot, you stood up, rummaging through your apartment desperate to catch up with Jimin. Your houses were relatively close to one another, taking you around a ten minutes run to finally reach his flat. You could feel your knees buckle as you panted your heart out. You promised yourself you won’t take the stairs for the next few years after the atrocity that just occurred. Weakly, you rang the bell, praying with heavy breaths that Jimin hasn’t left yet. As soon as the door opened, you straightened up, making eye contact with a more than not ready Jimin.

“Why are you shirtless?”

“Because I just woke up.” he murmured in a hoarse voice, supporting his point along with the massive bed head going on at the time.

“Well, what are you doing? Come on, you have to get ready!” you huffed, dragging him inside as Jimin constantly tried to slow you down. “What about your baggage?”

“It’s not done.”

“What do you mean ‘it’s not done’?!”

“It’s not done because I’m obviously not going.” you let go of his hand, turning around to look at him. After all the crying and all those talks, he still wasn’t planning on going? For the second time in your life, you could hear your heart breaking. It felt awful. You felt awful.

 With a long sigh, you took hold of his hand again, this time slowly softening your grip as you guided him towards the living room. You felt the sudden need to sit down with Jimin. “Is there something wrong, Jimin?” you’ve asked him this question many times before, but this time, it felt different. You weren’t angry, your voice was soft as silk, luring him in. It was Jimin who tightened his grip on your hand as he kept looking down, disappointment splattered across all over his face. “Why don’t you want to leave?” he was at a loss of words. He couldn’t answer you. Or at least he didn’t want to. He could tell he hurt you, and so hesitation became a constant sentiment in Jimin’s heart. It struck you as odd to see him this closed off. Usually, he would open up immediately about what’s bothering him, brushing it off with a sweet smile shortly after. It worried you to no end to be face to face with this Jimin. As time continued to go by, Jimin continued to say nothing. It was as if he was collecting his thoughts, thinking about what to say.

“I’m just scared,” Jimin finally whispered, afraid to accept what he felt, “I’m scared I’m gonna mess everything up.” he continued as he kept tracing your knuckles, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat. “Plus you can’t come with me, so I’ll basically be alone. And you know how much my French sucks!”

“You’re such an idiot sometimes, you know that?” you giggled, finally giving him the USB stick you were holding. “We can always video call and text each other! So whenever you’re sad, just know that I’m one call away.”

“It’s not the same thing…” he kept whining, inspecting the little stick you just gave him.

“With that attitude, it sure isn’t.” he laughed at your reply, sitting just the tiniest bit closer to you. “And as I said before, you’ll do great Jimin. And I know how much you’ve wanted this…” you said drowsily, the lack of sleep slowly getting to you. After that, none of you continued your conversation. You tried your hardest to convince Jimin why he should leave. It was up to him whether or not he would go, you just wanted to make sure you weren’t the one holding him back.

 You couldn’t remember when, but Jimin got up. In what seemed like a few minutes because of your nap, he was ready. You didn’t know what to do. Should you cry? Should you laugh? It all felt so surreal! The next you knew, you were at the airport, walking along Jimin, looking for the airline desk. You still couldn’t believe what was about to happen. Jimin was about to be gone. For a whole year. It hurt just to even think about it. But you knew it was the best thing that could happen to Jimin, so you smiled. You smiled as he came back, all ready to go through security and board the plane. All ready to leave you. You smiled as he tightly hugged you, his scent, his presence immediately invading every part of your being.

“I’m gonna miss your hugs so much,” you mumbled, afraid to ruin your moment, feeling tears run down your face.

“I’ll miss you too,” he chuckled, clearing away your tears as always, to which you hugged him tighter, “you really should stop crying. Who knows, I might change my mind.”

“Don’t even joke about that!” you whimpered, pinching his arm.

“Then here,” he said holding out his pinky finger. “Let’s make a promise.” 

“a pinky promise?” you snorted but intertwined your finger nonetheless, feeling your heart flutter at his little grin. 

“Promise me you’ll stop crying.”

“Then you’ll have to promise to come back!” you squealed a little too excitedly, making Jimin’s smile grow.

“I promise,” he said, pecking your lips before going, ready to pass through security, leaving you breathless.

 You’ll really miss Jimin, your soon-to-be boyfriend.

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