#Tries harder to be kinder. Nicer. Always forgive and not be as rude.

[birdcagcd]

I'm thinking very hard about sonadow

#ooc. you crave the applause; yet hate the attention. #It's such. A concept with my sonic #Like he doesn't traditionally feel love. But he cares. But also it feels so hard to #But also shadow being part of the reason why he tries harder. #Tries harder to be kinder. Nicer. Always forgive and not be as rude. #Because it's important to him. He tries to be a kind person. For shadow #It feels so weird he doesn't understand the love he feels because it's such a foreign concept to him. #And sometimes he even doubts he even loves him. But he's so. He knows he does. #I'm just. Man I need someone who I can explore this with I'm so. They

[alexandersimpleton]

This song fits Frederick really well I think. Like, at first when he was getting close to Gwen, he just felt like being himself around her. His blunt, rude, dorky true self. He treated her kindly because he wanted her to be happy, his original motive for doing most things before he met Them. His unmasking of himself bled into the rest of his behavior too, and he became nicer all around, if still sassy and temperamental. He was happy with himself.

And then he met the CPC. They didn't like him for who he was, they liked him for who he was now. They told him, to his face, that they hated his judgmental side, that they hated his sassy side. They went on and on about how he wasn't "like that" anymore. And Frederick started doubting. He looked at his brothers, who were now treating him kindly and had nearly completely stopped beating him, and realized that change aligned with his change in personality. The CPC wouldn't hurt him, maybe even treat him like he was normal, if he was just kind and forgiving like they wanted him to be. And so, like his kind side had before to keep himself safe, his "bratty" side went into hiding.

Except this time it actually worked. His brothers treated him kinder, and they included him in their conversations and actually loved him because now he was worthy of their love. He still slipped up around Gwen (she was just so comforting and accepting), but she still loved him somehow. Eventually he grew to hate that other side to him. The part of him that wanted to make cruel remarks whenever he disagreed with someone. That bratty part that demanded things that he didn't deserve.

And then the gala happened. That bratty, cruel, spoiled part of his soul that he hated had hurt her. He had HURT HER. And then Blaine called him a loser and left him to the rats. Because he wasn't good enough. Frederick had thought that he was hopeless. A worthless loser that realized much to late how important it was to repress himself.

And he ended up getting the talk from "Laverne" and realizing he was in charge of his own life. He escaped the prison and locked that horrid, disgusting side of himself deep down where nobody would find it.

His smile was fake. In truth he hated doing this. He felt like he deserved for people to treat him like a person. He felt like he wanted to just be him without judgment. But nobody would ever see that grotesque hatred behind his loving, neon green eyes that shined with a neon green like that you'd find on a plastic children's toy, manufactured to be as appealing as possible. After all, he was Frederick! He didn't deserve such luxuries

When he made it to the CPC, despite how he tried, his other side still leaked out. He tried to tell them. He hoped they'd do what they always did. He hoped they'd comfort him, tell him he was wrong and hug him like they did Gwen. But they only told him the truth. That he was the problem. Blaine hadn't done anything wrong. Blaine was right.

And Frederick didn't slip up again. It didn't matter how the thought of what Blaine had said made his tongue burn with bile. It didn't matter how his reflection refused to show his face through the rip like that in a page. It didn't matter how the world seemed so much greyer than it has with Gwen. Frederick had already climbed out of his hole. And now he was doing something harder

Frederick was climbing a mountain now, and at the top was the love he wanted. And so he climbed higher.

And higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and

#cursed princess club #also Blaine I guess #but Blaine is recovering #and I wanted angst #plus Freddy is my blorbo #so #Youtube