#UUUGGHH this is such poetical bullshit

[476b]

i need to stop going after emotionally unavailable men. and emotionally unavailable men need to stop being hot.

#i should end this thing i have now while i can but then i'd be truely alone in this new city again and i just cant handle that right now #scraps is better than starving #but they just make you hungrier in the long run #i should clean my apartment and eat lunch and good dinner but i just feel so apatheticly bad about it #i have no energy and no purpose right now #i feel like im sitting at the bottom of a deep well #UUUGGHH this is such poetical bullshit #it's the same fucking pit i worked my way out of when i first moved and ill do it again but it just sucks so fucking bad #at least the ghost of a relationship is something #at least seeing someone for a few hours every week or two is something #even as its gone from every other day to every other week #and he doesn't ask to see me and he doesnt take me out and he doesn't really touch me anymore #i'm so fucking pathetic i don't know why i expected anything different #i just wish he hadnt been so nice to me in the beginning then maybe this wouldn't sting so much