#Your blog is a gem and I stan the simpening for these two

[assortedvillainvault]

hi angel! I was wondering if you would be willing to write headcanons for being in a poly relationship with Hades and Captain Hook? They're my favourite boys 👉👈

Heya Bee!! So So sorry for the wait, I've been operating on 5% battery at 100mph in real life for a bit, but better late than never for the best Hook & Hades simp on tumblr. Hope you like these!

Poly!Hades & Captain Hook x Reader Headcannons:

I can't help but imagine getting together with these two would have been...a rocky start to put it lightly.

Both have insecurities that the other unintentionally (and intentionally, once they figure out which buttons to press) set off on the regular. Death and ageing is Hooks number one fear, usually represented by TickTok's clock, and facing off against the Lord of the Dead who can't be killed is not helping his anxiety levels. Hook Despises feeling powerless and is going to be on the lookout for any way to get a leg up on Hades in a pinch.

Unfortunately the presence of yourself being woo'ed by said God scrambles ALL the Captains brancells into hyper-intense, competitive mode and self preservation is now soley in the hands of a long suffering Smee.

Hades, on the other hand, is low key extremely self conscious of the fact he's not conventionally attractive by any means (I HC the underworld affected his physical appearance after being down there so long) so for a pretty, chivalrous, dashing captain to be making moves on you is doing NOTHING for his self image issues and he's getting snappy.

In terms of what they can offer both are jealous of eachothers domains: Hook can't possibly compete with the prospect of you becoming co-ruler of literally everything under the earth and Hades is terrified that you'll be swayed to sunny, pleasant, private-island Neverland at a moments notice and leave him in the dark.

Once you finally get sick of their background bullshit (both keep a facade up when they think you're watching) and lay out the prospect of dating BOTH, things take a dramatic shift.

Neither had considered the prospect, and were unsure of where the lines were, so clear boundaries had to be laid down. You supervised the writing of that particular contrcat becuase Hades couldn't be trusted not to rig it in his favour.

They're still competitive, but with the threat of you leaving now removed they're much more low key about it.

jfgdfjbbgf reader you're going to want for nothing.

Between Hades' position as God of Weath and Hook's pirate nose for treasure and willingness to commit A LOT of crimes to get it - you barely have to breathe the sentance 'I wish I had-' before they're both innundating you with the gift in question.

They're both charming, and that charm is now amped to 11. Self conciousness and doubts about yourself are now BANNED

After a while they start to coordinate date nights together instead of just seperately. You still have your alone time with them absolutely, but candlit nights on the beaches of islands hidden around Greece, orchestrated by Hook's legendary navigating ability, are becoming more and more common.

It eases Hades nerves that you can be safe, looked after and entertained when the underworld keeps him busy. It eases Hook's mind that you can leave and come back practically whenever, since Neverland is Undying it can technically be accessed via the Styx, so if needed he can always sail up and ask.

Godly backup is also appreciated on occasion. A convenient escape isalnd is very appreciated on occasion that a scheme goes awry. You just love seeing your boys get along.

If you decide to wear something risque and...initiate a chase as it were - these two are going to devolve stright back to children in an attempt to get to you first.

That neither die or get legitimately upset anymore - but a tally count is still being kept religiously - puts you right at ease even as you blow a kiss and laugh as Hook runs straight into a doorframe hidden by Hades chiton.

#thalassa responds #thanks so much for the ask #so so sorry this took so long but GOD I enjoyed writing this!! #Your blog is a gem and I stan the simpening for these two #disney villains #disney villains x reader #disney hades #disney captain hook #x reader #poly asks are great I should write more villain poly