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#again. i gotta do a lot more research on how underground systems work to better understand them
miiukkaa · 8 months
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You're probably tired of people asking about the new lair, but where do you think the other entrance into the lair is? The one we see toward the beginning of the movie and where Sister Krang comes in
not at all tired when it comes to the lair, no worries!
though, i haven't done nearly enough research as to how many different entrances a subway would have - both civil and maintenance. PLUS there's the sewer connection that you see in the movie, yes! i don't believe the precise location of the sewer door thing was ever shown in the final cut/storyboards? (as far as i know anyway! i could be wrong)
anyway, yea there are a lot of possible entries:
1) sewer entrance as seen in the movie
2) following the tracks / the path the escape pods took (latter takes you to donnie's lab)
3) stairs to the surface (the stairs that would have directly lead to the lair are most likely not in use for safety reasons. you'd instead have to use another station's stairs to enter the underground and then from there make their way to the lair)
4) garage / whatever path they take when going out with the turtle tank
though, i'm starting to think if part of their lair is still in the sewers. like if the garage for example was located within the sewer tunnels instead of an underground station... who knows!!
i apologize, i don't think i really answered your question much but i do hope this helps a little bit!
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re-diesirae · 3 years
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14. Leon
He'd never liked old-fashioned houses, and this one certainly made him uncomfortable. He checked each room with his gun raised, but nothing human or non-human seemed to lurk in the corridors of the place. He did notice the signs of struggle, and despite the absence of corpses, he could tell that the inhabitants of the manor were most likely dead. As they walked, he noticed how Claire rumbled curiously through the papers that laid scattered over the place. She seemed to have caught interest in a file she had found lying on a desk. He had never taken Claire for a bookworm, but she certainly was.
He knew Claire was a smart woman and a good fighter, too; but her inclination had always been to the brain side rather than muscle, the reason why she'd chosen her current job rather than following her brother's steps. Claire went to college and graduated a little after the incidents of Raccoon. He knew that. She had mentioned once in a phone call, but their conversations rarely focused on mundane things.
It's easy to forget conventional questions if each time we bump into each other, it seems like the world is about to end.
When Claire told him that she had graduated from biology and taken a virology specialty, he couldn't help but see the irony in there. However, he did notice Claire's enthusiasm as she explained her reasons and, somehow, he thought it suited her. She was someone born to help the world, after all. Now, with the possibility of a new virus, he could understand why she was so interested in finding out what sort of research had been taking place there.
He, too, wanted to know. If there were any potential threats out there, he'd do anything to prevent it. He'd never allow a third tragedy after Raccoon and Tall Oaks if he could help it; but, for the time being, his main objective would be dismantling whatever thing was jamming his signal. He wanted to contact Hunnigan as soon as possible.
When they reached the tower, he'd immediately started to work on the antenna. He noticed that Claire paced around the room until she finally settled in front of one of the computers and began typing into it.
Smart and lethal. Guess I see why men would feel intimidated if they could pass the first filter. He thought and chuckled at the image of threatening Chris scaring off any of his sister's potential love interests. A sudden thought crossed his mind. How would Chris have reacted if he had tried to court Claire?
The thought made him grin, and in the middle of his thoughts, his mobile made a soft beeping sound, letting him know the signal was back. Now he just needed to get a hold of Hunningan.
"I think I got it."I have the signal back. I'll try to contact Hunningan."
"That's great news…!"
"What about you? Did you find anything?"
"No, and yes. I managed to hack into the security system, but the servers aren't linked, so I have no access to research data from here. I did get a nice blueprint of the facility, though. Just look at this, the main research area is right underneath us, which is not surprising at all. I also checked the security protocols, and from that, I can say they were doing in vivo assays, and I found something alarming and unexpected."
"How come?"
"They have a viral repository in here. It is curious because, with the T-virus, C-virus, and all those new strains that Umbrella had been spreading, most bioterrorists had dropped the use of traditional pathogenic weapons."
"By traditional you mean…?"
"Regular viral agents: influenza, Nipah Virus, chickenpox, ebola… Ring a bell? They have a bacteria stock, too; Anthrax, Tuberculosis, MRSA," she said, scrolling down the screen, " Basically Level 3 and 4 pathogens. Just what the hell were they doing here?"
" If you don't know, neither do I. Can you get the information from here?"
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a virologist, not a hacker. The information should have a back up in the central server, but I am not skilled enough to break through their encryption to get it. We would need a vicious hacker for that, and the only one I know is somewhere in Hughesville."
"So, in other words, if we want that data, we'll need to go down there."
"Very sharp, Kennedy."
"Well, I guess we should bring some company down there," Leon commented,pulling his mobile to his ear. "Hunnigan… I need a favor."
"Thank goodness. It's so good to hear from you, Leon."
"Yeah, something was interfering with my signal, but I took care of it. Hunnigan, can you patch me up with Chris Redfield from B.S.A.A?"
" Of course. His team was supposed to head your way to help you, but they got delayed by a sudden bioterrorist attack. Just give me a moment…"
Leon waited in the line for a moment. He saw Claire's questioning look, and he replied with a small wave of his hand. Suddenly, there was a soft ecstatic sound, and Chris's agitated grumbles resounded in his ear.
"Leon?"
"Chris, good to know that B.O.W didn't kill you."
"As if. I am glad to hear from you. Is Claire there?"
Straight to the point, as usual.
Leon turned to Claire and had to drown a laugh when he saw the woman roll her eyes and mutter something that sounded like: overprotective and old enough.
"Yeah, she's with me. She's a little beaten up, but overall she's fine, and she doesn't seem to enjoy your overprotectiveness..."
"Tell her I'm her brother, and I am in the right to do so." Chris grumbled, "Leon, we're heading your way, but the trip will take some time. We have to cross the continent to reach you.".
Cross the continent, so they were somewhere in Europe.
"Yeah, I guess that shouldn't be a problem. I think we are in a safe place until dawn," Leon said, looking around the tower. The walls had reinforced metal, and the door was lockable from the inside, so it was mostly safe.
"Dawn? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Long story short. There's a high chance of a new virus development in this place. The new B.O.W.s are tough and very violent, but the movement seems restricted to nighttime. I'll explain in more detail when you get here. Claire believes there might be important information in this facility. However, the information seems to be in the underground research center, which, in my experience, must be filled with more B.O.W.s. I don't think Claire and I can handle them on our own."
"Of course, you don't! Don't you even dare to go down there until we arrive, understood? If those things are as bad as you say, make sure to stay in a safe place."
"I know, don't worry. "
"We'll talk soon, then. I gotta go."
"All right. Do you want me to hug Claire for you?"
"Don't dare, Kennedy. Keep those charms off from my sister..."
"I'll try..."
Leon cut off the call before Chris could say something about the last statement and snorted. He had to admit it was fun to tease him. He turned to Claire, and she shrugged, but he saw the small smile on her lips.
"I already locked the door, also…" She said as she began typing on the computer again, and Leon noticed that one of the screens was now showing security cameras images of the house. " I activated the CCTV and the security system around the main house and the corridors surrounding this tower area. If our dear nocturne friend decides to pay a visit, he'll have a nice welcoming party."
And there it was again. Claire Redfield would never cease to amaze him.
"Thought you said you weren't a hacker."
"I am not, but I might have learned a trick or two when it comes to security systems. I did save your butt back then in Willpharma research center, remember?"
"Another of many other things I owe you."
"I dragged you down to this mess. I guess you can consider most of it paid," Claire sighed, " Considering that I will drag you all down into another one soon."
Claire's look traveled to the 3D blueprint that was glowing on the screen. He noticed how she bit her lower lip with a worried frown as she traced her finger around the different rooms.
"If it can prevent another outbreak, I'll gladly follow you to hell, Claire, and so would Chris or any of your friends."
"I know...it's just, what if the information isn't worthy?"
"If there's something I've come to learn with my years of services is that no information is ever worthless. It might not be useful at first, but sooner or later, it becomes relevant. Believe me, Claire, finding out what this place was for is necessary."
Claire let out a tortured sigh and returned to the computer. He could see her shoulder tensed up as she muttered something to herself.
"So...virology, huh? Sounds a little, ehm…"
"Go ahead and say it, but it isn't as boring as most people would think. I've come to understand a lot of things about B.O.W's, and... I've always been the family's nerd." she added the last part with a playful wink, "Besides, it's helped a lot with TerraSave's work."
"You're truly devoted to that organization."
"I don't think I am devoted to TerraSave. I am devoted to the people in need. TerraSave is….it's just a means to reach them."
"I doubt you studied all that just to sit behind that desk."
"I used to be more into fieldwork, and of course, I still prefer that, but I've been more indoors the past few months."
"Not only signing papers, but I am also sure. "
"Right, maybe someday I'll tell you."
"Can't tell me now?"
"I could, but where's the fun in that?"
Leon frowned but ended up cracking a smile. He saw her browse into a long list on the screen; most elements were written in code using numbers and letters in combination with a different color; he had no idea of what they were supposed to mean, but Claire seemed to understand it.
"So...what exactly are we watching?" Leon asked, resting his hand on the table and leaning a little closer to see better what showed on the screen. He could almost feel his face grazing Claire's cheek.
"Well, it seems the security system kept a small datalog of biohazards in here. It's not very detailed, but it might give us an idea of what we'll find down there. This file here is the list of viral subjects kept in their repository. The number corresponds to strain number, followed by the short name and then the color signals hazard category," she explained, pointing at the screen, " green is level one, blue is level two, yellow is level three, and red is level four. White names must mean they're unlisted."
Leon watched at the screen, noticing that most names were in the red.
"There's also the mutant viruses: the T-virus, G-virus, T-Veronica, T-Abyss, C-Virus, T-Phobos, Uroboros….they pretty much have a sample of every virus developed by Umbrella. Also, they seem to keep bacterial samples and parasites, too. God, this place is a time bomb. If any of these things were to fall into the wrong hands or got released by accident, it would be a disaster. I mean, B.O.W's can get killed, but these pathogens are invisible killers. Just what kind of Frankenstein were they trying to create using this?"
"That's what we'll have to find out. Anything else of our interest?"
"Yeah, there is a list of B.O.W's kept in here. Most of them are small old friends: hunters, creepers, lickers…, but there are these numbers over here. They have no data information, so I can only speculate and say those are the poor unfortunate souls used as guinea pigs for their test with whatever thing they were trying to create."
"That information sure is useful. "
"It is. Leon, can I borrow your phone?"
Leon was perplexed by the sudden request, but he pulled out the device and gave it to her. The redhead connected it to the computer and began typing; a few minutes later, she returned the device and pulled away from the machine.
"I put the map into it and also the datalog. We should send it to Chris, too. That should come in handy."
Like I said, smart, he thought of taking the command resending the data to Chris.
"Not bad. Ever considered entering the secret service? I could use a partner like you, Ms. Redfield." he said, putting the device back into his pocket.
"I am not an agent material, Mr. Kennedy. " Claire replied with a smile.
"I wouldn't be so sure. I think you would be a great partner, and I'm a picky one."
"Then I should be honored, Leon."
Leon chuckled. He pulled out another chair and sat by her side. The place was warmer than the one they had stayed at last night, but it was still a little chilly, so when Claire had intended to return his jacket, he had politely rejected it.
"Don't blame me if you catch a cold." she had laughed.
" I wouldn't have to. I am sure you would show up in my apartment to nurse me back to health if that was the case."
"I wouldn't steal that opportunity from your sweetheart, Leon. Besides, I am too busy to do that."
"I am sure you'd make the time for me. We are good friends, after all."
"Good friends that haven't seen each other in centuries..." she chuckled.
"We are here now, so I doubt that's a problem."
"We barely know each other outside from saving the world and surviving an apocalypse?"
"That can be fixed, Claire. It's a matter of talking."
"With biscuits and tea...preferably." Claire laughed.
"Can't say that wouldn't be nice, but I accept any other alternatives as well." he smiled in the same playful manner.
"I am surprised that you're still single. You're such a flirt," Claire chuckled, punching his arm affectionately, "You were already a flirt back then, but I guess the years made you worse."
"So, I was flirting?"
"You still are a flirt." she laughed, "But I kind of like that from you anyway."
"From me, huh?" he repeated thoughtfully, and for a moment, he thought he'd seen a dim shade of blush across the woman's face, but when he watched again, she was as pale as she usually was.
"Ah, don't mind me. I'm saying random stuff. I tend to do that when my mind isn't busy with something. Guess I'll flip over these files again."
Claire pulled out the folders she'd picked earlier and began rumbling through its contents. Leon wasn't much into that sort of thing, but he pulled himself closer to take a were nasty looking pictures of ill people. Some of them were probably very old, judging by the yellowish color on the material, but some others were particularly recent. One of the pictures caught his attention, a grotesque creature with its torso all covered with bulbous pores.
"I know that one…" he said, pointing at it, " I fought a couple of them in Tall Oaks and Lanshiang."
"Lepotitsa," Claire read, "I superspreader, huh? Nasty thing, it must have given you lots of trouble."
"You have no idea."
"Let's see. It's a full mutation of the C-virus, intended to disperse an airborne form of the virus around its immediate area. It can transform surrounding subjects into zombies spontaneously. Well, it does sound like an inconvenience. Huh, project supervisor, C. Radames," Claire read, "Dr. Radames, huh? So she was into this."
"Friend of yours?"
"No, but I met her once or twice. She was a genetics prodigy. I heard about her from my contacts at the university and saw her in a couple of lectures. Unfortunately, she went missing in 2009. I guess this might explain what happened. C-virus, huh..." Claire passed the page, and her expression darkened, "I know this one. They were in Sushestvovanie, so they were called Revenants…"
Leon watched Claire's bitter look. He could understand that watching these creatures also brought him unpleasant memories. He put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a friendly squeeze, to which she replied with a soft pat on it.
She closed the folder with a sigh and put it rubbed her temples, and he could see that her head was probably bothering her again. He was not a medic, but he didn't think concussions did not last that long.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, my head it's bothering me again, but it isn't that bad. I am just glad that we don't need to run away today."
Leon was glad, too. He was used to the continuous hunt and get hunted cycle with B.O.W's, but it didn't mean he wouldn't get tired. Especially when they were new types. He moved close to Claire and pulled her closer, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder. An innocent gesture. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away, and she seemed to welcome it warmly.
"How many women have had the chance to use your shoulder as a pillow?" she muttered softly.
"I lost count…" he snorted, "I'm just kidding. You're probably the first and the only one I'd lend my shoulder to."
"I am pretty sure that's a lie, but it is still kind of sweet."
"Why would it be a lie?"
"Because you are a gentleman. I am sure you would lend it to any lady in distress."
"Well, maybe only those whom I like," he admitted, but contrary to popular belief, he wasn't much of a lady's man, and there were only a few women he cared for deeply. Claire was one of them. Despite their little interaction after the incidents in Raccoon and Harvardville, Claire was an important part of his life that would always stay by his side: the lovely woman who stormed to him in a city filled with zombies, looking for her brother. The rest of the list was a short one, and naturally, it included Ada. The Asian woman might be hard to read, but she had helped him on many occasions, and he considered her some kind of ally; then there was Hunnigan, who had become his partner in most of the missions, and of course, there was Sherry. He had had contact with other women in his years of service, but they didn't leave a mark on him as these ladies did.
"So….that means you like me." Claire snorted.
"I do," he replied sincerely.
He liked her, yes, but now that he had said it, he wondered what sort of "like" he meant. He liked her in the way that he enjoyed her company. He liked her in the way that he wanted to keep her safe; he liked her for who she was. It wasn't a physical attraction as it happened with Ada, but something more psychic. Claire was pretty, but even if she hadn't been, he still would have felt attracted to her, so no, it wasn't physical. The more he happened to learn, the more he found her attractive.
"Well, to tell the truth, I didn't expect such a bold answer," Claire admitted, and this time, he was sure her cheeks had grown pink.
"I didn't expect it either…. It just came out."
"Well, I suppose I should have known. We are friends after all, of course, you'll say that."
Was it friendship behind his answer? He was beginning to doubt himself. He would lie if he said he had never had some sort of feelings for the younger Redfield. After all the mess they had gone through, he had developed a small infatuation with her. She was the young girl with an auburn ponytail that fought bravely despite her fears. When the two of them had chosen to take separate paths, he had pushed those thoughts away, but maybe they had never left.
"Maybe...maybe not," he said thoughtfully.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I like you."
"You already said that.."
"Yes…" Leon replied absently, "Claire, have you ever wondered why we didn't end up together?"
"We had different ideas...you wanted to fight, and I had had enough fighting. We chose different roads, you said it yourself, and those roads took us into different places."
"That…"
That's not what I meant, he thought, but now, the question made him embarrassed. Had he wondered why they had never taken their relationship into something more serious?
Claire and Leon had always gotten along well. They had automatically clicked for the very first moment they had met in Raccoon, which had helped to keep them alive. Of course, at the time, he had been young, and he had caught interest in Ada. Something that Claire disagreed with his reasoning.
"That might be it."
"To be honest, you probably see Chris more than I do." she giggled.
"Not as much as you think, but we often bump with each other when our missions happen to overlap. The last few times weren't that nice..."
"I guess that's pretty much the only way you can get a hold of him. I learned the hard way. No use chasing after him: I can only wait patiently until our paths cross. Applies to you, too."
"To me? I am not as hard to find as Chris."
"No, but you're not easy to grab either."
"Then what about you?"
"Me? If any of you call me, I can promise you. I'll be there. Whether it is 3 am or in another continent, but if it's later, I might take a while to get there. Agg..."
Claire pinched the bridge of her nose and let out an annoyed groan.
"I hope Chris brings painkillers. I'd rather be painless when we get down there. "
"Maybe you should let us handle this."
"No way, I need to see it myself. It's just a stupid headache. It won't kill me."
"Then...sleep a little. Maybe the pain will be gone when you wake up."
He felt her nod, and a few minutes later, he caught on her steady breathing as she had slipped into sleep. Leon sighed. There was nothing more he could do but watch over his companion until the sun or the rescue team arrived.
NOTE: if you guys want to come and chat about the fic, or just about CLEON in general. Feel free to drop by the discord and say hi! JOIN SERVER
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radioleary-blog · 6 years
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The Injustice League
If we had to elect a billionaire womanizer with anger issues, I wish we had elected Bruce Wayne instead. That I could get behind. Think about it, President Batman. How does that sound? Pretty damn awesome, that’s how that sounds! “Pow!” “Biff!” “Ka-Pow!”  I love those comic book sound effects that accompany a solid kick to the face or a roundhouse punch on the old Adam West Batman show. I bet “Ka-Pow!” probably hurt a hell of a lot more than “Biff!” or “Pow!”, right? There was definitely a wide range of fight sound effects, I actually did a little research to find some other real examples of superheroes hitting each other, and they weren’t all great:
“Bam!” That’s not a punch, that’s the sound of that obnoxious midget Emeril Lagasse cooking food on TV.
“Zonk!” Sounds less like a mighty blow from Thor’s hammer and more like the stoner from Doonesbury doing blow and getting hammered.
“Boom!” “Crash!” These two word show up a lot in comics, and what scares me is these are the same words they use on Wall Street every day to describe what’s happening to our retirement accounts. It doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence that fluctuations in the market are like Batman’s fist, and my 401K is the Joker’s face.  
“Crack!” “Zap!” “Crash!” That sounds like the drug you did, the police hitting you with a taser, and the sound you make as you hit the sidewalk. I would imagine the next sound effects would be “Make-Bail!” “Court-Appear!” and “Do-Time!”          “Fap!” “Fwap!” “Sock!” “Bonk!” “Bamf!” “Wank!” “Splooge!” I kid you not, these were all really used in Marvel Comics from the 1980s. But it sounds more like the soundtrack of every teenage comic book nerd discovering masturbation. The next sound effect was most likely “Ma! Don’t You Knock?!”
But I digress. President-elect Batman. The Caped Crusader-in-Chief. The Dark Knight POTUS. Sure, it’s crazy, but I think that actually sounds less insane than our reality here on Earth-Prime, with President-elect Donald J. Trump. What the hell happened? Is it just me, or does it feel a little like we somehow stepped into an alternate reality that really wasn’t supposed to happen. Like someone messed up the timestream, and we all have a residual memory of things having been better somehow in a significantly different world. We can feel it in our bones, that things were intended to go down another way. It’s kind of like The Man In the High Castle, Philip K. Dick’s dystopian novel of an alternative reality where America lost World War II. It was a book I loved as a young man and read over and over, but now I know it as that show that’s supposed to be good that I can’t see because I don’t have Amazon. I preferred the book. There are certainly parallels, Trump actually lives in a high castle. But it’s more like The Man In the Gaudy Ostentatious Gold-Plated Tower. And rather than leading an underground resistance against Nazi and Imperial Japanese rule, he just kind of causes traffic in midtown Manhattan to become a permanent unmoving cluster-fuck from MoMa to The Met.
Maybe Donald Trump is like Batman from an alternate reality where his parents don’t get killed in an alley during a robbery attempt. So rather than devote his life to seeking justice and protecting the city from evil, he instead goes on the Howard Stern show and talks to Baba Booey about third-world swimsuit models he’s banged while he and one of his three wives were “on a break”. You know, Bruce Wayne only pretended to be a shallow, rich, gropey asshole so people would never suspect he was secretly a hero. I don’t think our President is pretending, and I don’t suspect he’s secretly a hero, either. I hope he is a hero, sure, but I still hope Andy Kaufman is just faking his own death, too.
Hey! Wait a minute! This explains why Trump’s eyes are so white while the rest of his face is burnt orange! He wears a mask! Holey Moley, It’s all starting to make sense! But whereas Batman fought the Penguin, The Riddler, and Poison Ivy, Trump mostly just fought Rosie O’Donnell. And a girl in a beauty pageant. And the cast of Hamilton. And I don’t think he actually won any of those fights, either. While Batman keeps the peace in Gotham City, one time on the Celebrity Apprentice Donald Trump kept Meatloaf and Gary Busey from fist-fighting over missing art supplies. Yeah, Batman seems like the better choice to me. Although I wonder what the sound effects would be for a Batman administration? “Veto!” “Photo-Op!” “Fund-Raise!”
As I’ve been thinking about this, and taking this weak premise far too seriously, I’m beginning to realize I may have some real problems with a Batman presidency. Not so much with the hitting and the vigilante stuff. Not with the fact that he’s a lunatic who deludedly thinks he rules a major metropolitan city, and if anyone else in a costume challenges him, he locks them away in Arkham mental asylum. No, my problem is the way he treats Alfred. Batman just may be a republican after all, because he treats Alfred the way the Walton family treat Wal-Mart employees.
How come every villain in Gotham City, from Clayface to Two-Face, they all have dozens and dozens of well-trained mercenary henchmen working for them, but Batman? He’s just has Alfred. He makes Alfred do absolutely everything. Bruce Wayne is like the richest man in Gotham City, but he’s too cheap to hire any real workforce? No wonder Gotham City is constantly overrun by criminals - Bane’s got an elite squad of para-military assassins knocking off the Gotham Bank, and Batman’s got an 85 year old British guy who’s gotta finish a load of laundry before he gasses up the Batmobile.
Alfred is like, “Yeah, right away, ‘Master Bruce’, mind if I put your damn socks away before I do the pre-flight check on the Bat-Copter? ‘Cause if I don’t take them out of the dryer right now, everything is going to be wrinkled AF by the time you get back.”
“You do realize I’ve only been trained to kiss rich people’s asses and serve soup, right? You want me to set the table and get the door? No problem. You want me to load Kryptonite missiles onto the Bat-Tank? Then you better download the manual, Caped Crusader, because they didn’t cover that shit in butler school. It’s bad enough you’ve got me changing the oil in the Bat-Jet while I’m wearing a tuxedo, but then I gotta keep dinner warm all night while you brood over the city from the top of a watertower.”
“You know, you employ like 50,000 people worldwide with this Wayne Foundation and Wayne Industries, and routinely hire thousands more temporary workers and independent contractors. You know that, right? You are on the board of directors. Here’s a crazy idea, let me get back to polishing the silver and ironing your cape, and maybe you bring in some people who are actually qualified to run your advanced-weapons motor pool.”
Is it my imagination or does it look like Alfred works seven days a week? Every crisis I’ve ever seen in Gotham, Alfred is always right there. I’ve never seen him take a day off. You’d think if something happened on a weekend, Bruce Wayne would have like a part-time guy there. “Hey, Travis, is it? Can you hold off on doing those dishes and run down to the Bat-Cave and dig out my underwater Batsuit? Killer croc is starting some shit. No, I don’t know where it is exactly, Have you looked by the giant penny? Or the T-Rex? Alfred has his own system. You guys need to communicate on things like this.”
You think Alfred ever hangs out with Jarvis, the Avengers’ butler, and they just bitch about their jobs? “You just have Batman, you have it easy, Thor leaves his hammer laying around and I can’t move it, I have to vacuum around it, and I always vacuum up Ant-Man. And they ought to call her the Scarlet Bitch, let me tell you.”
But it just goes to show you how old these characters are that they have a butler. Who the hell has a butler these days? Mike Tyson had an entourage of like 50 people, but even he didn’t have a butler. A tiger-wrangler? Sure. A Maori Tattooist? Yes. No butler. Butlers are an anachronism from an antiquated class system. Batman still reflects the culture of the 1930s when he was created. Good thing Batman isn’t from like 70 years earlier than that, or it probably wouldn’t be a white guy working for him, and he probably wouldn’t have a choice. And when he said ‘Master Bruce’, he’d really mean it.
So let me see if I got the story straight here. Alfred raises Bruce from a kid after his parents were killed. And in gratitude, Bruce makes him work like thirty years past retirement age. No pension plan? So he’s just gotta keep working until he drops dead? No 401K? Bruce Wayne is one cheap bastard. No. He’s a Cheap Bat-stard.
Batman is so cheap he won’t even rent a nice place for his Batman stuff, he just lurks in an underground cave full of batshit and stagnant water. I don’t know which he’s gonna catch first, the Riddler, or dysentery. Is he gonna collar a criminal, or just get cholera. A damp cave? Really? It’s a breeding ground for mosquitos. He’ll get the zika virus before he gets the Joker. He’s basically in a subterranean pit filled with bat guano, breathing that shit in, he’ll get double-pneumonia before he gets two-face.
And they thought Howard Hughes was a crazy billionaire. At least Howard Hughes was smart enough to bang some movie stars. Batman? What’s his thought process on a Friday night? “Hmm, what to do tonight...I could date that supermodel who’s been sending me nude selfies….but on the other hand I could impale some junkie mugger with a couple of Batarangs… I gotta go with Batarangs. Hey Alfred!”
Make America and Gotham City great again.
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justmissjewelz · 7 years
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2017: My reality
It has always been a mission to keep fit and healthy especially after giving birth to my kids. Prior to marriage I had the time of my life doing what I wanted to do and like in the sports realm. Adrenaline was the game and satisfaction was the reward. My yearly planning revolved around sports events.
  Fast forward to now, I still needed to keep active, but smartly and realistically with the assumed role of mother and wife. When I start with that goal (being fit and healthy), it makes it easier for me to plan what I would do to be able to achieve. Its like opening a map, and I am at point A. I have an end destination, and will have to find a way to get there. Obstacles are part of the ‘tour’ package. With that in mind, I am prepared to make alterations in planning need be, but still, with that end destination in mind.
  Deciding on Standard Chartered KL Marathon
With this being said, I intentionally booked my dated for the Standard Chartered KL Marathon as a reason and motivation for me to keep moving. You know that ‘lost’ feeling when you don’t have a goal or purpose? Well, I turned that around and decided that KL Marathon will be one of those smaller goals (bigger goal –> keeping healthy and fit) I can look forward to. Of course there are other events, just that timing wise, it clicked with my current fitness. I did train for the Powerman Malaysia duathlon event where I did the Short Distance. It was fun and I did not finish last! Special thanks to Azhar for accommodating with my training plan request.
For the Standard Chartered KL Marathon (registered for half-marathon) , I was on Hal Higdon novice 12 weeks program. Again, this is all about planning and being objective and real with what I wanted to do, and how realistically I can achieve that. So this was the way:
Registered for the event. Carefully handpicked a distance suitable for my then suitable fitness level
Look for a suitable training program. I could never go wrong with Hal Higdon’s program for running events
Put down the plan in writing into my organiser/planner . Writing it down worked for me as I can see on a weekly and monthly view my training plan
Work to achieve each week’s training goals AND being able to breath daily as a full time data analytics executive, a mother and a wife. Creativity is essential in ensuring our training is on track regardless of the obstacles we might be facing
Planning my logistics was exciting. It flexes my problem solving ability !
  It is also important to ensure all bodily systems are given their rightful maintenance. I was having some plantar fascia issue which I got fixed with a couple of session at my favourite physio. Sports massage or deep tissue massage are options to rewards your muscles and joints after the weekend long run 🙂 You need it !
Race day
So fast forward to race day, I was at the back end of the half marathon lot. Thousands of runners but managed to bump into my Robert Downey Jr. look-alike triathlon buddy, Azman. He rides with the BJCC group by the way (they ride like the wind!).  Arif Sidek was running the half too but he was at the front. Parked about 1km or less from the start line, dropped off my backpack at the luggage area and pee-stop at the ladies at Dataran Underground. I took my wudu’ (ablution) as race start was just a couple of minutes before Subuh.
I had my trusted Suunto T3 with me and that was all I needed to steer and keep me on track. Of course had to have my phone with me to take photos. I was there to finish the race. Quietly aimed for anything sub 3 for this come back half marathon.
Gun-off, and there we were shuffling our feet through the start line. It took about more or less 8 minutes if I remember correctly ! Subuh (fajr/morning prayer) came, and I saw a group of runners already performing their prayers on office building walkways. I quickly dashed to join them without much thinking. So there I was in submission alhamdulillah.
Continued the run, and was super excited to run through Jalan Ampang and the AKLEH highway. I basically grew up in Ampang and being able to scale the street in the early morning was just somewhat momentous. Passing the Rubber Research Institute Jalan Ampang on foot was just amazing. So apparently I am not the only one in love with this historic art-deco building designed by Arthur Oakley Coltman.
Up on AKLEH (Ampang-KL Elevated Highway) was a thrill (for the love of hills). We’re into our 9-10th kilometer and it normal to see people already slowing down at this stage, more so up a generally steep hill. Slowly cruised my way up  before stopping briefly at the mobile toilet stationed around the 11km mark for a quick relief. Not long after that bumped into Kam and Fiza (they just got engaged recently, Congratulations!) , a quick photo op (don’t we love taking mid run photos!) and off I went. Now heading down to Sultan Ismail toward the Jalan Kuching turn off, passing by the Sultan Ismail LRT Station. There was this water mist balloon arch thing, but did not feel cool at all. So best just pour out a bottle of water on the head when passing a water station.
From Jalan Kuching through Jalan Kinabalu – Jalan Parlimen – Jalan Damansara – back on Jalan Kinabalu passing the National Mosque on the left and PosLaju building on the right (Malaysia national courier), and straight ahead to the finish line in front of the 12 year old Bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad.
With Edwin Thiang, upcoming national triathlete 🙂
Spotted Bacin and Dett at the race kit collection
Find your name 🙂
Sultan Abdul Samad building in black&white
PC post event with Malaysian top marathoners
My fav art deco building in KL 🙂
Me and Shaik Jamil’s family
Collage – photo collage by Arif
OK, not bad !
Overview of the route and basic stats from MapMyRun
Cool analysis !
Half-marathon splits
    Half-marathon splits
  The splits, water station etc
1KM – Subuh (morning prayer)
4KM – Toilet stop
12KM – Water/Toilet stop
21KM – Stopped to help a cramping runner
There were another 2-3 water stops not listed above, even a ‘banana stop’ which I felt was a bit too into the race.
The water stations were located at acceptable distance from one another, likewise the mobile toilets. All in all, it was an enjoyable run. Couldn’t be any better if not for the right dose of training and preparation.
I was also given a media pass, thanks to my blog, to cover for the event including their prize giving ceremony and press conference.
The KL Marathon was first organised in 1989 and was previously sponsored by Ambank before Standard Chartered took over as main sponsor in 2009. Can I see some hands up if you still keep your AmBank KL Marathon certificate? I have mine !
Standard Chartered Kuala Lumpur Marathon official page
  To all finishers, Congratulations. Those who didn’t , look forward for this annual event next year ! There are many other events nowadays. Just gotta pick wisely !
With this half marathon done, I am looking forward to start training for my next event in September.  Been off running for while now after Ramadhan (fasting month) and Eid !
  I have this thing for brick stairs and wall! 
  Thanks for reading, and have a nice day !
Yours in writing,
missjewelz
    Next post : KL SEA GAMES 2017 Update #1
    Standard Chartered Kuala Lumpur Marathon 2017 (belated report) 2017: My reality It has always been a mission to keep fit and healthy especially after giving birth to my kids.
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