#ahshdkwloj i want to squish him

[withclawandvine]

katsuki thinks he's probably in love with his administrative assistant. he can't say for sure, but he spends an awful lot of his time in the office distractedly sneaking glances, and every time he hears that bright, "good morning, dynamight, sir!" he kind of feels like he's going to hurl. it's the nauseating combination of elation at the excitement in your voice — you must be happy to see him — and the disappointment at the sound of his hero name. so professional, distant.

he's complaining about it to the idiots he calls friends over a round of drinks — a decision he already regrets. especially when shitty hair opens his dumb mouth to ask if he’s tried talking to you. and not just about work stuff.

he thinks about it all weekend — do you think he's rude if he's only bossin you around? do you see it as bossing? would you like it if he just... talked? what would he even say??

and after an immediate and decisive failure on monday morning (in which you chirp, "good morning, dynamight, sir!" and he just nods like always) katsuki throws himself into his desk chair, opens an incognito tab, and types: how to start conversations into the search bar.

(you might even steal a glance at him, as you often do, and wonder privately at what he's working on — his face is awfully red)

so when you pop your head in to ask if he's decided about that charity gala next month, he goes for it. and... well, he's never been good at this kind of thing and until now, he's never cared. you tilt your head, clearly waiting for his response but all that's going through his head is how lovely you are.

it reminds him of tip #2: start with a compliment. but obviously he can't just come out and say that. it'd probably make you freak out and report him to HR. so he'd have to go with something... milder. or maybe he should forgo the compliment and try #6: ask for advice.

as he's weighing his options, he remembers that the first tip was to project positivity and figures maybe he should smile?? one time kaminari told him he had a nice smile, and to this day, katsuki isn't sure if the dunce was pullin his leg or not.

it feels... odd — his cheeks are stiff, his teeth feel too exposed. he's too distracted by that to really think about what he's saying. "'m gonna make a donation, but do you think it's worth goin? you're very ..... sensible." there. #6 and #2 done.

now if only you weren't looking at him like he'd just jumped up on his desk and started doing an irish jig. he can't quite hear your response over the blood rushing in his ears so he just nods and thanks you, and pretends to check his email. when his office door closes, he lets his head fall onto his desk with a dull thud. what the hell was that??? SENSIBLE!?!?!?! 

he spends most of the rest of the day avoiding looking in your direction and contemplating doing a tenure in the states after all. 

he does not expect you to come back into his office and present him with not one but two tickets to the charity gala. he stares down at them, trying to make sense of it, and then it clicks — what you’d been saying when he asked your opinion on the event. … and these kinds of things are more fun if you bring someone.

shit. not only had he agreed to going to the damn thing but now he has to find someone to…. he looks at you. that soft smile on your face — a real smile, not a pained grimace — and his stomach flips. but surely you wouldn’t want to come to some stuffy party with him.

#YES !! YOU DO !!!!!! #this played in my head like a movie while listening to 'ballad of a homeschooled girl' by olivia rodrigo #everything he does IS tragic #he just…. never cared about getting someone to like him until now. until you #ahshdkwloj i want to squish him #mha #bakugou x reader #my writing: mha