#also get it cuz the letter is upside down format

[tired-bisexual-brainrot]

love, mike

that sounds stupid, i know. you aren’t supposed to begin a letter with the end. it’s exactly the opposite of what they taught us to do when writing a letter in the 4th grade. but the thing is, our whole lives have been the opposite of normal. from being bullied, to meeting a girl with superpowers, to fighting monsters from a hell dimension, nothing in our lives have ever been in the norm. that’s exactly why we were ever bullied in the first place. because we aren’t normal, we don’t fit in. we never wanted to fit in.

ever since you moved, i’ve felt like a part of me is missing, like i lost you. i feel the same way i felt all those years ago when you went missing. that was the worst day of my life. it was also the day i met el. she’s the only reason that we were able to save you, she was the best thing that could’ve happened to me, or rather, us… at the time. i mean, el literally has super powers, but she was like us in the sense that she didn’t fit in either. she’s never going to fit in, we’re never going to fit in. but this letter isn’t about el, i guess in a way it sort of is, but it isn’t. i know that doesn’t make sense, but just bare with me here.

throughout this whole letter, i’ve kept circling back to not fitting in, to not being normal. hell, i started this letter with “love, mike,” which is entirely the point. i’m too scared to say it out loud, i’m too nervous to even acknowledge it most of the time but i just had to get it out, i had to write it down. i’m a writer, it’s what i do, and i feel like even if i did have the courage to tell you in person i wouldn’t even be able to get the right words out because i suck at articulating my feelings verbally and it would come out all wrong.

the point is that for the past 3 years, i’ve loved el, and i still do love el, that isn’t going to change.

i love her, but i’m not in love with her, not like i am… with you.

i love you, will. i love you so much that it hurts. it’s physically painful for me to not be near you, to not be able to talk to you everyday. you’re mom has that new telemarketing job, it’s why i haven’t been able to call. don’t get me wrong, i’ve tried, i’ve tried every single day for months, but the line is always busy. knowing you, you probably think that i’m ignoring you, that i don’t care about you anymore. which is not true at all, will, and i really hope you know that. i know i could’ve sent you letters, i send el letters all the time, but i knew that if i sat down and tried to write you a letter that i would start confessing everything i feel for you, pretty much like how i’m doing right now actually.

i think on some level i’ve always known. ever since that day we met on the swing sets, i wasn’t lying when i told you that that was the best thing i’ve ever done. you are the most important person in my life, i think you’re kind of the only thing that keeps me going most of the time. so yea, i’ll begin this letter with “love, mike” because it is exactly how i feel. it’s out of the norm, it isn’t what you are “supposed” to do, and i’ll begin every letter to you with “love, mike” until the day i die, because i’m in love with you. i love you, will. we are the exact opposite of what society wants us to be, and if i had to choose anyone that i wanted to be outcasts with for the rest of my life, i’d choose you. i would choose you a million times over. this all sounds crazy, but then again, we promised that we’d go crazy together.

it’s only fitting to end this letter with the way it should’ve began, so what you do now is totally up to you. god, i hope you love me too.

dear will

#byler #this came to me at 2am #it is now 3am and i will be going to sleep #enjoy your letter theory content #letters #alaina posts… sometimes #i hope this is actually good and not just something my tired brain thought would be good but ended up being a dumpster fire #posting this in the morning so it doesn’t flop 😁 #i write stuff… occasionally #also get it cuz the letter is upside down format #i’m so smart wow you should applaud me

[sailorvinus]

What are your thoughts on people who goes all out on the aesthetic for their blogs? Do you think they’re have the right to express their creativity however they want? && Other than roleplaying, what’s your favorite hobby?

✨ @deductry. meme. still accepting!

17. What are your thoughts on people who goes all out on the aesthetic for their blogs? Do you think they’re have the right to express their creativity however they want?

i think its fine as long as aesthetic doesnt hinder the ability to make a reply i can read. some people really do be out here triple spacing their words, adding bold, italics, upside down letters, strikethroughs, underline, and everything else and for what???? for a reply that the kids i used to teach could write. and they were like 4 years old. lol. thats sad....... that’s when i know someone’s not confident in themselves

dont rly understand why ppl trend chase. ive noticed ppl putting dividers in their replies now and im just??? mystified???? what is this... what does it add to the reply.... which if ppl wanna do it then fine but please consider this: my blog is pretty and its bad enough ugly icons that dont match them are ruinin the vibe now mfs wanna add a border that is totally irrelevant to the actual reply???? i.......... im gonna get a divider / border like these 2001 old web ones and then force everyone to look at it on their blog then the concept becomes goofy

i think id be fine with aesthetics if they didnt involve those chunky dunky ass container themes with super busy backgrounds + 50 textures, the crispiest color psds, promos that all look Exactly alike, navigation that u cant see, 20 x 20 icons the size of a cheerio, 4px text, the shittiest formatting on this side of lady gaga's america, and actually gave some sort of idk. pizzazz to the muse.

like if the aesthetics are important then at least let them tell a story too. and authentic. not something thats bein done cuz everyone else is doin it. id like to think i go balls to the walls with my blog too but you walk into my blog and you know it’s a myspace era throwback because that’s what my muse is supposed to be.

everyone can do whta they want! but if its uglee imma call it dat so......

30. Other than roleplaying, what’s your favorite hobby?

im a musician before im anything else so im probably in my daw fucking around. producing something. ive recently gotten into ambient electronica / ambient techno production so im finding joy in stringing together a bunch of synths til i hit the 6 minute mark, adding random bitcrush effects, some percussion just so it looks like i actually did some work, maybe a vocal sample of someone whispering.......... and then i delete it gfkldjgslf. im actually working on a beat tape tho. its been a work in progress for the longest time. but if i actually managed to find my voice as an electronic music producer then i guess i could get somewhere. using a daw is new to me. im more of an instrumentalist. drummer and flutist, primarily. but i dont have any drums and my flute is at my grandmas so there's that..............

i also like to read!!! i buy like 3 - 4 books a month. havent bought any since like november. i only bought two i think. but its fine because ill always revisit my recent favorites. ummmmm... video games. i rly like those old school ass niche ps2 era games like mr. mosquito, space channel 5, kinetica, etc.

wow do i luv internet drama. so im probably reading up on someone’s dumb bullshit on reddit or something!! or youtube. i love internet drama, its my favorite thing on the internet. i live for watching people be the very worst!!! other than that??? i like to collect and try out different skincare and research ingredients cuz its just fun. might go to school to be an esthetician when this whole covid19 panera bread is over.

i love collecting obscure jazz records from taiwan.

#( 🌙 OOC! RULER OF THE VOLCANIC DIAMOND PLANET. ✨ ) #/ i dragged a good bulk of the community but that's just how it has to be. #deductry

[slovenlyrecordings]

A ton of reviews just in courtesy of Terminal Boredom (they still hate 10" records):

ANMLS s/t LP Chilean street punko's who love to shout together - a lot and often. Reminiscent of 80's Spanish language boot-stompers Cicatriz, Eskorbuto and the like, but with added filth-blown guitars that are left tryna' cut through layers of amp cone dust and a seeping to the surface 70's rock cockpunch. The hardcore leanings and gang vocals calm a tad as the sides play on and I'm starting to hear echoes of John Reis riffage in the aptly titled "Instrumental" and the flip's opener, "V'amanos De La Ciudad". Thanks to "Pirata" they practically give you an Oi anthem at the end. Sort of a shock to see Slovenly head in this direction, as I'd expect the band to hook up with Lengua Armada, Sorry State or some other stateside stable of cellar dwellers. Is Ruleta Rusa still active? These cats should team up with them for a US stretch. Either way, I have no real knowledge of international hardcore (outside of Italy), so I'm gonna' shut up now and let you dig in on your own.(RSF)

The Cavemen "Nuke Earth" LP "Nuke Earth" is the third time these sleaze-Zealanders have been found rifling through the rubbage bins of garage shock past to toss a full platter. The best tracks within float to the surface - kinda' like pull tabs or smoke butts floating in the fetid water of a gas station squeegee bucket - and scramble about, attempting to create something along the line of a budget-punker's K-Tel collection. These cavemanish boys crank things off with "Lust For Evil" a tune that's got one boot planted firmly in the Oblivians camp and the other can be found kicking the 'Tards squarely in the gonads. Leather-jacketed riff warriors, hopped up on CPC (get it?!) and unleashing dueling leads and hostile vibes aplenty. "Janey" lightens things a tinge with some boozy balladry and organ rottens the rock during tunes like "Batshit Crazy" and "Concrete Town" in a way that could bring both Lost Sounds lovers, Spits fanatics and tattooed MCD car-show greasers lovingly together for a sock hop. Duster-huffers will rejoice to the dum-dum Dictator clunk of "Chernobyl Baby" and "Thug" which reeling in a meaty Gizmos/Penetrators spew. "Dont Wanna Hang" strips veneers in guitar frazzle and New Bomb Turk velocity. It's like having the Las Vegas Shakedown start up again, right there on your very own turntable! The parts may be aftermarket, but there's gonna' be some paunchy yet pleased turkeys around these forums real soon. (RSF)

ぐうたら狂 Gūtara KYŌ s/t 10” Damn, this here is a firecracker! What lies within these grooves are obliterated Teengener-ized riffs, and demented psycho-wails, all walloping upside the punk velocity of something akin to prime 80's Gauze. "Drive" got a lead that's reminiscent of a garage slop take of an old Soundgarden tune (I'm dead serious!) and it's pokin' out of a deteriorating Stalin bootleg. "Daydream" and "It's Gotta Be You" ride along hardcore gallops, rendered futile due to some of the gnarliest production filth since Tim Kerr was knob twisting. The shining light in all this scree would be the soulful belter "Romance" that kicks off the flip. This gold star doom rocker features strained crooning and a truly putrid solo that's - of course - blown all to snuff. It wouldn't feel outta' place on that 'Tokyo Flashback' sampler at all. Fo' real tho' - this platter could clear the sinuses of the most jaded of High Rise fan. Hell, Gutara Kyo is good enough to make me overlook the fact these songs are pressed up on the lamest of all formats (the dreaded 10") with a goddamn dumb 45 hole. Hey Pete, knock it off! All snark aside, I'd still tell folks to buy this, even if it was only available on floppy disc. Scum Stats: 100 copies pressed up on red and black splatterwax.(RSF)

Hand & Leg s/t LP Greek duo doing their best impersonation of that gluey/Krauty/fuzz-buzzy sound that the French has dominated for the past decade. This co-ed bass and drums act strips their music down to the bleached bone, leaving the sorta' repetitive weed-wacker chops and threadbare beats that Wire fans should froth over. Standout tracks like "Dogshit Country" lighten the low plod load a smidge, letting the high strings shine as if Godheadsilo was taking on a Volt tune. "Bloody Hole" closes us shop in a full two minutes of tone drone and irritated wail before the "song" proper takes flight within a spattered cacophony of pie-plate thwack and chanted vocals. Soothing to one's skull as This Heat. Dig yer feet in the sand, people. Scum Stats: 100 on clear vinyl.(RSF)

Häxxan "The Magnificent Planet Of Alien Vampiro II"" LP Nasally Israeli psych-boogie, for the moderne youth market. The press release mentions playing with Ty and them Fuzz comparisons are pretty on point in these here grooves. They also trot out bratty, childlike pop tantrums that should speak to the Burgerooligans that follow these updates as well. What you mostly get on this is quiet/loud dynamics pushing out a Black Angels/Frijid Pink hybrid. There's quite a bit of local flavor in their guitar pyrotechnics, so world-beat freaks and psych aficionados should perk up. Most of it makes for a fine fried background rock, but nothing is really sticking to my maw. A couple of tracks do stand out - "Circle Of Quantum" and "Snakes In My Hair" - both nearly seared my eyebrows off like the best moments of C.A. Quintet "Trip Thru Hell" with swirling, woozy leads and vocals lost in the arid desert wind. The whole ride is easy to digest and makes for decent afternoon accompaniment, but gotta' say I wanted more like those two aforementioned tracks. Better than the countless Ty & Dwyer clones we've had to weather so far. Better than the King Gizzard knock-offs to come. Let's just be happy today.(RSF)

Νόμος 751 (Nomos 751) s/t LP Electroshok-rockers that clatter along like a Grecian Metal Urbain. Drum machine robot riddims and twisted rockabilly riffs fighting against various space trash splatter and the occasional Spits-take on skate punk. There's a Grande Triple Alliance vibe rippling underneath that's hard to shake as well as more than a couple nods in the early Red Mass direction I use to enjoy (long before that act stank it up with Mac Demarco's hair-footed guest spots). I should ramble more about the tracks involved, but my janky-assed computer's 'bout to crash for yet another twenty minute interval - so I'm just gonna' go pogo about like some metaloid mutant instead. Give 'er a go!(RSF)

Proto Idiot "Leisure Opportunity" LP How the hell did the Hipshakes connection escape me?! Proto Idiot is way less Oblivian and way more Adverts than the 'shakes ever were. This here's a jagged pop-gone-puke to tunes like "Better Way Of Life" and "Angry Vision" - the sorta' stuff Jaytard did solo and that Useless Eater kid slung about. Comparisons to Devoto-era Buzzcocks seems apt, and there's a tad of 'Chairs Missing' up in here too. Honestly, either this is a love letter to the entire UK punker past catalog or I'm just an asshole who thinks so 'cuz of the English accent. Hey - it's the GG King Of The UK! Still, I'm perplexed that I never knew the Hipshakes were related. I'm bad at this game. I'd way rather party with this Proto Idiot than those stuffy shirted Protomartyr's out there. Good Fun. 'Nuff said. Scum Stats: 100 on green vinyl.(RSF)

Subsonics "Flesh Colored Paint" LP In this time of reunions around the corner for every wang-dang-doodle of a band that falls under the Budget Rock blanket, it shocks me to no end that Atlanta's Subsonics have never even given up. I've evidently been in the dark for nearly a decade (Sorry Slovenly/Sorry Subsonics.) as "Flesh Colored Paint" is their eighth full length. The band continues to do what they do best - muggy southern stomp filtered through Marc Bolan flutter and a Cramps-ian cha-cha heel strut. This sorta' glitter shimmer fits snugly nestled in the crotch region, somewhere between American Death Ray, Danny & The Darleans and so on. They've always been in my peripheral and I've witnessed them bring quite a solid live revue in my times, but they've never seemed tough enough to break me during my boozy-fueled heyday. NOW - on the other hand - being older, wiser and actually warming up to the voice of Brian Ferry - this stuff is pretty damn sharp! I'm fully locked down on the track "Begging Hands" here, which proves beyond any doubt that these swingers are as big of fans of Radley Metzger's 'Score' skinflick as I am. Elsewhere they beat on the traps like a Black Time light, less set on grate and more on the grind. "Die A Little", "Cold Cold World" and "In The Black Spot" ride in the Velvet's lil' Reed wagon, possibly playing at the wrong pitch. "I Must Be Poisoned" and "I'm The Most Popular Boy In Town" are cut from the same girl group worship and sequenced catsuit that Kid Congo stitches together with his Pink Monkey Birds. "Permanent Thaw" fires off that Black-Angels-Death violin scrape along its woozy train track clack and tunes like "Why Should Anybody Care At All" feature squirrelly, ragged soloing, as if front-mouth and string-slinger Clay Reed was dry humping his gee-tar on the studio floor (and chances are, he did). A good party platter for the red eyed sect. Now while we're at it, let's wax up them early WorryBird CDs!(RSF)

The Monsieurs "Deux” LP Knowing how much I loved Tunnel Of Love - one of the finest bombastic blowouts to cross my blurred vision in the early aughts - I feel like a lamestain for sleeping on this act for so long. Well, I fixed that over the past few months. Here I am, warming by the fire during this wintry bluster and ingesting another fine Andy MacBain release. Between this stuff and the Andy California EP, he's keeping Slovenly's Gladiators on the garbage rock radar (not that they ever really fell of it in the first place). The opener "Burning Flame" and "I Will Run" are straight up crash/bang shards of garage violence and if you said to me these were lost Tunnel Of Love tracks, I wouldn't argue it one bit. Things chill and take pop-ier turns within tunes like "Suburban Girls" and "At The Hop". Not saying cutesy levels of pop, but there's a definite whaff of catchy albeit retched perfection ala' Nobunny or Ramones girl group grabs. The femmes on deck keep Andy's cock-swingin' machismo at bay, adding great touches of Toody-esque back ups, forceful fuzzed power chords and abusive can bashing. "Get Right Get Ready" is rears a Karp riff and shoves it, clawing smack into the face of some delirious Dollrod slop. That's not a bad place to be - crawling around in a metallic Danny Kroha muck. Wrapping this fast lil' fucker up is "My War", which brings all the above elements to a broil, splattering about like a scorched Love cover turned beat-punk brat psych and going gloriously wrong. A wooly ride. Will ride again. Scum Stats: 100 copies on orange.(RSF)

#ANMLS #The Monsieurs #Proto Idiot #Subsonics #Haxxan #Hand And Leg #Hand & Leg #Nomos 751 #gutara kyo #The Cavemen NZ #Terminal Boredom #album review #Slovenly Records #slovenly recordings #punk #garagepunk #album #vinyls #punkrock #synthpunk #Νόμος 751 #ぐうたら狂