#also i mentioned arthur and the knights in the post cause they're usually the ones i see this with

[ifmagicexists]

there's something that bothers me so much whenever i read or see magic reveal concepts that involve "i'm more mad you lied to me than i am about the magic how could you keep such a big secret from me" and i finally realized its because it feels so. dismissive of merlin's struggle? him having to watch people with magic be arrested or executed or burned day after day after day, to listen to the people closest to him so casually refer to it as evil, as though that were an unquestionable fact, having to live every single day less and less sure he could ever be accepted after hiding so long and seeing so much.

like in general but esp as a queer person, seeing these takes that make a magic reveal just about "why didn't you tell me don't you trust me" when actually the characters did not really give merlin much reason to trust they would be accepting (and in fact often in their very reactions demonstrate exactly why he was hesitant), and even if they had he lives!!! in a place where it is literally illegal!!!! like it is so frustrating to constantly see these perspectives where arthur or the knights angrily question why merlin couldn't tell them and merlin just being silent in response, when its so beyond clear how difficult a position merlin was in.

merlin is almost never the main character in his own magic reveal scenarios beyond just worrying about the other person liking him again, and while i get why that is, since its the other person's perspective shifting usually, its still frustrating because its meant to be a culmination of his life's struggle and finally a full realization and acceptance of himself, and i wish we could see more of that: more of merlin's own messy emotions towards having to hide for so long, over fearing his own friends, over suppressing who he is, over getting used to being open about it for the first time in his entire life.

#bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #knights #this post is not aimed at anyone or anything in particular #and i hope i'm not coming off aggressively or anything #but its just a very common trend i've noticed and have been kind of frustrated over #also i mentioned arthur and the knights in the post cause they're usually the ones i see this with #weirdly gwen often just unquestioningly accepts merlins magic despite the fact that her father literally being executed for it combined wit #-morgana's betrayal would probably leave her with some complicated feelings about magic as a whole #gee i wonder why it is that her reaction is just skimmed over as easy 🤔 #anyway that's a Whole Other post the point here is #i want more of everyone realizing how hard it was for merlin #and more of merlin realizing how hard it was on himself #instead of reveal fics that almost always involve merlin comforting arthur/the other person #like there's a place for those but it just rubs me the wrong way given the whole setup #and how analogous magic is to queerness #res rambles