#also i'm willing to consider kate getting dusted and tony naming his daughter after her

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

anyway i finally saw endgame and surprisingly??? i did not hate it to the very primal core of my being??? 

but also i had like....the LOWEST standards for it, so that might be it more than how good the movie actually was.

really i just feel very “what a bizzare fanvid i just watched”

Onward!

The Good:

the whole Steve-in-the-Elevator scene. My little stuckate shipper heart was just like FUCK THEM UP BOO.

“that is America’s ass”

uh....

rocket!

and nebula! god i adore nebula more and more every day

and Valkyrie was soooo good and I’m glad Meiks and Korg were there

also Rescue fucking finally

and the whole a-force visual towards the end there, i appreciated that

also Carol’s lesbian haircut

STEVE BEING FUCKING WORTHY OF THE HAMMER FUCK YES

Sam getting the shield!

everyone coming out of their magical glowing portals

fucking. QUEEN BRUNNHILDE sorry KING BRUNNHILDE

find her a wife ffs

but also

fuck this movie

so like...it was REALLY slow for the first hour. at least. i was getting bored actually

Tony’s daughter was adorable and I love dad!tony but it’s also in line with Marvel giving men families to give them More Pain and I’m over that

also are you trying to tell me he wouldn’t have named her some derivative of peter? or carol, or nebula, since they’re the reason he is alive? i call bullshit

“marvel’s first openly gay character” you know what fuck you marvel

that woman in the support meeting might be kate in a future fic i’m just saying

for as much time as they spend tooling around this new universe they really didn’t give us much information--who is in charge? how are you getting electricity?

all i wanted was for gamora or nebula to kill thanos and i was denied this catharsis. fuck you. you can let an abuser kill the woman he abused but not vice versa? fuck. you. 

who was that random boy kid at tony’s funeral?

bold of the russos to assume peggy wouldn’t notice someone staring at her

how is nebula not dead? she killed a past version of herself so????

holy plot holes batman

because...the soul stone...YOU are supposed to sacrifice what is most important to YOU so...how does Natasha killing herself fulfill that requirement? Clint did not sacrifice her. This implies that Natasha loves herself the most and that means she would have gotten the stone...i’m so confused about this

how did no one notice nebula’s hands were wrong? you’ve known her for five goddamn years gang. yeah i get she covered it up but rhodey saw it get mcfried while getting the stone....this seems like something rhodey would notice. because. he’s fucking rhodey.

i get why like...narratively tony ~had~ to die but also...what’s wrong with fucking retirement? why couldn’t he pass the mantle of iron man on? like in? the comics? was that kid supposed to be iron lad i mean for realz

and I get that Steve got to have his happy ending with his one true love and that’s so great, but idk fam...i didn’t like it. and i think i don’t like it because it places this huge focus on Never Moving On and I guess some people probably do have their one true love and they never love another, but i think there’s real value in stories where people find love again, where people go through trauma and can still be happy even after going through loss. this is viscerally important to me

also i firmly believe that peggy is married to angie

does this mean steve knew sharon? since she knew peggy really well? and she kisses him? does steve just hide every time she comes over? it wasn’t creepy in civil war but it’s sure creepy now

although peggy explaining to everyone that her husband doesn't look ANYTHING like steve rogers is sort of hilarious. how did they even explain this.

no it’s getting worse because peggy has Alzheimer's supposedly well no fucking wonder she was confused with young!steve showing up and presumably her old husband steve showing up as well like. what. 

i mean. i’m glad steve got his happy ending

but i also feel like this was really insulting to bucky. Steve went back and never went out to find bucky? to stop him being tortured? the guy who is your best friend? you didn’t even say mcfucking goodbye? marvel was that “no homo” about their relationship in this movie???

chris and seb’s chemistry is just so strong they had to keep their shared dialogue to three lines?

i understand steve staying in the past. i get why they did it. i hate HOW they did it

wheremst the fuck is loki you fuckos

also all of Peter’s peers are 5 years older than he is

what on earth do the people who were dusted think of all the fucking ptsd all their loved ones have or the fact that THEY MISSED FIVE YEARS

was cassie living in that house all by herself?

also you know what it was really irritating when tony was blaming steve for not being around while completely ignoring any culpability he had in making it so that steve could not actually be around. and steve apparently made like the rest of us and blocked the events of civil war from his mind so he didn’t remember his valid fears

y’all fucked up your own timelines so bad like? sitwell is wandering around thinking cap is hydra, loki never spent time in asgard jail, or did the stones get replaced before those things happened? like immediately before? and if not i’m going to have to assume that loki went on the lam and then called noh to pick him up in earth airspace and noh becomes his unwitting getaway driver and eventually the ya get involved in interstellar crime shenanigans.

the fact that vision didn’t come back sort of implies that everyone who was killed before the snap didn’t come back, so that still leaves a shitton of asgardians dead, loki, and ???? who knows about gamora. right?

in conclusion, it was...okay. it had some really good moments but was mostly just “???????” for me. like, i’m not even mad. i’m going to erase it from my memory immediately except for Steve dating Kate in the five years and when Bucky comes back she’s just like “hey! I think we have the same boyfriend!” and they share custody of Steve until steve gets called in to consult on a mission and asks bucky to go on his date with kate and that’s how they become a triad 

#endgame #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #also i'm willing to consider kate getting dusted and tony naming his daughter after her #im like...very unimpressed