#also the first one is dhfjgkg bingqiu but like... withthat new geisha skin from idv

[zebratimw]

assortment

#uugg #svsss #mdzs #man I don't wanna tag shdjfkg #all of these excluding jiang cheng I plan to finish some day anyways dhfjkg #altho when is the question... hngg.... #also the first one is dhfjgkg bingqiu but like... withthat new geisha skin from idv #its called resilience of bamboo and is a rich green with bamboo and a black n red fan... idk man it just makes me think of them 🥺 #also I'm djjfjgg stressed rn #I'm making cosplay and I keep making little mistakes that ruin everything shfkgkg #ah.. it's so annoying... I hate all of it... but gotta push through anyways 💪 #also I got accepted teehee its an open enrollment so I was going in no matter what but its nice to get rhe email after waiting hehe #but also I think my friend is irritated with me so I've been leaving them alone but they also had like a breakdown so #idk how to go about interacting with them rn #cause like on one hand they completely ignored me earlier so clearly they don't wanna talk to me #but on the other hand they were having a rough time and maybe I should've said something anyways #and now its been hours and I'm still stewing on it shdkfkg so like I wanna say something still but now its awkward hfjfkgkh #man... I'm just gonna keep working UAHDKFKG #aiya.. I've been thinking about it before and moreso recently but I really don't make a good friend do I ? #sometimes I wonder if I'm capable of deeper emotion beyond myself cause moments like these make me think about how I always retreat #instead of pushing forward yknow like its awkward and weird but better going than pussyfootin around but ah I feel too awkward #so I just don't so like.. isn't that just me saying to myself I don't really care for my friend ? like even if its awkward for me wouldn't #it be better anyways? I've always been bad with comfort I've lived a very sheltered life so I lack a lot of experience and in a way empathy #so I've always been more on the cowardly and selfish side of things for sure... for a friend one should do better right but I can't seem to #be capable of doing more I just loiter jrjrjt how much is it base personality and how much is just lack of any real experience ? ehh.. #well no need to think too hard or else I'll be more useless sbdjgkg at least lets work and be a bad friend than be useless AND a bad friend