#although i dont know if they make tht good of a couple to me theres sth... missing there. that i cant quite put my finger on and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daisy--sorbet · 4 years

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heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

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omgthecrowsnest · 6 years

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Free writing 31 Aug 2018

So I’m going to try free writing, it’s begun right now and lets see why im doing this. i think im doing this because i want to learn more about myself, whys that, because i want to be a better perso. shthe situation with sharkie has meant that im feeling somewhat lost? no its more like my relationship, as beautoful as it was, did lead to me becoming more isolated and less of an individual, i need to discover those parts of me again. Maybe one day I can just be a fulll human being. yeah, i do think that i still like her? or maybe the idea of her? cause i do want to have her back, but i feel that’s because i know now that im different. i do feel myself as having grown. but its not enough, i know its not enough, and i know there s more to grow. i the sesne that i WANT to grow all that extra amount as well. maybe trying now will mean by the time im grown shell fall for me again. but tbh, it won’t happen. im going to allow myself to do this , to chase her? no, to get her to chase me, lol the phrasing, lolololol, tofor now, ill allow myself, because it onvolves grwoing as a person and thats something tha;s good regardless of the results. so yeah lets do that. maybe as a result of growing ill get over her. and tbh, i do expect her to like someone else quick, because for all she said about relatiuonships as a whole, its pretty obvious to me that it was me, me being less of a man tbh, my mental illness, my pussyness. the situation with my parents isnt the big deal, its just the overt symptom, but the way i dealt with it is the problem. intersitingly im thinking and talking more and more about sharkie instead of what i thought id be talking about. thats cool. what do i want out of tomorrow. i want to set an impression onto her. an impression that im a fun fun fun giy. thats why ive been practising charisma and jokes, and tbh i think ive done so well at it. THATS GOOD that translates to other parts of my life. because i definitely feel more confident and energised today after trying to be charismatic. and tha is greattt. I need to try and do that more, i feel funnier and i laugh at things more often. Things are more interes-thing, lelelelelel. i cant think i cant think just want to relax and revel in myself, but lets talk some more. about tomorrow. I want her to have a fun time with me, and also ill flirt with her. Subtly and very playfully, so she wont realise its romantic, just a part of our friendship. and that would leave her wanting more, at which ppoint i dont talk for the whole day and maybe only talk in a day or so. who knows. but practically speaking, i dont expect tomorrow to workout. shes been very bad at communicaiton these days and yeah that IS because im less on her mind, but when she makes PLANS, she should communicate. that i stand by. she’ll realise 1 day, cause its not just me, even lal saw that. others have probably felt it too. But what i will do is whenver i meeet her, in pulic, andshe meets friwnds or so, ill befriend them and give thme more attention than i give her,e specially if theyre girls. just make her jeaous, at the very least just to get her to realise what she’s doing wrong cause thats also something wrong she does. bu yeah i found out tht theres no word limit, or at least not enough for me to worry about so ill be typing this for as long as i feel necesasary cause this is oddly cathartic. i want her to be a good person and i want to be a part of her llife too. ideally and likely ill find nother girl, but if not for this, something very very fixable, i still think shes the perfect girl in all her otehr qualities. ive also wondered if im consciously changing my “type” to suit her, but no i do genuinely think i like girls that are confident and work to show it. a lazy bum or even someone who deos little doesn;t work for me yknow? no initiative. im sleepy but theres more to talk about. one day i think we can be friends again, and tbh, i do think we’ll date again some day. I think my next relationship will be either shallow and sexual or short lived af and something i use to learn more about people. im scared about a sexual thing though, because i really dont know how id deal with it if she does the same. but i know she might. she should. i just dont know how to deal with that. this is what makes me think i still like her, or maybe its just a whats the word possession kinda thing? Cause yeah, im jeaous when she does actiities i wanted to do with her as frists, so its not ike sexual jeaousy its ike, dude i wanted to be your first. thats messed up, i should find something to do about this entitlement thing. im glad i found charisma on command, really made my life better. i feel happier and more confident and although things with shanya arent as good as id want them to be, they are DEFINITELY better than they could have been. So im hapyp about that. I awant to be kind, and kind and proactive and samrt and fun and fun and enjoyable and have a good life. i thought she was the key to this, but now im realising that its me instead. its so cool that other peoeple have other means of getting this and i do wish i had those ways, but i have got my own ways. shanya doesnt get to go to hang out every day iwth lies like i do, so that be a huge benefit. i do wish she didnt tell me she has no time to hangout, and then go out and hangout with every one else on the planet lololol. but yeah im less bitterabout that as well, maybe if we meet i could bring that up. nah, i think ill just have tons of fun convos coupled with brother convo, then more fun convos, then ask aboutmyself, for my self growth thing. Lol, i need to get better at responding to her, maybe theree’s charisma on command videos for that as well. How to respond to stroies, how to piggy back and make someone else feel good. I shiould google, causeim great at attentive listening, but my lack of contribution just makes it less fun. more witty things to do should help. im going to try and write a poem after this. i think im largely done. i love you world. i love myself. and i wish i didn’t love shanya

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