#and I do not like taking them besides at auditions because it heightens your tolerance but whatevs

[hazzabeeforlou]

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#sigh I’m just either sinking faster than I thought into the dregs of autistic burnout or I’m getting old or both #I had to surprise sub for a symphony the last two weeks and it’s taken every ounce of my energy to learn the books and prep and LIVE LIFE an #and make food and shit #and practice for the audition in June #sorry I’ve been gone guys but god when things get crazy for me they just go nuts #and I was SO CLOSE to finishing and posting Garden pt 3 #but then this hit me and I just can’t write when I’m so stressed #I’ve taken like three beta blockers in a week I’ve been so nervous #and I do not like taking them besides at auditions because it heightens your tolerance but whatevs #when you’re panicking because you got called the day before rehearsals starts you just have to do what you can do #anyways. I will hopefully? be slightly more present this weekend