#and I’m going to break my lease early bc this is such bullshit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gayswampqueen · 7 years

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And on top of all the countrywide bullshit, on the home front I'm literally done with everything too!!!! FUCK I HATE MY ROOMMATES. Putting under a readmore because this will be painfully long

Our roommate spent the first three months that I knew her talking about how much a literal piece of shit actual abuser her husband was, how he has no respect for any of her boundaries and seems totally intent of keeping them in a bad situation so she can never leave him. 3 months of that shit while we worked on getting a new place.

OBVIOUSLY Tony and I don't want to become close to this guy because he treats his wife like shit (and we've witnessed it at least a couple times) and she claims she wants to become independent of him and get a job and learn to drive and whatever. She also says he controls all the money and she has no access to it, and he's not been saving anything the last few months. She's worried about getting stuck at this shitty apartment for another year (its not serviceable for literally any internet or tv services, it's p dumpy but Tony and I needed a place fast so it worked for what we needed) and the conversation comes up that instead of Tony and me paying rent, we can just save the money up for a new place for all 3 of us.

I’m not stupid. I know she's deliberately setting things up in a way where all the responsibility to save and earn the money falls on me and Tony, but if things work out she can take credit and hold it over us. But I agree because I don't want to get stuck at his place paying $500 a month and living off cell phone data for an indeterminate amount of time. I also notice that she talks shit on her husband all day to us, and when we say "wow that's pretty awful" she reports back to him that we can't stand him. Then proudly tells us about it. She's literally manufacturing fucking tension in the household, although due to her proud openness about it I can't be certain she's doing it on purpose or if she thinks she's facilitating some kind of communication?

When we move she doesn't want to leave her husband homeless, but both of them are saying he has plans to move out ASAP because "their relationship is better when they live apart." The second we put his name on the lease (bc Im not risking eviction by having him live here illegally) she becomes a lot less intent on the idea, and while she still talks about it its turning more into a hypothetical than a real plan or goal. Just like her learning to drive. Or getting a job. Or cutting toxic people out of her life. And of course she starts getting pissy and taking credit for being able to afford the place when Tony and I talk about it.

So it becomes really apparent she doesn't really follow through on anything she says AND she has a tendency to set up manipulative, no-lose situations for herself. She also can't work because she cant sit for long periods (except for when playing video games, binge watching tv shows, and her previous jobs where she sat for long periods) and she has a totally real disorder where she could pass out at any time which makes any job where she has to stand or walk around a safety hazard (no name for it that she can give, and no examples of it happening since I've known her even when she walks around a fair for 12 hours in high heels, but totally a disorder.) She blames it on spoon theory and postpartum depression, which we accept for about the first four months that she talks about it. She can't go to the doctor because money is tight but every time her husband has a toothache they go and get him medicine.

She spends four months talking about how she's suicidally depressed and doesn't have the energy to do ANYTHING (except for go to ren fairs, visit her family, go shopping, visit friends, host a thanksgiving party, and go out for drinks or hookah literally any time someone offers to pay for her) and has yet to see any kind of doctor, despite qualifying for emergency medicaid due to her and her Husband's lack of income. Oh, have I mentioned that her Husband can't hold down a job on top of everything else? But even though she hasn't worked for almost a year she still expects him to cook for her, clean for her, support the two of them and drive her around everywhere because she never learned because SPOON THEORY even though, AGAIN, SHE QUALIFIES FOR EMERGENCY MEDICAID.

So they start to notice that we're not exactly thrilled with the fact that even though 50% of the time neither of them are working, they cant do basic shit like clean up their dishes. They keep scrabbling to hide behind spoon theory (even though he doesn’t suffer from depression??) and we then offer a workaround in the from of a 2 day rule for messes which they then immediately start abusing. Then they just start leaving all the time - they're visiting x family member or y family member or x friends. They talk nonchalantly about claiming her sister's 4 kids on their taxes and splitting it with her. Why can't the sister claim them herself? Why because she does't work, of course, so she can't claim them! And "if her boyfriend (who financially supports both her and the children, mind you) claims them, he keeps all the money to himself!"

I think this is outrageous because I'm 99.99% sure that's literally illegal, but I'm hoping if I allow them to get their 7k without reporting them maybe they'll actually be able to pay their fucking rent.

Once it is confirmed that the sister is A-OK with the tax fraud, suddenly they start talking about how, because finding jobs has been soooooo hard (they have not been trying and have not been home) that they just want to wait until they get the tax return back and get their own place. They need to be around "people who make them feel like famiy" ie "enablers who want a free babysitter." And they also want to go on a tour of America vacation. Because obviously.

As they talk about this plan, I patiently wait for the part where they offer to pay us x amount of money to break the lease. They never bring it up. As the plans are still in a very fetal stage, and she's shown no initiative to follow through on 90% of her plans since I've known her, I don't press it

They're never available and keep leaving messes before leaving for weeks at a time. Then when visiting family in Oklahoma we find out a) the never paid the electrical bill they said they did and b) suddenly by the grace of god, a job opportunity opened up somewhere else! several states away! Before their tax return shows up! When they claimed to not be looking anymore!

Obviously this look pretty bad on their part, and I finally call her out on the fact that they have been loudly making plans to try and move out early without even trying to address the elephant in the room of breaking the lease with us. She says that OF COURSE they never intended to leave us in a bad situation. And also OF COURSE they want to move out, seeing as how all Tony and I talked about the first few months was how much we wanted her husband to move out.

At this point I back the hell out of this conversation because I'm about to throw my fucking phone at the wall and throw all their shit out the window of the apartment complex. She sat there and tried to gaslight my ass??? Like no, actually YOU wouldn't shut up about what an actual piece of shit dirtbag he was, and all we did was say "we will help you leave his ass because he sounds awful." And then, when we were almost a full month into our new lease after you swore up and down he would move out ASAP, we started asking what the timeline was.

HOW FUCKING DARE she act like him moving out was our idea that we were pressuring onto her, his poor faithful wife!!!! Just like when she spent 3 months talking about "thank you guys so much for saving up the money for the move, he would have spent it all on bullshit!" to suddenly switch to "um, that's not YOUR money you dropped on this move, it's EVERYONE'S money because we really could have used it but we LET you save it up instead" the second the lease was fucking signed!!!

JFC At this point i'm like fuck it take your damn tax return and move out we don't need your money for rent bc OBVIOUSLY you aren't paying it for February since Husband JUST got a job offer yesterday (interesting how every time he's actually TRIED to get one he's found one within a few days) and doesn't start till next week.

#today i will be kinkshaming my roommates for:#being the worst #trying to screw us #using mental illness as an excuse #gaslighting #gaslighting tw #domestic abuse tw #god damn it #roommate drama #roommate whining

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