#and grian being responsible for jimmy and mumbos permadeaths in both LL and SL

[the-dark-abyss]

Grian stares at his task. He had to reroll; he lied last time about completing. Of all the tasks, committing to the Bit is the most in-character one he could’ve gotten, but committing to every Bit is so much harder than he originally thought.

But this one. This task is going to kill him.

It’s… interesting, to say the least. Getting a wither isn’t that hard, but getting it to fight a warden is a whole other story. There are so many variables, so many things that could go wrong, and what if Etho died? What if Grian died? And now Mumbo is involved--

Someone is going to die. Lots of people are going to die. And it’s going to be Grian’s fault.

He stares at his task, and tries not to think about Last time. There was a wither, Last time. It didn’t do as much damage as he wanted it to. He wanted server-wide destruction. Now, all he wants to do is hide in BigB’s backrooms and never come out.

He can’t fail this. He can’t afford to fail this. He needs the hearts.

Grian is dreading the aftermath. Whatever comes after he places the final skull is out of his control, but he started it. Whatever happens will be his fault.

He stares at his task. Of course Mumbo has to be his… butler? Whatever Mumbo is. But he does know it’s making his life one hundred times harder.

Grian doesn’t want Mumbo to die. Not like… like Last time. He can’t cause Mumbo’s permadeath again. Not when he’s finally back and here and maybe not allies with Grian but still there to talk to and hang out and laugh with.

Grian killed Jimmy and Mumbo, Last time. His sword plunged through their chests and he justified it as retaliation in his head but he knows it wasn’t. He knows it was the red coursing through him and flooding his brain, turning his vision the color of red, red blood, even on yellow. He can’t kill them again.

But he does. He tries, so hard, not to. But they die anyway, and it’s his fault. They’re gone, just like Last time.

Jimmy had been celebrating. He wasn’t first out anymore, his Curse was broken. He was finally happy. 

Now he’s gone again.

Mumbo had just come back. He had just died, just turned Red. But he was back. Two Games without him, but he was finally back. 

Now he’s gone again.

Grian laughs with everyone else, a silly little Game with no long-term consequences. They’ll be respawned back home, waiting for them. Lizzie, waiting for her husband; Jimmy, waiting for his friends; Mumbo, waiting for Grian.

He logs out with everyone, momentarily in whatever Limbo they’re put in between sessions.

But he soon rejoins the world, and looks out over the utter destruction he’s caused. He looks to the hastily-made graves for the three final lives lost, signs crooked and words misspelled so poorly they’re barely legible. He looks at the homes around him, three of which their owners will never come back to. He looks to the Secret Keeper, the puppet master of their lives for the past month. He can feel his pulse move past the twenty-eight hearts on his arm, mocking. He’s alive, but they aren’t. Something he doesn’t deserve.

Grian screams. Gut-wrenching, painfully raw, full of emotion. It echoes through the world, empty of all other life.

This must be how they feel, trapped and utterly alone. 

At least there’s no one to see them cry.

#trafficblr #life series #grian #angst #secret life smp #secret life #secret life spoilers #(but i think everyone knows at this point) #ahhhhh #i speed wrote this #poor man is going THROUGH it #so. session 6 huh? #abyss writes #something something the parallel of secret life being the season mumbo is in #like last life #and grian being responsible for jimmy and mumbos permadeaths in both LL and SL