#and has also been reblogging transmisogynistic shit from s//intmicolash the last i was told

[butchladymaria]

So we’re back on this again…?

If I may that’s not what happened on Twitter. That’s not true.

She didn’t keep misgendering you after she learn about it. She learn it not to much ago as well. So the argument of her consciously misgendering you in your precedents posts are not really a valid point.

And she probably knows it’s not to accuse her of more thing. But you changed she/they to they/them just after your callout post. So it’s…really recent.

Anyway I’m not here to start something but to try to calm down things. Thank you and peace.

honestly that’s a relief to hear. i was taking the claim with a bit of doubt since i could not fact check it, and the person themself said that they were unsure of if they were right. i will say though, i do think the serious points i made in my reply to that ask still stand. explanation under the cut cos this got a bit long. general warning for discussions of transphobia.

in my previous posts i did not claim anyone consciously or maliciously misgendered me. i simply said that they did — which is true. misgendering doesn’t inherently imply malicious intent. i mostly said that to point it out in hopes that others who were interacting with her wouldn’t presume that she was correctly using my pronouns — i had someone who did mistake that.

here’s the thing though — i don’t… really mind if people accidentally use the wrong pronouns for me? it happens to most people — hell, i mess up my own pronouns sometimes. an honest mistake is one thing, but if someone keeps doing it after being corrected, or makes a big stink about how it’s sooooo unreasonable/malicious/manipulative to point out that they made a mistake, or gets defensive about it and makes you out to be some horrible aggressor for correcting them — then, yeah, at that point they are being an asshole.

and the latter is what k//tyahina has done. it really wasn’t a big deal or an accusation. but instead of just being polite and correcting herself, it’s become this whole thing. and that’s the bit i object to — because honestly, cis people getting defensive and rude when they get corrected is a) very common, and b) extremely draining. like we literally just want you to use the right pronouns the same way you use the right name for someone. someone pointing out that you misgendered them isn’t a personal attack, it’s literally just a neutral statement of fact. it doesn’t have to be a big deal — so just politely apologize and move on, yeah?

also, as i said in my prev reply — using only one set of pronouns for someone who uses multiple is, in my opinion, misgendering. i explained more in the other post, but tl;dr if you are only using one set of someone’s pronouns w/o knowing their preference, it’s kinda rude cos if we just wanted you to use one, we’d… just use the one. i used they/she because i wanted people to use they/she. part of the reason i dropped ‘she’ at all is because a lot of (cis) people used nothing but she/her. also, it may be worth examining why that is…? a lot of cis people solely used she/her for me because i present vaguely fem and they just saw me as Woman Lite.

anyway in conclusion this whole misgendering thing did not have to be a big deal and the only reason i pointed it out was because

1. i didn’t want others to make the same mistake she did

and 2. i kinda don’t like being misgendered by anyone? so i pointed it out kind of as an aside hoping she would stop.

k//tyahina’s reaction is more disappointing to me than her honest mistake — even now all she’s done to my knowledge is be really mad that i said she messed up. it’s also better to just… not decide people’s preferences for them if you’re not able/willing to ask.

anyway peace and love anon✌️

#transphobia tw #ask #honestly im kinda tired of all this stuff since i feel i have said my piece and i think k//tyas reaction completely speaks for itself #and has also been reblogging transmisogynistic shit from s//intmicolash the last i was told #also i just realized i Never even had her blocked???? unless tumblr changed how they show your blocklists? #so like she literally may have just blocked me and then accused me of not wanting to ~have a conversation~ ??? #anyway anon i am gonna assume you meant only the best here and i do appreciate your info #but i dont agree that my prev statements were incorrect #bc i did not at any point accuse her of Consciously misgendering me #just that she Did #and even if i Had Never changed to they/them exclusively #what she did would still have been misgendering #maybe she does know that i didn’t change them just to spite her or whatever. i don’t know and im not really here to speculate #but i do know she has been Acting that way by making me out as some heinous person for pointing out she misgendered me #so basically dont demonize trans people for expecting u to respect them ig #anyway i hate to bring this up again but i really do not think that ignoring it will make it go away #id really prefer to just address it and get it over with