#and i just feel like she’s missing the point idk. like. AUGH i’ve lost steam of my argument

[latinokaeya-moving]

you know. i wouldnt get so privately frustrated everytime i talk with my mum abt me and my brother paying ‘rent’/helping out w food or bills once we both have full time jobs if she at least had the decency to admit she just wants to use the money to pay off her and my dads debts quicker

#x #like. it’s not like i wasn’t planning to help out once i finished uni/got a proper job #i’m not. shameless. regardless of whatever they might think of me. i am in fact aware of the concept of giving back. #but it’s just like the first time it was ever brought up i offhandedly mentioned like. an average of what i thought was a considerate amount #to give. and she was like so obviously appalled? n was like well you know if you were living on ur own you’d be paying 3/4x that right #n suggested double the amount #and i was just like. idk. like no shit it would cost a lot more to live alone #but i’m not doing that am i? i’m staying with YOU. my FAMILY #am i not paying enough with the constant assault on my mental health and well-being by being around my dad here lmao… #did i not spend all my teen years hoping desperately to leave as soon as i could bc i was so miserable #to then find some sort of stability and decide that in this climate itd be better off to stay at home #like. it upsets me bc i’m just trying to think about saving up enough for the smallest hope of a pipe dream of my brother and i buying a #house together in the future. just SOMETHING just for ourselves for a sense of security #and i’ve told this to her like don’t you think me and harry should be saving as much as we can now while we live home… #bc they’re planning to abandon us in a couple years and go back to colombia anyways lmao. so it’s not like we won’t be paying rent ourselves #by the time we’re 25 #which will make saving most of our money harder lmao #anyways she was like you’ll still be able to save a lot of ur money now! it’s not like i’m taking all ur money! #and i just feel like she’s missing the point idk. like. AUGH i’ve lost steam of my argument #but like. it’s not like they’re in a dire situation. like up until now when harry paid his first months worth of ‘rent’ they’d been managing #fine … like obviously everything is more expensive and we’re being more careful but like. it’s not some sort of emergency #she just wants us to ‘help out’ to teach us or whatever. and bc it’s right. bc they’re our parents #which. FINE like again i was never opposed to it ever i’m not an idiot or selfish i get it #but once i start working between me and harry we’ll be paying for half the rent. and we ALREADY buy groceries/food in general when we notice #there isn’t any at home #i hate feeling like i’m an awful entitled child for feeling upset abt it but i just feel like she setting us up to struggle just that Little #bit more when she leaves us alone in this country. and i’ve been stressing abt that since i knew that was their plan when i was like 12! #i don’t want her gentle little suggestions of helping out money wise to be couched in fucking. duty or responsibility to them as my parents #just ADMIT IT to me the money is going to go to paying your debts. just say it to me. it doesn’t sting as much that way. my god