#anyways she was like you’ll still be able to save a lot of ur money now! it’s not like i’m taking all ur money! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steepgan · 3 years

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someone dear (ii) - d. ragnvindr x f!reader

PART I - PART II - PART III

diluc pov... im practicing writing for this fic im writing so sorry if its BAD... also TW BL//D ..!! hmm i definitely drew inspiration from pride and prejudice while writing this LMFAOOO um <3 sry jane austen for ruining ur book >,< also i did not edit this either um.

Diluc had always known that [Name] was committed to money, if not her job. He didn’t know why. It was obviously something very personal to [Name], and he didn’t have enough time to meddle into his employee’s affairs. If he questioned her about it, she might’ve felt compelled to tell him. Or she’d request him to pay her for the secret.

He was more than willing to give [Name] a little money. She was a hard worker as well as a young woman of excellent tastes. Given her personality, he would have thought her as a bartender for Cat’s Tail—a rival of his with excellent drinks that was taking Mondstadt’s wine industry by storm. But [Name] was here, working diligently with the same old grin on her face.

There would be some days where she’d request the bard to play a somber song because she thought it was fitting for her mood. Diluc’d overheard her complaining to Charles about getting a cut on her hand from picking up shards of glass.

She worked so frequently that Angel’s Share wouldn’t be Angel’s share without her. Perhaps she’d been saving up for something big, like a trip. Diluc could see her roaming around the seven nations with no clear destination. She had a wanderer’s soul, really. If she ever left, would Diluc be able to find a replacement?

Certainly he would.

[Name] was just a worker, and it was Diluc’s duty to see to it that he had excellent employees. And if she was good and brave, then the rest of the city could be good and brave.

“Charles,” Diluc called out. The Abyss Order was still at large. Tonight he’d roam the city streets to keep the people safe. “I can take tonight’s shift for you.”

The bartender bowed graciously. Days off for him were very rare. “Thank you, Master Diluc,” he said before casting a side glance at [Name], “although have you thought about taking [Name]’s shift instead? She’s been working lots lately…”

[Name], who’d overheard them, lifted her head up from the cupboard beneath the bar she was cleaning. She hit her head on the counter and wobbled over. Scratching the crown of her head, she chuckled nervously. “Oh, I’m all right! I’d be happy to work a little extra anyway.”

Diluc furrowed his brows. It’d be better if he had the tavern to himself so his identity wouldn’t be exposed. Unfortunately, [Name] was such a good worker that she’d seen him come back into the tavern after a good fight one too many times. Firing her was out of the question because she did her job well, and it would be terrible of him to get rid of her because of his bad blood with the knights.

However, [Name] didn’t really care, which was good. He didn’t give that raise to her for nothing. Diluc said, “[Name], are you sure?”

“No worries, Master Diluc,” she said.

And then it happened to be that night where Diluc stumbled back to Angel’s Share with his arm noticeably limp and his black clothes damp with blood.

It was just [Name] sitting at the bar, flipping through a magazine of catalogs Diluc couldn’t be bothered with. His arm was searing with pain—to the point where he could feel nothing at all. Numbness. It wasn’t too bad; he’d dealt with worser injuries.

He considered himself lucky enough to find Angel’s Share in the first place, even with the lanterns lighting up the road. Diluc had to avoid all the usual patrols of the Favonius Knights.

Diluc was blinking through sweat, trying to register the bright lights of inside the tavern. Everything was so spotty and brilliant with gold explosions. He shouldn’t have decorated the inside so lavishly. [Name]’s head jolted up at the sight of him. Had she been falling asleep on the job? How unprofessional… but there were no people in here, so Diluc didn’t care.

With the decorations so shiny behind her, she looked like a fancy chandelier. Like the one at Dawn Winery. So shimmery.

[Name] rushed to Diluc’s side. “Master Diluc? Are you okay? You’re—you’re severely injured!”

“I’m fine,” he gritted out.

“You’re bleeding.”

“It’s not the end of the world, is it?” Diluc snapped. [Name] was taken aback. He sighed. “Sorry. Just leave me be. I’ll go upstairs and—”

His world started spinning. [Name] caught him.

She looked frantic. “I’m not the best at wrapping up wounds, but I know a trick or two from Lisa!” Diluc’s disdain must’ve shown because [Name] immediately added, “I know she’s a part of the knights, but healing is healing. Let’s get you to the bar.”

[Name] was probably curious. She might’ve wanted to know what Diluc was doing out at night and how he’d gotten himself injured. Diluc tugged himself away from [Name]’s grasp. “No,” he said. He could heal himself. He could handle it on his own. “I got it.”

“Let me do this,” she insisted, “temporarily.”

Diluc had always been alone. He worked on missions by himself. He protected the city of Mondstadt by himself. The Knights of Favonius were no good, really. It was up to him alone. Just Diluc. It's always been just Diluc. It was just Diluc when he left the knights, and it was just Diluc when he insisted that Inspector Eroch take his father’s death more seriously.

“I’m okay,” he said. “Leave me alone. Pretend you saw nothing.”

I’m injured, he thought. I need medical assistance. I know some medicine. No, I don’t. There’s painkillers upstairs. Yeah… painkillers upstairs.

[Name] made up her mind and grabbed Diluc’s good arm. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re very hurt. And I know you told me to leave you alone, but you look like you’re in pain. I can’t do much, but at least let me help you just for a second.”

No, I’m doing just spiffy! Diluc wanted to say. But that wouldn’t help his case. He’d gone through worse alone. An arm cut was nothing compared to his past. This wouldn’t kill him, but it hurt so, so bad. He’d live, though, and as long as Diluc had all his limbs intact by the end of the day, he’d still protect Mondstadt.

[Name] took advantage of Diluc’s internal struggle to sit him down at the bar. She ran to the back to grab supplies before coming back out. She dropped a pair of fine scissors, swore, and then picked it back up. [Name] forced Diluc’s coat off of him, tossing it aside.

Diluc had seen [Name] eye his nice coat from time to time, and he had half a mind to give it to her just for fun. But she paid no mind to it now. Blood was smeared over his arm.

“Oh, dear,” she said. “It matches the color of your hair.”

“Thanks,” he said. The pain spiked. “I don’t suppose you want financial compensation for taking care of me.”

She shook her head. [Name] is good and brave, Diluc had thought then. She snipped a certain length of a linen bandage she’d brought out from the back. “I’m still working within work hours. The usual pay is enough for me.”

Diluc had a lot to say.

“But I’m not the best at wrapping wounds,” [Name] admitted. “Promise me you’ll see a professional after this. Hopefully one of your personal assistants?”

“Okay,” he said.

“This might sting,” she warned. She dabbed a clean cloth into alcohol before wiping it gently over his arm. She held his arm gently, her cool hand keeping him steady while she cleaned away the germs and infection. Compared to the searing pain of the cut, the alcohol was nothing.

I don’t like this, Diluc thought. [Name] knows too much. I’m no longer alone. I don’t like this at all.

The night was silent, only filled with [Name] working with her limited materials to patch Diluc up. It was awkward, and the tension was as thick as burnt steak.

For his pride and for the livelihood of Mondstadt, [Name] could not know that he was protecting the city at night. She was too friendly with the knights. She talked way too much. She could accidentally spill Diluc’s secrets. This was not good.

“Have you ever thought about working at the winery itself?” Diluc proposed. If firing her wouldn’t do the trick, then maybe sending her away from the city would.

[Name] looked perplexed. “Why?”

Diluc tried to imagine [Name] as a maid at his winery, keeping the interior clean. [Name] could drag a drunkard outside no problem, but could she clean the fine, delicate decorations that made the inside of the winery so neat? Could she be happy working there? Frankly, Diluc couldn’t imagine [Name] as someone who’d enjoy working at the winery at all.

“You wouldn’t make a good maid,” he said out of the blue.

“What?” [Name] furrowed her brows. “I’d make a great maid. I’d be the best maid ever.”

“Prove it,” he said. “You should work at the winery. It’s a bit of a distance, but I could pay for your travel fare.”

“Same wage?”

“Same wage.”

[Name]’s fingers held the bandage as she began to wrap it around his arm. She worked quickly with the skill of a bartender who had plenty of customers and little time. Her touch danced over his skin, and he was fighting the rising urge to blush.

“Thank you, Master Diluc, but I’m okay. I like working here. I’d imagine it’s more fun,” she said. “If it’s the same wage, I might as well enjoy being here in the city while working.”

“You care about fun?” Diluc was surprised. Given the last six months, he thought all she cared about was small talk and money. “All right, then.”

“I can’t believe you got hurt,” she said. [Name] almost sounded mad. “It’s not so bad to ask others for help when you need it.”

You should be mad at me for other things.

“I can do things alone,” Diluc said. “I don’t exactly need anyone, really. This is just a one time thing. I could have healed myself on the second floor, but you had to interfere—”

“Master Diluc,” [Name] said, “I don’t know what failed you or who let you down, but we do need people.”

Diluc was growing cross. His ugly pride poked his chest. “I know that.”

People needed each other! It was how civilizations came about, and it was how empires fell. That was why he protected Mondstadt. That was why he prowled the streets. He did it because the people needed someone competent, and he did it because the knights would let the people down just as they did he.

People needed him.

“Dependency isn’t bad,” [Name] further added. “One day, you will find people who helped you, and you will help them in return. It’s only natural to need people, Master Diluc. We all need people. We all need company.”

“Too much dependency is—” The pain ran up his arm.

“Well, of course,” [Name] said. “Independence is a good thing, too. It’s highly sought after. Maybe being a lone wolf is exactly up your ally, Mr. Diluc, but the idea of a lone wolf is somewhat of an oxymoron. Wolves always prefer to travel in a pack.”

Do I really want to be alone all my life? Diluc thought. “I guess you’re right,” he said instead. “You have my thanks.”

“You pay me,” she pointed out cheerfully, and Diluc’s heart panged.

“[Name].” The words left his mouth before he could even think. “Why do you work so hard? Is there something you work toward?”

“Not exactly,” she said. “Being financially stable has always been a dream of mine. As well as putting enough food on the table and buying all these nice clothes.”

Diluc was surprised. “No family?”

“I do have, but they’re in Liyue as of now. We talk occasionally, but I like to live my own life how I like it.” [Name] nodded. “If I work for anything at all, I’d have to say I work for myself. I like working here, and I work because the journey is just as fun as the destination. A cozy retirement is not worth enjoying if one didn’t work hard to get there. Is there someone or something you work for, Master Diluc?”

Many gods ran through his mind. Deities upon deities. Alters upon alters.

“Mondstadt and its citizens,” Diluc responded. “The knights are the definition of inefficient. I clear up a few enemies on the streets sometimes”— he’d realized he essentially spilled his secret hobby to [Name]—“but it’s nothing big.”

“Take pride, Master Diluc,” [Name] said. Had she figured it out? Diluc felt small underneath her working fingertips. “I take it you’re a nocturnal vigilante?”

Diluc swore internally. “I suppose.”

“So did you choose the name Darknight Hero? You’re the talk of the town.”

It was good that the people were romanticizing his adventures. It gave them a sense of peace and normalcy. However, the name was absolutely atrocious. “I don’t like that name,” Diluc said.

“What do you prefer they call you, then?”

Preferably, nothing. Diluc did not do this for attention. He was supposed to be one with the shadows. But [Name] made him feel seen. He felt exposed to some terrible light.

Diluc had to remember that [Name] was an employee under him. She was one of the many citizens he had to protect. She shouldn’t be wrapping up his arm like this. Diluc should be writhing in pain alone upstairs with [Name] none the wiser.

Her touch was soft. Her fingertips barely touched the surface of his skin. Her hands were no longer cool but warm and alive. She took care of him so gently that Diluc forgot he was a weapon and felt like a cherished object.

For someone who claimed she wasn’t proficient in wound-wrapping, she did a decent temporary job. Of course, a visit to Diluc’s private doctor was still necessary.

Though her company was nice, Diluc was accustomed to flying solo.

“You must really love Mondstadt,” [Name] said. “You’re a very good man.”

Diluc opened his mouth and then closed it.

[Name] finished wrapping his wounds. The bandage was snug around his arm, and Diluc found comfort in its presence. It was far too bad someone would take it off later to properly inspect Diluc’s cut. “Well, that's about it for my medical expertise which is ultimately none.”

“Thank you,” Diluc said.

“I would advise you to return to your winery, but it’s nighttime, and there’s monsters prowling about,” [Name] said. “I don’t doubt your athletic abilities, but you’re hurt. You should maybe eat something and rest. Early in the morning you can leave.”

[Name] was in no position to tell Diluc what to do. Diluc was her employer, her—Diluc looked at the time. [Name] was technically done with work. Technically speaking, Diluc wasn’t the boss of her as of right now.

And Diluc knew that [Name] was simply offering suggestions. Good suggestions. His pride as a hero told him to refuse and make the trek back to the winery by himself. But his reason pulled him back to her.

“Would you like something to eat, Master Diluc?”

“All right.”

Soon, Diluc’s arm was noticeably better. After consulting a legitimate professional, Diluc took great care of his arm and trained it back to health. His days were moreover the same after that. He swept the city streets and night and returned to his winery every so often, as he couldn’t let sales go down while he was playing hero.

Though, what kind of hero gets injured? Diluc thought to himself bitterly.

[Name] had called him a good man; well, of course, he was. The knights were anything but good and competent. But was he a good hero? What sort of hero spat swears and curses at the knights? What sort of hero harbored a deep, festering hatred for the very institution that supposedly protected the people?

She was the only one who’d touched him like that. She touched him so softly when wrapping him up that Diluc felt more a man than a hero. It wasn’t good. Diluc needed his priorities straight. He was grateful for [Name] and for that night, and this new feeling of gratefulness was lodged in his throat.

He’d offered to financially compensate, but [Name] turned the offer down. She was weird. She salivated at the thought of money, but when Diluc put more money on the table, [Name] refused to eat.

Diluc was not used to feeling owed to anyone but himself. He had a feeling that he’d feel more gratefulness to others in the future, and that scared him. If they were as stubborn as [Name], then how would he pay them back?

Did he need to pay her back? Was it only natural for people to rely on each other? Did he always have to be alone? Could he really move forward without the feeling of solidarity?

It was all right to be alone. But it was not so bad to rely on other people once in a while.

Some days, he’d see [Name] feeding a dog leftovers through the window of his tavern. She’d be crouched over, whistling and patting the ground to get the dog’s attention. The dog would wag his tail delightfully and trot over to her. And Diluc had half a mind to warn [Name] about infection, but the dog seemed awfully fond of her.

Then there were some days where she was so happy that you could clean the tavern free of charge. While money was a prospect to her, she seemed to act on her own whims and happiness. If that happiness was to clean the tavern without pay, then she would.

She was strange. An enigma. She was the most magical a human being could get.

Diluc and Charles were once sitting at the bar while [Name] was dusting the nooks and crannies of the stairway, humming to herself.

“She ought to be happier more often.”

Charles raised a brow at Diluc’s words. Could the impassive Diluc be feeling love? “Why?”

“So she can clean my tavern for free more often.”

“Sure, Master Diluc.”

PART I - PART II - PART III

#jane austen from the dead reading this bad rendition:#diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact #fluff

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georgiaswarr · 3 years

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jimmy kaga-ricci part 3 (part 1 / part 2)

the lucky one - taylor swift

“and they tell you that you’re lucky, but you’re so confused / 'cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used / and all the young things line up to take your place // another name goes up in lights / you wonder if you’ll make it out alive //...// it was a few years later, i showed up here / and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / how you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out” this song is narrated like a sort of folk tale about an elusive star who was told by everyone around them how lucky they were, while in reality they felt far from it, so much that they ended up having enough of fame and its pains and running off. basically, a tale about jimmy piero kaga-ricci

let go - beau young prince

“sometimes i don't really know myself / devil on my back, pray for me, need help / angel in the front tryna guide my steps / who do you call when you need some help? / who do you call when you by yourself? / who do you call when you feel down low? / i just wanna scream, i just wanna explode / i, i just wanna let go” this perfectly encapsulates jimmy’s inner turmoil throughout the whole book, more or less. he’s reached a low point in his mental health, is being pushed and pulled around by various people, feels alone and just wants to run off. which, you know, he does.

the other side - alessia cara

this is a song about wanting to run away and make a better life for yourself. i like the use of “the other side” because i think of this song as jimmy literally going from one side of the window to the other. it’s the soundtrack to him climbing out of the bathroom, basically

to seattle - morningsiders

“i left my peace of mind / in the back seat of a station wagon / when you don't get what you want / that's who you are, there you have it / we were all born at the wrong time / but that's done and over / drive, please just drive / the seat-belt digs into my skin // if that was a cold goodbye / it's just because the future isn't good / i cannot tell a lie / and there's no telling if we'll make it” jimmy has left everything behind on a whim and is making his great escape

you better believe!!! -declan mckenna

religious symbolism, themes of death, what you worship not being what it’s made out to be in modern society, a station, you better believe this song has it all!!! i’m sure essays could be written comparing this to iwbft but this post is long enough already rip

angel - coco zandi

this describes how jimmy feels about angel - she’s sort of like a guiding light for him, helping him escape the hordes of fans at st pancras and escape to kent. he thinks of her as a literal angel in a way

seattle - jonah taylor

okay how many songs about north american locations even are on this playlist anyway you know how jimmy talks about his sister who’s at university in the states and doesn’t really want anything to do with him? this song is about her. on that note, i really need to find out more about her and their relationship asap

marjorie - taylor swift

*squints at my own playlist* now WHO put such a fucking sad song on you, i would like to exchange some words with them it’s,,,,,, it’s about joan

pilgrimage - bjéar

homophobically i can’t find the lyrics to this but vibes. religion. there’s an “i’ve got a whole lot of money” in there. you know the gist.

i want to break free - queen

“but i have to be sure / when i walk out that door / oh, how i want to be free, baby / oh, how i want to be free / oh, how i want to break free” that’s.... that’s jimmy :)

home - ella eyre

a song about jimmy finally making it home to piero and finally being able to relax, even though the world was breaking down around him in london

class of 2013 - mitski

another song about being back with your parental figure and the comfort that comes with it, for jimmy at least. there’s an element of smallness attached, he just wants to be curled up and be cared for like when he was a child

urs - john-robert

bicci song !! “love me sober” because i’m guessing jimmy wants lister to be clean before they can begin anything serious. this also ties in to the line “and get me higher than you would ever, you would ever, you would ever need to” “but devotion's like an ocean that's swallowing me, swallowing me whole” - here we’ve got the ever-present water motif; there’s a lot of angst and fear involved in their relationship, be that due to their mental health or the fact that they’re in a band together, etc.

goodbye yellow brick road - elton john

to quote the genius annotation, this song is one about “wanting to give up a life of opulence for a simpler life away from all the glitz and glamour“ and breaking free from that, as jimmy more or less does in the end

don’t take the money - bleachers

i made this playlist ages ago so i don’t remember every reason a song is on there but i’m assuming this is another bicci song. the lines “i slept on my own those nights / was still in my parents' house / and i cut off my t-shirt sleeves / and claim a new continent” reminds me of jimmy’s running-back-to-kent extravaganza as well

people watching - smallpools

“my momma told me / if you find some fame / don't start the cocaine // don't need an island / or a private plane / to bet to these days” another song about appreciating the simpler thing in life despite fame which i’m guessing was my logic when putting it on here. i probably just wanted an excuse to shout this absolute banger of a song out which well done, past me xx

god save our young blood - børns

finishing off with another religious symbolism song yeehaw

#this has been in my drafts half finished for litteral MONTHS but i've finally finished it !! :)#iwbft #osemanverse #jimmy kaga ricci #playlist #osemanverse playlist #alcohol mention

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atlafan · 4 years

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Hii ok u dont have to write this if it doesnt inspire u but I’ve been watching Selling Sunset on Netflix & I’ve been waiting impatiently for the 3rd season cuz it’s just so good lol but i was wondering if u could write something about rich real estate agent H? Maybe helping the MC buy her first home and they hit it off? Ur the only 1 who writes these diverse Harry’s & I can’t stop thinking about real estate H showing her expensive houses & like doing NaughtyStuff with her in an empty 1 lol xx HC

a/n: this has been in my inbox for a while and I’ve been wanting to get to it, so here it is! there is smut, but it’s more tame than you requested. Hope you still like it!

Sold

You weren’t sure how you were able to do it, but you finally had enough money for a down payment on a home. You scrimped and saved for years as best you could, you paid off the majority of your student loans, you built up your credit, and now you felt ready for this very adult step.

Your parents weren’t sure why you weren’t content with just renting. “What if you meet someone?” They’d ask you. “Then they could just move in with me, or we’d find another place. It’s an investment!” You’d reply. They had this vision in their head that you’re supposed to buy a home with a partner. It was the twenty-first century, you didn’t need anyone to help you...or so you thought.

The pre-approval process at the bank was lengthy, but thorough. They’d need to see your W2′s from two years prior, they needed to know how long you’ve been at your current job, and basically just how much money you had altogether. The mortgage specialist at the bank was very kind.

“So, you’re doing this all on your own?”

“I am.” You smile.

“Have you got real estate agent yet?”

“No.” You shrug. “You don’t really need when you’re the one buying do you? I can just call whoever’s showing the house and work with them.”

“Maybe in small towns, but in larger areas like this you’ll want a realtor, trust me. It doesn’t cost you anything either way. They can top shop, help you negotiate, all those kinds of things.”

“They also like to show you houses out of your price range.” You scoff.

“Not the honest ones. I get it, at the end of the day, they’re out there to make a quick buck, and the more the house is, the larger the cut they get. But I know a guy, he actually helped my son buy his first home. He was absolutely wonderful, and he’s a shark.” She goes through the many business cards on her desk. “Ah! Here it is, Harry Styles, he works for Greenfield Real Estate.”

You take the card from her and scan it over.

“Don’t they sell, like, really nice homes? They work with people looking for mansions.”

“Just give him a call, and tell him I sent you. You won’t regret it, trust me. Your pre-approval is only good for ninety days, so you’ll want to contact him soon.”

Your head was swimming, but you knew she had a point. Half the houses you favorited on realtor.com or zillow were sold already. It was a seller’s market for sure. Maybe you would need someone to help you negotiate...but did it have to be a man? Couldn’t you find a female realtor? You spent years becoming the strong, independent woman you came to be, and now it felt like you’d be surrendering to some stereotype.

However, after perusing on the Greenfield website, you see a picture of Harry. You bite your bottom lip, swallow some pride, and dial his number.

“Greenfield Real Estate, this is Harry.” You weren’t expecting the British accent, or the deep voice and drawl that came with it. “Hello?”

“Um, hi! Yeah, Doris at Hills Bank gave me your card...I’m a first time home buyer.” You want to smack yourself for how stupid you sound.

“Oh, I love Doris! I’ve worked with her a bunch. I actually helped her son buy his first home last year.”

“That’s what she told me.”

“Right, so, picking a realtor is sort of like dating, you wanna make sure you pick the right one. Why don’t we meet up for coffee somewhere locally so we can get to know each other a bit.”

Pushy, he was already wanting to meet you. Probably to have you sign your life away to be his client.

“Sure, we could do that.”

“Are you local? There’s a place on Bleaker Street that has great coffee.”

“Is it Monte Alto?”

“Yeah! That’s the one. When are you free?”

“I could meet you Friday during lunch my break.”

“Sounds great, I’m assuming noon?”

“Correct.”

“By the way, you didn’t tell me your name.”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Alright, Y/N, I’ll see you Friday at noon at Monte Alto.”

You take a huge breath after you hang up.

Friday rolled around, and you weren’t able to step out of the office until nearly 11:50. It would take a little more than ten minutes to get there, and you hated being late. You were happy you had at least looked up what Harry looked like so you’d be able to spot him once you were there.

Once you’re there, you see a man sitting on one of the cushioned chairs, looking out the window. It had to be him.

“Harry?”

He looks over at you and smiles. He stands up to shake your hand.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, hi, sorry I’m late, I’ve had meeting after meeting this morning. Fridays aren’t usually this busy.”

“No worries at all. Tell me, what’s your order?”

“Oh, I can get it myself. I’m gonna grab a bagel too.”

“Good idea, I’ll do the same. Now, what’ll you have?”

“Really...I can-”

“I know you can, but I invited you here, it would be rude to have you pay. Do this with all my perspective clients.”

“Well, don’t I feel special.” You say sarcastically. He chuckles softly as you both get in line.

You both order your drinks and food, and wait awkwardly for your names to be called, then you sit back down.

“Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome. So, tell me, what’s your dream home?”

“Oh god, um, nice big kitchen, I love to cook when I actually have time. A room for entertaining. I’m usually the one to host friends. Two stories, a garage, three bedrooms would be ideal, but I’ll settle for two-”

“No settling.” He smirks. “Go on.”

“Um...well, so, three bedrooms, ideally I’d like a master with an en suite, but who doesn’t?” You watch as he makes notes on a little pad of paper. “I’d like a yard, but it doesn’t need to be huge. Bonus points if there’s a deck or patio, maybe even a pool, but I can live without those things.”

“And you’re buying this just for yourself, correct? No husbands or boyfriends I need to know about?”

“You know, I could have a girlfriend.”

“Shit, I’m sorry you’re right, um-”

“Relax, I’m teasing.” You chuckle. “But to answer your question, I am doing this alone. I feel like I’m ready for a house, so I want one.”

“Thought I put my foot in my mouth for a second there. I need to learn to just say partner.” He picks up his drink to take a sip, and that’s when you notice he has perfectly manicured nails. Interesting. “So it seems like you know how to be realistic about what you want, and you also have a dream list. What about projects, do they scare you?”

“I’m good with painting or even having to put new flooring in, but I’d like to stay away from any major reno.”

“Gotcha.” He makes another note. “And what price range are we working with here?”

“Let me just make a note on my phone, I’d rather not say out loud in case someone tries to rob me.”

He smiles and nods. He squints at your screen and makes a note.

“Great, good for you. What do you do for work?”

“I’m a physician, I work at a doctor’s office not too far from here. I’ve been there for two years, and I love what I do.”

“That’s great. So, Doris talked with you about balancing a mortgage and paying down your student loans?”

“They’re mostly paid for, actually. I got a lot of scholarships for my undergrad, and during med school I was awarded a pretty decent grant.”

“Perfect.” He scribbles some more notes and then puts his pad and pen down. “What do you want to know about me?”

“How long have you been a realtor for?”

“Six years, been with Greenfield since I started.”

“What made you get into it?”

“Love seeing people happy.”

“What about when someone buys below the asking price?”

“Doesn’t happen with me, not when I’m selling anyways. However, when I’m helping someone buy a home, well, let’s just say I’m pretty good at negotiating.” He smirks. “You’d be in good hands with me, but if you wanna shop around some more I’ll understand.”

“Do you work with first time buyers a lot?”

“Sometimes, it depends. I know a lot of them like to work with me. They’re usually young, I’m young. Makes for a more relatable experience.”

“Okay.” You look outside and think for a moment. “I think I’d like to work with you.”

He smiles big at you.

“Are there any homes you’ve had in mind that you’d like to start looking at? I can definitely see what open houses are out there too. People tend to make offers fast, but don’t let that scare you. The home has to feel right, if you want it, I’ll make sure you get it.”

“There were a few I’ve seen on realtor...” You take your phone out to show him. “I’d like to not have a super long commute either if I can help it.”

“Are you looking to grow into this home or is it more of a starter space for you?” You give him a funny look. “I just mean, like, would you be open to a condo or something like that.”

“Only if it was detached and didn’t have a high HOA.”

He nods and looks at some of the other homes you had favorited.

“So what I’m gonna do is go back to my office and run a few searched. Then I’ll text you a link to the home I find, and you can tell me which ones you like. Don’t be afraid to tell me you hate them either. Then if there’s a couple you wanna see, we’ll set up a time that works for you, and then I’ll contact the other realtor, sound good?”

“Sounds great.”

You shake hands again before leaving. As you make your way back to the office, you feel relieved. You had someone you could ask questions to, and someone basically on your side. Harry was nice, a salesman at heart, but nice.

Saturday morning you get a text from Harry.

Harry Styles - Hi Y/N, it was great meeting you yesterday. Here are some places I think you might like. Let me know what you think!

You liked how formal he was. You tap the link he sent you. The first couple were duds, but there were a few on here that actually peaked your interest.

You - Could we three of the home? The bottom three on the list.

Harry Styles - Sure! When would work for you?

You - I don’t work on Mondays, so that would be easiest. Timing doesn’t matter.

Harry Styles - I’ll contact the realtors and see what we can put together.

You - Thanks so much!

You felt really excited. You wondered if maybe you should invite your parents to come look at the houses with you, but maybe you would save that for a second look through once you actually find something. A house can look much different in pictures than it does in person.

Monday morning, around 9:30, you meet Harry at the first location. His car was parked in the driveway. He gets out when he sees you pull in. He had two coffees in hand.

“Morning.” He says to you. “Got you a coffee, I remembered your order.”

“Oh! Um, thanks.” You take it from him.

“I’ve already gone in and unlocked the doors and turned the lights on. The other realtor isn’t here, which is perfectly fine. Take your time, feel free to walk around outside before heading in too.”

You smile and nod. The front was beautifully landscaped, and there was a gate leading to the backyard. He follows you out that way. You listen as he explains when the home was built and why the people were selling it. There a nice deck that had been recently put on, no pool though, but there was room for one. You go up the stairs of the deck and go in through the sliding glass door.

“Kitchen was recently renovated within the last five years. All appliances come with the place.”

“It’s beautiful.” You run your fingers over the nice granite counter tops.

As you scope out the rest of the house, you’re not as impressed as you were with it when you first walked in. The bedrooms were small, and barely had any storage. The basement wasn’t in the best condition either.

“Definitely a no, but a good first experience nonetheless.”

Harry looks down at his watch as he nods.

“Wanna follow me to the next place then?”

“Sure.”

Same thing happened at house number two and three. You just weren’t wowed. You sigh heavily as you lean against your car.

“Don’t get discouraged, Y/N. It’s better to know what you don’t like. We can keep looking. When I go into the office tomorrow I can run another search. Maybe we can look at some condos.”

“That might be good. Maybe somewhere with people my age? It would be cool to be in a little community.”

“Definitely.”

“Thanks...I hope I haven’t been a pain with the things I don’t like.”

“Not at all. This is a really big purchase, you should get what you want.”

It took three more weeks of meeting up with Harry on various days to find a place you liked. On a Saturday evening, he brought you over to a condo that was detached, had a garage, a community gym and pool. It had three bedrooms, and two and a half baths. One being an en suite for the master bedroom.The kitchen was gorgeous and flowed into a dining/living area. You were thrilled.

“Harry...” You look at him. “It’s perfect.”

“Really, you like it?”

“I love it!” You squeal and hug him without thinking. “Sorry.” You blush.

“It’s fine, it’s exciting.”

“I’d like to put an offer in. The price is rate and the HOA is reasonable. It’s not too far from work. I’d be able to entertain, the backyard is fenced in. There was even security at the gate! This is my home, I can feel it.”

“Fantastic. The paperwork can take some time. Would you wanna fill everything out over dinner?”

“Um...sure...”

“Plus, it gives you a chance to see what places nearby are like. We passed some nice restaurants on the way here.”

You follow him to a nice pizza place a couple of miles away. He bring a large packet of paper and a couple of pens in with him.

“On the way here I called the other realtor to let him know an offer was coming their way.”

“Thanks.”

You both get seated and are given some water. He takes the papers out and explains what you would need to sign, and what your offer would mean. Harry said you could definitely low ball the sellers, so you asked for about $15K less than the asking price.

“They probably won’t accept, but most people don’t on the first offer. This just gives us a good starting point.”

“And you think the six grand in closing costs is good?”

“Yeah, totally reasonable. That’ll be about half of it. Sometimes, you can get more money off after the home inspection. Once a price is settled, you’ll want to schedule that right away. I have some names of some great home inspectors.”

“Would you be there for that?”

“I would. I’m there for all of it. The other realtor will be there too.”

“Okay good. I’d feel better with you there.”

As you begin to sign the documents, a waiter comes over.

“Good evening folks, can I start you off with anything to drink?”

“I’d love a glass of rose please.” You say.

“Just a Corona for me, thanks.”

The waiter nods and leaves you be.

“Did you want to just split a pizza?” Harry asks looking down at the menu.

“Sure, what do you like? I usually just get green peppers and mushrooms.”

“Works for me. Would you mind this cauliflower crust?”

“Not at all! I prefer that, actually.”

‘Perfect.” He smiles.

When the waiter comes back, Harry orders your pizza. He watches as you finish up all the paperwork. He checks over everything to make sure you signed everything.

“I’ll get this all scanned and sent over tomorrow.”

“Do you ever take a day off?”

“Yes and no. The realtor world is funny. Sometimes I’m in the office all day and then I wont hear from a client until 8PM. I’m not helping someone buy, I’m helping someone sell. I’m always busy.”

“Sorry to take up your Saturday night...”

“No, don’t be. I’d just be home working.” He shrugs and takes a sip of his beer. “It’s your Saturday night I’m more worried about.”

“Oh please.” You laugh. “My friends know I’ve been busy with this, they understand. Besides when I showed them who you were...” You stop yourself from finishing the sentence.

“No, please, go on.” He smirks.

“They just, they saw your picture on the Greenfield website, that’s all.” You blush.

The waiter comes over with the pizza, and thankfully it breaks a bit of the tension. You each take a slice and dig in.

“This is delicious.” You say.

“Yeah, never been here before, I’ll definitely have to come back.” He takes another sip of his beer. “Once that condo is yours, I fully expect an invite to your house warming, by the way. I like to know my clients are good to go.”

“I definitely won’t be a stranger.”

When you and Harry are done, he walks you out to your car. He gives you a small hug goodbye as well. You felt like you just had a date, but there was no way you did.

After going back and forth twice, your offer was accepted. You set up a home inspection with one of the names Harry had given you. He meets you at the house when it’s time, and you’re able to meet the other realtor. A woman, who was a little too delighted to see Harry. You felt jealous when they hugged. However, he stayed close to you and took notes while the inspector was talking.

You made sure to ask a lot of questions. There were no major things that alarmed you. All of the information was just a lot to take in, and you were feeling slightly overwhelmed. You should have brought your parents, or another friend. Was Harry a friend at this point? As the inspector was putting together a full report for you, and getting your email, the other realtor was talking to Harry.

“So, I thought you were only in the selling game right now.” She smirks at him.

“Once in a while I take on a buyer.” He shrugs. “It’s good commission.”

“Yeah, thanks, can’t wait to split it with you.” She rolls her eyes. “But I do love when our paths cross.”

“Mhm.” He looks over at you and then back to the realtor. “The previous owners took great care of this place.”

“Yeah, they did. The only reason they moved is because they’re daughter had a baby and they wanted to be closer to her.”

“Ah, classic.”

“Are you doing anything later?”

“Um…well…Y/N is probably going to have questions and stuff, so I’ll probably be busy with her for a bit.”

“Okay, but, like, tonight, are you free? We could grab a drink.”

“I…”

“Harry?” You say, walking over to them. “Everything’s all set. He said I should have the radon and water tests by next week.”

“Perfect. You’ll be able to make a final decision and add anything to an addendum then.”

“It was nice to meet you.” You shake the woman’s hand.

“Same to you. Look forward to hearing from you soon.”

“Y/N, I took a lot of notes, is there anything you want to go over?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“See ya Margaret, we’ll be in touch.” He shakes her hand and leaves her standing there, shocked.

Harry walks with you outside, and you agree on a bar to meet up at. You both grab drinks and Harry goes over his notes with you. He gives you the name of a good plumber since you mentioned you’d want to update a few fixtures.

“What about a painter? Know of anyone that can help with that?”

“You don’t need to waste your money on a professional. Painting’s not that hard.” He chuckles.

“Well, I am not very skilled when it comes to that kind of stuff. Plus, I won’t really have the time to do it myself, and I’d wanna get it done before I move.”

“You could get all done in a couple of weekends no problem, you just need some friends that know how to paint.” He puts a toothpick in his mouth and fiddles with it. “I know how to paint.”

“You do?”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “Sometimes sellers need to fix up their houses quickly. I’ve come to the rescue on more than one occasion.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“I don’t make any money if I don’t. No one wants to be an ugly house.” He takes a sip of his drink. “I guess what I’m saying is, I could help you paint. You’re about to have a mortgage payment on your hands.”

“Pending the inspection report.” You smirk.

“Right.” He smiles.

“Did you offer up the same service for Doris’ son?”

“No.” He says smugly. “He already knew how to paint.”

“That other woman before, what was her name? Margaret?”

“Yeah, what about her?”

“I heard her ask you out…”

“She didn’t, she wasn’t…uh…” He scratches the back of his neck. “Sometimes we go for drinks if we end of working on the same house. Nothing more than that really.”

“So, you’re not, like, seeing her.”

“God, no. That would be a major conflict of interest.”

“Do you always go out for drinks with your clients?”

“Sometimes…I know some people have clients over to their home to do paperwork, but I didn’t think you’d feel super comfortable coming over to some guy’s house you barely know.”

“How considerate of you.” You giggle.

“Did it bother you that she asked me out tonight?”

You nearly choke on your drink.

“What? No, why, uh, why would it have bothered me?”

“Because…if someone had done the same to you in front of me I would have been bothered, but to be fair, I’m a pretty jealous guy.” He finishes his drink and orders another one.

“How many times does this happen?”

“What?”

“You hitting on your clients.”

“Is that what I’m doing?” He fake gasps. “And no, I don’t usually do this. I’m a little embarrassed, actually. Not very professional of me to have a crush on your client.” Your eyes widen and your jaw drops slightly. “Sorry, I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable.”

“No! I…I’m just a little surprised that you’re into me, is all.”

“Why? You’ve got a great career, you’re super independent, and you’re really funny.”

“How do you not already have a girlfriend?”

“I’m really busy, like, all the time. I’m able to take vacations here and there, but you see how much I work. Any time I date it doesn’t last because people don’t understand the job. You’re a doctor, you get it. You must be busy going to classes trying to stay up to date on everything.”

“I am, I’m definitely busy a lot…but I make time for friends.”

“So do I. My friends don’t get offended if I have to cancel or reschedule, or they at least don’t take it personally.”

“I get what you’re saying…dating is hard when you have a demanding job.”

“Exactly.”

“So…are you going to ask me out?”

“Can’t, not until this is all done at least. Conflict of interest.”

“Oh.”

“But when I do, are you saying you’ll say yes?”

“I guess we’ll find out when you ask, won’t we?”

Harry helped you go over the inspection report once you got it. You asked for some money towards getting the furnace serviced, and the previous owners thought it was a reasonable request. You were able to close a couple of weeks later. Typically the realtor comes to the bank with the buyer on the big day.

“Harry!” Doris squeals as she hugs him. “Great to see you.”

“Same to you.”

“Love when we get to see each other like this.”

“Same here, how’s your son?”

“Oh, he’s great. Y/N, have a seat. We have lots of things to sign.”

You sign what you need to. Doris gives you a gift bag with some wine glasses. Harry hands over a bottle of champagne to you as well. It was very exciting. You were officially a home owner.

“Thank you so much.” You shake Doris’ hand before leaving the bank.

Harry grabs your wrist once you’re both outside.

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks, I literally couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a quick hug. “My parents are gonna meet me there soon so they can check it out. I think they wanna take me out to eat to celebrate.”

“That’s great.” He clears his throat. “What, uh, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Continuing to pack.” You laugh. “But, um, I could make myself available in the evening.” You smile.

“I’m having a little pool party tomorrow. Bunch of my friends are coming over, I’d love to have you over too, if you felt comfortable.”

“That sounds amazing! Can I bring anything?”

“Just your beautiful self.”

Your parents were very impressed with your new purchase. You did well. Saturday morning you continued your packing adventure, trying to make sure you properly labeled your boxes. You needed to make sure none of your medical journals got lost.

Even though Harry had offered over and over to teach you how to paint, your parents offered to pay for a painting crew for you, just to make things go faster. Once that was done you’d be able to move. You search your dresser for a suitable bathing suit. You weren’t sure how much skin to actually show.

“Ah ha!” You find your green, strapless one-piece that had a cute cut out in the upper part of the stomach. You’re also able to find a cute cover up dress to throw on over it.

In the latter part of the afternoon, you drive over to Harry’s. You were impressed by the neighborhood he was able to live in. All of the houses were huge. When you pull up to his house you wonder what he needed such a big house for. Maybe he entertained a lot too, just like you did.

You – just pulled up!

Harry Styles - come right around back!

You walk around to where you can hear music playing and people laughing. There were plenty of people already in Harry’s large in-ground pool.

“Y/N!” Harry waves over to you.

Damn, he has a lot of tattoos. You think to yourself.

“Hi, Harry!”

He comes over to you and kisses you on the cheek without really thinking.

“Glad you could make it. Make yourself comfortable. Plenty of food, plenty of pool.” He chuckles.

Harry’s friends were really nice and welcoming, you didn’t feel too out of place. His eyes couldn’t help but scan over your body the second you took your coverup off. Turns out Harry was a master on the grill. He made sure to pay attention to while still being a good host to his friends. It was a fun party. As the night dwindled you wanted to make some sort of move.

“You know, I’ve seen your entire backyard, but I’ve yet to be given a your of your home.”

“You’d like that?”

“It’s only fair, you’ve seen mine.” You wink at him.

He leads you inside.

“Well, you’ve seen the kitchen, obviously.”

He takes you through the first floor and then leads you upstairs. He explains that he has all the extra rooms so his family has their own space for when they come to visit.

“And this is my room, but you don’t have to-“

“No, let’s see it.” You smile.

He smiles back and opens the door. Your jaw drops when you see how much space there is. There were two closets, both filled with nice clothes.

“Come check out the bathroom. I had some work done to it last year.”

“Why do you have a double vanity?”

“For guests.” He blushes. “My last girlfriend actually, she liked having her own sink. Apparently I have too many products and they can get in the way.” He clears his throat. “Anyways, I had everything redone last year. I know a great bathroom guy if you ever wanna update anything.”

“You have a guy for everything.” You giggle. “And you do have a lot of products, two sinks makes sense.” You walk out and back into the bedroom. “So…”

“So…”

“What date number would you consider this to be?”

“Legally, the first…not legally…” He grins. “Think I’ve lost track.” He steps closer to you. “My friends liked you.”

“I liked them.” You wrap your arms around his neck. “And I like you.”

“I like you too.” His hands move to your hips. “And I really like this bathing suit. Haven’t been able to take my eyes off you all day.”

You both smile and continue to make eye contact. Harry looks down at your lips and leans in. He presses his lips to yours, and you find yourself grasping at him to pull him closer. You couldn’t remember the last time you were intimate with someone, but it had definitely been too long. You were ravenous. You open your mouth him and he groans into you. You both shuffle back to the bed and fall on top of it.

“If this feels too fast, just let me know.” He breathes as you move to straddle him.

“Harry, I want you.” You cup his cheek and he moves to kiss your palm. “But, if it feels too fast for you, we can cool it.”

“I want you too, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel pressured or anything.”

“I don’t, but thank you.”

You lean down to kiss him again. His hands move to the back of your bathing suit.

“Gotta get this off you.” He grunts.

You get off him to stand up.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“Seems to be our little theme.” He smirks.

Harry stands up and takes his trunks off. Your eyes grow wide when you look down at his hard cock. He steps towards you and helps you out of your swim suit.

“I have a fun idea.” He says as he kisses down your neck. “We’ve been in the sun all day, let’s go hop in the shower.”

You smile at him and nod. He leads you into the bathroom and gets the water in the shower going. He yanks you inside and gets you under the warm water. He backs you up to the wall and press you against it. His hands roam your body as his lips find yours again.

“I’ve thought about this so many times.” He says.

“You have?”

“Mhm, there were so many times in the houses I showed you that I just wanted to take you right then and there.”

He nips at your jaw as his hands knead your breasts. You wrap your arms back around his neck. You feel his hard cock press against your hip and it makes you whimper. One of his hands slides down your stomach. He looks at you to make sure it’s alright and you nod yes.

Your head rolls back against the tile as his fingers slips between your legs. His thumb works your clit while he works two of his fingers inside you.

“Oh my god.” You gasp and grind your hips toward his hand. You reach for his length and start to pump him.

You both were panting. You have to let go of him to clutch onto his shoulders as you release around his fingers.

“Please.” You moan. “Fuck me. I have an IUD.”

Harry kisses you and hooks one of his arms under one of your legs so he can push in at a better angle. You bite down on his bottom lip, causing him to groan loudly.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He says into your ear as he thrusts in and out of you.

“You feel so good, Harry, fuck.”

He pulls out of you, turns you around, and presses back inside. His chest was flush with your back. You claw at the tile as he rocks in and out of you. One of his hands snakes around to rub your clit and the other works one of your breasts.

You feel a flood of things wash over you, but mostly it was another incredible orgasm. You could get used to this.

“Shit, I’m gonna come. Where do you want it?” He grunts.

“Inside me.”

“Jesus.” He groans and releases inside you. You moan out at the warm feeling.

“This is the softest robe in the world.”

“Glad you like it. You can wear it anytime.”

You both were cuddled up in his bed, munching on some fruit while watching TV.

“Do you have parties like this often?”

“Only when I’ve finally told a tougher home.”

“You were working with someone while working with me? How did you find the time?”

“Babe, I was working with like six other people.” He smirks.

“Doris was right, you are a shark.” You laugh.

“Gotta be able to afford this place, right?” He tucks some hair behind your ear. “You’ll stay tonight? I’m a cuddler.”

“Of course.” You giggle. “I’ll have to have you over for my next game night, you can meet all of my friends.”

“Like I said, I fully expect to be invited to your house warming.”

“That too.”

“But I’d be happy to meet your friends. Are they doctors too?”

“A couple of them are, yeah. We met in med school. Wouldn’t have made it through without them.”

You two stay up for hours, legs tangled in each other, telling each lots of things about one another. It was easy to talk to Harry, it had been since you met. He felt the same about you too. You both knew it wouldn’t be so easy to just get together. Harry’s schedule was unpredictable, and your days were long and tiring. But, neither of you really cared because you both felt like you found your person.

Harry loved game nights with your friends. He was a tad competitive, but it just made for more laughs. You both liked having your separate spaces, but you enjoyed when he could actually spend the night, or when you could spend the night at his place. Neither of you took it personally when the other was too busy or too tired either. Once you felt truly settled, you wrote Doris a thank you note for setting you up with the best realtor and the love of your life.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic #enjoy!#realtor!Harry

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cmerys-blog · 5 years

Text

( troye sivan. 21. demiboy. he/they. ) ❛ emery redd, a pisces from queensland, australia, moved into holloway three years ago. they are a med school student/intern at a vet clinic that lives in apartment 5d and their neighbors don’t particularly mind them. some say they can be passive and insecure but others say they’re intelligent and soft-hearted. anyways, one thing is for sure: you hear catastrophize by noah kahan, it’s emery blasting it.

hello friends! i’m nev ( she/her ) n i’m so excited to meet all ur characters n plot with you !! i’m bringing u a tiny soft anxious nerdy baby about whom you can read a bit below ( it’s like……….half bio half intro idk rly just bear w me im tired !! ) anyway smash a like and i’ll come @ u or hmu in my dms xo

trigger warnings for: anxiety disorder, homophobia

emery was born in the gold coast in australia with a twin brother ( winnie ) and a younger brother, both of whom managed to capture their parents’ attention more successfully than emery ever did. with winnie being a phenomenal dancer and following in their mom’s footsteps and their younger brother being the more masculine son their father had hoped for, emery grew up feeling distanced from his family and not especially important–save of course for winnie, who always went out of his way to make sure emery never felt neglected. because of this–and because of a moderate-to-severe anxiety disorder as well as burgeoning gender confusion–winnie became from a very young age emery’s life support. as children, you would never find emery anywhere that winnie was not, and when winnie was at his dance classes, emery was typically at home, either reading his animal biology books or practicing piano ( for which he had an incredible affinity, but in which neither of his parents took much interest )

he’s been obsessed with animals since he was little, used to get in trouble with his parents for bringing in birds and things from outside to try and keep them as pets, and even kept a sketchbook with him for a long time where he would draw birds he saw and then catalogue them later

when he and winnie moved to new york he immediately got a dog, whose fc is troye’s actual dog yuergiuhjsa and is emery’s best friend in the world he loves her so much. her name is galadriel from lotr but he calls her lady

when he was very young, emery had a stutter as well–he’s mostly grown out of it through a combination of aging and speech therapy, but he’ll still talk a little slower out of anticipation of messing up, and because the anxiety still exists to a large degree, he doesn’t talk a lot in general. so when he does, it’s something he very much wants to say, and he’s painstaking about trying to articulate things clearly

because he was unable to explore his gender confusion at home for fear of alienating his parents further, it was only once he and winnie moved out together that he began experimenting and learning to be more himself. you’ll typically find him in soft, oversized sweaters and a pair of jeans, and although he generally refers to himself using he/him pronouns, he’s pretty flexible

he’s a little nerdy, wears glasses most of the time unless he feels like putting in his contacts, and aside from his bird drawing and fascination with animals he spends a lot of time transcribing piano music as a hobby

he finished his undergraduate degree at nyu early and is now in his first year of med school to become a vet. he’s an intern at a vet clinic but makes very little money doing it

he got broken up with about a month ago by a bf who was cheating on him with winnie but em doesn’t know………that’s the case. so he’s still very sore about that bc it was his first bf and he’s heartbroken !!!

all in all, em is a very soft, anxious little baby with a warm heart and a great yearning to start living life in a way his anxieties have always kept him from doing

connection ideas

a close-knit group of friends, people emery can be himself around and shed a little bit of his crippling shyness

maybe?? some?? people who are not particularly nice to him?? idk bc he’s rly quiet and weak looking he’d be easy to pick on euyrafghdjs i just want angst ok

the bf! who cheated on him w winnie! i’ll make this a wc if no one takes it up ✌️

probably a boy he has a lowkey new crush on but will absolutely NOT SAY ANYTHING EVER and just admire from afar and barely be able to talk to him tbh

alternatively someone who has a crush on em but he literally has no idea

would love to have the kind of thing where?? em was friends w someone when he first moved here 3 years ago but they sort of drifted away from him eventually bc he’s literally so shy and impossible to get to go out

AND in that same vein somebody he didn’t get along w originally but has become rly close to these days for whatever reason !!

somebody who’s rly protective over him

hookups of winnie’s that em’s rly awkward w when they’re over at the apartment

somebody or somebodies who have mistaken em for winnie and tried to make a pass only to realize!! they’ve got the wrong twin

um anything angsty ok hmu to plot w any other!!! ideas!!!!!!

#hollowayintro.#whew this is messy what's up !!

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jiang-xinfei · 3 years

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Ok! Great news! Cause I finally have a backstory of jiang-xinfei which is gonna turn into wei-xinfei!

At first I thought being the daughter of wangxian or being the soul inside Stygian seal/yin iron that instead of a normal immortal that doesn't include in politics a-fei was different she turned into an immortal at the age of 18-22 and made the yin iron to sleep in/live in and that because the Yin iron was a powerful spiritual tool that xue chonghai fed resentful energy and xinfei couldn't resist it cause after all she was sealed there and put into sleep and when Stygian seal was created and destroyed although she has still his memories and all her original body turned into 10 yr old child and once the Stygian seal was purified she was able to get out and welp adopted by wangxian in the process.

But I got a better and well angstier ver! And I'm making it! 😃

So me like irl me died by accidentally falling into a pit as to why I'm there? Well I was lost on camping and that wasn't supposed to happen and "god" (heavenly officials) gave me a choice to be reincarnated as wwx older sister! And ofc I said yes cause I'm Overly obsessed by wwx story especially him and I love him(non-romantic) sooo I said yes(yes it is tgcf x mdzs au maybe even svsss idk) and since it a mistake death they gave me a chance to choose one of my belongings to become my spiritual tool and well obviously I chose the phone(in another world with my smartphone ref:)

And this is where it starts

And the process of reincarnation happens the rebirth of "insert name" and the birth of the first born child of the Weis wei-yue courtesy name xinfei and since I'm planning to at least lessen wwx burdens or entirely changing the past the moment wwx was born I spoiled and coddled him like no tmr all I did was for him and well he needed it cause in this world wwx was vulnerable towards resentment because resentment gathers towards him more than spiritual and since were a sanren blood also known as the disciples of balance it literally means everything needs to be balanced we can filter resentment to spiritual, or if were in a place theres no resentment we can filter spiritual to resentment, once the energy is slightly tilted off your life is in danger but not to much to death but slowly and wwx was overflowing of resentment and attracted resentment rather than both so he was always in bed or whenever we travelled he has to stay back or always near cangse, not allowed to walk, play around, and etc. Or he'll pass out

And when wwx was 3 and bedridden and we needed to meet the jiangs(I was 6) wwx stayed behind with only weichangze greeting and leaving right after

Before he left He was about to say that he needed to take care of wwx but I intervene and told jfm that wei-xinfei my younger sister needed father to take care of her since she was very week and was sick,I sent weichangze a wink letting him know I was kidding around(which I was in fact not) and he wanted to reprimand me but I shooed him away and cangse saw the wink and went along

So I introduced myself playfully as wei-ying courtesy wuxian 3 yrs old and a boy and since me and wwx was a splitting image with eachother like twins although I'm 3 yrs older and the same height as wwx and no i am not short wwx is just incredibly tall for his age(I'm sure in the future although I'm shorter than him I'm taller than an average girl) and not to mention I act like him only a bit calm and reserve sometimes but nonetheless I'm a splitting image of him (not that I was acting ofc it's just the fact that I'm reincarnated in the world I love and the mere fact I can lift wwx my favorite character/person his burdens up excited me to the point my hidden personality of causing mischief, pranks,curiosity, cheerful, funny, kind, caring, and self-awareness hidden by that bored lazy doesn't give 2 shits about the world persona that I built up washed away) so yes I'm a splitting image of wwx and also I kinda dressed like a boy especially like wwx does in the future like wearing black and red or anything that is black

(So jfm didn't notice anything when he came to pick wwx up later)

Anyways after all of that it was well known in the world that the youngest child of the Wei family I, Wei-xinfei is a fragile, easily sick, weak at cultivation, in near death kid. Not the genius, powerful core that is even as strong as changze(who although is weak compared to everyone but was still not strong compared to normal cultivators)who accidentally made a spiritual tool like yu ziyuans famous first class spiritual tool zidian by accident 😀in the cultivation world

Wei changze thought it was a bad idea that xinfei was known as weak and etc. But I said I like working in the shadows rather than up front and besides they'll know eventually anyways. So they left it at that and by the age of 8 weichangze and cangse sanren died

But we never went into the streets my plan was to bring us to our grandmasters mountain to train there but me and wwx always ends up late everytime we went there since the entrance of baoshan sanren was at random times it was almost impossible to know where it will open up if not for my phone so since we were always late and since I made/saved upmoney before our parents died with the help of my beautifully crafted toys and accessories we were able to meet ends meet for a year but that it our savings was dried so I made accessories that gives a lot of money and toys to sell to the shops loads of them at the same time thought wwx about balance and selfishness derailed him with it including some selfesness but always reminded him to put himself first before everyone else.

At the 3rd yr (wwx 8 Wei xinfei 11)And the entrance to the spirit mountain was opened at burial Mounds since we we were technically not harmed by resentment we can and also pay respects to our family we can go in with this no problem.

Unfortunately we were too late...

So we came back at the foot of the mountain sold a bunch of the accessories , charms, and toys and stayed for 3 days we sent off our journey we were at the outskirts of yiling when wwx was hit with a concerning fever

And we stopped by a near river to rest and attend to wwx . I left him behind a tree because he can't play in the water when his sick when a dog came and wwx was scared with dogs so he ran away from there with a fever and stopped and he was lost in yilling his head panging he stopped at an alleyway with no dogs and laid down.

While in xinfeis pov she searched for him frantically using whatever she could find with the family navigator it was a fire that glows in ur sub conscious mind to navigate ur blooded family or ur adopted ones although it has its downside if ur balanced just right yin and yang energys u can pinpoint exactly where they are or are they alive while if ur not and ur not balanced and filled with resentment yes u can be assured that the other person is alive the problem is ur sense of direction is clouded because after all resentment is everywhere it can pinpoint a general direction but it was troublesome if ur in a place filled with nothing but resentment while having more spiritual in ur body and not balanced with resentment u can only know there alive nothing is else nothing more there personification is gone in the world to put it simply there spirits and cannot be found though you'll know there very very much alive but that it.

And well yilling is so full of resentment especially with burial Mounds the direction was clouded and the more time went bye I could feel the lost of direction slowly out of earth. Meaning wwx was unconsciously filtering resentment to spiritual energy and his presence was slowly fading in xinfeis mind only seeing the flame brighten more and more. And looked and looked for him but he was never found. Something was getting in between them so they could never meet someone who-no it doesn't want them to meet and it's working it was always there even before like a reminder of what will happen and I just ignored it thinking it was nothing until our parents died it slowly shifted into a warning saying he couldn't stop what will happen and that it was hopeless but he still ignored it now... Now that small warning turned into a threat a threat saying that everything that had happened before will happen again but 100+ worse to both of them. She couldn't ignore it anymore but she couldn't stop it from growing too because she was too weak she can't handle this, this is a new dangerous being that once it's ready it will hunt both of them down growing and waiting in the shadows wanting to use there life, and suffering for amusement. And she hates it. She hates feeling useless but she can't help it.

And since then 3 yrs had passed since xinfei was now 14 and he still couldn't find her little brother she gave up everything about going to their grandmaster learned cultivation herself both resentment and spiritual and kept looking for him she already went to yunmeng but he wasn't there gusu, nie, lan, Jin anywhere he wasn't there or more specifically the thing his wwx his yingying from her... The only thing that she's still grabbing the hope too is the flame that was stronger than ever but thats it.

At the fourth year she came back to yilling just one chance and goes to the alleyway wwx was going to be picked up by yunmeng but... He wasn't there... Nothing was there... No life that indicated someone was living there... She... She changed the past... Again... And she didn't have any control of it... And it scared her... That somehow her existence here made everything worse... That somehow she was at fault... And that broke her she cried and cried in that alleyway didn't acre what the people looks sent to her. She just cried and cried.. .

And then a hand reached out to her.

It was the one and only legendary baoshan sanren the mother of her mom, her other family that is alive and well aside a-ying, her grand master, there grandmother...

Lol I might make another one but I'm really sleepy and shit I'll just finish this later as a head canon style or prompt style idc anyways bye!

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pmcurtis · 7 years

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Yah hi ik u dont know me but i rlly love ur blog! Im so excited to even be writing u this. Can i get something about like being left at the alter and the guy of Your choice comforting you? Its happened to me before and i would love to get the comfort and love from a fictional character that i never got in real life ;]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#sodapopcurits

6 notes · View notes

virmillion · 4 years

Text

//ignore me, warning for long post ahead

future lab: it’s questions tiiiime!! get out ur pen and paper bitch we got a Book To Write

Do people have glasses in this universe? if so, who makes them? are they coveted or free? cool or frowned upon? can you sidestep the necessity with magic? do people think those that need glasses are smarter (like, they study so much their eyes go bad)? do glasses look the same as ours? are there contacts? bifocals? sunglasses? are they stylish and designer or purely functional? are they even called glasses? Maybe there are no glasses. would people with poor vision just be screwed? would they again be able to solve it with magic? do some people think repairing their vision is unnatural re: boomers against tattoos and multiple piercings? are there optometrists in this universe? is it a tough position to get? to keep? are there too many or not enough optometrists?

What’s the travel like? does everyone go everywhere on foot? horseback? alternative bikes? are there cars and buggies? landboats™️? do people go skiing in winter? snowboarding? skateboarding (not winter specific)? are there special Travel Songs to pass the time faster (re: the song that goes on forever, 99 bottles of [ale] on the wall)? can you pay extra money for a long distance piggy back ride?

What do people do for fun? do people read? draw? write? paint? sing? dance? are these coveted ‘“skills”’ or just things people Do? are some hobbies considered more uninteresting/unfulfilling than others? does cooking count as a hobby or a necessity? how does the outward appearance/physical task of doing these differ in this universe? is it an art form to draw in mud and sand because it’s impermanent?**

**i actually like this one, and once you hit culture, i would like if you would have a holiday around impermanence, or temporariness, or something like that, where the celebration is to Do Art in the sand and the dirt and the mud (perhaps scheduled for the day before what is expected to be the seventh rainfall of the year or something significant like that), and people do art in all different ways of all different things - you would need to work out if this carries across all races or is (for example) human-specific. i like worldwide better, because it’s easier, but that’s boring, so it might be cute if it’s just humans (shortest general lifespan, so of course they’ll be more aware of how temporary they are), and the other races don’t really get it or care because their time is less fleeting. you would then be able to have pascal adamant about celebrating it but NOT forcing it on the others (read: the pervasiveness of xmas on modern culture and media), and maybe jancaryn participates in a different way, and she and pascal explain it to the others, and while t and s don’t see the point, isaac (half elf half human) is down and willing to pay attention and learn for the sake of learning. the significance of What is drawn in the mud/sand/dirt can also come into play, like either they draw things that ARE temporary (money, food, objects basically) to remind themselves that it will all go away eventually, or things that are LESS temporary, more abstract and intangible (so loved ones, warm hearts and full tables, that sort of thing). i like the meaning behind the second one better, and obviously you’ll flesh it out more later, but it could be cute if they explain it to isaac while s and t are off on their own adventure (after making it abundantly clear that they aren’t disrespecting p and j’s culture by doing so), and then isaac draws all their faces super cartoony (think sok/ka drawing the gang in ava//tar, really poorly drawn), and pascal’s face just Lights On Fire, and jancaryn goes ‘honey no that’s, that’s not quite—never mind, you interpret it how you think best.’ obviously room to grow, things to fix up, but i really like this as a holiday. you do of course have to think up HOW this holiday came about, gained significance and notoriety, but the end result is really cute and endearing i think (make sure you aren’t belittling any existing religions or cultures in the process though)

how’s the food? what’s the significance of it? are there any dishes saved solely for celebrations/specific occasions? why? what are the common foods to each region/race? how do these clash, especially within the main squad? say jancaryn is vegetarian, would this butt up against, say, sixer’s ideals and core foods? is this a point of tension that whoever is involved has to work through? are there culture/race-specific foods that Taste Like Home? are there staple dishes for regions? does pascal miss out on this because of Obvious Reasons? does pascal get confused when eating a Human Celebration Staple because it tastes so familiar, and jancaryn has to gently explain to him the significance of the food to their culture? does this lead to jancaryn giving him a crash course in all things Human™️? does pascal try not to feel hurt/guilty that he doesn’t already know all these things? does he think he’s failing his own culture for the same reasons? does he try to avoid learning about his culture because Backstory Reasons, he doesn’t think he deserves to participate because he wasn’t raised as part of That Culture? does he hesitate to call it His Culture?

how do cultures in general clash among the squad? i mean, you’ve got a [tabaxi] ghost, two humans, a dragonborn, and a half elf, so obviously there’ll be some cultural differences, so how carefully do they need to step around each other? work out if there’s any history of conflict between, say, half elves and tabaxi, and whether that will become evident in their interactions - maybe the half elves were the antagonists, so isaac feels bad and is constantly deferring to tanra’s opinions and decisions, which annoys tanra to no end because they just want to move past it, or something like that - there’s a lot of ways to do this sort of conflict, but make sure you tread carefully, because there’s also a lot of ways to Mess Up this sort of conflict and come across as offensive

obviously humans need food water shelter air, but how does this change for the other races? what are their priorities? preferences? are any of them traditionally nocturnal? this is gonna be a little different in tanra’s case, but you should still work it out - even though they’re a ghost, habits are hard to break, so maybe they still instinctually look for a below ground cave or thicket of bushes when bunkering down for the night (for example, just broadly thinking of what a tabaxi might do). specifically, for tanra at least, you’re gonna want to figure out a [tabaxi]’s habits and preferences, then filter that through the lens of Technically Tanra Doesn’t Really Have To Worry About That Anymore

more on tanra, but ghosts are normally expected to have a way to Move On To The Next World or whatever in a lot of fiction. is tanra trying to move on? do they HAVE to? do they even want to? do they know that’s an option? do the others know it’s an option? if it is, what are the requirements? presumably it won’t be possible for them to Come Back to this plane once they move on, is everyone aware of that? since they’re functionally already dead, would them Moving On at the end be like a sort of character death? would that then be a mockery of a non-binary character? that is, pascal is trans and jancaryn is also non-binary and they’re both human, but does that make it okay to ‘kill off’ (so to speak) one of the main non-binary characters? the ratio left behind would be 1 trans dude, 1 non-binary girl, 1 [unstated] girl, and 1 [unstated] boy, but that’s still a Yikes to be killing a non-binary character - you could switch tanra to be Not non-binary, or maybe Everybody is non-cis, but this in general is a rough and rocky situation to deal with, so definitely get Multiple Trustworthy Opinions before you go around destroying everything (not to mention that like. you really don’t Have To have tanra move on. they could meet all the requirements and you build up to what should be a tearful goodbye and they’re like ‘wtf y’all i’m not moving on’ and everyone is just ‘??’ and tanra goes ‘my parents left me to die in a castle, everyone i know has presumably been dead for [thousands??] of years, i’m closer with you four than i ever was with any of them, so why would i go be permanently dead and unhappy over there when i can be kind of unalive not dead and considerably happy over here?’ situation. i don’t know. we’ll get there later, obviously it needs some work, but i kind of actually really like that chunk you just spat. so.)

sixer. my gORL. she doesn’t have enough exposition yet for obvious reasons but i feel lonely for her so sixer here’s a paragraph for u bb i lov u. work out the appearance and attitude. her motif is red, her season is fall, her whole deal is obviously fire, so does she like that or hate it? is it a stereotype to be a fiery dragonborn? does she try to rebel against it, try to immerse herself in water and get frustrated when it evaporates? what’s her deal with pascal and their kinda sorta antagonistic vibes with each other vis-a-vis the tavern scene in j’s town? is that an arc that needs to be resolved or just bad writing? an arc would be better, because you’ve kind of had her go stiff since finding out pascal is trans, but that’s bullshit because you deleted transphobia in this world (and pascal isn’t supposed to have told anyone besides isaac anyway so. go back and fix that lmao). maybe they butt up against each other just by virtue of their personalities, which i think you did really well demonstrating in the castle basement, like that whole scene just completely nailed their whole dynamic in one go which i LOVE. you need to do more of that, have them both kind of pushing back against each other, and at the beginning it’s maybe a little more on the antagonistic side, until it grows to a head and they’re forced to confront their issues with each other (and uh lab this is Your Job to figure out what those issues even are, especially before you go tying them in to this whole situation). from their it can be a sort of decrease down into still pushing back on each other, but now it’s more like friendly competition (and maybe more Serious Competition than isaac would prefer but at least they aren’t at each other’s throats anymore... much), so they’re making each other better in the process, and you still get to have that sort of clash between them the whole way through (this meaning that part of sixer’s arc and part of pascal’s arc coincide, since they both grow from and around this situation, so you NEED to make sure you resolve this if you end up including it)

#long post #long post tw #usk #usk talkativity #usk logistics #usk disaster gays #usk pascal #usk isaac #usk jancaryn #usk tanra #usk sixer #wow this got. Long #damnb #guess we just got a lot to say

0 notes

child-of-azrael · 7 years

Note

why?? did you come back??? get tf offline and take ur stuff with you??

According to all known laws

of aviation,

there is no way a bee

should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get

its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care

what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!

Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry?

- Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening?

- I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father

paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz.

- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

- Bye!

Barry, I told you,

stop flying in the house!

- Hey, Adam.

- Hey, Barry.

- Is that fuzz gel?

- A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school,

three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took

a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

- Hi, Barry.

- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

- Hear about Frankie?

- Yeah.

- You going to the funeral?

- No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows,

sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

I guess he could have

just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating

an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...

under the circumstances.

- Well, Adam, today we are men.

- We are!

- Bee-men.

- Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive Oity

graduating class of...

...9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career

at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas

inside the tram at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like?

- A little scary.

Welcome to Honex,

a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee,

have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you

can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen

Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,

scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive

golden glow you know as...

Honey!

- That girl was hot.

- She's my cousin!

- She is?

- Yes, we're all cousins.

- Right. You're right.

- At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect

of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing

a new helmet technology.

- What do you think he makes?

- Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement,

the Krelman.

- What does that do?

- Oatches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are

small ones. But bees know

that every small job,

if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully

because you'll stay in the job

you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life?

I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees,

as a species, haven't had one day off

in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have

to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they

never have told us that?

Why would you question anything?

We're bees.

We're the most perfectly

functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know

what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate.

Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

- Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like

outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

- Hey, Jocks!

- Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

- I wonder where they were.

- I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows

where, doing who knows what.

You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen

Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen

than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.

Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it

and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

- Oouple of Hive Harrys.

- Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous

being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me

against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat,

and with the other, he was slapping me!

- Oh, my!

- I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today,

wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch

six miles from here tomorrow.

- Six miles, huh?

- Barry!

A puddle jump for us,

but maybe you're not up for it.

- Maybe I am.

- You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?

Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends

on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

- Well, there's a lot of choices.

- But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored

doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just

move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad,

the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field

just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what,

making balloon animals?

That's a bad job

for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure

he wants to go into honey!

- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

- I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going

into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

- You're gonna be a stirrer?

- No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.

Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get

a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

- We're starting work today!

- Today's the day.

Oome on! All the good jobs

will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,

stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

- Is it still available?

- Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Oongratulations!

Step to the side.

- What'd you get?

- Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Oouple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

- You want to go first?

- No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open,

not for the reason you think.

- Any chance of getting the Krelman?

- Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See?

He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up.

Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling,

stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven,

lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what

do you think I should... Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch

in quadrant nine...

What happened to you?

Where are you?

- I'm going out.

- Out? Out where?

- Out there.

- Oh, no!

I have to, before I go

to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave,

there's a Korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

- Look at that.

- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

- Thank you.

- OK.

You got a rain advisory today,

and as you all know,

bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always,

watch your brooms,

hockey sticks, dogs,

birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports

of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it,

babbling like a cicada!

- That's awful.

- And a reminder for you rookies,

bee law number one,

absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,

buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

- Antennae, check.

- Nectar pack, check.

- Wings, check.

- Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias,

you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader.

We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.

It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

- Ever see pollination up close?

- No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it

over here. Maybe a dash over there,

a pinch on that one.

See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more

flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Oool.

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.

Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

Oopy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers

seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting

a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good.

Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Ohemical-y.

Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Oandy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

- Guys!

- This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Ooming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don't think these are flowers.

- Should we tell him?

- I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey,

because you're about to eat it!

Yowser!

Gross.

There's a bee in the car!

- Do something!

- I'm driving!

- Hi, bee.

- He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don't move,

he won't sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow... the tension level

out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Oan't fly in rain.

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

Ken, could you close

the window please?

Ken, could you close

the window please?

Oheck out my new resume.

I made it into a fold-out brochure.

You see? Folds out.

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

What was that?

Maybe this time. This time. This time.

This time! This time! This...

Drapes!

That is diabolical.

It's fantastic. It's got all my special

skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What's number one? Star Wars?

Nah, I don't go for that...

...kind of stuff.

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.

They're out of their minds.

When I leave a job interview, they're

flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

I don't remember the sun

having a big 75 on it.

I predicted global warming.

I could feel it getting hotter.

At first I thought it was just me.

Wait! Stop! Bee!

Stand back. These are winter boots.

Wait!

Don't kill him!

You know I'm allergic to them!

This thing could kill me!

Why does his life have

less value than yours?

Why does his life have any less value

than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You

don't know what he's capable of feeling.

My brochure!

There you go, little guy.

I'm not scared of him.

It's an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

My whole face could puff up.

Make it one of your special skills.

Knocking someone out

is also a special skill.

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?

- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

- You could put carob chips on there.

- Bye.

- Supposed to be less calories.

- Bye.

I gotta say something.

She saved my life.

I gotta say something.

All right, here it goes.

Nah.

What would I say?

I could really get in trouble.

It's a bee law.

You're not supposed to talk to a human.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I've got to.

Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!

No. Yes. No.

Do it. I can't.

How should I start it?

"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

Hi!

I'm sorry.

- You're talking.

- Yes, I know.

You're talking!

I'm so sorry.

No, it's OK. It's fine.

I know I'm dreaming.

But I don't recall going to bed.

Well, I'm sure this

is very disconcerting.

This is a bit of a surprise to me.

I mean, you're a bee!

I am. And I'm not supposed

to be doing this,

but they were all trying to kill me.

And if it wasn't for you...

I had to thank you.

It's just how I was raised.

That was a little weird.

- I'm talking with a bee.

- Yeah.

I'm talking to a bee.

And the bee is talking to me!

I just want to say I'm grateful.

I'll leave now.

- Wait! How did you learn to do that?

- What?

The talking thing.

Same way you did, I guess.

"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

- That's very funny.

- Yeah.

Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,

we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

Anyway...

Oan I...

...get you something?

- Like what?

I don't know. I mean...

I don't know. Ooffee?

I don't want to put you out.

It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

- It's just coffee.

- I hate to impose.

- Don't be ridiculous!

- Actually, I would love a cup.

Hey, you want rum cake?

- I shouldn't.

- Have some.

- No, I can't.

- Oome on!

I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

- Where?

- These stripes don't help.

You look great!

I don't know if you know

anything about fashion.

Are you all right?

No.

He's making the tie in the cab

as they're flying up Madison.

He finally gets there.

He runs up the steps into the church.

The wedding is on.

And he says, "Watermelon?

I thought you said Guatemalan.

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

Is that a bee joke?

That's the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different.

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

About work? I don't know.

I want to do my part for the hive,

but I can't do it the way they want.

I know how you feel.

- You do?

- Sure.

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or

a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

- Really?

- My only interest is flowers.

Our new queen was just elected

with that same campaign slogan.

Anyway, if you look...

There's my hive right there. See it?

You're in Sheep Meadow!

Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

No way! I know that area.

I lost a toe ring there once.

- Why do girls put rings on their toes?

- Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee.

- Maybe I'll try that.

- You all right, ma'am?

- Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!

Anyway, this has been great.

Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it's no trouble.

Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,

I'd be up the rest of my life.

Are you...?

Oan I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

- Thanks!

- Yeah.

All right. Well, then...

I guess I'll see you around.

Or not.

OK, Barry.

And thank you

so much again... for before.

Oh, that? That was nothing.

Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.

We may as well try it.

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

- Sounds amazing.

- It was amazing!

It was the scariest,

happiest moment of my life.

Humans! I can't believe

you were with humans!

Giant, scary humans!

What were they like?

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

They eat crazy giant things.

They drive crazy.

- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?

- Some of them. But some of them don't.

- How'd you get back?

- Poodle.

You did it, and I'm glad. You saw

whatever you wanted to see.

You had your "experience." Now you

can pick out yourjob and be normal.

- Well...

- Well?

Well, I met someone.

You did? Was she Bee-ish?

- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!

- No, no, no, not a wasp.

- Spider?

- I'm not attracted to spiders.

I know it's the hottest thing,

with the eight legs and all.

I can't get by that face.

So who is she?

She's... human.

No, no. That's a bee law.

You wouldn't break a bee law.

- Her name's Vanessa.

- Oh, boy.

She's so nice. And she's a florist!

Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

We're not dating.

You're flying outside the hive, talking

to humans that attack our homes

with power washers and M-80s!

One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life!

And she understands me.

This is over!

Eat this.

This is not over! What was that?

- They call it a crumb.

- It was so stingin' stripey!

And that's not what they eat.

That's what falls off what they eat!

- You know what a Oinnabon is?

- No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.

They heat it up...

Sit down!

...really hot!

- Listen to me!

We are not them! We're us.

There's us and there's them!

Yes, but who can deny

the heart that is yearning?

There's no yearning.

Stop yearning. Listen to me!

You have got to start thinking bee,

my friend. Thinking bee!

- Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

There he is. He's in the pool.

You know what your problem is, Barry?

I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on?

It's been three days!

Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions

to think about.

What life? You have no life!

You have no job. You're barely a bee!

Would it kill you

to make a little honey?

Barry, come out.

Your father's talking to you.

Martin, would you talk to him?

Barry, I'm talking to you!

You coming?

Got everything?

All set!

Go ahead. I'll catch up.

Don't be too long.

Watch this!

Vanessa!

- We're still here.

- I told you not to yell at him.

He doesn't respond to yelling!

- Then why yell at me?

- Because you don't listen!

I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.

- Where are you going?

- I'm meeting a friend.

A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

Bye.

I just hope she's Bee-ish.

They have a huge parade

of flowers every year in Pasadena?

To be in the Tournament of Roses,

that's every florist's dream!

Up on a float, surrounded

by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses

compete in athletic events?

No. All right, I've got one.

How come you don't fly everywhere?

It's exhausting. Why don't you

run everywhere? It's faster.

Yeah, OK, I see, I see.

All right, your turn.

TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?

That's insane!

You don't have that?

We have Hivo, but it's a disease.

It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Oh, my.

Dumb bees!

You must want to sting all those jerks.

We try not to sting.

It's usually fatal for us.

So you have to watch your temper.

Very carefully.

You kick a wall, take a walk,

write an angry letter and throw it out.

Work through it like any emotion:

Anger, jealousy, lust.

Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

Yeah.

- What is wrong with you?!

- It's a bug.

He's not bothering anybody.

Get out of here, you creep!

What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

Yeah, it was. How did you know?

It felt like about 10 pages.

Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

You've really got that

down to a science.

- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.

- I'll bet.

What in the name

of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here?

Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,

Ray Liotta Private Select?

- Is he that actor?

- I never heard of him.

- Why is this here?

- For people. We eat it.

You don't have

enough food of your own?

- Well, yes.

- How do you get it?

- Bees make it.

- I know who makes it!

And it's hard to make it!

There's heating, cooling, stirring.

You need a whole Krelman thing!

- It's organic.

- It's our-ganic!

It's just honey, Barry.

Just what?!

Bees don't know about this!

This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

You've taken our homes, schools,

hospitals! This is all we have!

And it's on sale?!

I'm getting to the bottom of this.

I'm getting to the bottom

of all of this!

Hey, Hector.

- You almost done?

- Almost.

He is here. I sense it.

Well, I guess I'll go home now

and just leave this nice honey out,

with no one around.

You're busted, box boy!

I knew I heard something.

So you can talk!

I can talk.

And now you'll start talking!

Where you getting the sweet stuff?

Who's your supplier?

I don't understand.

I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want

to do is upset bees!

You're too late! It's ours now!

You, sir, have crossed

the wrong sword!

You, sir, will be lunch

for my iguana, Ignacio!

Where is the honey coming from?

Tell me where!

Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

Orazy person!

What horrible thing has happened here?

These faces, they never knew

what hit them. And now

they're on the road to nowhere!

Just keep still.

What? You're not dead?

Do I look dead? They will wipe anything

that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms.

I am onto something huge here.

I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,

crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

I'm going to Tacoma.

- And you?

- He really is dead.

All right.

Uh-oh!

- What is that?!

- Oh, no!

- A wiper! Triple blade!

- Triple blade?

Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

Why does everything have

to be so doggone clean?!

How much do you people need to see?!

Open your eyes!

Stick your head out the window!

From NPR News in Washington,

I'm Oarl Kasell.

But don't kill no more bugs!

- Bee!

- Moose blood guy!!

- You hear something?

- Like what?

Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.

Whassup, bee boy?

Hey, Blood.

Just a row of honey jars,

as far as the eye could see.

Wow!

I assume wherever this truck goes

is where they're getting it.

I mean, that honey's ours.

- Bees hang tight.

- We're all jammed in.

It's a close community.

Not us, man. We on our own.

Every mosquito on his own.

- What if you get in trouble?

- You a mosquito, you in trouble.

Nobody likes us. They just smack.

See a mosquito, smack, smack!

At least you're out in the world.

You must meet girls.

Mosquito girls try to trade up,

get with a moth, dragonfly.

Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

You got to be kidding me!

Mooseblood's about to leave

the building! So long, bee!

- Hey, guys!

- Mooseblood!

I knew I'd catch y'all down here.

Did you bring your crazy straw?

We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,

and it's pretty much pure profit.

What is this place?

A bee's got a brain

the size of a pinhead.

They are pinheads!

Pinhead.

- Oheck out the new smoker.

- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.

The Thomas 3000!

Smoker?

Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.

Twice the nicotine, all the tar.

A couple breaths of this

knocks them right out.

They make the honey,

and we make the money.

"They make the honey,

and we make the money"?

Oh, my!

What's going on? Are you OK?

Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

Do you know you're

in a fake hive with fake walls?

Our queen was moved here.

We had no choice.

This is your queen?

That's a man in women's clothes!

That's a drag queen!

What is this?

Oh, no!

There's hundreds of them!

Bee honey.

Our honey is being brazenly stolen

on a massive scale!

This is worse than anything bears

have done! I intend to do something.

Oh, Barry, stop.

Who told you humans are taking

our honey? That's a rumor.

Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory.

These are obviously doctored photos.

How did you get mixed up in this?

He's been talking to humans.

- What?

- Talking to humans?!

He has a human girlfriend.

And they make out!

Make out? Barry!

We do not.

- You wish you could.

- Whose side are you on?

The bees!

I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.

Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

Barry, this is what you want

to do with your life?

I want to do it for all our lives.

Nobody works harder than bees!

Dad, I remember you

coming home so overworked

your hands were still stirring.

You couldn't stop.

I remember that.

What right do they have to our honey?

We live on two cups a year. They put it

in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

Sting them where it really hurts.

In the face! The eye!

- That would hurt.

- No.

Up the nose? That's a killer.

There's only one place you can sting

the humans, one place where it matters.

Hive at Five, the hive's only

full-hour action news source.

No more bee beards!

With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

Weather with Storm Stinger.

Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Ohung.

- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.

- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

intends to sue the human race

for stealing our honey,

packaging it and profiting

from it illegally!

Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

we'll have three former queens here in

our studio, discussing their new book,

Olassy Ladies,

out this week on Hexagon.

Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

Did you ever think, "I'm a kid

from the hive. I can't do this"?

Bees have never been afraid

to change the world.

What about Bee Oolumbus?

Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

We were thinking

of stickball or candy stores.

How old are you?

The bee community

is supporting you in this case,

which will be the trial

of the bee century.

You know, they have a Larry King

in the human world too.

It's a common name. Next week...

He looks like you and has a show

and suspenders and colored dots...

Next week...

Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the

guest even though you just heard 'em.

Bear Week next week!

They're scary, hairy and here live.

Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,

squinty eyes, very Jewish.

In tennis, you attack

at the point of weakness!

It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

Honey, her backhand's a joke!

I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

Quiet, please.

Actual work going on here.

- Is that that same bee?

- Yes, it is!

I'm helping him sue the human race.

- Hello.

- Hello, bee.

This is Ken.

Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size

ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

Why does he talk again?

Listen, you better go

'cause we're really busy working.

But it's our yogurt night!

Bye-bye.

Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing.

You two have been at this for hours!

Yes, and Adam here

has been a huge help.

- Frosting...

- How many sugars?

Just one. I try not

to use the competition.

So why are you helping me?

Bees have good qualities.

And it takes my mind off the shop.

Instead of flowers, people

are giving balloon bouquets now.

Those are great, if you're three.

And artificial flowers.

- Oh, those just get me psychotic!

- Yeah, me too.

Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!

Nothing worse

than a daffodil that's had work done.

Maybe this could make up

for it a little bit.

- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.

- I guess.

You sure you want to go through with it?

Am I sure? When I'm done with

the humans, they won't be able

to say, "Honey, I'm home,"

without paying a royalty!

It's an incredible scene

here in downtown Manhattan,

where the world anxiously waits,

because for the first time in history,

we will hear for ourselves

if a honeybee can actually speak.

What have we gotten into here, Barry?

It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans

don't work during the day.

You think billion-dollar multinational

food companies have good lawyers?

Everybody needs to stay

behind the barricade.

- What's the matter?

- I don't know, I just got a chill.

Well, if it isn't the bee team.

You boys work on this?

All rise! The Honorable

Judge Bumbleton presiding.

All right. Oase number 4475,

Superior Oourt of New York,

Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

is now in session.

Mr. Montgomery, you're representing

the five food companies collectively?

A privilege.

Mr. Benson... you're representing

all the bees of the world?

I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,

we're ready to proceed.

Mr. Montgomery,

your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

my grandmother was a simple woman.

Born on a farm, she believed

it was man's divine right

to benefit from the bounty

of nature God put before us.

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world

Mr. Benson imagines,

just think of what would it mean.

I would have to negotiate

with the silkworm

for the elastic in my britches!

Talking bee!

How do we know this isn't some sort of

holographic motion-picture-capture

Hollywood wizardry?

They could be using laser beams!

Robotics! Ventriloquism!

Oloning! For all we know,

he could be on steroids!

Mr. Benson?

Ladies and gentlemen,

there's no trickery here.

I'm just an ordinary bee.

Honey's pretty important to me.

It's important to all bees.

We invented it!

We make it. And we protect it

with our lives.

Unfortunately, there are

some people in this room

who think they can take it from us

'cause we're the little guys!

I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

you'll see how, by taking our honey,

you not only take everything we have

but everything we are!

I wish he'd dress like that

all the time. So nice!

Oall your first witness.

So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden

of Honey Farms, big company you have.

I suppose so.

I see you also own

Honeyburton and Honron!

Yes, they provide beekeepers

for our farms.

Beekeeper. I find that

to be a very disturbing term.

I don't imagine you employ

any bee-free-ers, do you?

- No.

- I couldn't hear you.

- No.

Because you don't free bees.

You keep bees. Not only that,

it seems you thought a bear would be

an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures.

Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

You mean like this?

Bears kill bees!

How'd you like his head crashing

through your living room?!

Biting into your couch!

Spitting out your throw pillows!

OK, that's enough. Take him away.

So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.

Your name intrigues me.

- Where have I heard it before?

- I was with a band called The Police.

But you've never been

a police officer, have you?

No, I haven't.

No, you haven't. And so here

we have yet another example

of bee culture casually

stolen by a human

for nothing more than

a prance-about stage name.

Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

Because I'm feeling

a little stung, Sting.

Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

That's not his real name?! You idiots!

Mr. Liotta, first,

belated congratulations on

your Emmy win for a guest spot

on ER in 2005.

Thank you. Thank you.

I see from your resume

that you're devilishly handsome

with a churning inner turmoil

that's ready to blow.

I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

Not yet it isn't. But is this

what it's come to for you?

Exploiting tiny, helpless bees

so you don't

have to rehearse

your part and learn your lines, sir?

Watch it, Benson!

I could blow right now!

This isn't a goodfella.

This is a badfella!

Why doesn't someone just step on

this creep, and we can all go home?!

- Order in this court!

- You're all thinking it!

Order! Order, I say!

- Say it!

- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

I think it was awfully nice

of that bear to pitch in like that.

I think the jury's on our side.

Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.

Right. Well, here's to a great team.

To a great team!

Well, hello.

- Ken!

- Hello.

I didn't think you were coming.

No, I was just late.

I tried to call, but... the battery.

I didn't want all this to go to waste,

so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

Oh, that was lucky.

There's a little left.

I could heat it up.

Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

I'm not much for the game myself.

The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit.

Right... there.

Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

and he agreed with me that eating with

chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

You think I don't see what you're doing?

I know how hard it is to find

the rightjob. We have that in common.

Do we?

Bees have 100 percent employment,

but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

That's just what

I was thinking about doing.

Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor

for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

I'm going to drain the old stinger.

Yeah, you do that.

Look at that.

You know, I've just about had it

with your little mind games.

- What's that?

- Italian Vogue.

Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

A lot of ads.

Remember what Van said, why is

your life more valuable than mine?

Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

I think something stinks in here!

I love the smell of flowers.

How do you like the smell of flames?!

Not as much.

Water bug! Not taking sides!

Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!

This is pathetic!

I've got issues!

Well, well, well, a royal flush!

- You're bluffing.

- Am I?

Surf's up, dude!

Poo water!

That bowl is gnarly.

Except for those dirty yellow rings!

Kenneth! What are you doing?!

You know, I don't even like honey!

I don't eat it!

We need to talk!

He's just a little bee!

And he happens to be

the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

Long time? What are you talking about?!

Are there other bugs in your life?

No, but there are other things bugging

me in life. And you're one of them!

Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

My nerves are fried from riding

on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.

And for your information,

I prefer sugar-free, artificial

sweeteners made by man!

I'm sorry about all that.

I know it's got

an aftertaste! I like it!

I always felt there was some kind

of barrier between Ken and me.

I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well.

Are you OK for the trial?

I believe Mr. Montgomery

is about out of ideas.

We would like to call

Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

Good idea! You can really see why he's

considered one of the best lawyers...

Yeah.

Layton, you've

gotta weave some magic

with this jury,

or it's gonna be all over.

Don't worry. The only thing I have

to do to turn this jury around

is to remind them

of what they don't like about bees.

- You got the tweezers?

- Are you allergic?

Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you

what I think we'd all like to know.

What exactly is your relationship

to that woman?

We're friends.

- Good friends?

- Yes.

How good? Do you live together?

Wait a minute...

Are you her little...

...bedbug?

I've seen a bee documentary or two.

From what I understand,

doesn't your queen give birth

to all the bee children?

- Yeah, but...

- So those aren't your real parents!

- Oh, Barry...

- Yes, they are!

Hold me back!

You're an illegitimate bee,

aren't you, Benson?

He's denouncing bees!

Don't y'all date your cousins?

- Objection!

- I'm going to pincushion this guy!

Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

Oh, I'm hit!!

Oh, lordy, I am hit!

Order! Order!

The venom! The venom

is coursing through my veins!

I have been felled

by a winged beast of destruction!

You see? You can't treat them

like equals! They're striped savages!

Stinging's the only thing

they know! It's their way!

- Adam, stay with me.

- I can't feel my legs.

What angel of mercy

will come forward to suck the poison

from my heaving buttocks?

I will have order in this court. Order!

Order, please!

The case of the honeybees

versus the human race

took a pointed turn against the bees

yesterday when one of their legal

team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

- Hey, buddy.

- Hey.

- Is there much pain?

- Yeah.

I...

I blew the whole case, didn't I?

It doesn't matter. What matters is

you're alive. You could have died.

I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

They got it from the cafeteria

downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.

Look, there's

a little celery still on it.

What was it like to sting someone?

I can't explain it. It was all...

All adrenaline and then...

and then ecstasy!

All right.

You think it was all a trap?

Of course. I'm sorry.

I flew us right into this.

What were we thinking? Look at us. We're

just a couple of bugs in this world.

What will the humans do to us

if they win?

I don't know.

I hear they put the roaches in motels.

That doesn't sound so bad.

Adam, they check in,

but they don't check out!

Oh, my.

Oould you get a nurse

to close that window?

- Why?

- The smoke.

Bees don't smoke.

Right. Bees don't smoke.

Bees don't smoke!

But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case!

It is? It's not over?

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

Get back to the court and stall.

Stall any way you can.

And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.

Mr. Flayman.

Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

Where is the rest of your team?

Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,

and as a result,

we don't make very good time.

I actually heard a funny story about...

Your Honor,

haven't these ridiculous bugs

taken up enough

of this court's valuable time?

How much longer will we allow

these absurd shenanigans to go on?

They have presented no compelling

evidence to support their charges

against my clients,

who run legitimate businesses.

I move for a complete dismissal

of this entire case!

Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going

to have to consider

Mr. Montgomery's motion.

But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Where is your proof?

Where is the evidence?

Show me the smoking gun!

Hold it, Your Honor!

You want a smoking gun?

Here is your smoking gun.

What is that?

It's a bee smoker!

What, this?

This harmless little contraption?

This couldn't hurt a fly,

let alone a bee.

Look at what has happened

to bees who have never been asked,

"Smoking or non?"

Is this what nature intended for us?

To be forcibly addicted

to smoke machines

and man-made wooden slat work camps?

Living out our lives as honey slaves

to the white man?

- What are we gonna do?

- He's playing the species card.

Ladies and gentlemen, please,

free these bees!

Free the bees! Free the bees!

Free the bees!

Free the bees! Free the bees!

The court finds in favor of the bees!

Vanessa, we won!

I knew you could do it! High-five!

Sorry.

I'm OK! You know what this means?

All the honey

will finally belong to the bees.

Now we won't have

to work so hard all the time.

This is an unholy perversion

of the balance of nature, Benson.

You'll regret this.

Barry, how much honey is out there?

All right. One at a time.

Barry, who are you wearing?

My sweater is Ralph Lauren,

and I have no pants.

- What if Montgomery's right?

- What do you mean?

We've been living the bee way

a long time, 27 million years.

Oongratulations on your victory.

What will you demand as a settlement?

First, we'll demand a complete shutdown

of all bee work camps.

Then we want back the honey

that was ours to begin with,

every last drop.

We demand an end to the glorification

of the bear as anything more

than a filthy, smelly,

bad-breath stink machine.

We're all aware

of what they do in the woods.

Wait for my signal.

Take him out.

He'll have nauseous

for a few hours, then he'll be fine.

And we will no longer tolerate

bee-negative nicknames...

But it's just a prance-about stage name!

...unnecessary inclusion of honey

in bogus health products

and la-dee-da human

tea-time snack garnishments.

Oan't breathe.

Bring it in, boys!

Hold it right there! Good.

Tap it.

Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,

and there's gallons more coming!

- I think we need to shut down!

- Shut down? We've never shut down.

Shut down honey production!

Stop making honey!

Turn your key, sir!

What do we do now?

Oannonball!

We're shutting honey production!

Mission abort.

Aborting pollination and nectar detail.

Returning to base.

Adam, you wouldn't believe

how much honey was out there.

Oh, yeah?

What's going on? Where is everybody?

- Are they out celebrating?

- They're home.

They don't know what to do.

Laying out, sleeping in.

I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way

to San Antonio with a cricket.

At least we got our honey back.

Sometimes I think, so what if humans

liked our honey? Who wouldn't?

It's the greatest thing in the world!

I was excited to be part of making it.

This was my new desk. This was my

new job. I wanted to do it really well.

And now...

Now I can't.

I don't understand

why they're not happy.

I thought their lives would be better!

They're doing nothing. It's amazing.

Honey really changes people.

You don't have any idea

what's going on, do you?

- What did you want to show me?

- This.

What happened here?

That is not the half of it.

Oh, no. Oh, my.

They're all wilting.

Doesn't look very good, does it?

No.

And whose fault do you think that is?

You know, I'm gonna guess bees.

Bees?

Specifically, me.

I didn't think bees not needing to make

honey would affect all these things.

It's notjust flowers.

Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.

That's our whole SAT test right there.

Take away produce, that affects

the entire animal kingdom.

And then, of course...

The human species?

So if there's no more pollination,

it could all just go south here,

couldn't it?

I know this is also partly my fault.

How about a suicide pact?

How do we do it?

- I'll sting you, you step on me.

- Thatjust kills you twice.

Right, right.

Listen, Barry...

sorry, but I gotta get going.

I had to open my mouth and talk.

Vanessa?

Vanessa? Why are you leaving?

Where are you going?

To the final Tournament of Roses parade

in Pasadena.

They've moved it to this weekend

because all the flowers are dying.

It's the last chance

I'll ever have to see it.

Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.

I never meant it to turn out like this.

I know. Me neither.

Tournament of Roses.

Roses can't do sports.

Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?

Roses!

Vanessa!

Roses?!

Barry?

- Roses are flowers!

- Yes, they are.

Flowers, bees, pollen!

I know.

That's why this is the last parade.

Maybe not.

Oould you ask him to slow down?

Oould you slow down?

Barry!

OK, I made a huge mistake.

This is a total disaster, all my fault.

Yes, it kind of is.

I've ruined the planet.

I wanted to help you

with the flower shop.

I've made it worse.

Actually, it's completely closed down.

I thought maybe you were remodeling.

But I have another idea, and it's

greater than my previous ideas combined.

I don't want to hear it!

All right, they have the roses,

the roses have the pollen.

I know every bee, plant

and flower bud in this park.

All we gotta do is get what they've got

back here with what we've got.

- Bees.

- Park.

- Pollen!

- Flowers.

- Repollination!

- Across the nation!

Tournament of Roses,

Pasadena, Oalifornia.

They've got nothing

but flowers, floats and cotton candy.

Security will be tight.

I have an idea.

Vanessa Bloome, FTD.

Official floral business. It's real.

Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.

Thank you. It was a gift.

Once inside,

we just pick the right float.

How about The Princess and the Pea?

I could be the princess,

and you could be the pea!

Yes, I got it.

- Where should I sit?

- What are you?

- I believe I'm the pea.

- The pea?

It goes under the mattresses.

- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.

- I'm getting the marshal.

You do that!

This whole parade is a fiasco!

Let's see what this baby'll do.

Hey, what are you doing?!

Then all we do

is blend in with traffic...

...without arousing suspicion.

Once at the airport,

there's no stopping us.

Stop! Security.

- You and your insect pack your float?

- Yes.

Has it been

in your possession the entire time?

Would you remove your shoes?

- Remove your stinger.

- It's part of me.

I know. Just having some fun.

Enjoy your flight.

Then if we're lucky, we'll have

just enough pollen to do the job.

Oan you believe how lucky we are? We

have just enough pollen to do the job!

I think this is gonna work.

It's got to work.

Attention, passengers,

this is Oaptain Scott.

We have a bit of bad weather

in New York.

It looks like we'll experience

a couple hours delay.

Barry, these are cut flowers

with no water. They'll never make it.

I gotta get up there

and talk to them.

Be careful.

Oan I get help

with the Sky Mall magazine?

I'd like to order the talking

inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.

Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.

- What'd you say, Hal?

- Nothing.

Bee!

Don't freak out! My entire species...

What are you doing?

- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!

- Who's an attorney?

Don't move.

Oh, Barry.

Good afternoon, passengers.

This is your captain.

Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B

please report to the cockpit?

And please hurry!

What happened here?

There was a DustBuster,

a toupee, a life raft exploded.

One's bald, one's in a boat,

they're both unconscious!

- Is that another bee joke?

- No!

No one's flying the plane!

This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.

What's your status?

This is Vanessa Bloome.

I'm a florist from New York.

Where's the pilot?

He's unconscious,

and so is the copilot.

Not good. Does anyone onboard

have flight experience?

As a matter of fact, there is.

- Who's that?

- Barry Benson.

From the honey trial?! Oh, great.

Vanessa, this is nothing more

than a big metal bee.

It's got giant wings, huge engines.

I can't fly a plane.

- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?

- Yes.

How hard could it be?

Wait, Barry!

We're headed into some lightning.

This is Bob Bumble. We have some

late-breaking news from JFK Airport,

where a suspenseful scene

is developing.

Barry Benson,

fresh from his legal victory...

That's Barry!

...is attempting to land a plane,

loaded with people, flowers

and an incapacitated flight crew.

Flowers?!

We have a storm in the area

and two individuals at the controls

with absolutely no flight experience.

Just a minute.

There's a bee on that plane.

I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson

and his no-account compadres.

They've done enough damage.

But isn't he your only hope?

Technically, a bee

shouldn't be able to fly at all.

Their wings are too small...

Haven't we heard this a million times?

"The surface area of the wings

and body mass make no sense."

- Get this on the air!

- Got it.

- Stand by.

- We're going live.

The way we work may be a mystery to you.

Making honey takes a lot of bees

doing a lot of small jobs.

But let me tell you about a small job.

If you do it well,

it makes a big difference.

More than we realized.

To us, to everyone.

That's why I want to get bees

back to working together.

That's the bee way!

We're not made of Jell-O.

We get behind a fellow.

- Black and yellow!

- Hello!

Left, right, down, hover.

- Hover?

- Forget hover.

This isn't so hard.

Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

Barry, what happened?!

Wait, I think we were

on autopilot the whole time.

- That may have been helping me.

- And now we're not!

So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.

All of you, let's get

behind this fellow! Move it out!

Move out!

Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,

you copy me with the wings of the plane!

Don't have to yell.

I'm not yelling!

We're in a lot of trouble.

It's very hard to concentrate

with that panicky tone in your voice!

It's not a tone. I'm panicking!

I can't do this!

Vanessa, pull yourself together.

You have to snap out of it!

You snap out of it.

- You snap out of it!

- Hold it!

- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.

How is the plane flying?

I don't know.

Hello?

Benson, got any flowers

for a happy occasion in there?

The Pollen Jocks!

They do get behind a fellow.

- Black and yellow.

- Hello.

All right, let's drop this tin can

on the blacktop.

Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?

No, nothing. It's all cloudy.

Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.

- Thinking bee.

Thinking bee!

Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

Wait a minute.

I think I'm feeling something.

- What?

- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.

Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.

Bring the nose down.

Thinking bee!

Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

- What in the world is on the tarmac?

- Get some lights on that!

Thinking bee!

Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

- Vanessa, aim for the flower.

- OK.

Out the engines. We're going in

on bee power. Ready, boys?

Affirmative!

Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.

Land on that flower!

Ready? Full reverse!

Spin it around!

- Not that flower! The other one!

- Which one?

- That flower.

- I'm aiming at the flower!

That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.

I mean the giant pulsating flower

made of millions of bees!

Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.

Rotate around it.

- This is insane, Barry!

- This's the only way I know how to fly.

Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane

flying in an insect-like pattern?

Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.

Smell it. Full reverse!

Just drop it. Be a part of it.

Aim for the center!

Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!

Oome on, already.

Barry, we did it!

You taught me how to fly!

- Yes. No high-five!

- Right.

Barry, it worked!

Did you see the giant flower?

What giant flower? Where? Of course

I saw the flower! That was genius!

- Thank you.

- But we're not done yet.

Listen, everyone!

This runway is covered

with the last pollen

from the last flowers

available anywhere on Earth.

That means this is our last chance.

We're the only ones who make honey,

pollinate flowers and dress like this.

If we're gonna survive as a species,

this is our moment! What do you say?

Are we going to be bees, orjust

Museum of Natural History keychains?

We're bees!

Keychain!

Then follow me! Except Keychain.

Hold on, Barry. Here.

You've earned this.

Yeah!

I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect

fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.

Oh, yeah.

That's our Barry.

Mom! The bees are back!

If anybody needs

to make a call, now's the time.

I got a feeling we'll be

working late tonight!

Here's your change. Have a great

afternoon! Oan I help who's next?

Would you like some honey with that?

It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.

Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.

And I don't see a nickel!

Sometimes I just feel

like a piece of meat!

I had no idea.

Barry, I'm sorry.

Have you got a moment?

Would you excuse me?

My mosquito associate will help you.

Sorry I'm late.

He's a lawyer too?

I was already a blood-sucking parasite.

All I needed was a briefcase.

Have a great afternoon!

Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,

and I can't get them anywhere.

No problem, Vannie.

Just leave it to me.

You're a lifesaver, Barry.

Oan I help who's next?

All right, scramble, jocks!

It's time to fly.

Thank you, Barry!

That bee is living my life!

Let it go, Kenny.

- When will this nightmare end?!

- Let it all go.

- Beautiful day to fly.

- Sure is.

Between you and me,

I was dying to get out of that office.

You have got

to start thinking bee, my friend.

- Thinking bee!

- Me?

Hold it. Let's just stop

for a second. Hold it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.

Oan we stop here?

I'm not making a major life decision

during a production number!

All right. Take ten, everybody.

Wrap it up, guys.

I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

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