#and i know the answer is no becquse im doing NOTHING. so i go to do something

[vivitalks]

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#i know its not fair to be stressed out by the stuff going on. i KNOW that #but i am #it's a privilege to be stressed. yes. and a privilege to be able to say 'i cannot care about this right now' #and i dont want to abuse that privilege because it isnt fair #i think i have to care even though im not sure i can. this stuff on such a global level comes with so much guilt #and so much grief and so much.....of a need for conscientiousness #I don't really consider myself a person with a voice #because i think everyone i know agrees with me and i dont have a platform like #and nobody even on here cares what i have to say which is kinda the point of it #but just in the tags of this post I'll probably delete i want to say that #it is hard for me to choose awareness and activism #i think that makes me a bad person? #but there it is #i do it anyway. because it's right. but if it were up to me i wouldnt. so that is wrong. #ETA: #it's just. i end up in this feedback loop of. am i doing enough. and the answer is no. #and i know the answer is no becquse im doing NOTHING. so i go to do something #but then i try to feel fulfilled that ive helped #and i just know that thats a cop out. thats like #'oh i did one thing.....enough activism for today' #thats not how it fucking works #and then it's like when is it enough?? what is enough??? #i know donations are important do i have to donate?? is that enough?? #even though im a fucking college kid who needs that money for her future #when there are people RICH people CELEBRITIES out there who are fucking swimming in it #who could pay off anything i could possibly contribute with probably the contents of their wallet? #how is my donation going to help?? really???? #should activism feel like shit? #ETA 2: well i felt shitty enough that i found a bunch of resources (thanks michael clifford's twitter) #and i signed a zillion petitions that won't do anything