#and in the drastic consequences of how they educate and relate to those girls

[anghraine]

This is unnecessarily long, but: I was just thinking about Wickham's predation on fifteen-year-old Georgiana Darcy and then, almost exactly a year later, Wickham's predation on sixteen-year-old Lydia Bennet.

There are obvious parallels between the two incidents. In fact, they're so obvious that I think the incidents are sometimes treated as equivalent, with the consequences only differing by happenstance. I don't think that's true, personally.

There are some mechanistic sort of differences—Wickham put a lot more effort and planning into the Georgiana situation. He wanted to marry her for her money and to make her brother suffer. She had to be isolated from people who would look out for her interests, he had Mrs Younge in place, he had known Georgiana as a child and was able to exploit his own previous kindness to her as her father's godson, etc.

And Georgiana, despite all of this, and despite being swept away by a teenage infatuation with an extremely attractive man, was still uncomfortable with it. She was worried about disappointing a brother who raised her and whom she deeply loves and admires. When her brother actually showed up by surprise, she decided to tell him everything; Darcy takes pains to give her credit for this. Adaptations generally downplay Georgiana's active decision-making here, but the only element of chance is Darcy deciding to go to Ramsgate at all. He insists that he was only able to act because Georgiana chose to tell him what was going on.

This isn't meant to be an indictment of Lydia, though. Does she admire the parents who raised her? No. But why would she? Especially why would she admire a father who treats her mother and sisters and herself with profound contempt and no sense of responsibility? Why would she ever confide in him?

It's not like Lydia doesn't confide in anyone. In fact, she too confides in an older sibling, her sister Kitty. And in one sense, her trust in Kitty is not undeserved. Kitty does keep the secret. Presumably, she does this because, despite her occasional annoyance with Lydia, she is very much under her influence and goes along with whatever Lydia does. Regardless, she is trustworthy in that sense. Moreover, we see at the end of the book that Kitty is easily improved by being placed in better environments and taught how to behave. She just didn't know better.

How was she going to judge Lydia's situation correctly? Who was teaching her to judge anything correctly? Certainly not their parents.

If Mr Bennet had bothered to interest himself in his younger daughters and try and influence them for the better, impressionable Kitty is probably the one who would have benefited the most. The whole Lydia/Wickham thing would have fallen apart before it went anywhere if all the girls had been been properly raised, even if Lydia did exactly the same things.

And Lydia likely wouldn't do the same things if she'd been brought up properly and, you know, treated with a baseline of respect rather than being openly mocked by her father, the person most able to affect her development. Instead, at barely sixteen, she's been continually rejected by her father, over-indulged by her mother, and flattered by adult men (28-y-o Darcy says he and Wickham are nearly the same age). And she still tells someone what's going on, even though she doesn't care about her parents' opinions or the consequences of her actions. And she was under the protection of a colonel and his wife at the time, who also could have told someone or acted, and didn't.

It's not that nobody could have done anything about the Lydia/Wickham situation. It's that nobody did until Darcy found out and tried to extract her. But it was, in one sense, too late. To Lydia, he's just some unfun acquaintance who says boring things like "go home to your family and I'll do what I can to cover for you." That is, he tries to do what he did for Georgiana.

But Lydia is not Georgiana—she did not choose to tell him about any of this. She did not want to be extracted because she didn't know and couldn't be quickly made to understand what marriage to Wickham would mean in the long term. And she didn't care what her family thought because she had no reason to, pragmatically or psychologically.

Georgiana, otoh, did care about her family's welfare and the good opinion and affection of the head of her family. But despite their radical differences in personality, the most fundamental difference between the girls IMO is that Georgiana had every reason to believe that disappointing Darcy and losing his respect would be a change from the norm.

Normally he is affectionate and attentive towards her. They write each other long letters, he defends her to other family members, and praises her frequently. Georgiana, quiet and intimidated though she may be, talks more when he's around. Disappointing him had actual stakes for her.

Put another way, the potential loss of his good opinion mattered to her because he's gone to the trouble of raising her as well as he can and forming a good relationship with her. She chose to tell Darcy the whole thing because he had earned her affection and trust in a way that Mr Bennet has utterly failed to do. Even Darcy happening to visit Georgiana at Ramsgate comes from his affection and attention to Georgiana's welfare, even if he couldn't have known what would follow from checking on his sister at that particular moment.

Chance is always part of life, and it's part of the novel and these situations. But a lot of how these scenarios wound out was not determined by chance but by long-existing patterns in these girls' educations and relationships.

#this actually spun off from a different post about the contrast between darcy and mr bennet #they're alike in some ways but it only makes the differences all the more glaring #and i don't think we see that more than in how they conduct themselves towards the young girls in their care #and in the drastic consequences of how they educate and relate to those girls #georgiana and lydia made choices but there's a point at which harping on choice!!! and personal responsibility!! doesn't have much value #and the contributing factors and context of those choices matter so much more #anghraine babbles #long post #austen blogging #austen fanwank #georgiana darcy #lydia bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #george wickham #mr bennet #catherine bennet #some unflattering references to mrs bennet but this is more of a mr bennet hate post :)

[shutterupp31]

Toxic masculinity-Whats wrong with our boys?

For centuries men have been condemned for acts of aggression, violence, and sexism, contributing to the ongoing popularity of the phrase ‘toxic masculinity’ which distinguishes these traits as toxic and unhealthy. The American psychological association have even recently introduced new guidelines for therapists working with both men and boys, indicating that early signs of extreme ‘traditional masculine behaviour’ can root themselves in personality traits that encourage outcomes of violence and misogyny, and must be disestablished early.

With the increase in male suicide rates and drug overdoses in the western world, combined with the rise of fourth wave feminism, as you can imagine, the debate on toxic masculinity is becoming all the more relevant amongst both genders. Mass media have blamed toxic masculinity for rape, mass shootings, online trolling, climate change and even the election of Donald Trump.

BUT is the phrase toxic masculinity actually helpful, accurate or universal? Let's discuss. 

Like any phrase or term regularly recycled within gender debate, the stereotypes it highlights have divided peoples opinions drastically, a predictable conflict that has most definitely contributed to the terms rise, (Yay politics). On the right we have many conservatives who allege that the charges of toxic masculinity is itself an attack on manhood. With mental health problems amongst males consistently rising, combined with the challenges the men's right movement already face, including paternity rights, homelessness, education to name a FEW, these people argue that it is dangerous and unfair to strip boys of what some would say is a necessity for them to discover their true selves as men in their time of need.

On the other side we see many ‘progressives’ who believe that the detoxification of masculinity is absolutely essential on the road to gender equality.

NOW, i'm sure (I mean I hope) we can all agree that issues including sexism, rape, violence and so on are obviously important and anyone male or female that possess these traits and/or actively defends them, needs help! Research consistently shows that those who hold sexist attitudes are more likely to perpetrate gendered violence. (DUH), but the potential biological and cultural contributions to why these figures are disproportionate amongst men and women is not something I wish to discuss at present, that's a whole other debate. 

What I do want to talk about (and what a lot of people aren't talking about) is this ‘painting every male with the same brush’ phenomenon and the extent to which this could be harmful.

My issue with the shift we have seen in which masculinity is rapidly becoming a dirty word, is that it genuinely encourages a narrative in which masculinity is fundamentally toxic. 

The assumption that the majority of what can be considered as male specific characteristics, as fundamentally harmful, is becoming increasingly worrying within socialist politics. Traits such as aggression, violence and dominance are more and more often being lumped in with those such as strength, confidence and independence and this is the problem. Yes masculinity can indeed be somewhat destructive, (AGAIN VIOLENCE IS BAD VERY BAD, NON VIOLENCE GOOD VERY GOOD) but both conservative and liberal stances on this issue commonly misunderstand how the term functions.

When people use it, they tend to diagnose the problem of masculine aggression and entitlement as a cultural or spiritual illness, something that has infected today’s men and leads them to reproachable acts. But toxic masculinity itself is not a cause. Over the past thirty years, as the concept has morphed and changed, it has served more as a barometer for the gender politics of its day and as an arrow toward the subtler, shifting causes of violence and sexism.

Acts of violence, aggression and sexism arise for a whole host of reasons, including socioeconomic factors such as education, class, and poverty, NEWSFLASH, not all men that celebrate the idea of being emotionally or physically strong intend to murder and rape the entire female population!

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT TIME

How often do you see women on social media celebrating what it means to be a woman? All the time right? Now, don't get me wrong, this rise of what I'm gonna call ‘girl power culture’ is phenomenally empowering.  

But how often do you see men innocently celebrate their manhood or say they are proud to be a man online in the same way?

Very rarely, and if they do they are often immediately attacked for being misogynistic and failing to recognise their privilege by Feminazi’s who fail to read context and get triggered by buzzwords. 

Ooooo Controversial? Perhaps, but AGAIN, I'm not failing to recognise that things like lad culture, and boys will be boys culture exist, and perhaps this obvious difference on social media has something to do with the years of oppression against women up until very recently, in fact it probably, most certainly is, however not acknowledging the multiplicity of reasons for these toxic behaviours, and not allowing men to celebrate that they like and may even enjoy being one, in the same way as its widely excepted amongst women, is well, kinda just dumb.

Don't believe me yet? Let's look at the evidence. 

First I think it is important to establish where the term originated. Despite the term’s recent popularity among feminists, toxic masculinity did not originate with the women’s movement. It was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and ’90s, motivated in part as a reaction to second-wave feminism. Through male only workshops, wilderness retreats, and drumming circles, this movement promoted a masculine spirituality to rescue what it referred to as the ‘deep masculine’, a protective ‘warrior’ type masculinity, from toxic masculinity. Men’s aggression and frustration was, according to the movement, the result of a society that feminized boys by denying them the necessary rites and rituals to realise their true selves as men. 

The claim of a singular, real masculinity has now been roundly rejected by a new sociology of masculinity. Led by the sociologist Raewyn Connell, this school of thought presents gender as the product of relations and behaviours, rather than as a fixed set of identities and attributes. Connell’s work describes multiple masculinities shaped by class, race, culture, sexuality, and other factors, often in competition with one another as to which can claim to be more authentic. In this view, which is now the prevailing social scientific understanding of masculinity, the standards by which a “real man” is defined can vary dramatically across time and place.

Connell and others theorised that common masculine ideals such as social respect, physical strength, and sexual potency can of course become problematic when they set unattainable standards. Falling short can make boys and men insecure and anxious, which might prompt them to use force in order to feel, and be seen as, dominant and in control, HOWEVER Male violence in this scenario doesn’t emanate from something bad or toxic that has crept into the nature of masculinity itself. Rather, it comes from these men’s social and political settings, the particularities of which set them up for inner conflicts over social expectations and male entitlement.

The popular discussion of masculinity has often presumed there are fixed character types among men, and I think it's become increasingly more important to be skeptical of this in order to understand the situations in which groups of men act, the patterns, and the inevitable consequences, because without doing so ,YOU may be contributing to the reinforcement of the toxic masculinity in which you despise so much, which brings us on to….

The blame game-are you contributing to toxic masculinity?

Where do these sexist attitudes come from? Are men and boys just the victims of cultural brainwashing into misogyny and aggression, requiring reeducation into the ‘right’ beliefs? Or are these problems more deep rooted, and created by the myriad of insecurities and contradictions of men’s lives under gender inequality? The problem with a crusade against toxic masculinity is that in targeting culture as the enemy, it risks overlooking the real life conditions and forces that sustain culture.

It is more than likely that you have somewhat contributed to the reinforcement of toxic masculinity without even realising. Something I see so often is both men and women emasculating men for being emotionally vulnerable and this specific topic is something I personally find alarming. In the same way I defend a man's right to choose how and whether he verbally expresses emotions, I strongly believe that there is work to be done to deconstruct the stigma that is attached to this, when and if they choose to do so.

In similar fashion, in the way we have fought so hard to reject female beauty standards, it's really essential that we consider the male equivalent. Don't think there is one? Ask any man under 5 foot 8, ask any bald man under the age of 30, ask any man who has been shamed for the lack of, or excess of body hair. We have to start recognising that there is a double standard, and without too much speculation, could these expectations and lack of attention we are giving them in comparison to a lot of feminist issues in mass media, be somewhat contributing to the frustration and anger that manifests into these toxic traits we have been discussing. YEAH, FUCKING PROBABLY.

Anyway, in summary what I'm saying is, in the same way that the toxic traits we subscribe to masculinity are not universal amongst all males, the solutions to those issues that we have identified within this culture, are also not universal. Recognising differences in the lives of men and boys is crucial to the effectiveness of efforts to resolve gender violence and inequality once and for all, some food for thought. 

Stay kind always, Abbie x

[gimmetheheadcanons]

Public/Relations 3/?

A/N: It’s long. It soooo drags. But at least it’s here. TW: Mention of death/suicide.

3. Three

They walked in silence. The young actress in front of him, huddled up in his arms as he directed her through an obstacle course made up of swaying guests. As they entered the final leg of the night, a desperate DJ stepped up his efforts, blasting music appealing to waning legs one last time.

After finally having delivered them both to the privacy of the concierge’s front desk (and with minimal interference from any loiters in the venue’s large lobby), Klaus impatiently ushered the valet to return to him his black Aston Martin Vanquish. Fast. There was the grave matter of a shaking woman in want of whisking away; and naturally, ever the leading man at a moment’s notice, Niklaus Mikaelson was dying to be of assistance.

It felt odd. That unearned intimacy between them.

Bonnie Bennett, so small and exposed; and Klaus, determined to keep peeling at the layers until she appeared without a thread of cover.

Yet the sudden way their sniping subsided made him wonder if maybe – perhaps – there could be a second chance at a more favourable first impression. 

Almost instantly embarrassed by the ridiculous notion of him being required to make any sort of adjustment or impression, Klaus cast the sappy thought aside.

This was Elijah’s doing.

Or any of the others.

Those damned detractors and the low regard with which they held him.

Klaus had always found spite to be an excellent motivator, except thanks to the champagne lending a hand in fuzzing up his thoughts, he couldn’t quite work out what on earth it was he was trying to prove on this exact night.  On any ordinary day, no matter how inebriated, he’d always have enough nous left to barricade against any dangerous ideas a weak heart may have. Meet the forces gathering at the base of skull, head on, and cut them down without mercy. Stop himself from doing silly trite things such as slipping away from his own celebration for the sake of impressing a girl.

A girl.  

Yet Klaus could do little to deny it; something had changed upon observing the overwhelming pain on Bonnie Bennett’s face. The quick, cruel death of that airy little laugh he quite liked. Those blazing eyes worryingly wet and weepy. That firestorm which had so quickly excited him, suddenly snuffed out. All put together, such a pathetic picture had the power to pull at his chest, instantly inspiring an untried impulse

He actually wanted to help this girl.

Get her far enough away from here so he could once again poke and prod until this frightful cocoon burst and the Bonnie Bennett emerged, hopefully ready to take a second stab at that magical, made for syndication, sitcom banter he unashamedly sought after.

Make their own laugh track to muffle the sobering realities of unscripted life.  

Klaus frowned a little as their carriage finally approach.

But then what? Where would they go? And more importantly, would she stay with him? Or without any polite notice, just up and go. Cut her losses, just as his dear brother had.

The clock ran out. The moment for deliberation gone as Klaus was confronted by the bane of his daily existence – flashes of white light in the distance brewing up a terrible storm of tabloid scandal.  

Of course the parasites would’ve congregated to catch a glimpse of his court. Klaus groaned inwardly, feeling disappointed twice over – once for momentarily forgetting this detail and then for remembering.

The paparazzi, or more accurately those unable to deceive their way to legitimate press status or forcibly gain access to his guest list, had set up their own party across the street. Careful to adhere to the minimum distance required to avoid any altercations and additional days in court (and Heaven knows how Klaus enjoyed those); three men and a woman took a flurry of hurried photos of their favourite meal ticket.

Klaus rolled his eyes, imagining the gleeful eyes cowardly hidden behind monstrously oversized contraptions, hideously glued to where a human face ought to have been. On his own, each snap of him was worth a decent sum but whenever a beautiful woman was involved the rate tripled.

He was certain the bidding for any pictures taken tonight would be especially high.

Klaus turned to his right. Bonnie, still in a state of quiet distress, thankfully hadn’t noticed the vampires. Best to keep it as such by disappearing quickly.

Unfortunate for them both however, was that this latest unfortunate development meant Klaus’s plans were in drastic need of amending. He couldn’t very well risk a high-speed pursuit with a valued asset of the Disney corporation in the passenger seat.

Oh won’t you think of the children Niklaus!

Klaus let escape a small but grim laugh at his favourite past-time, pulling out from the depth of his memory a rather unkind impression of stuffy, proper, pain in the arse Elijah.

But with none of the awkwardness of having to admit defeat to a flesh and bone version of his brother, Klaus was free to heed the words of caution offered by his figment.

“No bother.” He called out, finally having made up his mind to return inside and thus throwing back the keys to the man who’d just delivered them to him. Klaus casually waved his hand over the car, attempting to deflect any questions with a masterful performance of his usual indifference. “I have no need for this now. Take it back.”

“And once again, need I remind you – be gentle.”

He received a swift nod from a quaking man familiar with the implied consequences. To Klaus that terrified trembling was just a perk he got to enjoy after all the diligent work he put in to consistently educating his fellow man, wherever he went. He watched as the valet and car disappeared at once, then turned to deal with the wrath of a woman he knew to be unlearned and unafraid.

“Why?” Bonnie shouted angrily at the apparent act of betrayal. Klaus withdrew slightly so as to avoid any possibility of being struck in the face.  

Still composed but only barely – Bonnie spared him.    

Cautious not to indulge the oglers and sadly unsure how long Bonnie’s self-restrained would last, Klaus carefully positioned himself with his back to the cameras before answering in a low whisper.

“Why should we be the ones to abscond into the night like bandits? I swear to you love, nothing but merriment awaits – should you choose return with me.” Klaus said ensuring his voice was soft and sweet enough to assuage her fears, offering up the sincere and practical solution of support against Parker.

One word from her and the buffoon should find himself flung out on his arse, free to model on this very curb for the long-lensed vermin he so adored.  

“I won’t leave your side Bonnie.”

But Bonnie perceptive eyes signalled to him she saw through to his core. The man they all sensed him to be. She saw through this obvious glitch in his programming, all the way through to the selfish curiosity under the surface inspiring such chivalry.  

“No.”  She answered predictably, inviting a sad smile from him.

Yes, there was a story here, Klaus could admit that whilst focussing in on the beautifully pained face before him. A story he desperately hoped to know. Meanwhile, was it so hard to believe that his instinct to protect her ran just as deep as his desire to distract himself from the foul mood his bothersome brother had left him in?

“Then perhaps I can offer you an alternative solution. One more agreeable to you.”

And for the second time that night, Klaus Mikaelson took hold of Bonnie Bennett’s hand in a bid to lead her to a safer haven.

-----

When they finally arrived at their new much more discreet location, a private penthouse located within the same building, Klaus couldn’t help but show off a little. After all, leading a life of luxury meant he had the luxury to do so.

The noticeably awe-struck young woman in his company drank in the immaculate interior of the space. He followed the music of Bonnie’s heels connecting with the limestone tiles. As she took lead, soft yellow lights fixed high above were coming to life to greet her and celebrate her bravery. She didn’t have to travel too far from him to explore, her eyes doing most of the work, scanning the entire open space all the way to high glass walls revealing a fully furnished outdoor seating area and a sky pool in the distance.

“Make yourself at home.” Klaus called out, pointing towards the richly black Edelman leather sofas as he made a beeline to the built-in butler bar. He was about to pour two glasses of something comforting for them, when it dawned on him mixing drink and despair may appear slightly predacious to his watchful guest. Instead, Klaus returned to Bonnie’s side holding a less sinful (and therefore much less fun) bottle of mineral water which she politely accepted.

“Thanks.”

A genuine warm smile spread across his face at the tiny one he spotted her lips were failing to fight back.

“I usually keep this space for the after party. A handful of noteworthy individuals, for light debate followed by much needed debauchery. However…seeing how deeply loathed I am by everyone and their mum at this point in time– a fact my dear brother reminded me of a couple hours ago – I’d rather put it to better use tonight.”

Again, Bonnie thanked him, causing his chest to swell up like a balloon.

Klaus knew the automatic, monosyllabic, society taught reply shouldn’t have warranted such a reaction from him; yet there was a potent power in being able to receive Bonnie Bennet’s praise. Perhaps he could set himself a new challenge and keep a tally of exactly how much gratitude he could gross over the course of the night.

“To harbouring fugitives.” Klaus said raising his own bottle of water for a toast.  

Bonnie resisted to clink plastic, choosing instead to roll her eyes at the bon mot.

“I’m not a fugitive.”

Klaus shrugged his shoulders, the glint in his eyes still very much intent on teasing her at the cost of the night’s takings.  

He glugged down his drink partly in bid to appear unconcerned about the way she left him hanging and partly to try and rehydrate enough so he could have his wits about him before attempt to engage with Bonnie once more. She stood with her own bottle unopened, stealing subtle glances just as he was.

Once his thirst had been managed, Klaus lazily swiped at his wet mouth, his left hand unable to mop up each rebellious drop he let carelessly slid down his chin and onto the naked flesh peeking out from the top of his loosened-up shirt.

“Well…” He said sensing Bonnie’s discomfort at the intentional combination of silence, staring and so-close-together-standing.  

“Now that I have obliged you so, will you –  at the very least –  grace me with an explanation as to why we have been banished from my own party.”

Bonnie hesitated for a moment before turning her face away and answering in a low voice.

“I don’t need to see him.”

Klaus’s jaw tensed at the distance she insisted on putting between them. Screwing back on the lid, he disposed of his bottle by frustratingly flinging it onto a nearby armchair, where it landed with a soft thud.

“That much I gathered.”

She appeared unable to get comfortable with him, her body still on high alert as she slowly began pacing the room whilst aiming to maintain the guise of leisurely browsing the full stocked bookshelves.

It was frustrating. The hold that idiot Parker seemed to have over this woman. A woman, Klaus, in the short span of time they’d become acquainted, assumed was fearless.    

“Rest assured, there is no tail in need of shaking here.” Klaus promised again urging her to take a seat on any of the numerous chairs in the room.

Bonnie however denied him once more, continuing to evade him by staying constantly on the move.

A little heavier handed and a little more in character, Klaus proceeded to press harder.

“As an objective third party observer, I find the only thing pursuing you at this moment is your personal demons regarding Mr. Parker.”

She appeared to tense at his direct reference to her co-star, halting in a stride long enough for Klaus to close the gap between them. Good, he thought, pleased with the result of the harsher tactic he chose to employ. Perhaps now she would be more open to his assistance, whilst he was still gracious enough to be offering it.

“Demons,” Klaus continued in a slow purposeful drawl, inching nearer and nearer until able to see the specific shades of brown – from dark to light – of each individual hair strand on the back of Bonnie’s head. Klaus observed the beginnings of a couple of soft curls marching out of time, at odds with the rest of her perfectly placed and professionally straightened locks; and he wondered, how many more would join their marvellous little mutiny by morning.

With her back to her, Klaus had to guess what was going on inside Bonnie’s head. Instead his mind was preoccupied with the way her thin shoulders rose and fell as she breathed in and out more deeply. Charmed by the rhythm, Klaus’s own breath followed hers – his nose taking in the scent of sweet feminine fragrance on her skin. It was warm and comforting, like rich berries in a summer fruit crumble drowned in smooth vanilla custard. Meant for consumption during the blackest of winters, to heat the soul and stain the corners of your mouth a bloody red.

She turned to face him, without any warning and almost startled him.

Almost.

“These demons. I’d be glad to exorcise them for you if you could just make them more corporeal, love.”

The sequence continued on whilst she was facing him – that up then down, in then out – until Klaus interrupted it by gently resting his hands atop Bonnie’s shoulders, commanding them to steady.

She didn’t gasp for him.

His disappointed eyes watched her doubtful ones, unable to win them over; her silence just about to start reminding Klaus that his patience was a finite resource in need of constant replenishing.

“Details Bonnie.” He said, following up with a more insistent growl he knew he would come to regret. “I demand them.”

Klaus found his planned interrogation aborted quite suddenly. However, not by any hostility of Bonnie’s but by the gentle interruption of beeping coming from somewhere on her person. It was the sound of an incoming text message, she chose to immediately answer.

Phone in hand and pushing past him, her shoulders savagely cut across his chest like a rugby player’s.

After a silent second, Bonnie let out a furious scream.  

Shaking with rage, her livid eyes were glued to the screen.

Intrigued, Klaus approached her to peer over her shoulder pryingly. Unfortunately, he was unable to catch the communication in its entirety when Bonnie once again shrieked.

“Argh! Damn it Alaric! Thanks for the heads up asshole.” She cursed upon having fully read the script herself, angrily smashing down her water on the marble counter in front of her. Not having noticed him walk up behind her, Bonnie bumped flat into his chest as she turned around.

“How about a little personal space?” She said her tone acerbic as she lashed out at him for the sins of another.

Hardly offended Klaus obliged, cordially stepping out of the way but not before mockingly putting both hands up and throwing her a wink.

Bonnie ignored him, angrily pressing away at the keyboard on her phone screen.  

Alaric Saltzman, Klaus knew the man as well as he did every agent who tried their luck at claiming him as a prize. For a time, Klaus toyed with the idea of striking up an alliance with the man, before quickly recognising that Saltzman’s body of work, in all its underwhelming mediocrity wouldn’t have been well-suited to Klaus’s needs.

Not in the long run anyway.

Klaus wickedly grinned, thinking back to wholesome redheaded he freed from a potential life sentence as the second Mrs. Saltzman; realising that for a short while, there was a need the agent – or to put more accurately the agent’s fiancée – did satisfy.  

His indulgence and mischief however had cost him in a way. Word got round and no agent in this town since managed to last beyond a couple of weeks managing Klaus. Each finding him too – what was it that Josh said – “mega intense and scary like a medieval torture expert guy”.

It was a gratifying sacrifice, if undertaken solely to punish Saltzman for his insolence. For the crime of daring to believe he and Klaus could be equals, the actor extracted his revenge most viciously. Taking from the man the love of his life, compelling her to lose herself in a moment of weakness, debasing her and discarding her. Still, it took just that on time of mixing pleasure and business for Klaus to see how quickly most fled from him.

Afraid of joining the pile of bodies he left in his wake.

Young Joshua must’ve been a glutton for punishment when he signed on with Klaus. Since the Saltzman affair, the pitiful boy had the pleasure of pulling double duty on all of the actor’s booking needs. Naturally, he did this collaborating with the patient people at William Morris Endeavour.

Done sending her text, Klaus wondered if Bonnie’s displeasure meant she could someday be persuaded to leave that dullard agent of hers and join him at the rival agency. Except, he quickly realised, that would require her to start viewing him in a much different light.

She must’ve been distracted enough by the unpleasant news she received, it slipped her mind to hold him to account for his earlier pushy behaviour. This would’ve been an ideal time to cease testing the patience of his guest, yet wholly undeterred and his impulsive nature getting the best of him, Klaus continued.

“Still waiting love.”

“Look Klaus,” Bonnie said finally snapping at him; the woman before him, far away from the timid, torn up creature he needed to coax into that lift. “Thank you for the rescue but you can return to your party. Okay? I’ll be out when I’m ready.”

This Bonnie, the one prone to turn on her heel and storm away from him, required a far more delicate touch. “Perhaps I can make arrangements to have you returned to your place of residence?” Klaus offered in a plea to appear reasonable.

But Bonnie didn’t need a moment to muse over his suggestion. Shaking her head immediately but looking somewhat despondent about having to do so, she replied weakly.

“No. I can’t. Not after tonight.”

With another piece of the puzzle in his possession yet somehow saddened by what it held, Klaus wavered a little.  

“Then I have a suggestion you may find either entirely pleasing or wholly preposterous.”

“Stay here.”

It was out there now. That dangerously weak heart of his finally successful in its intended coup; and Klaus’s deepest desire for company – a secret no more.  

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Klaus replied fully committed to this idiocy now.  

Bonnie took another look at the grand apartment he’d just made available to her. “I guess this is okay.”

Catching herself venturing into a territory occupied by the far more ill-mannered, Bonnie tried again –  a little more enthusiastic this time. “Good even. I mean – it’s good. Thank you, Klaus.”

Another Bonnie Bennett thank you for Klaus’s book. The idle angel on his shoulder sure had an unusually amount to brag about tonight.

“Well, not so fast.” Klaus added, reminding Bonnie there were terms attached to his offer. “I cannot vouch for what kind of pay there is in television but there are a few items here that’ll fetch a pretty penny online. Morbidity of fame I suppose.”

Deciphering his meaning with narrowed eyes, Bonnie finally conceded.

“Fine stay if you must.”

“Just don’t bother me okay?”

Klaus clapped his hands together jubilantly. “Now we’re finally seeing eye to eye, I’d like to revisit my earlier queries.”

He walked over to the largest sofa and sat, his hand outstretched hovering over the space next him where he’d visualised she should be. “Come sit with me.”

Bonnie let out an ironic laugh at the proposal. “You gotta be kidding me!”

“You’re not gonna trick me into some ridiculous Dr. Phil situation Klaus.” She promised with a resolute look on her face.

Klaus lazily stretched his arms out above him and yawned, before satisfyingly settling his back against the soft cushions further. He then cast a relaxed smile in Bonnie’s direction, hoping to entice her to come do the same. Her day must’ve started as early as his, if not earlier.

“Come now, you’ve been standing in those heels for long enough love.”

“No way. No matter how comfortable the couch, I refuse to share it with you.” Bonnie repeated.

Frustrated, Klaus grabbed the soft white throw pillows, snatching them out from under him and busily began rearranging them. Without looking at her he muttered under his breath what he knew could only be received as a menacing attempt at intimidation.  

“I’ll be sure to send Kai Parker your most affectionate greetings when I go then.”

Once again, Klaus made sure to use his full name for effect.

Dissatisfied with the thought of missing her reaction, Klaus put away his angry pout and turned to face Bonnie, adding with a sneer. “I so did enjoy him in this summer’s must-see superhero flick. Really remarkable how far he’s come from his humble beginnings as a teenage witch.”

Bonnie did not blink. It looked as though she’d been inoculated to his mean mouth after the first incident. Klaus was about to try something different to get that reaction he craved when she cut him off.

“Why are you doing this?” She demanded, completely throwing him.  

“Why are you fucking with me?”

Not sure how to reply to such a straightforward question, Klaus hid behind a mocking gasp of shock and opted to childishly mutter about her use of foul language instead. Unfortunately, the aggravated actress firmly stayed on topic.

“All night in fact! Do you even see what you’re like?”

All of a sudden, Klaus had been stunned into silence by her more measured tone and the crashing waves of righteous rage radiating from her threatening to batter his unprotected body.

This was nothing like he’d ever dealt with before. Similar words from his siblings often fell short because of their own failings being so laughably apparent to him. No, blasted Jiminy Crickets would seldom manage to escape without being mercilessly crushed by his fist.  

Yet here was Bonnie and having a bloody good go!

And it was different, he noted. Her inquires into his very character held no pretence of a search for higher moral reasoning. She didn’t care to teach him anything or even win for that matter. She just plain and simple wanted to know.

Demanded to know.

Why was he, Klaus Mikaelson, fucking with her?  

It was a brilliantly phrased little question, simple in every way and yet something told Klaus he was in no way capable of delivering the complexity of its answer.

With no response coming her way any time soon, Bonnie groaned, wearily throwing her arms up in the air.

Her annoyance flared up once more when Klaus made the mistake of smiling. Her eyes flashed widely in disbelief at the action.

“Why are you grinning like a villain? Have you really nothing better to do?”

Ready to incur another deadly glare, Klaus was surprised to see her face soften.  

“Come on man, why all this,” She whined in response to this uncharacteristic quietness she had to endure from him. “I don’t even know you.”

The plainly said statement, a desperate final attempt at trying appeal to his better nature. There are protocols in civilised societies, she beseeched him The pools of hazel staring back at him called for the decency to mind one’s own bloody business.  

Except, that’s where Bonnie Bennett had gone wrong.

Klaus Mikaelson, more beast than man, was hardly civilised.

“Oh don’t be daft.” He laughed for a second time, crossing his arms under his head casually, further propping up the pillows. “Of course, you know me. Everyone does.”

“Great.” Bonnie said, her face clearly regretting her efforts to try and reach him. Klaus frowned a little at how easily she gave up. “So where’d your babysitter go? The big brother?”

Her casual mentioning of Elijah replicated the same discomfort Kai Parker’s did. Klaus shifted awkwardly in his seat and Bonnie noticed.

“Oh wow. You’re all of a sudden bored of twenty questions when it’s your turn?” Bonnie said with a sneer ugly on her pretty face.  

Determined not to lose to her, Klaus answered frankly. “He should be where he prefers to be. Back in his hotel room in a deep untroubled slumber. Miles away from here. From me.” He said bitterly.

His earnest confession as to the reason for his aloneness had an unexpected outcome.

A sudden crash and the empty space next to him became occupied.

Bonnie let out a tired sigh, appearing exhausted by everything leading up to the moment to collapsed down next to him. It was odd having her choose to not only sit, but then to do so closely.

As her thigh pressed against Klaus’s, he turned his head slightly to get a better look at the profile of her face. Her heavily lashed eyelids were shut as she inhaled deeply, sinking further into the comforting cool leather. Using just the tip of her toes, she flicked off her right shoe followed by the left. Her perfectly pedicured and painted toes then giving a little victory wiggle.

“It’s a nice couch.” She hummed, her still lids shut.

“It is.” Klaus chuckled.

“So jerk brother huh?” Bonnie asked, her eyes opening to look around the room as if she had misplaced something.

Up close, Klaus noticed slightly dry flakes of darkly stained skin peeling off insides of her lips, revealing a fleshy pink in contrast to the impeccable matte coat of chestnut brown from earlier this evening.

Without being asked, Klaus found himself on his feet and heading to the counter, returning with her discarded bottle in his hand. Again, she thanked him when he opened it for her and Klaus counted that as being five now in his favour.

“Jerk brother.” He concurred taking his seat once more.

“And what of your handler? Your agent, Saltzman was it?”

Bonnie’s mood soured at the mention of the man. “Urgh, just found out he ditched me to deliver his twins.”

Klaus was surprised at her answer.

Why the old bugger sure bounced back rather marvellously! So, it was two sets of tiny feet, and not his own cold ones that kept Alaric Saltzman away this evening. But why instead of being elated for her mentor, was Bonnie Bennett clearly furious? Surely there had to be some greater transgression than this? Or was she a far pettier person than Klaus had realised.

“What a monster.” He said mockingly.

Bonnie snorted. “Yeah well, he could’ve drop a warning he was going to be leaving me with one.”

“Poppycock! I’ve been a perfect gentleman.”

When Bonnie allowed herself to giggle at his exaggerated exasperation for even a second, Klaus noted how his ears, coming through the other side of a severe joyless drought, were beginning to grow fond of the sunny sound.

“Like hell you have.” She said slipping on a brief smile, comfortable enough to lazily slap the side of his thigh with the back of her hand without really looking at him. The impression left by her touch tingled for a moment thrilling him. Then the smile, just as easily slipped from her face leaving nothing but a pool of quiet bitterness in her eyes.

“I didn’t mean you.” Bonnie added in a low whisper, unblinking eyes gazing into the distance.

Klaus inhaled deeply, the solemn air between them thick and heavy.

Alaric Saltzman’s failings finally revealed.

A heads up.  

“Kai Parker.” He said without even the faintest hint of a sneer. She hadn’t anticipated on him being at the party. Alaric must’ve withheld that information from her.  

“Yep.”

Klaus shook his head sadly, trying on for size the part of a supportive friend. “He seems like such a prince too. Making the rounds at children’s wards in his silly tights and cape.”

“Well what do you want me to say? That Disney money got him playing you all 24/7 okay?” Bonnie retorted, straightening up.

Klaus knew he’d gone wrong, his attempts at sincerity rang false.

“Okay.” He said yielding to her and hoping she’d return to that almost tranquil state of earlier, teasing him with a touch or two.

But it wasn’t to be. As if only just slowly waking from a hazy dream and suddenly aware of her surroundings, Bonnie Bennett’s guard came up in full force.

“Are you friends with him?”

It was Klaus’s turn to jolt awake.

“Excuse me?”

“I said are you friends with him?” She demanded more sternly.

Klaus’s chuckles were dismissive. “Why? Did he pass along a lovely little handwritten note asking us to be mates love?”

Bonnie shot up.

On her feet and at a distance, she repeated herself.  

“I mean it Klaus. I need to know.”

“Are you friends?”

“No.” He said but by the time he answered they’d returned to their earlier roles. “Bloody hell. I said no didn’t!”  

To his horror, Bonnie would not abide.

In one swift motion, Klaus rose also. Back to facing off with Bonnie, but now with a much greater height advantage than the barefoot actress.

“We hardly travel similar circles. Just the overcrowded ones in need of a good cull if you ask me.”

Sensing she needed more than that Klaus decided to spell out for her exactly how he felt about the Kai Parkers of the world.

“I never thought of him as anything but a self-centred, man-child with mediocre flair for the arts yet an unmatched need for constant attention.”

He was met with raised eyebrows from the young woman.

“Don’t look at me like that!” He insisted growing increasingly irritated she would continue to question him. “I mean it love.  Believe me, we have nothing in common. He’s a hack. A Buzzfeed quiz favourite, constantly clamouring for followers across his social media like a harlot.”

Finally, Bonnie grinned a little. “Hashtag blessed.” She quipped in a voice much too heavy to be actually humorous.

Finally, Klaus watched as she settled back into her seat and convinced he did enough to ease her her doubts about him, followed.

“Well, I guess you know better than anyone not to believe what you read in the papers.” Bonnie observed, her head turning to face him. Her nose may as well have be touching his cheek but Klaus was too troubled by the mystery she still hid from him to take any joy in his triumph.  

“On the contrary love, when it comes to me, I must urge you – believe every word.” He said completely unironically.

“Even Carol Lockwood?”

“I – sorry – I didn’t meant to – ” Bonnie stammered her face utterly changed by the dark weight behind those words. Her mouth slammed shut; Klaus’s grim look, a judge’s gavel coming down on hard on such the feeble defence her lips were aspiring to form.  

“I don’t know why I said that.”

The choppy waves threatening to form above Klaus’s brows instantly settled, the flood of emotion never quite reaching the shores of his eyes. Gripped by the eerie stillness of a drowning victim, he sat unresponsive.  

There was hardly any point to it. The pens dripped in poison had done their job, effectively killing this conversation as it had the one with Elijah.

“The topic exhausts me.” A whisper of life left in him confessed.

Klaus shifted in his seat slightly ready to resist any and all of Bonnie’s resuscitation attempts. He expected a taste of his own medicine; bracing himself for a barrage of prying questions meant to unsettle.

Bonnie, far kinder and empathetic he thought the descendants of Adam could ever be, simply decided to nod.

“I understand.”

Understanding. His heart ached a little at the prospect of such a thing – he was the keeper of far less publicised ghost stories. Ones good souls would greatly struggle with.

“How could you possibly love.”

Gallons of redness spilling over the sides and onto the tiles, setting Klaus up to lose his footing and fall when he found her. A bathtub transformed into an overfilled wine glass. His mother, always such a careless drinker, had decidedly drained herself. The shirt he wore that day suddenly a bib, soaking up the mess she left for him as Klaus lost consciousness on the floor.

Last thought on his mind?

She finally did it.

Escaped them all to other side.  

#klonnie #tvd #bonnie bennett #klaus mikaelson #fanfiction

[womenandfilm5]

I chose to watch “Eighth Grade” by Bo Burnham, and honestly, I found it to be incredibly heartbreaking. The overarching theme was navigating the awkwardness and challenges of adolescence, the prevalent desire to find a place to fit in. The themes of anxiety and depression are also explored, as the protagonist Kayla struggles with extreme social anxiety, and describes how she constantly feels, by saying “I feel like I always have that nervous feeling when you’re waiting in line for a roller coaster, but I always just have that nervous feeling, and I never have that good feeling after the ride, that relief”.  There is also a clear critique of the religious manner adolescents both regard and constantly use social media. Within this film there is also a clear disdain for the often ineffective method of sex education in schools, and the way that children often have to navigate these confusing arenas themselves, often because they feel pressured or coerced to do things they are not ready for.  . The film’s basic content was following the protagonist Kayla and her experiences in the last week of eighth grade, before she enters the high school. There is never any mention of other family members, besides her father, who appears to be attempting to raise her as a single father. He continues to try to bond with her, despite how she rebukes and shuts him out for so long, until towards the end of the movie. She is shown to have no friends, and struggles to take her own advice that she talks about in YouTube videos she makes. Kayla is often waxing about ways to gain confidence and improve your social life, but she genuinely struggles to follow her own words, and is unable to connect to people. She tries to fit in with a crowd of shallow, cruel girls, who treat her as less than a person, and the boy she is interested in does the same. He never shows an interest in her, until she starts to use sexualization as a currency, and mentions that she has nudes on her phone, to reel him in. After a trip to the high school for a class visit, she starts hanging out with a group of high schoolers, and attracts the attention of a pervy twelfth grader. He attempts to make Kayla take her shirt off after he isolates her from everyone else, and while she refuses and is able to leave the situation, she is clearly scared and confused.  . The film’s form is a narrative structure encompassing about a weeks span, and this story line following Kayla is split up with inserted clips from her YouTube channel. These inserted clips from her channels align so that the viewer is either seeing the contrast between what Kayla advises people to do versus what she actually does, or so that we see a contrast between a younger, more naive Kayla, and the current-day overwhelmed, more cynical Kayla. There was a very interesting use of aesthetics and visual style, in the way there was a lot of the story told through the palpable discomfort in body language and facial expressions of Kayla, and the way she interacts with her physical environment. There are a lot of closeup shots of her face, and the way she contorts her mouth and unconsciously expresses her emotions. Her eyes also express a lot of what she is feeling, and when she is nervous the camera will also zoom in on her hands fluttering nervously, or other such movements to demonstrate this effect. This method is particularly influential and makes the viewer really feel the energy exuded by the characters on the screen, and you feel immersed in the emotions that Kayla feels. The dialogue between the characters is often peppered with conversational pauses, such as “like”, and “um”. These words are not meant to demonstrate a lack of intelligence in the characters, particularly in the protagonist, but are used to verbalize the uncertainty with which Kayla navigates her social interactions, and is constantly in fear of saying the wrong thing. Multiple times throughout the film we see Kayla practice what she is going to say before calling someone, or speaking to them in person. This culminates such that it is clear how tentative Kayla is to assert her presence, and it really makes you want to fight for her. 

I chose to watch this film, because I love Bo Burnham as a comedian, and I have been listening to his music and Netflix comedy sketches for years, and I assumed that this film would be light-hearted as well. I was shocked by how heavy this film weighed on me, and how hard it hit me emotionally. One of my little sisters is currently in eighth grade, and she experiences extreme social anxiety, and it broke my heart a bit to really see this narrative through Kayla’s eyes, and then continuously relate it back to my sister’s experiences. I was shocked by the impacting nature of this film, and I learned that Bo Burnham suffers from crippling panic attacks, and chose to share his experiences through an eighth grader, because “anxiety makes me feel like a terrified thirteen-year old”. The film is thusly named, as it represents the anxiety and uncertainty of an eighth grader which Burnham experiences in his daily life. I found this to be profoundly self-aware, and a wonderful way to demonstrate such a powerful story of adolescent struggles and social  navigation. This film was also made only two years ago, and explores Millennials’ relationship with their generationally different parents, such as Kayla’s father, a member of Generation X. There are clear depictions of the toxic nature of social media in this film, and it is made clear the concerns that older generations have, to their children being so attached to their phones. This film really makes the socio-political climate it was filmed in known, and touches on prominent themes of the current time period, such as technological concerns of the era, and the way it allows young children access to things far before they are ready. 

A particularly poignant scene that really drew forth an emotional response in me was when Kayla approached Kennedy in school, after attending Kennedy’s party, where her mother forced her to invite Kayla. It took so much out of Kayla to even interact with the guests at the party, and for most of the time she was hiding in another room, while everyone else was gathered in the living room having fun. She rehearses what to say to Kennedy, and attempts to mirror both her language and image. We see Kayla wearing a Hollister shirt to try to blend into the “in-group”, she uses linguistic pauses to save herself time to think, such as “like”, and hunches over with her arms in front of her body, as a subconscious shield. Her body language is clearly very nervous, and the camera once again utilizes the technique of focusing in on her nervous, fluttering hands, arms protectively hiding her body, and her facial expressions of uncertainty. She is trying so hard in this scene, and is desperate to say, do, and be the version of herself that Kennedy will perceive as cool, but Kennedy only glances at her once or twice in this scene, implies disgust in her face and body language, and never once makes eye contact, or shows respect in her responses. Everything she responses is terse, and a one-word response, never anything to stimulate or keep the conversation going. This led me to draw connections to “Lemonade” by Beyonce, which is perhaps a strange comparison, but I kept thinking of the vast differences in confidence between Beyonce and Kayla. Beyonce is obviously a grown woman, but despite the adversity and discrimination she has undoubtedly faced in her life, almost all of the 13 chapters in her video display her oozing confidence. This is notable in the way she walks, makes eye contact, keeps her head high, shoulders back, hair kept in a manner that frames her face and doesn’t hide it, etc. She is a powerful, beautiful woman, who has come into her own, and she is aware of this fact. While this is obviously a drastically different situation, Kayla, an awkward, adolescent eighth grader demonstrates all of the exact opposite physical attributes as Beyonce does: she wears clothes to hide her body, tries to collapse into herself, and tries to never draw anyone’s attention to her. 

When watching this film, I began to ask myself questions that many parents are also having to face in this day and age. How can you simultaneously restrict your child from the negative consequences of the internet, while still allowing them freedom? The philosopher Locke believed the parenting approach to children seeking knowledge should always reflect pure honesty, and I feel this applies to the issue of technology. Banning a child from a website, restricting their access to the internet, or taking their phone has proved time and time again to be ineffective. For those with a goal, there will always be a way to access the internet, and no matter how scrupulous the parent, there will be a way to circumnavigate their restrictions. As a person who grew up with technology, but also witnessed a huge technological boom while in my teens, I believe our generation has a unique perspective, as we are immersed in this culture of social media, but perhaps somewhat more aware of it’s toxicity and it’s prevalence than the generations that have come after us. I feel that an open-door policy with a child is always best, and allowing them to come to you with any questions and not face consequences is key. Being honest about how social media can impact your self-esteem, how so much of the images on these sites are faked, how there are predators online, how inappropriate ads sometimes pop up, etc is the best way to inform a child. Is this a possible method with every generation that begins, especially as it can be challenging to keep up with all the new forms of social media? How can anyone be sure of what their child is doing on the internet, without invading their privacy? Should children be restricted of information until an appropriate age (within reason of course)? – HB

[sparklemichele]

Hi so ive been wondering something and you seem to be very willing to inform people on issue of people of colour, if this is by any means offensive you dont have to answer this nd i apologise. I would like to know if there some sort of racism amoung african-american people themselves? It might be rare but do lightskinned african-americans look down on dark skinned sometimes? Again i might sound incredibly ignorant but where i live there are very few people of colour so i have no idea.

Hi Anon. I’m going to let a really great article I read by Jaleel Campbell answer your question. I hope it helps.

Dark Skin Vs: Light Skin: The Battle of Colorism In The Black Community

In many different cultures and countries around the world, skin color plays a huge role in the concept of beauty. Lighter skin is often preferable to darker skin. The effects of the African American self-hate toward each other because of one’s skin color is rather eye opening and sad, to say the least. This is a very hot and taboo subject among the African American community. As a culture that came from years of oppression and hatred inflicted by slave owners, forced to think that because of their color, they were inferior, blacks have somehow reverted back to having this sort of mindset which is, in fact, hurting them as a whole. With no thanks to the media and its influence on what is seen as beautiful, Black America is tearing itself apart when it focuses on such a shallow aspect of a person that they can’t control. What a person makes of themselves and all of their aspirations should be what they’re judged on - not their skin color. African Americans should stop using skin color to discriminate against each other because it hinders the progression of the entire black community.

Frequent sightings of dark skinned people portrayed negatively in the media is heavily exploited, while light skinned and non-black individuals are portrayed more positively.These kind of prejudgements negatively impact the African American community and prevents the culture from moving forward. Hundreds of years after slavery, the actions of several people in the black community still show that the culture, as a whole, needs to stop and think about the negative connotations they are associating themselves with. Sometimes people make statements such as, "You're pretty for someone who's dark-skinned " or "pretty for a black girl". Phrases such as the ones above are in no shape or form, a compliment. When someone says the above statement they are implying that because of a darker persons complexion, they’re automatically supposed to be ugly. Subtle jabs like this can take their toll on the self esteem of a person.

Growing up as a child in a place where being ridiculed and made fun of because your skin is of a darker complexion is one thing that most Americans couldn’t even imagine. In an interview with Essence Magazine, actress Viola Davis discusses how, as a child, she too felt the pain of being called an assortment of derogatory terms and shares how after a while, she began to believe that she in fact, was ugly (essence.com). Imagine seeing a little girl who had all of her self confidence ripped from her before she entered the 6th grade. That was the norm for Davis back during her childhood. According to the author of “Exploring the Impact of Skin Tone on Family Dynamics and Race-Related Outcomes,” Evidence suggests that racial socialization helps foster the adjustment of children in the face of race-related adversity and serves to protect youth from negative mental health consequences (Hughes, 2006). What many people fail to realize is that children are still developing and in prepubescent kids especially, criticism such as being called ugly and being told you will amount to nothing, can have a substantial effect on the sanity of someone so young. That child is left with that idea stuck in the back of their head throughout life and this idea can be the base of all of the future problems the person has with their self image as an adult.

The Clark Doll Experiment, administered by Kenneth and Mamie Clark, was an experiment that dealt with race and how children perceive it at a young age. The results that came from it were indeed astonishing yet, heartbreaking to say the least.

In the experiment Clark showed black children between the ages of six and nine two dolls, one white and one black, and then asked these questions in this order:

“Show me the doll that you like best or that you’d like to play with,”

“Show me the doll that is the ‘nice’ doll,”

“Show me the doll that looks ‘bad’,”

“Give me the doll that looks like a white child,”

“Give me the doll that looks like a coloured child,”

“Give me the doll that looks like a Negro child,”

“Give me the doll that looks like you.”

The questionnaire concluded with 44 percent of the black children choosing the white doll as being the doll that looked like them. This study gained a lot of attention because of the fact that young black children were disassociating themselves with their true race. A question that the case leaves lingering in the air is “what made the children choose the white doll instead of the one that was more close to them?”

In American culture, whiteness and more of a European "look" is considered the norm, and as a result, blackness is associated with lesser status. When looking at some celebrities, for instance Nicki Minaj, there has been a drastic change to her appearance since she first came on to the scene. As her popularity arose, she began to seem more increasingly "light". It is clear to the reader that she has altered her appearance. Now why is this you ask? Predictions can be made that in order for her to move up the ladder in the music world, she had to gain crossover appeal by changing her appearance to fit the pop demographic that her managers wanted her to meet. Although she may not agree with some of the ideas her team are putting together to make up her image, it has since propelled her to superstardom.

Even today,some people who are lighter-skinned consider themselves superior to (and more attractive than) darker-skinned Americans. Filmmaker, Spike Lee, commented on this problem in the movie School Daze, where he exposed the problems between light and dark skinned individuals attending a historically black college. One famous scene from the movie involves two groups of women, one group light skinned, and the other dark skinned, as they argue in a hair salon about which group has good hair. Both groups of women use many derogatory words to describe each which shows how ignorance is still apparent even within one’s own race. Because of such ignorance, the movie received a lot of criticism after its premiere. Before Lee shed light on the subject, it was a topic that was swept under the table but because of his influence, the problem was brought to national attention.

A 2006, University of Georgia study showed that employers prefer light skinned black men to dark skinned men, regardless of their qualifications. They found that a "light-skinned male could have only a Bachelor’s degree and typical work experience and still be preferred over a dark-skinned male with an MBA and past managerial positions"(Harrison 2006). On the other hand, however, in the corporate world, it is assumed that ”relative to their lighter-skinned counterparts, darker skinned Blacks have lower levels of education, income, and job status” (Turner 1995). Since this stereotype is in place, “Corporate America” can be seen as nothing more than an imagination in the eyes of a dark person, as if they know that the job wouldn’t be inviting to people such as them. So how did black culture become so infused with self hatred? Dark skinned slaves working in the field hated the light skin slaves working in the master's house because of the fact that he chose to “spoil” their lighter counterparts. According to “Brotherman: The Odyssey of Black Men in America - an Anthology,” One of the most popular methods of teaching this divisive behavior was created by Willie Lynch, a British slave owner in the West Indies, who came to United States to advise American slave owners how to keep their slaves restrained. The darker slaves were forced to work in the fields and received no privileges. This is what began the division within the black community. As history shows, although light skinned blacks were of a higher rank than their black counterparts, they still received scraps at the end of the day (Boyd). This idea is still intact to this day when lighter skinned individuals seem to feel more inferior to darker toned people, but when you ask a Caucasian, or anyone outside of the African American race, what the light skinned individuals would be listed under its always the same response. Black. After slavery, educational institutions, clubs and other activities were reserved only for light skinned black people. In some instances, only those who were lighter than a brown paper bag (paper bag test) would be considered light enough to attend a college or an exclusive club (Boyd).

Sometimes magazines will lighten the skin of black women, just as L'oreal lightened Beyonce's Skin in a controversial makeup ad that made her appear as if she were, indeed, white. The idea of a more eurocentric look comes in to play again as we dig more into America’s perception of western beauty. Characteristics of Eurocentric beauty include: white skin, a narrow nose, blonde or brown long straight hair, and thin lips. For some reason, if you don’t fulfill these beauty standards, you are considered to be less attractive. Many questions can be raised because of this; who’s the decider of what qualifies as beautiful? As cliched as it may sound, beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder, despite what some people may think.

For some, the views and the opinions of others are too much to bare and consider procedures and different cosmetic products as a way to achieve the ever popular “eurocentric” look that they aspire to have. Although this may sound fine and dandy, the procedures and products bring more risks than they do good. Skin bleaching creams have become hot commodity in the black market beauty world. In a world where the only thing that is seen as beautiful is light skin, can others be to blame for the society that they are a product of? These toxic creams strip the skin of its melanin. Although the person achieves the look they intended to reach, their skin is now weak because of the components said products are composed of. On the other hand, everyone is entitled to self happiness, but the real question is are they ready to face all of the possible repercussions of skin bleaching? That is left for the person to decide.

This is a topic that won’t ever die because people refuse to stop being ignorant, which is evident by Twitter hashtags like #teamlightskin or #teamdarkskin, where people feud and try to prove who’s better based on skin color. Even when various YouTube searches on the topic are pulled up, thousands of results of people - some who try to diffuse the topic, while others add their foolish input. The fact that this topic still remains relevant is ridiculous.

According to “The Skin Color Paradox and the American Racial Order,” Dark-skin discrimination occurs within as well as across races (Turner). This idea is known to be true in an assortment of different cultures, most notably in the caste system set in India. The caste system is in place to form a structured society for the people of India based on one’s skin color. The lighter a person is, the more power that person holds, while the darker they are makes them more prone to living a harder life. Although life shouldn’t be that way for any human being, the darker toned Indians, often called the “untouchables,” are subject to hard labor throughout their lives.

To conclude, in many different cultures and countries around the world, skin color plays a huge role in the concept of beauty. Although light skin may be more preferable, those with darker skin still find their way in society. No matter what adversity they may have faced getting there, they eventually find solace in knowing that they’re on a road to success.The African American community must join together to show that they are more than just a skin, they are people. Although this may be a rather taboo subject, it needs to be brought to the forefront so it can finally be put to rest. The culture must move past those years of oppression and look to the future and what it has to offer. If the culture continues it current ways, then the oppression will always be there; the cycle must stop and the time has been long overdue. Even though the media has made steps in the right direction to show darker African Americans in a better light, the process must be stepped up a couple of notches to get real results. To reiterate, the color of the skin that you were born with should be just that. What a person makes of themselves and all of their aspirations should be what they’re judged on, not their skin color. It doesn’t matter where an African American falls on the spectrum of color because at the end of the day, they’re still black.

[khalilhumam]

How indigenous women in Canada heal through art

New Post has been published on http://khalilhumam.com/how-indigenous-women-in-canada-heal-through-art/

How indigenous women in Canada heal through art

Indigenous women in Canada suffer high rates of violence

“Fringe”, by artist Rebecca Belmore. Photo taken by the author at the Exhibit “Rebecca Belmore: Facing the Monumental“, at Montreal's Musée d'art Contemporain in 2019

In the Canadian winter of 2002, passers-by walking through Vancouver’s Downtown East Side could see Rebecca Belmore, from the Indigenous Anishinaabe Nation, nailing her long red dress to a telephone pole. She struggled to free herself, and then once released, her dress hanging in tatters and her underwear exposed, she silently read the names of the missing women that she had written on her arm. She concluded her performance by shouting the names one by one. Belmore is a multidisciplinary artist, and this is part of her work, called “Vigil”. Through it, she commemorates the lives of the missing and murdered Indigenous women who have disappeared from the streets of Vancouver. She wants “to let each woman know that she is not forgotten: her spirit is evoked, and she is given life by the power of naming”. The performance, now shown in a video in Belmore's exhibits, may surprise distracted observers, but the reality is that in Canada — frequently ranked at the top of lists rating global quality of life – Indigenous women suffer high rates of violence. In 2014, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) confirmed that 1,017 indigenous women have been murdered and that 164 have disappeared since 1980, even though indigenous women only constitute 4.3 percent of the country's female population.

“Vigil”, by artist Rebecca Belmore. Photo taken by the author at the Exhibit “Rebecca Belmore: Facing the Monumental“, at Montreal's Musé d'art Contemporain, in 2019

Research conducted by the Native Women's Association of Canada (NWAC) has found that aboriginal women are almost three times more likely than non-aboriginal to be killed by a stranger. Women and girls are either murdered by strangers (16.5 percent of the time), acquaintances (17 percent), or a partner (23 percent). [Is this last stat for all women or for indigenous women?] NWAC’s research concludes that aboriginal women experience violence by both aboriginal and non-aboriginal offenders, the vast majority of whom are men. It also reveals that only 53 percent of murder cases involving aboriginal women and girls have resulted in charges of homicide — well below the 84 percent national clearance rate for homicides in the country. The association Quebec Native Women (QNW) has stated that before the arrival of Europeans, indigenous women played an essential role in the health, spirituality, education, economy and politics of their communities. This dynamic changed drastically through the imposition of “European patriarchy” policies, which have continued to the present. According to researchers from various Canadian universities, such as Marie-Pierre Bousquet and Sigfrid Tremblay, systematic colonialist policies imposed by the Canadian federal government have sought to assimilate indigenous people into a Euro-Canadian lifestyle, thereby eroding native culture and identity. One such policy is the Indian Act, in force since 1876,  which dictates how the federal government rules on matters related to indigenous people. Originally aimed at the progressive extinction of Canada's indigenous population, anthropologist Pierre Lepage says this law still affects their legal capacity and undermines their autonomy. QNW calls this “erasure ideology”, which began with “the progressive theft of the territories” of indigenous women and forced them to go “from loss to loss” of resources, autonomy, identity, and culture. For QNW, the consequences of colonialism include the disadvantageous socio-economic context in which indigenous women live today, which in turn leads to increased risks to their very existence. In fact, violence against indigenous women in Canada has been called genocide. To overcome their suffering, indigenous women have denounced and resisted a colonialist, racist, and sexist system. Slowly but surely, art has become an important tool for both expression and catharsis, allowing them to reclaim an alternative, incisive, and heartbreaking version of their history while coming to terms with society's role in their current challenges as well. Here are some of their most stirring artistic expressions:

“1181”, by Rebecca Belmore (2014)

Nails — all 1181 of them — were hammered by Belmore onto a tree stump, each one representing a case of murdered and missing indigenous women recorded by police statistics.

“1181”, by artist Rebecca Belmore. Photo taken by the author in the Exhibit “Rebecca Belmore: Facing the Monumental“, at Montreal's Musé d'art Contemporain in 2019

“Fringe”, by Rebecca Belmore (2007)

The artwork is a photo of a half-naked woman lying on her side, her back to the camera, on which she has a sewn scar running from her shoulder all the way down, and from which red beads, symbolic of blood, are spilling out.

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Rebecca Belmore, Fringe, Cibachrome transparency in fluorescent lightbox. Installation view, Remai Modern 2019. – Rebecca Belmore: Facing the Monumental is on view until May 5 at Remai Modern. – Join a free with admission drop-in tour of the exhibition this weekend at 1 PM on Saturday and Sunday. – Facing the Monumental is organized by the Art Gallery of Ontario and curated by Wanda Nanibush, Curator, Indigenous Art. – #belmoreremaimodern #fringe #rebeccabelmore #yxe #saskatoon

A post shared by Remai Modern (@remaimodern) on Mar 16, 2019 at 9:16am PDT

//www.instagram.com/embed.js Belmore says of the piece, “[I]t’s the body that doesn’t disappear.” In her work, the artist often depicts the female body with healing wounds, such as those carried by many survivors, to demonstrate the resilience of indigenous women.

“Walking with our Sisters”, by Christi Belcourt (2012-present)

Artist Christi Belcourt, a Métis, who is mixed race (white and indigenous), produced an installation which places about 1,763 pairs of fine beaded vamps of moccasins on the ground, each one representing a missing or murdered woman, as well as the children who never returned home after going to residential schools, responsible for the systemic separation of indigenous children from their families and culture.

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A post shared by Walking With Our Sisters TO (@wwos_to) on Nov 16, 2017 at 7:34am PST

//www.instagram.com/embed.js

“REDress Project”, by Jamie Black (2011)

This installation involved the collection of 600 red dresses, a color which symbolised protection against violence, through community donations. Black, who like Belcourt is a Métis artist, wanted the work to be an aesthetic response to violence against women. Through the absence of the female bodies who should wear the dresses, she creates a visual reminder of the great number of women who are absent.

Images of the “ReDress” project. The photo on the left was taken by Jamie Black and the one on the right, by Sarah Crawley. They are used with permission.

“The Three Graces”, by Kent Monkman (2014)

Monkman, a Cree and Irish artist, is known for creating strong visual criticism that embeds alternative versions of colonialism's dominant narrative, all from a personal and indigenous perspective. Through irony, Monkman denounces violence against indigenous women, including the sexual exploitation of and prejudice against those working in the sex industry. His painting “Le petit déjeuner sur l’herbe”, for example, shows naked prostitutes sprawled in front of a hotel in Winnipeg, a province where around 70 to 80 percent of street prostitution is carried out by indigenous women. In “The Three Graces”, Monkman's version of Rubens’ homonymous painting, the goddesses of charm, beauty, and creativity are represented as three indigenous, body-diverse-women. With this piece, Monkman honors the “missing and murdered sisters”. “In Canada,” he said, “there is a lot of violence against Indigenous women […] over 1,300 missing and murdered.” As an outspoken critic of mainstream society's lack of understanding of indigenous people, Monkman also strives to highlight the power of indigenous women's femininity, which is highly respected in indigenous tradition.

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"Every year on this day, we remember our missing and murdered sisters. Our relatives on unceded Wet’suwet’en lands hung red dresses to hold the spirits of the thousands who have been lost, but never forgotten. Their camp was illegally invaded and the dresses torn down. But we remember our sisters, children, daughters, mothers, partners, aunties, friends, and grandmothers. We remember them always. The Unist’ot’en do not consent to industrial work camps on their territories. These man camps increase violence against our sisters all across our lands. Those protecting their sisters also protect the land. They do it with love, sâkihiwêwin. They do it for all of us." – Miss Chief Eagle Testickle https://unistoten.camp/mancamps/ https://www.mmiwg-ffada.ca/final-report/ The Three Graces Kent Monkman 2017 Acrylic on canvas 60” x 48” #MMIW #MMIWGT2S #highwayoftears #Indigenousrights #UNDRIP #WETSUWETENSTRONG

A post shared by Kent Monkman (@kentmonkman) on Feb 14, 2020 at 8:08am PST

//www.instagram.com/embed.js Indigenous art is therapy for both individual and collective suffering. According to the Health and Social Services Commission, it promotes resilience and has a positive effect on identity, self-esteem, emotional well-being, and physical and mental health. Art, as an educational tool, could also serve to hold the Canadian government accountable for its policies and promote an authentic reconciliation process.

Written by Sabrina Velandia

[thehygieneguru]

What kind of change is possible and desirable?

Possible -

To educate girls about menarche and what will happen to their body in this life changing phase. As for women, menstruation hygiene management is an important matter in a women’s life. Especially women in less fortunate countries that use a menstrual cloth, they are highly exposed to infections and allergies if the cloth is not washed and dried in the right way.

This is where my intervention comes to use. A campaign to raise awareness about such matters can create a possible change.

As an educated community we have responsibility to continue the conversation on period poverty to ensure a healthy and bright future for girls everywhere.

Desirable

Throughout my readings I came across the word “taboo” several times, and it made me think how this cultural norm control’s people behavior. They hinder open discussions around vaginal bleeding restricting information and early access to health care and well being. Taboo leads to death of young girls in several places around the world i.e - in the deep Himalayas in Nepal.

Chhaupadi is a practice in Nepal where women are banished from their homes every month when they get their periods because they are viewed as polluted and toxic. As a result, the taboo was constructed to built separate huts for some in their period to sleep in. The hut’s space is tiny and walls are made of rocks or mud. They are badly built because they are built by the women themselves without help from men. Many women died while inhaling smoke while they were trying to keep themselves warm from the bitter winter. Also, some women died by getting attacked from animals.

These practices are undertaken in the name of protecting the purity of the community. This is why it’s hard for individuals to change them.

Even though it's a dangerous custom to do, some women keep doing it because of the social pressure or guilt.

The desirable change I want to see is to address the shame and silence around girl’s and women’s vaginal bleeding and their related social, physical and clinical management needed across their lives. In order to address shame, we must first address when, how and where we discuss menstruation. And to break free from Taboos that put life of women in danger.

Stakeholders

Are the unfortunate women who have limited to no access to the knowledge and tools needed to manage menstruation. In addition, to women who suffer from extreme cultural taboos that can sometimes threaten their lives.

In addition, to the many organizations involved such as charity groups, world famous companies such as Always, Cora, ilo etc who are actively working to end period poverty.

I contacted bloody good period, they are a group that provide education about female sexual reproductive health to asylum seekers, refugees and people who can not normally access it.

They set up programs that provides free female reproductive health education to asylum seekers, refugees, and people that cannot normally access it. Bloody Good Education sessions are monthly, and take place in some of the different drop-in centers that we currently operate based in London.

I have sent them an email about some doubts I had during my research which were;

1- How is the information delivered to these women?

2- Do you take in mind people who come from cultures that are preserved and will not be able to open up easily?

3- What kind of approach is taken to educate those women?

4- Since some women are asylum seekers, they come from backgrounds where they are strongly committed to the taboos that are set by their cultures, and find breaking free from them difficult because of the social pressure or guilt. What kind of approach do you take to help them?

And got this feedback from them-

Hi Sara,

Thanks so much for your email - it seems you're doing truly worthwhile work at CSM and though your trip to Rohingya has been reshaped, its great to hear you're still putting your energy into the menstrual health and hygiene movement.

Unfortunately we are pretty stacked as a tiny but mighty team. So I kindly ask you to check out our education programme website were a bunch of your above questions will be answered. As I'm conscious that some of your pointers will remain unresolved; BGP's number one priority is responding to the women and people that menstruate that we work with, and their needs are essentially how we operate. Thus, we always keep in mind and encourage them to vocalize their (cultural) understanding of issues, and take an overly cautious approach to meeting them where they are.

We champion active listening, empathy and informed choice for each and every person that we provide menstrual supplies and education to, a great example of this is how we don't provide the women we work with with menstrual cups - something you can read more about on our FAQs. Hope this is helpful!

Thanks again for your interest and stay safe.

Hannah

I was also advised to have more open ended questions when approaching my next stakeholders and to present all my work and question in a presentation.

My next stakeholder is plan international

Plan International. They are an independent development and humanitarian organization that advances children’s rights and equality for girls. They strive for a just world, working together with children, young people, or supporters and partners. They are helping Rohingya refugees who have fled to Cox’s Bazar in Bangladesh by responding to their desperate need of sanitation and hygiene facilities.

I am planning to contact them and show them the video I created for Rohingya refugee camp and search for an opportunity where the campaign I have created could be showcased in those camps.

GOOD RESPONSE!!

With refugees

Is a humanitarian group that visits refugee camps to inspect, conduct research and find out what people need. A friend of mine is part of that group, and she was going to be part of the group that will visit the Rohingya refugee camp.

She was one of stakeholders, through her I was able to test my video and get feedback to do the iterations necessary.

1- the graphics that I created were black and white; so she suggested that I color them to make them more visually appealing.

2- There was so much going on in each picture, so she suggested that I focus on the important action that’s happening to avoid the viewers from getting distracted by other things.

3- She suggested that I divide the video into 4 parts. (a) wash (b) dry (c) storage (d) disposal.

4- She suggested that I add a title to what each part is in their language to make it more clear.

Also, I got the chance to ask her about the menstrual situation with women there and got information from her.

“ women in refugee camps are back to using cloth during menstruation, just like old times which causes a lot of infections and diseases. Also, most of the communities lack the awareness of menstruation hygiene and are conservative when it comes to such sensitive topics as part of their cultural beliefs.

Regarding bathrooms, they lack access to clean and private bathrooms because it’s either being shared with several other camps, or it is far away from the camp which is unsafe for women to go to at night.”

Organizations involved

Always, Cora, ilo etc who are actively working to end period poverty.

UNICEF

Menstrual health and hygiene is one of UNICEF's top priorities for adolescent girls. With partners, UNICEF brings critical menstrual health information, facilities and supplies to adolescent girls in low-resource and crisis-affected areas around the world. UNICEF also works with governments to ensure girl-friendly policies and services, including the WinS4Girls programme, which influenced national policies in 14 countries, reaching thousands of adolescents.

They created a comic book as a guide for menstruation for both girls and boys. Comic books changed attitudes towards menstruation drastically. 95% of boys felt it was wrong to bully menstruating girls.

Problems identified

1- Menarche; difficulties and coping

2- Lack of knowledge

3-Fear and shame associated with menstruation and its affects on the economy and community as a whole

4-Taboos and its affect on people’s behavior

5-ideas to solve shame and fear around menstruation

6-period poverty and its affects

7- religious views on menstruation

How would they be effected by this type of change?

The change will not be not be an easy task to achieve. The silence and negative messages about menstruation has been passed on and enforced by generation of women.

-Menstrual hygiene management will help women to avoid infections and diseases.

-The prior knowledge to menarche is something really important to address. Fear of leaking at school was dominant, where students stand up to respond to a teacher revealing their soiled dress. As a result, many girls miss out on school when they are on their period fearing off getting bullied or teased by the boys in the class. They also found it hard to focus fearing the odor off the menstrual blood.

Menstruation is literally ruining the education of girls around the world. Future earnings grow with every year as a result of primary education; so when a girl receives education she will marry later, have healthier children and is less likely to experience sexual violence.

People who bleed make half of the population and when a proportion of these miss out on basic education because they are too ashamed or due to culture, lack of menstrual resources etc, it affects the whole world.

According to the guardian, 1% increase in the population of women with secondary education, increases a country’s annual per capita income by 0.3%.

Consequently, visual media(video) will act as a tool viewers to understand the information as they will be able to develop their own perception of the content and avoid misinterpretation. It will address this matter in a simple and straightforward way.

Unicef created a comic book(visuals) for both girls and boys about menstruation. It resulted in a drastic change in the attitudes where 95% of the boys felt it was wrong to bully menstruating girls.

Would they welcome it? Oppose it?

These communities are dominated by their cultural beliefs as well as the taboos set by their society. Breaking free from them is a difficult and almost impossible thing to do because of the societal pressure and sometimes feeling of guilt. Normally, many people refuse change because they are used to living in a certain way, even if sometimes they do it in the wrong way. But, tiny twitches around these procedures in addition to providing them with the basic knowledge needed is important for them to welcome this new change.

What power or agency do they have in this situation?

This project is highly based on the improving of the level of knowledge of displaced women, and women who live in less developed countries. They have the full power in this situation as they can be regarded as stakeholders as weak as gate holders.

[slashbeats2-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

sasha grey masturbator "Masturbation... is not approved of the Lord none this cathedral, regardless of what could be said by those in whose 'norms' are lower", Chief executive Kimball of the Ceremony associated with Jesus Christ connected with Latter-Day New orleans saints (1981) "Every sperm is actually sacred. Every sperm is excellent. If the sperm is squandered, Our god gets quite irate. inch Monty Python's What it means regarding Life. A price generally used by various chapels in an effort for you to contain illicit serves amongst its people. Every single monserga on masturbation might quote it, at least all the sermons I have noticed. Within the circumstances, is it difficult to picture masturbation as one of the actual biggest taboos in our own society? Even today? Medical education has done a new little to change it. Does that mean women and men no longer masturbate? Certainly not. 99% of men and 70% of females masturbate according to various studies. The challenge lies in the acceptance of the fact this you masturbate. Actually a new story... a story about you. 1 night a person were sitting alone throughout your apartment eating french fries. You decided to look at out some new web sites on the net while you eat. So you diary on to your internet connection and also start surfing. Inadvertently, you come across some piece of pornography(yes, online is quite whole of it! ) Looking at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley amongst the legs. One factor leads to an additional in addition to you end up going bad your own underpants. Now enable me tell you one more story. best masturbator One night you had been sitting alone in any pub drinking beer. In addition to then a most lovely person goes in the bar. The person that causes tingling between your hip and legs just considering him or her. You decide that you can't get rid of this particular opportunity to get to know fantastic creation of god. And that means you move in the direction of this person and commence little talk. One thing brings about another and you finish up in your own condominium. Whether you are any woman or perhaps a man, often the next morning you actually more than likely be jumping along with happiness in the first circumstance. When you go out there in the night in order to meet your friends, you actually would not tell these about the hot internet site you found and just how anyone jerked off for you to it. Nonetheless, in the particular second case, you'd be better with informing anyone who cared to be able to listen how you possessed one of the most wonderful experience connected with your life yesterday. The reason? Well, maybe simply because do it yourself pleasure is, effectively, almost nothing special. You can complete that anytime you need. Of course seducing the person of your wishes is very an accomplishment. Zero wonder you may need an viewers. But what if you have some sort of friend like me. A pal who is crazy enough to ask you did a person wank off yesterday nights? Has been it good? What will you do then? Would likely you inform your friend about the hot internet site and also your experience? Would a person easily say, "Yeah! This was good! What concerning you? " Or even will you pretend nothing possessed happened and lie... something like you were somewhere else yesterday night, or maybe lead your friend to be able to believe you got happy having someone? I are guessing you would probably do often the latter. Most certainly you may not acknowledge the act involving masturbation. Rather you will avert the question in addition to change the topic. And when your close friend tells a person about a hot cure the same night, a person would wish you had a dish of water when you may drown. Shame in addition to guilt would come over you and you would transform the topic in double quick time. Are you crazy? Noway! You will be just one of the majority. And quite a majority with that! Way more the vast majority that what George Rose bush had in the continue elections! The reason why -social health! You are similar to the youngster who ran out of your theatre hall that was testing an adult film (mind an individual, he had zero business of a person there inside the first place! Nevertheless all the cinemas care in relation to is the selling connected with their tickets! ) Later on in the day, the actual pal who had recently been at the movies having him, caught up along with him or her and asked, "Why from the hell's name do an individual run out? " The child answered, "My mom explained that if I watched a woman obtaining naked I would transform to gemstone. And really you Harry, a aspect of me was actually turning into stone! " Unfortunately, the social conditioning is actually inappropriate. It is since wrong as being the social situation in 18-19th hundred years Indian, where widows were obligated to burn still living with their husbands. As drastically wrong as the church has been in burning up Galileo to get implying the Earth was not really the centre with the galaxy. Lily Tomlin put it greatest, "We have great believe that man first strolled upright to free the hands for masturbation! " If god didn't desire us to masturbate, might be we would still become walking such as dogs in addition to horses! Often the social health is a result of several myths, lies along with frauds perpetrated by several individuals with regard to personal help. Unfortunately, that conditioning will be like a hard nut, very tough to fracture. However, with effort along with chanelising your energies, you can break it. Remember, often the nuts that crack the toughest, are often the people that taste the top! A person must be wondering, what sort of hell does it make a difference if you believe guilty about fleshlight. Why should you spend time smashing this cased characters? Certain clinical psychologists believe that remorse mindful, whether sexual sense of guilt or maybe in any other application form, is the most detrimental element for the mental wellness. Others believe it is one of the most destructive. However the biggest effect connected with guilt conscious if you ask me provides been a lack of confidence with self. Right now you are an smart reader. I don't need to describe you the actual importance of self assurance. Be it your career, romantic relationships or any different aspect of life, lack associated with self-confidence can bring your current downfall. Now I am not implying that will you start to feel more relaxed with regards to masturbation, you would certainly succeed in most factors of life. But it might be a nice step to help take. A useless sense of guilt that should, and will be exterminated from your mind. Keep in mind, an ocean is manufactured of small droplets associated with water. Do away with a decline at a time and due time, the underwater would be empty! Connected with course it would take a number of millennia! Fortunately, you don't have an ocean brimming with guily! Just some naggings in some places! The first step towards eradication of this shame is knowledge. There are actually thousands of myths around masturbation. Most of them perpetrated by foi, unfortunately. Although some perpetrated by means of fraud runners. Lets take a look at often the most important ones. one. Fleshlight is against the particular will regarding god. Hokum. At one particular point typically the church regarded anyone who was overtly enthusiastic to help his wife a great adultrater. Follow that educating in addition to your wife would end up being committing adultery! Several clergymen have become on record to be able to say that not simply the church's coaching concerning sexuality were unrelated to help the scriptures, but they will caused more harm in comparison with good amongst people. In addition to, nowhere in the non secular theories of any major religions is masturbation deemed inappropriate. 2. Masturbation will probably cause erectile dysfunction. Most males and even several girls seem to think consequently. Wrong again. Lets undertake the repair of the males first. It truly is understandable that seeing their own sperm flow out associated with themselves, they think it may end at some point. Nicely, it will end 1 day... maybe when you are generally 100 years old. Although until then don't worry. Your sperm bank is fairly unlike Standard Chartered. You might have unlimited credit here! Ejaculate is a completely alternative learning resource, renewable on a great hourly schedule! For ladies, well, there is zero basis in the idea. Probably perpetrated by aged ladies who never had an orgasm in their very own entire life! a few. Fleshlight causes acne, baldness, skin area diseases. This one is my favorite. Mainly due to the fact it is one of many better scams of all occasions! Your social conditioning might have you feel that fleshlight is not particularly healthy. But poor how? Not a soul would offer you a satisfying answer! Now some scam music artists saw this as a great good opportunity to will sell their products like frizzy hair growth lotions, etc. Due to the fact most people start masturbating during their teens, (the occasions of pimple and additional skin problems), they would possess you believe that that is caused by masturbation! Unfortunately for them, it is because untrue as the sunlight rising from the to the west! Fleshlight has no real side effects! 5. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny! Then there is no need for diet program pills and fitness routines my friend! And nearly all certainly 70% of STATES wouldn't be overweight! your five. Solely Kids masturbate! The reason why do you say that? My spouse and i wonder! Effectively quite incorrect, most grownups masturbate... yes even after marital relationship! six. Masturbation is for adult males. And it is regarding 70% from the women far too. That's right, 2/3 involving all females masturbate! 7. Only losers masturbate! A different of my favorites. Just simply goes to show merely how much of the taboo is masturbation! First thing, 00% of males and also 70 percent of females include masturbated at least once within their lifestyles. Now which is a hell of the lot of losers avoid you assume! Nothing a lot more that I can add truly... this is really the particular supreme insecurity amongst persons about self pleasure. eight. Fleshlight is for homosexuals. Wow. Exactly where did this one originate! A person should make a etymology of these myths, would make regarding an useful read! Only as untrue as most these myths, masturbation and homosexuality have nothing in keeping. Some people masturbate to be able to their fantasies of other sex, other people to their fantasies of exact same love-making. That's it. on the lookout for. Masturbation will make you sightless! Others claim that fleshlight is bad for your own personal eyesight. However , their claims are unsupported by information and health advice. I suggest you talk in order to your typical physician along with he will reveal anyone what a load of bull this is. 15. Masturbation changes the form of your penile Properly, it does make the idea rock hard. But believe myself, once you orgasm, the hardness is fully gone! So no. Fleshlight provides absolutely no impact on how your penis seems.

[racebasedsexedsociology116]

A Social Issue Regarding Sex Ed

Throughout our lives, People of Color face sex in a much different way than White people. Often over-sexualized, fetished, or rejected, People of color’s sexual experience largely shapes their sexual health. Often times, these conditions in which their sexual experience is shaped often leaves negative emotions, and possibly traumas later on. These issues are often not addressed in Sex Education and often leaves kids of color disenfranchised and marginalized later in life. Schools continue to show implictly based Sex Education that is geared towards white middle class adolescents.

In order to gain a deeper understanding as to why this sort of bias appears in Sex Education, we must look at the history of bias against people of color in a white patriarchal society. The deep beginnings of this bias begins with slavey of course. During the era of slavery, we begin to see the sexual abuse of people of color. During America’s founding, Natives were often raped and killed, along with the slaves that would later be taken from Africa. This treatment lasted for centuries, leading with people of color, specifically black people, being the targets of sexually-related crimes. Post-Slavery, Black men were often falsely accused by white women, specifcally during the Jim Crow Era, of sexually assaulting them, in order to find excuses to publicly lynch said men.

Along with these historical factors, we see other institutional policies that Marginalize people of color. One specific policy that continues to affect communities is Redlining. Redlining, “derives its name from lenders’ practice of taking a city map and drawing in red ink a border around non- white neighborhoods, marking them as too risky for loans or subsidied.” (Desmond and Emirbayer, 2015) This practice made it easier to target communities of color, providing them with less funding than majority white communities, and drastically different qualities of education, often being much worse than white communities. This is characterized by underpaid teachers, outdated textbooks, and rundown supplies and technology.

On Top of all of this, racism is still a very prominent aspect of society, with people’s ingrained societal biases against people of color, and constant parodying portrayal in media. People today have certain beliefs about people of color, and specifically certain stereotypes about the sexuality of people of color. These beliefs include that Asian women are exotic, Black women are promiscuous, and Latina women are supposed to be teen moms. “Young women of color are particularly plagued by over-sexualization and the imperative to not be "the wrong kind of girl" (Fields).” (Hoefer and Hoefer, 2017) This racism also develops for Men of color as well, being shown in stereotyping their bodies for certain expectations, and developing certain sexual expectations as well.

As the Corrina text states, Cultural influence dictate what is considered to be an overt or covert sexual message. Different cultures have different views as to what is sexual and often times, most cultures that do not belong to White or European countries often have very strict and conservative views on sexuality. In conjunction with this, Sexuality is often considered taboo, which can lead to sexual repression and unhealthy acts of sexual expression. (Corrina, 2016)

These issues are imperative to address in relation to one’s sexual health. One principle of one’s sexual health is the ethics involved in the behaviors and actions one enacts while engaging with another person. As stated by the World Association For Sexual Health, everyone has, “The right to equality and non-discrimination.” (World Association for Sexual Health, 2014) This right extends to those of all races and ethnicity, claiming that all have the right to enjoy all sexual activity, regardless of identity. Under the principle of ethics, it is important to recognize the years and years of marginalization and oppression one faces. It is also important to incorporate an intersectional perspective when approaching sexual activity. These can improve the sexual health of people of color when combating the marginalization they face in regards to their seuality. This extends into fighting stereotypes of the bodies of people of color, and other sexual stereotypes society may hold.

As a solution to these injustices that people of color face in regards to the sexual injustices that people of color face daily due to societal beliefs, it is imperative that there is a comprehesive Sex Education Ciricculum that a) Guides students of color through the sexual marginalization they may experience, and b) aid white students in unpacking biases/beliefs and aiding them in becoming better allies for people of color. “Students deserve medically accurate, useful information that prepares them to assume the responsibilities of their sexual conduct. Moreover, students deserve an educational environment in which they are allowed to express curiosity free from shame, ridicule, or the imposition of lawmakers' or individual educators' opinions on morality.” (Hoefer and Hoefer, 2017) This curriculum will target the beliefs and stereotypes that surround people of color’s sexuality, and unpack and debunk them. It will do this by first identifying the problem, then unpacking the issue, and finally discussing how to help dismiss said biases. (838)

References

Corinna, H. (2016). S.E.X. The all-you-need-to-know sexuality guide to get you through your teens and twenties. (2nd ed.). Boston, MA: Hachette Book Group.

Desmond, M., & Emirbayer, M. (2016). Race in America.

Hoefer, S. E., & Hoefer, R. (2017). Worth the wait? The consequences of abstinence-only sex education for marginalized students. American Journal of Sexuality Education, 12(3), 257–276. https://doi-org.ezproxysuf.flo.org/10.1080/15546128.2017.1359802

World Association for Sexual Health (2014). Declaration of sexual rights.

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Eckhart Tolle, extremely reputable for his transformative manuals The Power of Currently and A New Planet, is actually a contemporary metaphysical educator whose job focuses on the transformation from individual consciousness. They are worthy of backing and support in their personal right, however, for tactical reasons, they are actually a major source of untapped Iranian smooth power in the location as well as worldwide. Occasionally, you should look at seeing inspirational films, to keep driving you for even more. This's thus good to know that I don't have to always keep revving up my incentive, however somewhat bear in mind, assess and refocus the authentic motivation that obtained me started. You could not have the power to regulate the resource from your anxiety, yet you possess complete control over your thought and feelings and also action to that. 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By now I'm pretty pleasant allowing that I am actually not rational and that other people may not be either and also analytical thinking is unusual to possibly to almost everybody and Kahneman's manual merrily validates my viewpoint. It is worn out into our minds that since we can certainly not speak the exact same language, our team can easily certainly not inquire pets what they feel and think, and thus this a sacrilege to anthropomorphize their activities. In some ways it's unexpected exactly how little bit of improvements year over year in the ThinkPad design, as Lenovo has actually presented it can do drastically present day styles along with its IdeaPad individual line. One last details: unlike Lenovo's Doing yoga and Flex lines, the ThinkPad 10 is a specialized tablet computer first, as well as merely installs over a computer keyboard. Inspiration in such cultures comes up from discovering creative solutions to concerns, consistently boosting, and empowering dexterity. In addition, people would quickly weary from possessing a poll taker call all of them each month, year after year, to ask them about occupational tasks.

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Gender Inequalities in Global Sport

Gender Inequalities in Global Sport

 Gender inequality; An Introduction

For those who study sport or society, gender relations is a substantial focus point. It is pivotal to understand why sport has been "defined as men's activities" (Coakley, 2001), [i] as well as why approximately 50% of the World's population has been dismayed from participating within sport. "Women's under-representation in the organisational and administrative structures of sport is a worldwide phenomenon." (Houlihan, 2003) [ii]Which leads onto my main line of argument; Why does  gender inequality exist, where did it originate from and how can it be tackled?

Gender inequality is the ideology that women and men are not equal and whereas equality between genders has gradually improved in recent years, there still remains an unbalance between men and women within sport and society. To be precise, only 5% of all media coverage goes towards women's sport, a transparent indication that there remains a drastic inequality between men and women. Maguire supports this stating how Women have an "inferior status to men." (Maguire et al., 2002)[iii] within sport due to media reflection. Due to male dominance within the media, there is a "masculine ethos that pervades sport." (Houlihan, 2003) [iv] which illustrates as to why there is such a lack of gender balance in the industry. But inequality doesn't just exist in sport, the lack of balance between men and women is abundantly clear in large portions of society. For example in politics, a women's right to vote was only legalised as late as 1928 and until 2015, there had never been more than 5% of female MP's in cabinet.

Gender inequality arose within sport in the early 1800's due to male dominance upon society and their similar views which also surrounded sport. Whannel's (1983) suggestion was that male dominance was socially constructed into British sport. [v] Sport was viewed as a homosocial space by  men for men in which ultimately prevented women from participating in sport. The homosocial theory was suppose to protect boys from feminising society, as well as demonstrating masculinity and male superiority which could have only been achieved with female exclusion.  This also applied to children and was implemented into education and school curriculum's across the country. While boys were taught physical activities, girls learned about household activities such as cooking and sewing. The main example of contrast between girls and boys is differing groups like scouts and brownies. The scouts is a worldwide association established between 1910-1912, a system set up for young boys briefly prior to the first world war in order to educate young boys about male preserve, as well as a means of propaganda to represent their youth as being masculine and strong. Brownies and girl scouts later on were established, however they differ widely from their male counterparts. But Gender inequality doesn't just apply to the mistreating of women. Ideologies within society has put pressure on men to be masculine, strong and brave which further exercises the struggle to seek help because, it is difficult to be honest with their feelings and emotions. The imbalance between genders strongly affects both male and female.

Gender inequality; Examples in Sport

Both past and present, inequality between genders is paramount within sport. "The different structures of masculinity and femininity have historically influenced the development of sport." (Jarvie, 2006) [vi]  Sport is no more ideally suited to men rather than women but has been "comprehensively masculinised through its history of male control." (Houlihan, 2003)[vii]  While gender equality within sport is gradually improving, men and women were previously viewed differently with men seen to be stronger and more superior. Pierre de Coubertin, founder of the modern Olympic games opposed women participation in sport in the 1930's, stating that women should be expelled from the Olympic games. (McPherson et al, 1989) [viii]  Women's Olympics was established in 1928, two years prior to Coubertin's comments  and it was until 2012, where every participating country had female athletes at the Olympics. In contrast, male sport dominates the media with a staggering 92% circling around male sport.

More recently, the rise of objectification and sexualisation of the body has put pressure on both female and male sports participants. To be precise, compare the clothing of male beach volley ball players to female beach volley ball players in the Olympics and other sporting events. The relationship between objectification and marketing has victimised women in sport to dress or act differently in order to gain media recognition and popularity. For example, Lingerie Football League in America, Canada and Australia highlights women's sexuality being abused for marketability. In 2013, the Lingerie football league gained an extra 50% of views in comparison to a top flight men's Australian football match, racking up approximately 280,000 views. In addition, ring side girls in boxing dressing in a way similar to beach volleyball or lingerie football participants seems completely pointless, other than to gain popularity and to be used as a marketing scheme. (https://twitter.com/Natpirks/status/857931082225905664) A reason why Gender inequality is still prominent in sport towards women is due to wealth and marketing being prioritised over an individual and therefore women's body being sexualised in order to gain marketing success.

While sexualisation focuses mostly on women, men also suffer from Gender inequality within sport. Due ideologies previously mentioned surrounding masculinity, homophobia in sport impacts men heavily and whereas, women also suffer this abuse, it has a larger impact on men because of physicality shown in competitive male sports. Justin Fashanu remains to date, the only ever open homosexual footballer who has ever played in the Premier League. However, because of homophobia in the media, Justin took his own life in 1998. ( http://blogs.brighton.ac.uk/sasm/.2014/02/10/football-4-peace-v-homophobia-at-sussex-downs-college-2/. ) More recently, Ex Leeds United winger, Robbie Rodgers openly came out as homosexual in 2013, briefly retiring before signing for LA Galaxy only a few weeks later. He still remains the only homosexual male individual in football highlighting the intimidation it has on male participants in sport to come out as gay. But homophobia doesn't just affect men. "It is a powerful cultural factor that has, among other things, discouraged many girls and women from playing sports." (Coakley, 2001) [ix]

Gender Inequality; Media Influence

Twenty first century sport is dominated and controlled by the media. "By its very definition the sports media is sport mediated by the media" (Jarvie, 2006) [x] which indicates as to why various issues remain layered under the natural beauty of sport. Issues such as, racism, gender inequality, homophobia, injury and so on still occur today but are opaque to the public eye due media manipulation. However, I will be focusing closely on how the media influences gender inequality both negatively and also positively. "Media coverage has been a major contributor to perceptions of sport's limited relevance to women." (Houlihan, 2003) [xi] and yet despite the media's gradual improvement towards women's sport, "sport remains discriminatory and contains overwhelming masculine bias." (Houlihan, 2003) [xii] Because of this, women's sport receives between 10% and 5% of media coverage with only high level, competitive performance being broadcasted such as, the Olympics or the Women's FA Cup final. To make matters worse, the state is gradually losing its control over the media because of the "emergence of the Internet and the access to information and interpretation." (Coakley, 2001)[xiii] The emergence of social media and the internet isn't necessarily a bad thing, however society's preference to men' sport over women's sport on social media is a large factor as to why women's sport lacks so much attention from the media. Supporting this, "Power relations in society also influence the priority." (Coakley, 2001) [xiv] illustrates that society's demands are prioritised over gender equality within sport and the media.

Media influence can also have a negative impact on men involved within sport. Due to the how dominant male sport is in comparison to female sport, sport participants often feel large amounts of pressure to perform. In 2014, footballer Ross McCormack deleted his twitter account because of abuse from  football fans following his transfer to another team. The relationship between society and social media has also impacted both male and female sport. Due to society's growing impact on sport, participants and athletes become a commodity.  A commodity is something which is sold for a profit, and in this scenario, athletes and their bodies become profitable because of how dominant business and media are within sport. Consequently, this means that athletes lose the power to make decisions surrounding their body, especially while training or playing sport. For example, this applies within boxing, because boxers sell their body and their long term health when picking up head injuries while boxing, in order to make a profit but also for entertainment for society. To be more precise, Nick Blackwell went into a coma following his fight with Chris Eubank Jr. on the 26th March 2016 because he didn't 'throw in the towel'. If we had of called the fight off early, he would have received public criticism, however wouldn't have suffered the horrific injury he did. Commodified bodies, especially in physical sports like football, rugby and boxing support Brecht's infamous quote to be solid; "Great sport begins where good health ends."

Conclusion

Gender inequality doesn't just mean imbalance between genders, it highlights the problems both men and women face due to the lack of quality between genders. Whereas women suffer directly because of gender inequality, men suffer in differing ways. For example, the pressure of masculinity, homophobia, media and social pressure and so on. While gender inequality has improved and still gradually is improving, there still remains room for improvement in terms of attitudes and actions towards women within sport and society and the media can play a considerable role in improving this. "Historically women have faced formal and informal restrictions on their sports participation, and have played little role in the production of sport."  and while this is gradually progressing, "women still occupy a marginal position in sport in virtually every country in the world." (Houlihan, 2003) [xv] This highlights how archaic views and perspectives on women in sport still impact and influence society to prioritise men's sport over women's. Aside this, "the way in which particular sporting events are covered influences what people think about particular sporting actions or events." (Jarvie, 2006)  [xvi]This suggests that the media's representation of sport strongly impacts society's views and perspectives. For example, look at the media coverage the men's football World Cup has in comparison to women's football World Cup and further at how women's football is seen and followed within society. Women's World Cup final reached over 700,000 TV views in 2015, whereas the men's World Cup final reached approximately 3.2 billion views.  While this illustrates improvement in attitudes towards women's sport worldwide, it also highlights the inequality which still surrounds sport and society and the influence media has upon sport. Where this suggests the negative impact the media can have on gender inequality within sport, it too represents the power the media has, and therefore a potential solution to this ongoing problem within sport and society if attitudes and ideologies were to change around inequality between men and women.

[i] Coakley, J. Sport in Society: Issues and Controversies, McGraw-Hill, 2001

[ii] Houlihan, B. Sport & Society: A Student Introduction, SAGE, 2003

[iii] Maguire, J.A. Sport Worlds: A Sociological Perspective, Human Kinetics, 2002

[iv] Houlihan, B. Sport & Society: A Student Introduction, SAGE, 2003

[v] Whannel, G. Blowing the Whistle: The Politics of Sport, Pluto Press, 1983

[vi] Jarvie, G. Sport, Culture and Society: An Introduction, Routledge, 2006

[vii] Houlihan, B. Sport & Society: A Student Introduction, SAGE, 2003

[viii] McPherson, B. Curtis, J.E. Loy Jr,. J.W. The Social Significance of Sport: An Introduction to the Sociology of Sport, Human Kinetics Books, 1989

[ix] Coakley, J. Sport in Society: Issues and Controversies, McGraw-Hill, 2001

[x] Jarvie, G. Sport, Culture and Society: An Introduction, Routledge, 2006

[xi] Houlihan, B. Sport & Society: A Student Introduction, SAGE, 2003

[xii] Houlihan, B. Sport & Society: A Student Introduction, SAGE, 2003

[xiii] Coakley, J. Sport in Society: Issues and Controversies, McGraw-Hill, 2001

[xiv] Coakley, J. Sport in Society: Issues and Controversies, McGraw-Hill, 2001

[xv] Houlihan, B. Sport & Society: A Student Introduction, SAGE, 2003

[xvi] Jarvie, G. Sport, Culture and Society: An Introduction, Routledge, 2006