#and preschoolers (i swear to zweet JESUS IF YOU DO NOT STOP WHINING never actually came out of my mouth but it came close)

[whatimdoing-here]

Kids normally take showers now, but small fry has strep and flu both so when he asked for a bath I was like whatever you want kid. But nothing like a bath to really show you how long and skinny your kid is and you definitely have two KIDS and now babies, toddlers, preschoolers... Those stages are gone never to come back.

#and it's one thing to worry about fucking them up as babies (did i hold you too much should i have let you be more independent) #and toddlers (they both fell down at least half a flight of stairs made them both cry with an outburst once) #and preschoolers (i swear to zweet JESUS IF YOU DO NOT STOP WHINING never actually came out of my mouth but it came close) #but kids... i for sure am too tough on t dude and probably not hard enough on small fry and i worry I haven't taught them enough about #being kind and loving to everyone while also standing up for others and needing to get consent from people #and like stand up for what you believe but be careful what enemies you make because god knows if that person has a gun #like thinking about all of it its impossible to do all of it #and watching them make mistakes is hard seeing them disappointed is hard #should i have intervened did i just cause a fork in the road that will make life infinitely harder? #wow this escalated quickly #i had a great childhood my parents are amazing but not without issue but i don't fault them at all #the current problems I'm facing in my brain are all mine and nothing they did #but what if... i fuck up my kids #I would not trade these two for anything they mean absolutely everything to me #and I know why i wanted more #but it is not for the feint of heart and i will never fault anyone for not wanting to have kids #just like I would hope people don't fault me for choosing to have kids #anyway #sorry about this #personal nonsense