#and to clear the air those asks in italics are things I've been sent by other people

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How to be Hated by An RP Community: A Guide for Assholes by an Asshole

Do you RP?

Do you hate being ignored when facing the slightest bit of emotional distress?

Do you enjoy having people notice your characters but hate the pesky effort of treating your peers like actual people?

Congratulations, dear reader! You’ve taken the first step in becoming despised by every roleplayer you come into contact with! This truly is a thrilling and triumphant chapter you’re stepping into. Why there are many perks to being your grade A RPing asshole, which include crippling self esteem, isolation, depression, damaged eating/sleeping habits, decreased work quality, lower grades, loss of contact with loved ones, and even permanent emotional trauma! For some of us, this all comes naturally. However, some wide eyed newcomer walking into the RP community might not understand the basics of becoming a massive thorn on everyone’s side.

With just five easy steps, you too can become the grade A asshole your mother spent hours in labor forcing out of a narrow vulva while sobbing in sheer agony.

1.) Rules? About page? Headcanons? All those go out the door! You see, reader, nothing gives an RPer the middle finger quite like ignoring someone’s painstaking efforts in creating a character identity that is unique to their own designs while also maintaining the integrity of the original story. Yeah, their characterization is okay I guess. But you? You’ve got this in the bag, even if you gotta remind them by breaking their rules and head canons and forcing your ideas down their throats. What if they ignore you, you ask? Simple! Look into your dictionary of controversial buzzwords and slap them on their name. Because nothing say asshole quite like using serious issues that affect hundreds of thousands of people across the globe when something doesn’t go your way.

2.) Break boundaries like a real hero! When we were all little, we were told that life has no boundaries. All boundaries set up by the man are meant to be broken. All of them. Every single one. And all can be shattered with ease if you put your hands in your ears and scream “LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” loud enough. A little known secret about being a true RPer is that when we sign up, we actually make a blood oath to hell beasts for our page layout, icons, and writing skills. And in return we are expected to post a minimum of fifteen replies a day in order to appease to our overlords. RPers are expected to always stay in character and respond to your posts even during their most distressing times of their lives. School? Work? Family emergency? Their cherished pet died? PSH! Once you stubbed your toe against the nightstand and only cried for fifteen minutes. So go ahead, send in all those messages asking why they haven’t RPed all day despite posting memes or other content on their blog. When in doubt, just remember all boundaries are meant to be broken, including personal.

3.) It’s all a popularity contest! What’s that? You think that people RP for fun and to interact with new people? Yeah sure kid, you tell yourself that. The first step to building your RP account isn’t creating an interesting character. That’s too much time and work. Instead, latch onto the most popular RPer you know and leech off their overall minor online accomplishment. Send them uncomfortable messages, invade their personal space, raid all their RP threads without permission, make logging onto their account a living hell. The world must know you two are the closest and bestest of friends even if you can’t remember their last name or birthday. 

But what’s that? You think that’s too much time and emotional investment? That’s okay! You can easily build a blog of your own by simply “borrowing” ideas from other blogs. This can include art, headcanons, faceplates, writing, music and any other original work painstakingly made by the talented hands of other RPers you tried to manipulate. The best part is, you don’t even have to ask. Remember, ignorance is bliss, and nobody can accuse you of plagiarism if you just didn’t know any better and the RPer is unaware! After all, you deserve those followers, and nothing is more important than what you want in life. Besides, if all these guys have so many followers on their blog, then they clearly have enough emotional support and security. They can share!

4.) OCs? More like no see! Everyone knows that OCs are all just lazy self insert smut dolls. That’s right, you sinful harlots. That character you spent months developing into your own personal creation was all a ruse to disguise your disgusting lustful tendencies. How dare you write a character of your own imagination and use them however you please. But that’s not even the worst part, reader. Did you know if you interact with an OC blog, you’re doomed to fade into obscurity? Nobody wants fresh ideas or something new and interesting, and that’s not going on your blog ever. The more you interact with fan characters, the less people will follow your stories and read your RPs. And nothing is more important than pleasing the mainstream audience. OCs are essentially the herpes of any RPing community, so be sure to toss them in the trash as you kick them off. Don’t ever let them down easy and give them time to become their own interesting part of a massive universe. After all, this massive and complex world they originate in clearly has enough people to count on your hands. Give that stupid Mary Sue what they deserve! 

5.) When in doubt, bullshit your way out. The world is sad and harsh and truth is scary. Too scary, in fact. Hearing the truth makes other people sad. That’s why you should do everything in your power to lie. It’s not that you don’t respect the intelligence or emotional well being of everyone around you. You’re just doing the right thing by creating an ideal place for all your followers and peers. The truth is just too big and scary. Remember step three. Ignorance is bliss. Are you under 18 but want to smut? Lie about your age. Sure it may run the risk of throwing an innocent person in jail, but smut of your OTP is just so hard to come by these days and dad just installed parental controls on your laptop. Do you hate another RPer and have an insatiable jealousy that can’t be satisfied? Post fake chat logs or flat out antagonize them publicly. Don’t forget to give your followers a link to their account so they can harass them. It’s not your fault, all of that could have been avoided if they just did what you asked. But most importantly, lie to yourself. Create a persona instead of being honest with both yourself and the people who want to look up to your work. Remember, you are flawless and can do no wrong. If you ever make a mistake, never forget the other side provoked it and only got what they deserve. You never need to improve by listening to criticism or learning from people who are more experienced than you. If you tell yourself you’re flawless enough, everyone will believe you, including yourself.

Good job reader! Now that you’ve thoroughly followed all the advice listed here, you’re well on your way to becoming the subject of other people’s bitter conversations. RPers will run from you and you will find yourself slowly but surely fade away until the only thing left is a broken ego and soiled reputation.

“But Clara! I don’t want to be hated. I want my blog to be loved. How do I get people to love me?”

The secret to being loved is that there is no secret. People don’t run on a formula. Some people will love you while others will hate your guts for no real reason. Some are open, others are a bit more isolated. Some prefer rping with their friends while others are willing to share different ideas. Bottom line, people are complicated and not everyone is going to be your best friend. 

Read the rules/about page and any headcanons. Try to follow their rules as best as you can. If you make a mistake, offer an immediate apology. Be polite and courteous even to the smallest of strangers. If you see something on an RP blog you like, ask someone for advice on how to improve or permission to borrow any content. Accept a yes or no with grace instead of anger. But the most important step is communication. Ask for help. Ask for advice. Ask if they want to RP or what kind of things they’d like to do together. Share your ideas and listen to what the other has to say. Offer praise when you see something you like. Give a get well message to someone when they post they are feeling under the weather. Hell even give characters a random question to answer every once in a while. It isn’t just their blog, but your own too. Make your pages easy to access. Write an about page that’s easy to understand (for god’s sake stop writing riddles that raise more questions than answers as an about page). Introduce your character like people don’t know who they are. Maybe they’re not part of the fandom. Maybe they want to know how you portray your character. Be sure to be open for any suggestions and ideas, and people will find you far easier to approach.

You don’t have to be friends or very close, but you can still interact while keeping friendly conversation. Many RPers don’t mind receiving personal messages, and chances are they’re just as shy as you are. Instead of comparing differences and trying to find the superior, learn to work with them. RPing is about two people writing for fun in the end. When you find a mutual and positive relationship with someone and their character, everything else falls into place.

“But I still don’t get many asks or followers. What can I do to fix that?”

I wouldn’t know. People also tend to follow what they think is good. That’s something I’ve learned working in restaurants for over seven years. If you feel you’re short on contact, it could be a wake up call to try and revamp things to make something new and improved. Don’t be afraid to take the risk. Sometimes it also depends on what the content being put out is. My best friend has over 2000 followers on her RP blog, but she also posts very well done art she made on a regular basis. Not only that but her characters and ideas never cease to blow me away. Naturally people are gonna wanna see more original art and comics than random drabble writing like me. None the less, I’m always proud of her whenever she does something people love. People see all the hard work she puts into everything she posts, and that’s why she gets attention. She and I follow the same rule and we’re both happy RPers as a result: Write what you want to read and people will follow.

“How can I even tell if I’m a good RPer when I don’t have enough followers or messages?”

By saying this you say two things to everyone reading your posts. First, you treat everyone who follows you, all those RPers who worked just as hard, if not harder, than you to make their character interesting as nothing more than a number in a counter. You don’t respect their independence or their efforts and only appreciate their follows. 

Second, and even worse, all those people who sent you asks? Who read your content? Who log on and get excited to see your posts? Not only do you completely disregard all the time and effort put into keeping up with your hard work, but you completely dismiss all the support they offered you every step of the way and made their painstakingly made responses entirely worthless. 

When you judge yourself over follower count, you turn your back on both acquaintances and loyal RPers/followers. Frankly, if you’re only RPing to become mildly popular no matter what it takes, you don’t deserve either of them.

#ooc #RP advice #and to clear the air those asks in italics are things I've been sent by other people #In multiple RP accounts #If only they were strawmen asks #RP help #new rper #writing advice #writing help #long post #RP guide