#anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK made me sohappy to talk about

[ben-man]

Please tell me more about fat Light. I’m so curious

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM TO TALK ABOUT THIS I am quite literally physically vibrating. I grew up fat and remain fat so please for the love of fuck nobody be rude about me being just unfiltered about this.

Light Yagami is so obsessed with his exterior shell. His like beautiful ornate carapace. His mask. He's obsessed with his image, and a huge reason for this is his fathers position in society and being the perfect son to make his family proud and the fact that he is empty. There is a certain type of childhood where you grow up with a pit in your gut and anger in your heart and no reasonable place to put it or explanation for why you feel that way.

He is a young boy given the power to kill people, and an unnatural boredom borne of his privilege, nature, and power. He's unchallenged by school, he finds no connection in those around him, the distance between him and his family may as well be a chasm. There is no 'real' Light Yagami you will find under that flesh he cloaks himself in (because he doesn't even know who he is himself, he never got the opportunity to.)

I write this fairly often but I hate the characterization where Light is written as if Light and Kira are two different people. Kira is a young boys realization that if he acts sweet and remorseful enough he can get away with breaking other kids toys. It's the fucking feeling in the air when someone's position gives them the power to do whatever bloody cruel thing they want. Kira is a round-faced boy with a terrible weapon to kill. Many people forget that when Light first killed someone (in the manga) he basically cowered under his bedsheets for an entire night. He is bored, and he is empty, and to him excitement and feeling comes when he is so nervous he feels bile in his mouth.

In my mind he grows up fat, he's a pudgy fucking kid. And you know when you're young and fat and you are meant to be fingerpainting you crawl up that step stool and look in the mirror wondering why your soft, fat, unmanageable body doesn't look good enough.

And when you become an adult, for some the doorway to changing your body opens. It can fucking eat you whole man! And I write Light Yagami with these issues and interpret him as having a fuck ton of internalized fatphobia and body image issues, and now he's thin, unhealthily so. I usually write him struggling with eating.

When I do write him having the happy ending he doesn't deserve, I write him gaining weight as a good thing, and that means a lot to me! Internalized fatphobia makes you bitter and cruel not just to yourself but to others. He gets a very prominent double chin and gets larger gradually as he ages I think.

Also my friend @kattidiot wrote a BEAUTIFUL (unpublished) Light Yagami drabble about him being a child and crushing ants and his mother teaching him to bake so he directs that energy not toward covering his fingers in bug guts and he's looking back on that childhood and describes his fat little boy hands and how he doesn't want to add too much butter or sugar and so it always comes out wrong and his cruel perspective on his own baby-faced self is like so well written its like electric.

Anyway yeah diversity win the deranged mass murderer is fat.

#light yagami #death note #tw internalized fatphobia #tw: internalized fatphobia #tw: ed mention #tw ed mention #tw: fatphobia #tw fatphobia #for everyone who has it blocked #anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK made me sohappy to talk about #also everyone follow katt :3 #I am so very very normal about Light Yagami #I relate to him which is a curse and probably a very bad sign #anyway one very important thing that was written by me and katt together #was the idea that his mother taught him to bake coffee cake #because he wanted to be like his dad #and drink coffee #and he doesnt remember what his favorite food is as a teen/young adult and couldnt tell you if you asked #but its coffee cake #I write about him and his mom a lot #his feet arent short enough to swing through the air as he kicks his feet from atop a kitchen stool watching her cook anymore #and he's a man now #and men arent supposed to bake with their mothers #and shes ugly now because shes graying and dyes her hair and he cannot be normal about women #he has to pity her because thats what old married mothers are for #even though he is much more pitiable. ya know. #I am the worlds most normal person about light fucking yagami #hope my insanity is appreciated by someone #thank you anon