#anyway before you ask he DID have pale pink white person nipples. I seen them.

[aurpiment]

I had a dream that I was watching The Terror again and it was… a bit different.

There was a plot where Francis Crozier was pregnant. Not by Fitzjames, no; they weren’t close like that. I think by someone who was 1) a casual hookup and 2) dead. He was confiding in Fitzjames about it, though, and complaining of breast soreness. Fitzjames asked him if he was sure he was pregnant and he said yes, that he recognized the symptoms from when he was younger, and then told a story about how his mother had helped him get an abortion when he was a teenager so he could pursue his then-incipient naval career.

Unfortunately, in the dream, I was watching this version of The Terror with my father and brother and they were confused. “But he’s a man! How is such a thing possible?”

“Transgender,” I explained impatiently, because it was obvious this was the direction the show had gone with the character, even though the actor playing him was still cisgender actor Jared Harris.

“But still, no way this would happen,” I added. “I mean, look at him. He’s GOT to be post-menopausal.”

#mt #this was like #well after the men had started dying #there’d been some disaster and the party had split and regathered #they’d gotten back onto the boat? #the ice had melted enough to sail a little? #mr hickey was there and kept trying to joint the conversation and Crozier kept telling him exasperatedly to drive the boat #all the while Crozier had a hand up his own shirt trying to relieve his #breast pain #anyway before you ask he DID have pale pink white person nipples. I seen them. #I think in the dream it was mastitis but that’s so rare antepartum #just one of the many ways the writing was unrealistic smdh! #but shout out to the imaginary Irish Catholic woman helping her kid get an abortion in like 1812. I DO want to believe. queen shit fr! #the terror #god Fitjames was such an idiot about it #it was like month four or five and he was like ‘do you think it could be a tumor’ #TUMORS DONT KICK HE JUST TOLD YOU IT WAS KICKING #DUMB ASS #but he was genuinely concerned as a friend so some crimes can be forgiven #francis crozier’s geriatric pregnancy hour #edit: the croziers were from ulster and Presbyterian. my bad! #sorry for calling his ma a Catholic do you forgive me

[bigdanteague3]

Caroline part 3

The big finale.....school started for everyone and we talked on the phone as much as possible.  This was long distance and not free so it wasn’t daily.  But a few times a week.  I’d call and then she’d call to split the cost.  Whatever.  I remember thinking she’d probably find somebody and we would never get back together but then I remembered how good a girl she was in high school.  Loyal to a boy who lived hours away.  And she confessed her love to me.  And she pursued me.  I was kinda...conflicted.  I didn’t blame her because I never stopped railing you...and still fucked Amber often but that was winding down because she still had a couple of years of high school.  I guess I planned on fucking Amber as long as possible but knew I wouldn’t be around to bump into her anymore.  So I wasn’t exactly “worried” that Caroline would find somebody else.  But definitely didn’t want her to.  Hypocritical, I am. 

Anyway, she invites me to come down that weekend.  There was the first football game and she wanted to know what kind of liquor I wanted.  I didn’t care because I wasn’t a huge drinker.  Just said whatever.  The plan was for me to pick up her roommate who had to come home for something and take her back.  Deal.  Little did I know that I would end up in another girls bed (not like that) and she would end up in another boys bed (exactly like that)

I pick up the roommate and she rides with me down there.  We were cool.  She was hilarious and pretty and we had kissed a couple of times a long time before.  But she had a steady and that was in the past.  We were really good friends.  But something was off on that car ride.  She was throwing this weird vibe.  Was she mad at me?  Why would she be mad at me?  We were very cool.  Had the dynamic changed since I had started railing Caroline?  Was it weird that I was going down there to fuck her?  Did it change something in our circle of friends?  She wasn’t mean at all.  It was like something was troubling her.  Maybe she had a fight with her boyfriend?  I still don’t know.  But I remember it being like a bad omen.  It wasn’t terrible...just different. 

So we get there and I can’t find Caroline.  She gone.  Lots of people coming and going and I’m hanging out with Becky from your class and her roommate from my class.  They are cool.  We have a good time.  I don’t particularly want to drink but have a few sips to be polite.  Caroline comes in from somewhere and we hug and its different.  Hmmm.....but she invited me down right?  She wants me here?  Anyway, we’re talking and she seems distant.  She doesn’t seem to want to be alone with me.  I’m not pissed at all.  Just kinda....weird feeling.  I think I follow her into Becky’s room and we have a short kiss but she politely has to go do something in the other room.  Hmmm.  Night goes on...I see less of her and its mostly Becky and the other 2 girls and me and some other random people.  I drink and drink and start getting semi-pissed.  Nobody knows where she is...had to run to the store?  The feeling gets stronger and I get drunker.  Not used to hard liquor but there I was.  I don’t remember anything else about the nighttime.

Daytime....I wake up in a bed with somebody curled up next to me.  I see the back of her head.  We aren’t cuddling...its just a tiny ass bed with 2 people passed out in it.  I think its Becky?  I look around the room and its definitely her bedroom.  Pictures of her and her sister on the dresser.  WTF?  What time is it?  I don’t remember getting here at all.  Had I ever messed around with Becky?  Maybe kissed twice?  Three times?  No groping, no second base, just a few kisses over the year.  That didn’t cross my mind.  Just some history.  All I could think about was why we were here.  I knew it wasn’t like the movies where people pass out and don’t remember sex and how this person got here.  I knew nothing happened.  I also wasn’t really hung over.  I just went from the living room to the bed and no time had passed.  But several hours had passed, apparently.  Her ass was pressed against me but it was more of a lack of space than sexual.  She had on sleep shorts and a tee shirt.  I still had on yesterdays clothes.  I slip out of bed trying not to wake her up...she was pretty out of it.  But she woke up.  I apologize.  I ask her how this happened?  Why we were sharing her little ass bed?  She tells me she found me in her bathroom laying on the floor.  Well, that’s embarassing.  I ask her if I had thrown up and she says no.  But they weren’t going to leave me there all night.  She says her and somebody got my stupid ass in the bed and when she got in...she tried to sleep with her head at the bottom but the covers made that a problem.  And she wasn’t going to sleep on the couch because I was an idiot so she just went to sleep next to me.  I told her that made sense.  And apologized for being an idiot.  And thanked her for getting my stupid ass out of the floor.

Then I asked the obvious.  She didn’t know.  Promised she hadn’t seen her.  I was tired of this shit and ready to go home but wanted to find her before I did.  Went down to her apartment...knock knock...nobody home.  Hmmm.  Went back to Becky’s and told her I needed my keys and all the shit at Carolines.  She couldn’t help and I knew she felt sorry for me.  That and having her pick me up out of the floor was pretty humiliating.  Anyway, Becky’s roommate was up by now and I was like WTF?  And she told me she knew where Caroline was but I shouldn’t go down there.  It was like 3 doors down.  Was I pissed?  Yeah, not that she was fucking somebody else...but that she called me down here.  Anyway, the door was unlocked, some asshole is sitting on the couch.  I tell him I need to get my keys from Caroline and he points to the back.  I knock on the door and open it and she’s still asleep on some dude.  Not like I slept with Becky.  No shirt on, he had no shirt on.  I assume they had nothing on. But I could only see the upper half.  Both her titties with those big pink nipples exposed.  She looked at me and just went pale.  I played it off like I was just an acquaintance needing her apartment keys.  She pointed at her purse.  I thanked her, left and went home.  She called later to apologize.  Said she wanted to sleep with me that night but I had passed out.  Which was untrue.  She was unavailable all night.  Anyway, I was pissed but not furious. 

I even went back down there a few months later.  Not alone and not because she personally asked me.  It was a big group of us going to visit all of them.  I even slept in her bed but she sat at the desk all night studying.  Yeah, right.  She had a pretty major medical emergency around Christmas of that year and spent several nights in hospital.  I called her on New Year’s Eve to see how she was feeling.  She was better.  Her parents had gone out and she was home all alone and watching tv.  I foolishly asked her if I could just come over and see her...maybe ring in the new year together.  I don’t think I even meant to go over and fuck her senseless after what had happened health-wise.  Pretty sure i just meant to kiss her at midnight and kinda clean the page.  She said no.  I knew she’d say no, but that was my last effort. 

5 years later she was getting ready to marry somebody from our school.  Not the first dude, not me but somebody else that was older.  He’s a nice enough guy.  I was leaving the store one day and she pulls in right behind me and blocks me in.  She was still driving the same white car from high school.  She comes up and I get out and she says I thought that was you.  I confirm it was me.  I sarcastically tell her thanks for the wedding invite.  Other people got one, not me.  She looks sad for a minute and said she didn’t think it would be fair to her fiance to invite me.  Because of our history.  I told her I understood.  She looked really sad.  I tell her I hope they are really happy together...she says they are.  She just apologized again for the way things went down.  Said it always bothered her.  I told her it bothered me too but that I didn’t blame her.  That situation was destined to blow up and I’m glad that summer happened.  Not the fall...but the summer.  She hugged me and told me she loved me and I said the same. 

Didn’t see her for a while.  Saw her at the 10 year reunion.  Not going to say she flirted with me.  But she may have flirted with me.  Grabbed my arm when we talked.  Didn’t see her for a while...facebook came along....our kids are similar ages and she’s involved in several things so I see her pretty often.  She looks as good now as she did then.  Same round ass....titties even bigger.  She always smiles and its like the old days before the hookup.  Saw her a couple of weeks ago in a school parking lot.  She was there on official business.  There were no kids around.  She was carrying a bag.  I roll down the window and pull up beside her and ask her if she’s still hanging out in school parking lots after hours.  She turns and laughs and leans into my window and we talk for a while.  Nothing flirtatious.  About general random kid-related stuff.  But I know she thinks about it and knows I still remember her big pink nipples and voluptuous ass and choking on my dick.

[theclosetpoet7]

Love and Phone Sex

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

Notes on one-shot: Yome or Tsuma just means wife and is used by a husband to talk about his wife with another person. In this fic and my other fics, since Sasuke, in gaiden says “my wife this or my wife that” I just used it anyway. Just think of it as Sakura being happy that he refers to her as his wife and me looking for one word that is similar to Sakura’s use of “anata”.

Rating: MA/NSFW 

"Can you hear me?"

Her melodic voice brings a rush of affection as Sasuke adjusts his phone's volume to hear her more clearly.

"Anata?"

"Aa."

Uchiha Sakura smiles warmly into the camera. She holds it so that he can see her pretty face and waves her hand.

The dark haired nin awkwardly raises his hand in reply and cocks his head to the side when he sees the evidence of make-up.

"You didn't have to put that on."

"Eh?" She blushes on her end and Sasuke cheekily points to his face to explain.

"Oh, I guess I didn't. But, I thought you might not be able to see me well if I didn't."

She averts her eyes to cover up her disappointment.

"There's no need."

Her grin is instantaneous and so adorable that Sasuke almost grins back in return.

"Anyway."

She puts a thumb over the lens and Sasuke scrunches his nose in annoyance when she disappears.

"I can't see you Sakura."

"Yeah, hold on. I have to..."

He hears a bit of static over their phone line as she moves about in what he assumes is their bedroom. He lies down on the hotel's pillows and puts an arm behind his head, patiently waiting for his wife's face to come up again. He glances at the clock and makes a mental note of the time.

11:00 pm.

"How is Sarada?"

He hears her soft pads on the floor and then there's a slight thud in which the screen is covered in total darkness.

"She's fine. She loves the panda by the way, thank you."

Uchiha Sasuke smiles at the mention of his gift to their cute daughter.

"Where is she ?"

His ears pick up on the silent taps on a keyboard.

What is she doing?

"Gomen, Anata, she's sleeping right now."

"Hn."

He stares at the ceiling, still waiting on Sakura.

"So uhm... Do you like what you see?"

He turns his eyes to the screen again and gawks.

He gawks...

Uchiha Sasuke freakin' gawks.

Because...

.

.

.

Sakura is wearing black underwear.

Correction, Sakura is wearing black, lacy underwear.

Still not right.

.

.

.

Uchiha Sakura is wearing black, lacy, see through underwear.

And she is sitting on their bed with a long leg crossed over the other as she works her thin fingers through her silky pink locks that fall delicately over her shoulder.

The Uchiha patriarch swallows.

"Sasuke-kun?"

He turns to his side and brings the phone closer to study the situation. It seems that she may have projected their call onto a laptop that she had placed on a table near the end of their bed.

"I was thinking that we could try..."

Her face turns to a deep crimson.

Sasuke allows his eyes to skim over her body. His wife, as she usually is, looks beautiful. Her skin appears smooth and creamy. Twin mounds peak at him from behind her thin bra, nipples push against its lacework. She has a little bit of fullness in her lower belly, a tiny bulge that he can't help but want to pinch. And her white thighs, are unblemished and calling out for him to run his hands over them.

The wanderer groans at the memory of her legs wrapped around his narrow hips.

It has been so long.

His wife clears her throat. And, he smirks.

"What did you have in mind?"

The sharingan-wielder decides to tease her for a bit.

If only to hold back his desire before he lets it overtake him.

Uchiha Sakura puffs her cheeks out at his wickedness for challenging her to voice it out. Then she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and bites her lower lip as she contemplates on what to say.

"Sakura?"

He could practically feel her shiver as she exhales through her nose and rests both her hands on her lap.

"Video phone sex."

The sentence nearly makes him snort with amusement. Not only does it allow pornographic images to come to his mind, but it also churns a feeling of excitement at the thought of trying something they've never done before.

Even if their love-making was already hot.

He briefly checks the room he is in and confirms that the door is locked, and the curtains are drawn shut.

"Make sure no one sees you."

"Huh?"

Her confused expression appears only for a moment but promptly dawns with understanding.

"Oh yeah."

She vanishes from the screen again as she shuts the blinds and locks their door.

Then she clumsily jumps on their bed. Sasuke is rewarded with the allure of her pale breasts bouncing as she adjusts her position on their duvet.

"Cast a silencing jutsu."

He forms his hands into the technique to make his room soundproof and Sakura does the same thing.

When they are left with nothing else to do, Sasuke props himself against the head of the bed and waits for his voluptuous wife to make the first move.

"So..."

He raises an eyebrow, and guesses that he probably looks smug.

"Do you like what you see?"

He covers his laugh with the back of his hand.

Did she practice just one line?

"Mou! Sasuke-kun, I repeated that sentence over and over in my head the whole day!"

He got it right.

Sakura lets out a small huff and crosses her arms before her assets. Cute, she was too cute.

And hot, so fucking hot.

So Sasuke decides to humor her.

"Gomen. Yes, I do like what I see."

His partner's face turns pink. Dainty hands come up to press her cheeks as she looks at anything but him. The pinkette plasters an innocent smile on her angelic face. And sways from side to side.

"Although, I was hoping that you'd seduce me slowly first."

Her eyes widen and she looks to the camera, blushing furiously at the sexy smile her husband has on.

"Wait a sec."

And she disappears again.

Sasuke uses the time to take his shirt off and pull his boxers down. He makes himself more comfortable. Heart racing in anticipation of what she is about to do next.

"How about now?"

Sasuke's whole body stiffens.

His wife knows how to do it.

His wife absolutely knows how to do it.

How to turn him on in less than a second.

She is kneeling on their bed, thighs slightly apart, one resting on the front of her hips while the other twirls a strand of hair. His tongue itches to run over the defined line at the center of her abdomen as she teases him with just a little peep show.

Sasuke's mouth turns dry.

And his loins burn at the sight before him.

Because Sakura is wearing one of his white button up long sleeves, her hands nearly concealable. The edge of the shirt covers her down to mid-thigh.

And she knows.

She knows how to turn him on.

In less than a second.

"Do you like it?"

He settles his gaze on her eyes again and notes the spark in them.

"Aa."

She looks directly at the camera lens and Sasuke swiftly feels her stare deep into his soul. When her emerald orbs fall on his form on the screen, Sakura openly gasps.

"Are you naked Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn."

He smirks again at the way he can get her all flustered with just a glimpse of his bare shoulders.

"Well, can you show me the rest?"

He teases her again with an inquiry.

"What do you want to see?"

"Your abs."

There is not even a hint of hesitation in her answer that Sasuke doesn't offer much of a delay and moves the camera a little bit further down his body so that she can see his torso.

"Yeah baby, that's what we're talking about."

He sweat drops at his wife's fan-girlish squeal and adjusts the device so he can see what she's doing again.

"What do you want us to do next?"

He doesn't usually ask a lot of questions. But in this moment, he finds himself overwhelmed by the need to push his mate.

"I want to touch you Anata."

He pauses for a second.

And breathes deeply.

"Run your hands over your stomach, and wrap them around your... Uhm... penis."

She almost does it perfectly but is instantly flustered again. Her voice though, sends thrills down to pool in his belly that Sasuke couldn't help but comply with her wishes.

"Okay..."

His wife maneuvers herself to the top of their bed and lies down on their pillows.

Sasuke grasps himself.

"I'm lying on your side of the bed Sasuke-kun."

The grip he has tightens at the way she mewls the sentence in the most enticing tone he has ever heard her use.

"I want to be touched too."

He starts a pumping motion.

"Sakura."

"Hm?"

"Can you massage your breasts for me?"

There is a jolt in her body, Sasuke thinks, but his wife nods her head and places her palms over her breast rotating them in a clockwise motion.

The nin is rewarded with one of the naughtiest images he has ever seen. He can see his wife's body from head to toe. One of her legs is bent. His shirt is parted on one side, revealing her black lingerie underneath. And she is pushing herself against her hands as she moans out her pleasure.

He moves his hand up and down lazily. Savoring the build up.

Sakura tilts her head up and lets out a gasp at how sensitive her chest feels.

"I wish I was kissing you."

Instant lust floods over his whole body at how forward his dear wife is becoming already. And he honestly isn't surprised. Because Sakura has always been a fast learner.

"Touch yourself."

She lets out a low moan when she catches on to his demands, and slowly slips her hand inside her panties. Sasuke can see, through his phone, the way she caresses herself in a back and forth motion.

He turns stiff hard.

And he wishes that he can bury deep into her.

He wishes that he can press his lips to hers.

He wishes that he can lace their fingers together.

As he joins the two of them physically in their dance to merge their souls into one.

He can feel his body burn and muses that it won't take long before he takes himself to the edge. So he continues a slow pace and looks at his wife again. The avenger stifles a groan.

Sakura continues touching herself, and he could see her toes curling into their white sheets as she grinds her body to self gratification. Sasuke's eyes pick up on the fact that she is actually about to lose control too.

So he jerks himself off with faster and harder motions.

"Fuck, Sakura."

"Sasuke-kun..."

He realizes that he wants to ask more from her.

More.

"Spread your legs wider."

She does so.

"Move your hips."

She lets out a loud moan.

"Look at me."

She directs her face to the screen, all flushed and sweaty.

"Are your fingers inside you?"

"Uhn."

He gives in to temptation and imagines her wrapped around him. He imagines her scent. He imagines the way she would pull him closer. And he imagines her nails digging into his back. Sasuke's hips eagerly thrust upward.

"Take them out and rub them on it."

She moans again and follows his instructions. Then, she arches her back off the bed to gyrate them against her teasing digits. Wantonly flicking something between her legs.

And she screams his name out.

The sight of his wife reaching her peak so suddenly does it for him, and Sasuke indulges himself more, pumping against his fist, slowly bringing his lower half to absolute euphoria.

"Sasuke-kun..."

She brings his attention to her again, and Sasuke grunts at the image of her still touching herself.

"I want to see you too."

He understands what she is trying to say and clicks on his phone to change his camera's direction so that she can see where his fingers are curled around.

Vulgar.

Crass

Lewd.

That is all he can describe their current actions as he realizes that in this moment, his camera is directed at his manhood, and in this moment he is letting her watch him fuck himself. He pushes up so he can see her. She is looking straight at her laptop, fingers nestled between her thighs which are angled in a way that allows him to see her center as she presses them together.

And she cums again

Sasuke strokes himself a few more times before he joins her in ecstasy.

Light.

There is a blinding light when he slowly comes down from his high.

And he bows his body to the heavens as he rides the waves of pure bliss until he is brought back ashore.

"I can't see you anymore Sasuke-kun."

The Sannin lets out puffs of breath as he turns his head to look for his phone, which had been discarded when he spilled himself. He picks it up and flips the camera again so that his wife can see the way she has reduced him to a heaving mess.

"That good?"

She leers mischievously and squats in front of him.

"You have no idea."

He manages to hiss out.

"On the contrary my darling, I do have an idea. It was good for me too."

He couldn't help the pride he feels upon hearing her confession.

"You weren't naked though."

He pokes at her for fun again.

Uchiha Sakura laughs wholeheartedly and gathers her hair to one side.

"And whose fault was that?"

His lips can't form a reply.

Maybe they can do that some other time.

He sits up to lean an elbow on his knees. He opens the drawer and pulls out tissue to clean himself.

"How's your mission?"

He breathes in deeply and runs a hand through his dark tresses to let out a frustrated exhale.

"It's going to take longer than I thought."

Sakura's smile turns into a frown. Sasuke immediately resents his admission with the way she tries to lift the curves of her mouth to remedy the situation. She is too patient and too understanding.

"Still jumping through dimensions?"

"Aa."

"And your chakra?"

"I try to rest before opening another portal."

"Your eyes don't hurt?"

"No."

"Are you eating right? The soldier pills?"

"They taste horrible."

"I'd punch you if I was there Anata."

He lets out a low chuckle.

"We miss you though. I miss you."

She sounds like she is about to cry.

Sasuke sighs and tells her the truth.

"I miss you more."

They stare at each others' video image for a while.

"Don't worry about us."

She reassures him.

"No matter how far away you are. No matter how long it takes. Our hearts will always be connected. Just know that you have a family to come home to when you finish your mission."

Amazing.

His wife is amazing.

Sasuke smiles sincerely.

"I love you."

"I love you too Sasuke-kun."

Their emotions are overflowing.

He settles on his back and watches his wife get up and take the computer into her hands. Then, she lies on their king-sized bed and places it beside her, body turning to the side as she stares at him from Konoha.

"Let's sleep next to each other tonight."

He burrows deep into his sheets and turns to the empty space beside him. Then, he holds his phone in front of him as Sakura turns off their bedside lamp.

It is like they are actually facing each other.

He wants to pull her to him though.

And he wants to wrap his arms around her petite form.

Never letting go.

"Goodnight Anata."

He nods his head and slowly drifts off.

.

.

.

It doesn't take long before his wife's snores come through the phone and Sasuke has to lower the volume so he can go back to sleep.

.

.

.

fin

______________

Author's Note: Hides face in shame. Use of “Yome”. In Japan, the wives usually use the word “Anata” as a term of endearment to their husbands and is typically translated to “my darling or dear”. However there is no such term used by the husbands to refer to their wives in a similar fashion.

Random Musings: In all honesty, even though I love Kishimoto for making Gaiden and placing his focus on the Uchiha family, I still find it hard to believe that Sasuke wasn't able to see Sarada grow up. With their new technology and all, it seems absurd, or just the simple thought of having a hawk deliver a picture between him and Sakura would've sufficed. There may be a lot of explanations though, like maybe he had actually been jumping through dimensions the past 9/10 years or maybe it’s for her safety but it still baffles me. I still love Kishimoto though.  

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