#anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician 🙄 nothing new over here hehe

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i really do love practicing 🎻

#i'm in music school so now it's a much more significant source of my already very significant fears #but practicing only feels stressful when i don't do it enough and i'm trying to 'catch up' #some weeks fly past me like hurricanes and i get to my lesson and i can't say i've made any progress and that fucks me up #and i don't think that's ever going away- like i'll always have weeks like that cuz everyone has bad days and bad weeks #from time to time #but when i plan correctly (which is becoming more and more the norm for me) my practicing is something im really proud of :) #i have a System. i didn't do very well before i had it and i would die without it now. #i get excited about learning! i get excited having realizations abt things to change or work on when i practice! #it feels experimenty a lot of the time and i like it!!! #i have a lot of catching up to do in terms of comparing myself to others but i'm not here for them i'm here for me #i will do my best and i will learn from others of course but my goals are to make my Me better first and worry abt other people later #i won't lose sight of that #<- and when it doesn't feel experimenty it can be calming to just be like okay ik what i need to do now just. Practice. Repeat. #i mean music is a fucking rollercoaster and sometimes you are at the bottom and i hate that but it comes w the territory #sometimes you're just Stuck but you do get past it and in those moments i just try to think back to previous times ive felt like that #ive felt horribly shitty before and gotten through it and come out the other side slightly better! #life is like that i think #anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician 🙄 nothing new over here hehe