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mischiefandspirits · 2 years

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Daddy's Gonna Find Out Any Minute

When Tim gets outted to the public, Kon sees an opportunity to both help out his friend and annoy Lex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cassie and Bart didn’t look up from their phones when Kon stomped in and threw himself down on the couch.

“Luthor?” Bart asked, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl in his lap.

Kon growled into the cushions.

“Yeah,” Cassie answered between sips of her milkshake. “He’s been annoying Kon.”

“He says he wants us to get along, but then he gets on my case over everything!” Kon growled. “Honestly, like he has room to talk when it comes to embarrassing the family name. He’s a supervillain!”

“He’s the worst,” Bart agreed, texting Cissie a picture of a cat he’d seen during a run earlier.

“Yeah. And I try to avoid him, but he just ambushes me when I’m hanging out with Aunt Lena. Or he kidnaps me. I just wish there was a way to get him off my back. Really throw him for a loop.”

“Uh-huh,” Cassie agreed blankly, then she perked up. “Oh look, Tim’s in the news.”

Kon glared up at her as Bart sped over to her side. “Are you guys even listening?”

“‘Teen CEO Timothy Wayne spotted on a date with unknown male paramour!’” Bart read then he and Cassie shared a look. “Tim’s just been outed to the public.”

“Guess that’s how it goes when you’re famous.”

“At least the photographer wasn’t able to get a look at Bernard.”

“Yeah. Everything’s going to be crazy enough as is.”

“Should we call Tim now or wait for this to die down a little?” Bart asked, already tapping away at his phone to update Cissie.

“Just send him a text. Something tells me he’s going to be too busy for a call right now,” Cassie said, opening the group chat to do just that. “Hey, Kon -” she cut off when she realized the two were alone in the room.

“Where’d Kon go?” Bart asked and she shrugged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You sure you’re okay?” Tim asked, pacing around his office. “I can -”

“I’m fine, Tim, seriously,” Bernard chuckled. “No one knows it was me. The article didn’t even list my hair color, let alone my name. I’m more worried about you. You got outed to the whole world.”

Tim sighed and dropped into his chair. “It’s fine. Bruce has always pushed for inclusivity and all the phobes in the company were weeded out during Dick’s experimental teenage years. Everything else is just background noise. Besides, I gave PR a warning this could happen the moment we decided to give dating a try so they’re already taking care of any of the news sources being a little too blatant in their prejudices.”

“Tim,” Bernard started with laughter in his voice, “did you come out to your PR department before you came out to your family?”

“No… Okay, yes, but apparently my brothers, Alfred, Kate, Steph, and Cass already knew so it doesn’t actually count. I really only came out to PR before coming out to Bruce, Bette, Cullen, and Harper.”

“You’re adorable.”

Tim blushed. “Hey, you try having the whole of PR mad at you because you didn’t warn them about a media storm just waiting to happen! Did you see what they put out about Dick when he -” He cut off when someone knocked on his window. He turned to see Kon floating outside and let him in. “Hey, sorry, I’m going to have to call you back later. Someone needs to talk to me.”

“No problem. I should probably get back to work on my essay anyways. How about dinner tonight?”

“Sure. My place?”

“I’ll be there. Later.”

“Later.” Tim hung up. “Can you warn me next time you take the TTK express to my office so I can have the window open? I’ve got enough to deal with right now without someone spotting you flying in.”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Kon sat down on Tim’s desk, earning an annoyed look from his friend. “We should fake-date.”

“Is the mission urgent? Because I’m a little -”

“No, not on a mission. I’m saying you, Tim, should fake-date me. In public.”

Tim stared at him blankly. “Kon, I have a boyfriend. You met him two months ago, remember?”

“I know, I know, but I’m guessing you’re not about to throw Bernie into the wolves for a while, are you?”

“No.” Tim would very much like to keep Bernard out of the media. Especially since his boyfriend’s parents didn’t know they were dating yet. The two of them were trying to get Mr. and Mrs. Dowd to actually like Tim before dropping that bombshell. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to fake-cheat on my boyfriend to fake-date you. Also don’t call him that, please. He hates it.”

“Got it. And we’ll tell him and your family and our friends and Clark, Lois, Jon, Ma, and Pa, so you won’t be fake cheating. It’s just for the media. Think about it. We both know that if you don’t tell everyone who you’re dating, the sharks are going to go digging until they track down Bernard. If we give them someone to focus on, me, then he can stay hidden for a little longer.”

“I guess,” Tim considered, “but I don’t think shoving Conner Kent into the limelight will be much better.”

“Not Conner Kent, no,” Kon said, grinning and adjusting his jacket.

Tim raised an eyebrow, then his eyes widened. “You want to fake-date me as Superboy! ”

Kon gave him finger guns.

“I can’t fake-date a superhero, Kon. It could compromise my identity.”

He shrugged. “I dated civilians before I got a secret identity and you’re well-known enough that it would make sense we could have met. Besides, Clark used to flirt with Lois as Superman all the time before they got married -- and even now he still does it every so often -- so no one will think twice about a Super hooking up with a pretty civilian who gets themself into trouble here and there.”

Tim crossed his arms. “I don’t get myself into trouble.”

“What about two weeks ago when I -”

“I got kidnapped, that’s different. Lois intentionally throws herself into dangerous situations. I don’t do that,” at Kon’s look, he added, “as Tim. I throw Red Robin into dangerous situations. Tim just, in Steph’s words, looks kidnappable.”

“Okay, but see. We have a perfect backstory. I rescued you, we flirted, then I offered to take you out. Now we’re dating. Fake-dating.”

Tim slumped back in his chair. “Why do you want to fake-date so much?”

Kon grabbed one of Tim’s pens and spun it around his fingers. “Aunt Lena said Lex has been complaining about how you wouldn’t agree to work together on some project.”

“I didn’t turn him down, I just had some concessions we need to go over so I can make sure he can’t turn the project into a supervillain plot,” Tim muttered to himself before saying, “Is this seriously just some ploy to annoy your dad?”

“It’s a win-win situation, Tim. I get to annoy Lex and Bernard can go a little longer without having cameras shoved in his face. Plus, isn’t he a superhero fanboy? He’ll get a kick out of this!”

“He’s a Gotham vigilante conspiracy theorist, not a superhero fanboy, -”

“Same thing.”

“- and in case you’re forgetting, he doesn’t know I’m Red Robin. How am I supposed to explain fake-dating Superboy?”

“Just tell him the truth?” Kon suggested, balancing the pen on the tip of his finger. “I rescued you a few times. I flirted with you and gave you my number. We decided to fake-date to get the press off your back and annoy Lex.”

“You never flirted with me.”

Kon stared blankly at him. “Tim.”

Tim stared back for a moment before blushing and burying his face in his hands.

Kon -- because he was a jerk -- laughed at him.

“You were way more obvious with Cassie!”

“Because I thought you were straight. And so did you.”

“I hate you.”

“So do you want to go on a fake date with me?”

Tim slumped onto his desk. “I’ll think about it. I’ll need to talk to Bernard. And Bruce. And Lucius. And the PR team.”

Kon patted him on the back then left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, I always knew Kon would steal you away, but I figured it’d be from me and he’d be your bi awakening.”

“Haha,” Red Robin mocked, not looking up from the warehouse he was watching.

“What did Bernard say when you asked?” Black Bat asked, shoving a giggling Batgirl.

“He was a little awestruck, but he was okay with the plan.”

She hummed and poked him.

“He also might have asked how Red Robin felt about the whole thing,” he added, reluctantly. “Apparently, he has opinions on our relationship.”

“Oh my god! He’s a Redboy shipper!” Batgirl shrieked and Black Bat slapped her hand over the blonde’s mouth.

“Quiet. Stakeout.”

“He’s not a shipper,” Tim huffed. “He just misinterpreted our behavior towards each other to be romantic instead of platonic.”

“Platonic,” Black Bat snorted.

“I swear you weren’t this oblivious when we got together,” Batgirl said, leaning against him.

“I’m sorry, he misinterpreted my behavior towards Kon as romantic.”

The girls shared a look and Black Bat nodded when Batgirl said, “Well at least he’s realized Kon used to flirt with him.”

He flipped them both off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, I thought this would be more awkward,” Kon said, looking at Tim from over his sunglasses.

“We’ve gone on fake dates before,” Tim pointed out before tugging Kon towards the cotton candy stand.

“Yeah, but that was as Alvin Draper and Carl Krummet or Caroline Hill and Lucas Alexander or whatever. This is us on a fake date.”

“A fake date is a fake date,” Tim said with a shrug.

“I guess you’re right.” Kon pulled his friend closer to his side using the arm over the smaller boy’s shoulders. He leaned down to whisper in Tim’s ear, “We have a tail.”

“Congratulations for noticing. He’s been on us for ten minutes,” Tim said, smirking up at Kon’s annoyed look. He kissed Kon’s cheek. “I figure we’ll give it another three then accidentally reveal your identity to him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What is this?” Lex demanded, throwing a magazine down on the table between Lena and Kon.

“Hey, dad,” Kon said. “So anyway, after we beat him -”

“Superboy,” Lex interrupted. “What. Is. This?”

“Hello, dear brother. Yes, it is wonderful to see you again. No, you can’t come into my office. Yes, I do mind you interrupting my time with my nephew.” Lena said, grabbing the paper. “And since you seem so curious, this is what we call a magazine. People use it to get information. It’s like a newspaper, but more colorful. You do know what a newspaper is, right?”

“Very funny,” Lex deadpanned. “I’m talking about the article mentioned on the front page.”

Lena rolled her eyes and looked at the cover, then frowned. She gave Kon a pointed look. “‘Potential Gothamite/Metropolin romance? Superboy spotted on a date with Wayne CEO!’ You started dating Timothy and you didn’t tell me?”

“More importantly, you started dating Drake and you didn’t tell me? ”

“He prefers Tim,” Kon said before taking a big drink from his milkshake. “And it’s Drake-Wayne. He goes by Wayne more than Drake.”

“How long have you two been dating?”

“Yes, how long have you two been dating?”

“Are you just going to repeat everything Aunt Lena says?” Kon asked, smirking at the annoyance on Lex’s face. He turned to Lena with a shrug. “Not long. About two weeks now.”

About a week earlier than when that photographer caught a picture of Tim and Bernard. Long enough for them to be as cuddly as Tim and Bernard had been in the pictures, but still after the last time he’d rescued Tim as Superboy.

He expected Lex to be annoyed, that had been the point after all. He hadn’t expected the calculating look on Lena’s face.

“Two weeks?” she asked. “So around the time Lex and Tim started talks on behalf of LexCare and Wayne Health?”

“… Maybe? I’ll be honest, I don’t really pay much attention when you guys talk about L-Corp stuff. Is that what you guys were fighting about? Some health thing?”

Lena shook her head as Lex pinched the bridge of his nose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Good news, Lex is furious as planned,” Kon said as he stomped into Tim’s apartment, having unlocked the balcony with TTK. “Bad news, now he and Aunt Lena think you’re only dating me to get a leg up on whatever health thing you’ve got going on and I’m either too dumb or smitten to notice. As if I would talk about boring non-supervillain L-Corp stuff with my supposed boyfriend when I could be making out with him instead!”

“Uh, Superboy -”

“And I’m not stupid! I know when people are using me to get at one of my dads! Yeah, sometimes I go along with it to tick one or both of them off, but I still know what’s happening! You know that, right?”

“Normally I’d say yes, but maybe you should turn around.”

Kon spun on his heel to glare at his friend, then froze because that was a wide-eyed Bernard on the couch cuddled up with Tim. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Tim said, looking one part annoyed and one part amused as he sat up.

“Sorry for interrupting.” Kon’s lips quirked up as he added, “You didn’t have to stop on my account, though.”

“You’re obnoxious. We’re just watching a movie.”

Kon shook his head. “Tim, Tim, Tim, You have this whole apartment to yourself. Why are you two watching a movie when you could be -”

“Leave. Now. Or I will make Lena think she was right to question your capabilities.”

“You can’t mess with Aunt Lena! She’s under Supergirl’s protection!”

“I fear all of one Super and it’s not her.”

Kon snickered as he remembered how nervous and proper Tim got whenever he was around Ma.

“You think that’s funny. Maybe I should give her a call and tell her what you were about to say.”

“You’re the worst,” Kon huffed, then turned to the balcony door. “Fine. I’ll leave you to your boring movie date. I’m going to tell Lena the truth.”

“Have fun! I’m sure she won’t be mad that you didn’t tell her before!”

“The worst!” Kon slammed the door as hard as he could without breaking it and flew off.

“What the heck?” he heard Bernard whisper to Tim.

“Sorry about him.”

“He just showed up at your apartment to rant.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll remind him to call ahead next time.”

“Tim, Superboy just showed up at your apartment to rant. I know you guys are doing the fake-dating thing, but that’s just crazy. How is this your life?”

“No idea,” Tim chuckled. “Come on, let’s get back to the movie.”

“Hm… Do you think he could get me Red Robin’s phone number?”

“Oh my god,” Tim snorted.

“Come on, I respect that you’ve got a thing for Superboy so you should respect that I’ve got a thing for Red Robin.”

Kon paused midair to laugh as Tim sputtered.

“I don’t have a thing for Superboy!”

“Babe, you used to wear Superboy shirts all the time when we were in school.”

“That’s not -”

“You still have them and wear them sometimes.”

“Bernard!”

“I’m just saying. I know you wouldn’t cheat, but if you did want to have a little side thing with Superboy, I wouldn’t blame you and I’d be fine with it as long as you talk to me first. And maybe get me Red Robin’s number. Fair’s fair, you know.”

Kon forced himself to stop listening in and continue towards Metropolis as Tim groaned into his hands. He did, however, pull out his phone to text the group chat.

Marvel_Boy: Hey Iron-Lad I could help you out if you want to have some side fun with your own BF

MissAmerica: ???

Iron-Lad: I can and will break out the k

Speed: What’s going on?

Hawkeye: ^

Marvel_Boy: His BF wants RR’s number to “have a little side thing” with him

Marvel_Boy: In a poly way not a cheating way

Hawkeye: Awww!!!!

MissAmerica: LOL

Speed: At least you know he likes both sides of you

Iron-Lad: I hate all of you

Hawkeye: No you don’t

MissAmerica: Love you too!!

Speed: 🤍❤️🤍

Marvel_Boy: 😘

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steph thinking Tim looks kidnappable comes from my story "A Villian's Kid " since this takes place in the same universe. Mostly because I like imagining the reactions of the people who thought Tim was the next Lex Luther. Hiring Cluemaster's daughter is one thing, but seducing Lex's Superman clone? There are probably so many "Oh yeah, it's all coming together" memes.

#conner kent #Tim Drake #bernard dowd #lex luthor #timber #fanfiction #ceo and bodyguard

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