#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[transbcyfriend]

1-69 ur doing it too broberry

GOOD THIS PLEASES ME I LOV DOING THESE ASK MEMES

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

yeah – i’ve never smoked a cigarette before. an e-cig, yes, but an actual cigarette? miss me with that shit.

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?

taken!

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

i would lose my mcfucking marbles and send like 500 heart emojis

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

…yes? yes. yes i have.

5: Are you interested in anyone right now?

yep – my goirlie i’m love her

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

winter brEAK GOD ALL MY CLASSES ARE ALMOST OVER

7: Do you want to be single?

r u kidding if i was alone for even 3 seconds i’d self-destruct. not to mention i’m rlly. rlly lucky and i ain’t leavin’ that relationship like Ever

8: Did you go out or stay in last night?

both – i left the house to go to my friend’s apartment to chill.

9: How late did you stay up last night?

midnight for once bc i had finals this morning gghbhbbgfgbgfdg

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?

i can

11: Last three things you had to drink?

water, sweet tea, and milk, in chrono. order.

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

yep. i regret it.

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

also yep. i also deeply regret that.

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

yeah

15 - 20:

answered here.

21: Do you miss anyone?

sometimes. and i hate it.

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

i have – in my defense, i was at comicon.

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

yep

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

i like to think so??? ? ?

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

i – actually i don’t think i have. yeah no i’m not a mad crier lmao

26: Who did you last see in person?

my buddy bri; she don’t got a tungle tho rip

27: Are you listening to music right now?

ye – i’m listening to CHOKE from i don’t know how but they found me.

28: What is something you currently want right now?

i really want cuddles tbh. that and a new tablet. i rlly need a new tablet

29: What is the last thing you said out loud?

“c’mere merc! c’mere! ohhhhhh das’a good boy, das my good boy – who’s a good boy? is it you? is it you?! dAS MY GOOD BOY–” bc ma brought my dog home from the dog park and i wanted him to love me

30: How is your heart lately?

so about that weather

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

only when it’s cold out and my ears are freezing – that or if it’s rlly late out and i just. generally don’t want ppl to see my face

32: Are you wearing socks?

yeah – they comfy af

33: What do people call you?

vincent, vinny, altoid, mint, boi, my boi, amongst some names too sappy to mention

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

fuck yeah my dude

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

there’s a guy at work who might try and start shit bc i called him out for harassing these few girls (+ myself), so uh. there’s that ig

36: Who did you last share a bed with?

i honest to god don’t remember.

37: Did you do something bad today?

i stared at the captain morgan’s spiced rum v intently and debated drinking it, but i don’t suppose that counts, does it

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

over half a year ago, if i remember right

39: Do you get stressed out easily?

depends on the thing, tbh

40: Will you sing today?

bitch i’m singing rn fuck u talkin abt

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

abso-fucking-lutely. it’s…never a good thing in my case.

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?

lilly and you bronut. only 2 ppl i rlly spill to nowadays.

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?

nope, and i hope i never have to.

44: What are you listening to right now?

well now i’m listening to broken bones by crx but that’s p much it.

45: What is wrong with you right now?

you sure you really wanna know? you’ll be here a while.

46: What is on your wrists right now?

nothing. i used to wear a couple of bracelets, but the only piece of jewelry i manage to wear regularly is my necklace.

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

my workplace actually! it’s a super comfy sweater, has cute little flower motifs by the shoulders. i can’t wear it without everyone calling me she tho, so i rarely wear it outside the house.

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?

hot chocolate, hands down. don’t drink hot apple cider too often.

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

nope. 

50: Are you a good artist?

i like to think i’m p good at art.

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

answered here.

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

mm … no, not really? nothing was much different except it was summer. and summer can suck my chode.

53: Ever been on a golf cart?

i have, but i was hella young.

54: Do you have trust issues?

i don’t just have it, i own it like a large, hostile pet dog. it’s been around so long, i’ve signed the goddamn adoption papers on this bitch. might as well. it ain’t leavin’ anytime soon.

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

yep – my girlfriend, you, fox, and…i believe shaun too? i don’t remember

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?

god yes

57: Do you use chap stick?

nope. i prolly should tho, my lips have been chapped lately.

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?

yep.

59: Do you have a little sister?

nope – got two half-brothers old enough to be my dad.

60 - 65:

answered here.

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

yep. it was quite a while ago tho. like last january a while.

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

no. i want to, tho – i miss lilly.

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

someone else. i can’t sleep alone – just ask anyone who’s had to deal with me late at night just before i gotta pass out.

69: Will next Friday be a good one?

yep! i’ll have a new phone, and i’ll be on winter break, so ofc ofc.

#Anonymous

[bloomingchen]

hi just do them all

WHAT IS WRONG WITH U U MONSTER

UNDER THE FUCKING CUT BC THAT’S A LOT OF ASKS

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

yes and i hate it

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

also yes

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?

almost 2 years

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

i tried changing to get somebody’s attention but it didn’t work so i stopped

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

still friends B)

6: Have you ever been cheated on?7: Have you ever cheated?8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?

no to all three

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?

being happy with who ur with

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

not sure

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?

if we need to then yeah sure

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

no hookups babe

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

not focusing on my partner enough

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

when it’s legal

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?

to an extent

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?

yeah bc i’m a sap

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?

son i am in love on the internet

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

controlling me in any way

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?

when things get too quiet between u and ur partner(s)

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

HA

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

i mean i have so yeah

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

hell yeah man i could go on and on about this

23: How many relationships have you had?

2

24: Do you think love can last forever?

it could

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

probably

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?

if i love them then fuck no my parents can kiss my ass

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

PAY ATTENTION TO UR PARTNER U FUCK

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

what do u think mine were

29: What do you notice first about another person?

personality as cheesy as it sounds

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

none of the above fucker i’m demisexual

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

no?????? why in the fuck

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

thankfully no

33: Do you want to get married one day?

hell yeah i would

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?

not big on getting names tattooed but symbolic matching tattoos are nice

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

why couldn’t u

36: Are you still a virgin?

yep

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?

personality

38: Do you enjoy love films?

depends on my mood but usually yes

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

i almost gave somebody an origami rose but that backfired

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

yes

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?

bowling or movie night at somebody’s house with cuddling

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?

yes

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?

trick question my partner would be my friend so there’s ur answer

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?

i think so

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

dude u have no idea…….

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?

unfortunately yes

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?

u think ik that shit

48: What’s your favorite love song?

can’t help falling in love by elvis presley

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i might’ve

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?

bc i’m too chicken to step up and make the first move

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?

why is this even a question

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

god i hope so

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?

honestly yeah

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?

eh

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?

EH

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?

EHHH

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

not really??? how do i answer this

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?

undoubtedly submissive

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?

i write that shit down everywhere

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?

i’m cool with that

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?

partner bc i don’t like my family

62: How do you define “cheating”?

seeing someone else without telling ur current partner

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

no???

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?

depends when u ask me but for now i ogtta say yeah kinda (usually i say no)

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?

god yes

#amber #ur a heck ilu #about me