#because I think people assume malice more often than is perhaps warranted with internet strangers

[starryoak]

I’ve got to admit, I hate how sometimes it’s tone policing of me, but I really can’t help genuinely still thinking that generally, one should be polite to people you’re talking to online who haven’t insulted you or done something very obviously deliberately inflammatory, and that even then it’s worth trying to be as civil as you feel capable of. Part of me thinks it’s important to keep in mind that generally speaking, most people are normal people doing their best to go through life and you should try to talk to them as you’d like to be talked to, because most people aren’t trying to go out of their way to hurt others.

Like, not to say that you have to be nice to everyone all the time, or that you’ll never be snide accidentally or get snappy sometimes, but generally speaking I still operate under the belief that the rules of polite society apply to the internet as well when it comes to etiquette. 

(And really, by etiquette I mainly mean the bare minimum of not openly insulting others without provocation)

And honestly, it’s incredibly weird to me how much this puts me at odds with so much of the internet :/ like, i’ve spent years learning all this social ettiquete bullshit and suddenly it no longer applies. it makes me feel lost, that I’ve been taught a mode of communication that makes me out of place in an online world.

Like, intellectually I can understand the vastness of the internet and how many fucking lunatics there are on it makes it hard to be nice to everybody, and that there are people you shouldn’t have to be nice to, but after having it impressed on me so much constantly as a child and growing up that you have a duty to be polite and civil with others, I am genuinely unable to turn that mode of thinking off, that you should try to be polite and civil to people, and the only caveat I’ve managed to feel is that you don’t have to be nice to people who insult you. But if you’ve only just now talked to that person and it’s your first interaction? I do genuinely feel that it’s best to be civil with people.

#discourse #ettiquette #social media #i guess my philosophy online is #*bill wurtz voice* that’s a human person #obviously you don’t have a duty to be nice to your oppressors #but I think it’s always worth considering the other person’s perspective #because most of the time #youre talking to a normal person just like you #who is usually (USUALLY) not trying to harm anyone #its exhausting but honestly #if you interact with so many people that it’s hard to do that #maybe you should interact with less people #and again this isn’t about people who are like actively spewing slurs and insulting you and others #it’s about your everyday average interactions with people who aren’t acting out of malice #because I think people assume malice more often than is perhaps warranted with internet strangers #as a way to protect themselves #but it’s just a sad way to live in my eyes #thats sad because it’s necessary #because it is often necessary and that’s what’s so horrible about my feelings on this subject #that I understand in lots of ways I’m in the wrong #but it doesn’t change my feelings ):