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elaryssue · 4 years

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Opinions about the last chapter.

After reading lot of comments arguing about the latest chapter, I want to join the fight too \:v/

I have to admit this chapter felt like a mess, since HT's embarrassing actions to MGS's reactions, I didn't really know what to think, but after rereading it, I realized that it's just 19 days' comedy style. Everyone here should know how OX likes to make comedy with those kinky and dark jokes. Even zhanyi had plenty of those since the beggining to the middle of their story.

It's true Tianshan has more by far, that's always been like that, even in the time skip's chapters!! This may be due to the fact that it's a common BL trope. But, since the time skip's chapters are placed at least 4 years in the future, and it seems that HT is not always present during these, it may be strange for a character like MGS to not move on if he weren't really into him. By the way, he also looks more confident about themselves in the future artworks.

I just think Old Xian knows how to separate the serious and gap moments, this chapter wasn't a serious want, and I really noticed that with the last dialogue globe. That "someone helps me" would have been portraited in a different way if it were intented to be meanful, like the kiss escene. At this point everyone should know how OX likes to make comedy with those kinky and dark jokes. Even zhanyi had plenty of those since the beggining to the middle of their story.

Tianshan is not a vanilla couple, they have always been harsh and kind of dark. But not the point of showing this behaviour in a good way going that far. I think it's hardly possible to see a bath escene in the next chapter:

1.- it's Chinese

2.- this is shonen ai, not yaoi.

3.- that'd set the fandom on fire with a big frame with the word: RAPE just above it. Not just because of HT pushing MGS that far, but also the fact that they are minors, and that's kind of disturbing (even if my classmates might have done something like that at this point...).

What I beg for the next chapter to happen is:

HT pushing the joke a little further, MGS having enough (because he isn't a princess in distress who'd let someone do that to him) and smacking HT away, MGS scolding him about his behaviour during the night and how he hates it, then an awkward moment of silence, HT trying to apologize and explaining that just wanted to make something special for him. MGS still mad, he has reach his edge, but after some moments he is just tired and ask him for answers, why would he do that for him?, about the note, about everything. Maybe they are gonna talk seriously about their relationship, so at the end MGS agrees to stay the night with the condition HT won't try a weird move on him. Maybe we are going to see things falling in place?

I know this sounds more like a fanfic than anything, but the end of their last middle school year is coming and so the timeskip. We don't know if HT is going to leave as well as JY, but it will affect Tianshan in some way too, so some things have to be done before that .

I think at this point is clear that MGS has feelings for HT and that he has been letting his guard down for him recently. Everyone acts stupidly for love, HT and JY are the best examples, but MGS is not different from them, he is teenager who might also has curiosity about, you know... Even if that scares him to the bones, at least a very small part of him wants to spend time with the person he likes, even if there is the possibility of something happening. And this reminds me of the Christmas special. Why would MGS take HT to his own apartment after that weird interaction and receiving that gift if he wasn't into that? I mean, what would he expect from HT? Spend the night sleeping quietly in a couch? Hahahaha he knows him by far...

I not trying to say that they are gonna do something like that in the next chapter, but I hope to see them having a open talk about themselves. I think that would increase their liking for each other more than a sexy but kind of disgusting bath escene.

And well, we have to admit that those moments are kinky to watch anyway. XD👀

#19 days #manhua #bl comic #mo guan shan #he tian #tianshan #old xian

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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I mean I'm kinda embarrassed to ask this but for you think he tian and mo sleep together in the future I mean if you think about the story takes place in the past and you know mo and be tian have too be like 18 maybe 19 I dont know I always wonder will mo even let that happen between them because it is mo guanshan we are talking about

Hello, dear anon!

Please, no reason to feel embarrassed! I don’t mind these kinds of questions or talking about sex-related topics at all. The potentially physical aspect of the future Tianshan hasn’t come up that often, but I have touched upon it at least once before:

Confessing and being physical with each other

Anon had some interesting ideas about in what order things could turn out between Tianshan and how entering a physical relationship would fit into all that. I personally don’t put that much importance on getting a verbal confession. It will happen if it’s going to happen, but I can see their relationship develop even without one. I’m not sure if they will ever be “open” and verbal about things in the same way Zhanyi is.

“for [do] you think he tian and mo sleep together in the future”

Short answer, yes, I do.

I can definitely see why people might be hesitant to believe they will ever get there, but I can also see them taking that step. I mean, I doubt we will ever see that in the comic (for various reasons), but we’ll just have to use our imagination to fill in the blanks.

Let’s not forget they’re still in middle school. There is still a long way for them to go, but look at what progress they have made in a relatively short time. It just feels like eons to us.

Three things come to my mind when wondering the physical future of Tianshan and what makes me believe they will get there one day.

You mentioned that it feels like MGS would never want to take that “last” step with HT, and I can see why. His tsundere nature and how much he resists HT’s approaches on a daily basis tend to dampen the hope of ever seeing Tianshan becoming mutual, much less sexually active.

However, I don’t think MGS is unwilling to make decisions regarding his relationship with HT (ch. 283):

I doubt anyone was expecting him to ask HT for the studs, either, but it still didn’t feel out of character for him. I think that moment spoke about how MGS’s character works. For the most part, he’s a flustered tsundere mess who needs nudging and coaxing to get forward. But when he feels ready for it, he takes those steps by himself, too. And given MGS’s nature, those steps are something to which he’s ready to commit. He doesn’t make those decisions without thinking them through first and before he feels secure enough.

I wouldn’t say the studs were about him returning HT’s feelings, but I can see that same thing happening when they’re getting nearer to making their relationship physical. HT could have been angling for it for a while but I’m sure MGS wouldn’t let things progress until he’s comfortable with it. Nor would HT push him to do something sexual that he really doesn’t want to do. When MGS is finally ready, I doubt he would make such a face-on declaration of it. More like, if he’s letting HT get away with things, it means he has decided to do so.

The point is, even though MGS makes it all so difficult for us to believe they would ever get there, he might surprise you. And HT. He already has a couple of times.

Secondly, the Christmas specials have always kind of given me the vibe that there might already be a more physical aspect to their relationship (ch. 224, 313):

Of course, those panels could be very well taken just as HT being his pushy self and flustering MGS. I’m not trying to deny any of that interpretation. Actually, I think the topic of the boys being sexually active with each other might always be handled in this manner in the comic. It’s a fine line OX needs to tread, and MGS’s tsundere side gives the opportunity to leave the scenes and that topic kind of vague. HT makes a pass at him, MGS nervously sweats and curses at him, the end. The rest is left to us.

However - and I don’t know if this is just my wishful thinking - to me, that last panel especially of HT pushing MGS down always gives me a feeling that it wasn’t the first time it had happened. I can’t put my finger on what exactly makes me feel that way. Maybe the way HT seems to know how to go about pushing MGS down? Like he wasn’t doing it for the first time? And when it comes to being manhandled by HT, MGS doesn’t seem to have his guard as high as he used to? I’m not sure if I would go as far as saying they have had full-on sex already, but maybe they had made out some?

I don’t know. It’s just, something...Like, I wouldn’t have to stretch my imagination that much to picture HT leaning down and nuzzling MGS’s neck? And MGS would squirm under him and try to push HT off, but when HT’s warm weight slowly settles on top of him and he becomes kind of quiet in the crook of MGS’s neck...MGS frowns but he lets HT take a little moment. The bastard always seems so desperate to touch him, as if they will never see each other again.

And maybe, just maybe, being touched like that even causes a reaction in MGS’s body. But of course, such nonsense would be furiously denied when HT perks up and says “did you miss me, little Mo?” teasingly against MGS’s neck. And he would start nuzzling MGS in a different manner, dropping little kisses on the pale skin. Graze his teeth a little against the soft, sensitive spots? And MGS would still be struggling to free his hands, but his fingers are also digging into HT’s hand and HT can feel him shiver underneath him.

Something along those lines? Would that sound like too much of a reach?

Thirdly, there’s that one official illustration that is perhaps my most favorite of all the ones OX has published so far:

Sure, it could be argued how tightly the illustrations are tied to the canon of the actual comic. But since we all know Tianshan is the endgame, I don’t see why this one couldn’t be entertained at least as a promise of them getting to that point one day. And what’s the best part about that illustration (and what makes it my favorite) is how MGS is holding HT’s head. He’s not pushing him away or resisting, quite the opposite. It looks like he’s pulling HT closer. And judging by the way HT’s hair is falling down, he seems to be on top of MGS. So, at least something is happening.

Personally, I do see them getting physical in the future. I can picture it in my head despite how MGS is as a character. I am very doubtful we will ever see much of it in the actual comic, though. The most we’ll probably get is vague innuendo, conveniently cut scenes, and perhaps a kiss. But I don’t doubt that one day MGS will return HT’s romantic feelings and get more intimate with him.

Thank you for your question, dear anon!

#19 days #tianshan #mo guan shan #answered ask

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zhanyes · 4 years

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One Day

Zhan never knew liking someone was this...nice? That was one way to put it, but he still felt like it wasn’t enough to express the feeling of happiness he feels whenever he sees his bestfriend. Granted Jian yi has always been special for him, needing him to always be by his side, but not like this. Not not platonically.

He guessed this is what it feels like to have a crush (he wouldn’t go as far as to call it love yet). Of course he found other people attractive sometimes, but it never went beyond that. He feels as though all his thoughts are always about Jian yi, there's a need to always be closer to him and to fend off people trying to take away Jian yi’s attention from him. Knowing he feels the same way (maybe even deeper) just makes it all the more better.

He didn’t exactly know where they stand now, they never put a label to it, but they're at least aware of their feelings for each other. (Or Zhan thinks they do even though he never explicitly said it) They hold hands and kiss each other’s cheeks or forehead, look at each other far too long to be considered friendly, Jian yi being naturally clingy and Zhan being more accepting to it now, even going as far as to reach out sometimes.

Zhan was more than content with how things are going now, maybe even in the near (hopefully) future he could even ask Jian yi to be his officially.

What Zhan was not content with however was that Jian yi wasn’t with him right now. Well, he was, but not with him by his side, where he should be might he add.

They were at He Tian's because he decided to throw another party at his condo, as basically tradition now ever since they entered their last year of middle school, and invited everyone who wanted to dance and get wasted. Needless to say there were a lot of people.

Zhan never really grew out off his introverted side, although he does know how to be with people, he just prefers spending more time alone or with a few people he's comfortable with. Jian yi on the other hand was an enigma, more so than he was before. Being one of the most famous and most beautiful in their school, it was very easy for him to gather an audience and mingle.

He had always been unfairly beautiful, but now it reached new levels people couldn't help but fall for. He had grown out his pale blonde hair so it reached a little past his shoulder blades, and grew out his lanky figure into toned thighs and slim waist (and great ass), he looked straight out a model runway. That and he dressed like one as well, his fashion sense was impeccable. Everything he wore, from skirts, dresses, shorts, pants, sweaters, etc., fit him so well no one would complain. Not like they could anyway, Zhan didn’t get his knuckles bruised and scared everyone in their school (Even their seniors who thought it would be a good idea to pick on Jian yi’s skirt) just so his bestfriend couldn’t wear what he wanted to. Whatever he wants, Zhan will make sure he gets it.

God, he is so whipped.

But back to the topic at hand, his frown was currently getting deeper and deeper as he watched his baby talk with a group of boys, ever oblivious to the fact that they weren’t listening to whatever story he was telling and their lustful stares. He clenched his jaw as one of the boys, whatever that fuckace’s name is, gave another shot of probably a strong mix of alcohol to an already drunk Jian yi. Did they really think they’ll get away with that?

He stood up abruptly, and was about to storm over there and show exactly why that's not the right thing to do when He Tian grabbed his arm.

“Don’t cause a scene dumbass, you’re still in hot waters when you beat up She li and his gang. Jiyi won’t be happy.” He whispered and let him go, stalking off to bother his redhead. Zhan stopped for a few seconds and calmed himself down.

He Tian was right, Jian yi wasn’t happy when he pick fights with other people, which is mostly for Jian Yi himself. Not because he gave a single fuck about the people Zhan beats up, but because he didn’t like seeing Zhan hurt, even if the others are usually the ones ending up in a hospital.

Hearing shit li’s name brought up, renewed a different kind of anger in his body. He hated that freak and his freakshow gang. She li, like other stupid stupid boys, didn’t understand the concept of backing off. Jian yi wasn’t taken, yes, but he was definitely not available nor interested; and he made sure to tell them every single time. It's just that Shit li chooses to ignore that and pursue Jian every chance he gets. Zhan had enough of him making Jian yi uncomfortable.

So maybe Zhan doesn’t regret breaking his nose a little bit.

He sighed and focused on Jian yi, calming instantly as he put his arm around the blonde’s waist. He leaned and kissed his temple, glaring at the boys gawking at them. “Hey, baby.” He muttered loud enough for everyone else to hear.

Jian yi grinned as he looked at the other, eagerly kissing his cheek in return. “Xixiiii!!!” He exclaimed loudly, the other boys flinching from the shrill scream, and Zhengxi just smiling at him fondly, already used to the blonde’s loud mouth.

“Where have you been? I missed you, they’re all so boriiing.” He whined, motioning to the other boys with his alcohol occupied hand, accidentally spilling its contents on the floor and on some of the boys.

Zhan looked at the shocked boys smugly, before turning his attention back to Jian yi.

“I’m sure they were babe, how about we leave them and have our own fun, yeah?” He suggested, knowing the implications running inside the other boys’ minds. He smirked as Jian yi nodded quickly and held up his arms.

“Up you go then.” He said before putting him in a bridal carry. He cooed internally as Jian yi buried his face on his neck and mumbled a soft “sleepy.” He kissed the other’s forehead, before looking at the remaining boys, levelling them with a cold glare that made them shiver.

“If I see any of you near him again I’ll personally see to it that you won’t be able to attend another party, ever. Got it?” He asked. When he received no reply he growled out, “I said, got it?” The boys snapped out of it and nodded quickly, running away without looking back.

“Xixiiii~ so louuud.” The boy in his arms whined out, burying his face further into his neck.

“Sorry, baby.” He apologized quietly, walking towards He tian’s bedroom. It’s the safest place in the condo, and knowing He Tian (and by extension, Guanshan) wouldn’t mind if they stayed there at all.

The four of them had gotten incredibly close since second year and all of them already considered each other as family. Even Guan Shan, although it took him a lot to soften up.

He put the other on the bed gently and watched as he curled up and reached for him. “Xixi let’s sleep.” Jian yi muttered into a pillow.

“Just a sec.” Zhan replied as he took off the other’s jacket and his shorts, leaving him in his tanktop and boxers. He quickly took off his own clothes as well and joined him. Jian yi instantly closed the distance between them and tucked his head under Zhan’s chin while Zhan enclosed him in his arms and tangled their legs together, leaving a final kiss on the blonde's forehead.

“Goodnight, love. Sleep well.” He whispered.

“Goonight xishii, I love you.” Jian slurred, already half asleep.

“I like you too.” Zhan muttered. He waited for the other’s breathing to steady for a moment then closed his eyes to follow him into dreamland.

---------------------------------------------------

This is something I wrote a few months back because I had too much Zhanyi feels and not enough content. Fellow shippers cry with me

P.s. English isn't my first language so sorry if there's any mistakes

#19 days #19 days fanfiction #jian yi #zhang zheng xi #zhanyi #he tian #mo guanshan #mo guan shan #I wanna write them more #i also want to draw them more #Jealous Zhengxi is my religion so I have to write it

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gurakos · 5 years

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@nira18 sorry for the late reply, yes, the first hundred ‘chapters’ (not really because over the half of them were concept art but okay) were dedicated to zhanyi.

you know why? tianshan - didn’t - fucking - exist - yet. old xian has even admitted it themself in their 19 days book that they started the story with the plan only being focusing on two boys doing silly comedic shit and that it changed as time went on; hell it wasn’t even meant to have any actual plot in the beginning.

zhanyi were the only characters within the story. it’s not like the story started out with four and old xian deliberately chose to focus on zhanyi & and were forced to wait for tianshan’s part; and that’s how you guys make it sound with the “well ox had the beginning chapters with zhanyi” like obviously of fucking course ox did

tianshan literally have about the same number of chapters zhanyi have especially given within the past nearly two years, they’ve caught up quickly.

but the thing is that we should remember both of the couples already had their climax in the story for the the first part (zhanyi = accepted confession) and the start of the second part of the story (school hug = the start of the kidnapping storyline) like all of this points to wrapping the middle school arc and the same thing we can see in tianshan’s development with the restaurant scene ( mo guan shan being vulnerable with and accepting he tian) and he tian going to mo guan shan after escaping from his dad’s cabin ( start of the second act of the story he tian’s relation to the triad )

like we are literally being prepared for the larger storyline but nothing is happening like there is nothing wrong with the tianshan’s extra fanservice if it gave us more about the plot, upcoming storyline like these chapters could be more usefull on narrative bases but isn’t it just keeps away for the story and the overall plot and the worst part while it give us some cute moments it hasn’t done shit for their development and that is something we should realise it

#text #drama #19 days

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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We know that tianshan will be together in the future. but in your opinion, at what moment will either MGS or HT will realize they are in love. and now in middle school, do they like each other romantically even a little? Thank you in advance!

Good afternoon, dear anon-san!

Your question was probably the hardest one I’ve gotten so far. This is my third time starting my answer to this. Outlining this turned out to be quite a nut to crack because I don’t think there is a simple answer to your question. Tianshan is a continuum, so pinpointing or giving amounts of feelings is rather difficult. After scratching everything I had written the second time, I decided to take the long route and outline how I see the arch of Tianshan. Hopefully, that will show how hard I found your question.

In another ask, I divided Zhanyi’s story into segments, and I will be doing something similar to Tianshan. I went through the comic and in my eyes, there were some turning points that mark how their relationship has developed. I’ll be using these to give some structure to my answer.

TL;DR: I think HT has already come to the conclusion that he’s romantically interested in MGS. But he hasn’t found a comfortable way of expressing that quite yet despite expressing quite a lot of affection and dedication. MGS, on the other hand, is much trickier. I don’t think he’s in love with HT yet or even likes him in a romantic sense but he’s started to care about him. And even more importantly, he’s started to let HT have an effect on him and letting go of his need for control. Is he in love with HT in the future chapters? I think we’d need to know more to say for sure…

“You’ll answer to me from now on”

From the beginning, they were two forces colliding. MGS was distrustful and full of resentful sneering (ch. 138, 150, 155):

HT no doubt reminded MGS of SL, and he had learned not to trust rich guys like him the hard way. They were fake, cunning, and dangerous, merely looking for ways to take advantage of people less fortunate than them. They thought they could own MGS and look down on him.

For the most part, HT let MGS spit accusations in his face. The fact that MGS despised people like HT and thought they were scum, only showed his set of values. He was someone HT could respect for thinking like that. He saw himself in “fake”, “sinister” and “dangerous”, but they were also things he was looking to change about himself.

But when MGS went too far, HT was quick to dominate MGS and show which one of them was the boss (ch. 130, 138, 144, 150):

HT’s tone with MGS was rather different from what it is these days. MGS was allowed to diss HT’s kind of people but he wasn’t allowed to talk back. HT gave direct orders that were not to be ignored, threatened MGS, and often made MGS submit by physical force. This kind of behavior is often seen as abusive among the readers. HT made clear there was a power imbalance between them and his word was the law.

However, I think the way HT took control also created a sense of safety and security. In a similar way than parents set rules and limits to their kids, so there is safety and structure in their life. Another anon once proposed that HT was a father figure to MGS in that sense, and I would agree with the anon up to a point. By showing strength, HT showed MGS that he was someone who could be trusted and relied on. He could take the reins and MGS can follow him instead of trying to fight by himself. By taking control - albeit forcefully - HT said “it’s okay, let me worry about things”. Because MGS’s behavior ultimately stems from his distrust of people. Over the years, his defense had grown high and strong, and HT needed to be forceful to get through to him. MGS’s life was heading in a dangerous direction that could ruin his future, but MGS himself had kind of accepted his faith. HT needed to turn it around for him and decided he wouldn’t be using kid gloves.

And the thing is, MGS wasn’t exactly difficult to make submit. He might have cursed and spat when HT ordered him around, but it didn’t take that much from HT to make him listen. MGS’s delinquent act was very convincing and did scare off a lot of people - as it was meant to do. But when HT got that dark look in his eyes and grabbed MGS’s shirt, it didn’t take long for MGS to surrender. I think the same applies to MGS’s relationship with SL and Buzzcut. MGS is scared of SL but is respected and somewhat feared by Buzzcut (when MGS gets angry).

I wouldn’t say this first “phase” of Tianshan had any romantic feelings involved. I don’t think Tianshan was love at first sight. HT got interested in MGS for his own selfish reasons, and MGS’s resistance to him was much deeper and darker than what it is these days. It wasn’t about a tsundere just being a tsundere but rather about distrust and MGS not even wanting to know if he was in the right doing so.

After that, though, it gets more complicated and difficult to tell one feeling apart from another.

“Don’t try to shoulder everything by yourself”

This is when HT’s project “Outstanding Person” kicks off in earnest, and he continues using the carrot and the stick with MGS (ch. 160, 180):

One of the goals is to “hone down” MGS’s personality. And HT is pretty damn perfect for the job. In a way, he’s the “safest” person for it. On one hand, he has the strength to put MGS in his place when he’s acting out and the resources to keep him out of trouble by directing his focus on things that will benefit him. On the other hand, he’s also someone who won’t turn his back on MGS or get scared of him. He doesn’t believe MGS is a villain and won’t allow MGS to push him away by cursing and punching.

HT also doesn’t shy away from being harsh with MGS (ch. 150, 174):

As much as HT agrees that MGS has been wronged and unfairly made the villain by others, he doesn’t stand for giving up or “woe is me” attitude. MGS has had a difficult life in many ways, but it’s up to him to move forward. Clinging to the hurt and resentment is the easy way but it also affects his future when he accepts that kind of role. The unfair truth is, the world won’t apologize to MGS, so he might as well make something out of himself instead of spinning his wheels. And HT is there to help him with that attitude adjustment.

MGS started to realize he wasn’t alone when the gang helped him sort out the assault case. HT showed that all the strength he had - and there was a lot of it - was on MGS’s side and he should rely on HT (ch. 183, 185, 188):

For the first time, MGS saw HT as someone who wouldn’t use his power to take advantage of him. Perhaps HT was someone who was ready to fight for him, and - even more importantly - thought MGS was someone worth fighting for. The sense of relief and security when realizing you’re not alone anymore is one powerful feeling. And I think MGS came to see the first glimpses of that in his relationship with HT.

The ferocity with which HT stood up to SL has always made me think that maybe it was already about something deeper for him. Maybe it was about something else too rather than just making MGS into an outstanding person and HT trying to use his strength for good. Was his interest in MGS getting deeper than a pet project? Either way, I think it was the beginning of HT’s very personal war against SL and how much MGS’s connection to SL bothered HT.

In this “phase”, we also started to notice a change in how HT acted around MGS (ch. 155, 160, 173):

He went from threats and orders to mischevious grins and finding MGS’s feisty personality rather amusing. He started to tease MGS and grew devil horns and a tail to fit this new hobby of his. At the same time, MGS’s countless “fuck offs” and “scrams” started to lose their edge and became more comical when they were soundly ignored by smiling HT.

If I had to pinpoint when HT started having the first inklings of romantic interest in MGS, I would say it’s somewhere around this phase. There were two moments that make me think so. Firstly, perhaps the one that has confused the readers the most (ch. 160):

It was later revealed that he was lying, even though I have somewhat mixed feelings about the note MGS discovered. Personally, I read it as HT being conflicted about his own budding feelings towards MGS. Especially if he was lying about them as it said in the note. What he said went kind of against how he was often behaving around MGS. Perhaps this was the first time he was having feelings for another guy and needed a moment to figure things out for himself. Either way, I think it showed things were changing.

Another moment that might suggest other interests were starting to get involved was when HT was rather intimate while trying to intimidate MGS and got “sidetracked” (ch. 170):

To me, HT touching MGS’s lips like is an interesting, titillating dance between scary and sexy which I think is a pretty fitting tune for Tianshan even in the future. There’s always a sense of danger in HT, and I imagine he can get pretty intense in a sexual way. I think that caressing of lips can at least be read as a sign about which direction the tension between HT and MGS was going to head. Also, I know the groping was meant to be comedic relief and this kind of behavior isn’t new to HT, but still…I’d say it’s a weird thing to be distracted by if you have zero such interest in someone.

In addition to that, the comic also started to point out how innocent and inexperienced MGS was when it came to love and romance (ch. 160, 170, 174, 186):

He was grossed out and often lashed out in a fit of embarrassment. And of course, HT found this endlessly amusing and interesting and teased him about it even more.

However, it was their infamous first kiss that truly showed him he couldn’t be too careless with MGS (ch. 174, 175):

Even though I said earlier that I think this phase was when HT was starting to get romantically interested in MGS, I don’t think that kiss was about love or like or romance. He was simply teasing MGS, and it went quite epically wrong. He misjudged how seriously MGS would take it and massively overstepped the line. He seemed genuinely surprised by MGS’s violent reaction and how upset he was. As unfortunate as that was, it at least served as a learning experience. HT needed to have a serious mind and heart if he was looking to approach such matters with MGS.

I also think the kiss was a catalyst for something in MGS’s mind (ch. 177):

After calming down, he seemed dazed and confused, a bit out of it. I’m sure he was still upset but also something else. It doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with HT precisely, but despite everything, I believe it was MGS’s first kiss. That ought to make your head spin a little. After that, he started to become increasingly conscious of HT which moves us on to the next “phase”.

“I’m so bothered by you…”

This is when I think HT was starting to court MGS more seriously as if he had made up his mind. Although, his affections are still layered with other feelings: being guarded and not wanting to show his darkness, not quite having the courage to be openly serious about his feelings and masking them as teasing, fear of abandonment and the possessiveness that comes with it.

But I would definitely say his feelings for MGS are deepening. The different ways he looks at MGS alone are a good example fo that (ch. 210, 216, 263, 282, 296, 297, 205):

Admiration and respect. Possessive and anxious. Vulnerable and affectionate. Sometimes it’s as if MGS takes HT by surprise and he can’t help but halt to look at him. Other times HT can’t contain whatever he’s feelings - hide it behind his mask - and lets it show on his face, perhaps without even realizing it. I think all these different looks and expressions tell how many feelings MGS has evoked in HT who set out as a solitary savior with a strong mask to hide behind. HT has gotten more and more comfortable around MGS and trusted him to see more sides of himself.

Another thing that caught my eye was the increase in casual physical contact between HT and MGS (ch. 203, 205, 220, 221, 223, 237, 261, 280, 310):

HT seemed to be touching MGS whenever he could: hand over his shoulders, tussling his hair, grabbing his hand or just messing with him in general. And often he wanted to keep MGS bodily close - which in MGS’s case, also required physical contact since he isn’t too fond of HT touching him. Besides teasing and affection, the touching could also be comforting and protective.

Soon, both HT’s teasing and touching also started to become more and more suggestive (ch. 190, 202, 236, 261, 269, 280, 284, 288, 289, 290, 306, 311):

HT seems to enjoy teasing MGS and amused by the embarrassed reactions he manages to draw out of him. He likes to watch MGS blush and squirm. But what’s interesting about this is that HT is paying more mind to the invisible limits. MGS is still reluctant to the affection, but HT is taking his time, sneaking a glimpse of MGS’s ass here and a peck on the cheek there. He also seems to enjoy putting MGS in compromising positions and feigning innocence.

In return, MGS has become increasingly conscious of HT and bothered by him (ch. 214, 216, 222, 264, 268, 270, 273, 277, 284, 285, 298, 305):

HT’s close presence makes MGS nervous and conscious in a different way than in the beginning. He sweats, blushes, and overcompensates for his nervous energy and embarrassment by lashing out. And god forbid, someone implies that maybe - just maybe - someone or something is bothering MGS. He will rain Hellfire upon anyone suggesting such things, especially if they hint that HT might be the cause.

Of course, MGS’s “don’t tell me what to do” attitude hasn’t disappeared (ch. 200, 277):

And it never will go away. And HT never wants it to go away. MGS being someone who stands up to HT is something HT very much admires about him. Not to mention, what their relationship absolutely requires in order to work. This type of resisting is what’s in MGS’s nature, it’s out of pride. In the beginning, MGS resisted because he was suspicious of HT and despised him because he thought HT telling him what to do was him trying to take advantage.

But of course, it’s not like HT is letting MGS run his mouth as he likes or disobey him when it matters (ch. 210, 222, 287):

The power dynamic has leveled out but there are still times when HT lets MGS know, in no uncertain terms, when he’s crossed some line or needs to listen to HT. The unwritten rule remains that when HT is helping MGS, he’s not allowed to ignore HT. Also, HT seems quite sensitive to MGS talking about HT in the context of his family. He doesn’t want to be compared to them or MGS to think he’s one of them.

In addition to all the feistiness, MGS is also showing his duality as a tsundere (ch. 234, 236, 243, 246, 254, 255, 259, 309):

He curses and struggles against HT - and I don’t doubt he is annoyed by him - but also shows concern when HT is not around or is hurt. And that’s the thing about MGS. He will keep telling HT to fuck off and scram and “are we supposed to be familiar” but at the same time, if something happens he gets worried. He shows concern while averting his eyes, acting nonchalant, and griping his pants so he won’t reach out. He won’t try on the earrings - the ones he specifically asked HT to get him - in front of him but would rather escape to the privacy of the bathroom.

I would say this phase that we’re reading at the moment comes down to MGS being “bothered” by HT. In other words, HT is affecting him and it threatens MGS’s sense of control over himself. HT is persistently getting closer and closer, and MGS finds himself more and more affected by him. I don’t think MGS has fallen in love with HT yet or even romantically likes him, but he is doing something that is similar to those feelings: giving up control. And I think MGS asking for the earrings was a major sign of that. To him, it was a big deal and something fundamental.

About their future

When will MGS realize his feelings for HT? Is he crushing on HT in the Christmas and hot springs specials that take place in the future? My Tianshan heart wants to say “YES!”, but my more objective mind wants to remain cautious. I don’t think we know enough about the future to say anything for sure just based on the special chapters.

What we do know, however, we know for sure (ch. 224, 230):

The black studs are very much present in both future-related specials. Even if they don’t necessarily see each other that often due to HT’s traveling or just not being around, MGS is still wearing them. Let me say it again: MGS got them when he was in middle school and he is still wearing them when he’s at college (?) age. If that’s anything to go by, I’d give in a little to my Tianshan heart and say MGS has gotten further with his feelings for HT. (And I suppose it’s worth mentioning they seem physically more intimate in the specials, but then again, that might be just HT pushing it.)

The thing about Tianshan is that I’m not sure if MGS would ever confess his feelings out loud or even admit them to himself. He might just…let them be there. To me, Tianshan is the kind of relationship that they just let things develop without making explicit confessions or declarations. Even in the future, their relationship won’t probably have a specific category or term for it. They just are without necessarily needing to make it official. They just care about each other and let the other care about them. It’s about HT showing up and MGS sharing the bed with him. In MGS’s case especially, his love is in the gestures and actions rather than words. But at the same time, they’re both well aware of how much whatever they have means to them.

…Or I’m just too wrapped up in my own personal Tianshan aesthetics again.

For sure, I could’ve given a shorter answer but whenever I tried that I always felt like I needed to give more context. So…sorry, it’s a bit long. Again. And I don’t know if I even managed to give a proper answer, dear anon-san. Hopefully something satisfying enough. Thank you for your question!

#tianshan #19 days #mo guan shan #he tian #answered ask

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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1)I was impressed from your answer to the other anon about zhan so I decided to ask a question about this topic. Zhan looks to me like a guy that will have a "normal" life like falling for a girl and starting a family with her. Do you think it was hard for him to leave this idea aside and fall for jian? At what moment he was like "i like him too it's mutual" I also wanted to ask about jian sexually because zhang was the only guy jian ever showed interest in and he rejected the idea of him being

Good evening, dear anon-san!

“I was impressed from your answer to the other anon about zhan”

You must be talking about this ask about the possibility of Zhan Zheng Xi being quoiromantic. It introduced a really interesting perspective and offered me a chance to learn something new and get some food for thought. Probably for you, too. I’m glad to hear you enjoyed the answer, thank you!

“Do you think it was hard for him to leave this idea aside and fall for jian?”

I share your idea and the mental image of seeing ZZX as the one out of the four to most likely have a girlfriend, get married, and start a family. To have a “normal” life and future, for the lack of a better word. I always had that feeling mostly because his family seems to be the most ordinary. No absent parents, no connections to the underworld, no great tragedies or traumas. I don’t mean to sound like you would have to have something bad happen to you to “turn” you gay etc. More like he just always struck me as a character who would end up with an ordinary job and a wife and kids.

However, I’m not sure if ZZX was really seeing his future quite that way even prior to Jian Yi’s confession. I know ZZX is very mature for his age, but would a 15-year-old boy plan his future in such a serious way? I think, as any middle school boy, he found girls, crushes, and romance quite bothersome (ch. 51 and 102):

He just probably wanted to spend his days going to school, playing video games and basketball, reading his favorite comics, and hanging out with his best friend. Girls and romance were complicated and put him on a spot.

But I suppose you meant that more in the sense of going against the norm in general. I don’t know if ZZX had been planning/expecting/dreaming to have a normal life with a wife and kids but I do believe he very much identified as a heterosexual. And I most definitely believe finding out about JY’s feelings for him and later about his own feelings for JY must have become as a shock and required him to figure himself out again. He might not have been planning to have a wife and kids in so many words but to reach his resolve regarding JY’s confession he must have had to give his future a serious thought. And to realize he might have to give up those “normal” things was probably difficult despite the fact that his love for JY was gaining a new kind of tone.

But instead of thinking there’s some “normal” direction in life that he has to follow, I think ZZX puts more emphasis on making sure his romantic relationship is loving and caring. That comes across by the way he turned down Xiao Hui and how he acts around his younger sister (ch. 159 and 262):

When it comes to both platonic and romantic love, ZZX is serious-minded, loyal, in it for the long haul, protective, and caring. That’s the kind of brother, friend, and partner he wants to be and grow into. Of course, being in a same-sex relationship wasn’t most probably ZZX’s first idea for his future but “normal” wasn’t as important as being with someone who couldn’t be replaced. If he wasn’t thinking so far ahead already, he might have accepted XH’s confession. I mean, what teenage boy wouldn’t want to have a girlfriend even if they didn’t have the first clue about love?

So, in short, I don’t think falling in love with JY was so much about leaving the path of normal in ZZX’s mind as it was about finding what he wanted in a surprising and somewhat shocking direction.

“At what moment he was like "i like him too it's mutual"”

Personally, I see two turning points in how Zhanyi progressed: “do you like men?” and “do you like me?”. In my head, they divide their story and ZZX’s character development into three segments.

The time before JY kissed ZZX JY’s love had been unrequited for a long time, but he hadn’t been fully hiding his affections. He jokingly clung to ZZX and often sneaked physical contact and made mischevious, half-serious passes at him. It was a strange mix of joking around but being serious at the same time. And a lot of the pull of the story in the early days was based on the thrill that we as readers knew about JY’s feelings.

As far as we know, ZZX didn’t know about JY being in love with him but...I don’t think he was completely oblivious, either. I’m not talking about him just getting ragingly embarrassed whenever JY clung to him but rather him being aware of JY’s feelings in a more serious and specific way at least on some level. Two instances especially come to mind.

When ZZX took JY to mountain climbing on his birthday because - and I quote - there was “a place he had always wanted to bring JY to”. As typical as it is for teenage boys to say such things to each other, I’m even more interested in the little moment they had about making wishes to the stars (ch. 113):

According to ZZX, one has to keep the wish in their heart for it to come true, but JY wanted to try to guess ZZX’s wish through his palm. First of all, the chapter ends after that panel with ZZX asking “Did you guess it?”. The question was highlighted by appearing on a blank white background on its own which suggests it wasn’t ZZX just simply asking. Was his wish perhaps something along the lines of always being together with JY?

Another thing that always catches my imagination about that panel is that it also looks like JY is trying to teleport his own wishes over to ZZX. He wants to voice his wish (confession, feelings) but it’s scary for various reasons. So, he sneaks yet another moment of physical connection (and quite tender at that) with ZZX and perhaps has a little moment for himself imagining and dreaming what it would be like.

The first sign that ZZX might be aware of JY’s feelings is immediately followed by another in the next chapter when they’re on their way back home. Before they part ways JY calls for ZZX and begins to say something to him (ch. 114):

To us, of course, it was clear he wanted to say something. Perhaps something along the lines of “what would you say/how would you feel if I told you I like you?”. Whatever he wanted to say he came close to saying it but changed his mind. But did ZZX also catch something? Because his reply was somewhat interesting:

I don’t think he meant it as merely “I’ll wait for you at the station tomorrow”. I’m sure he didn’t know what was bugging JY exactly but it was something and clearly meant a lot to him. And he wanted JY to able to confide in him because as far as ZZX was concerned, they were the kinds of friends who wouldn’t have to keep secrets from each other. But he didn’t want to pressure JY either. “Whatever it is, I’ll wait for you until you’re ready.”

Could all of that hint that he had a feeling, an inkling, something, about what might have been on JY’s mind?

“Do you like men?” and JY’s sexualityThese two themes intertwine, so I’m going to give you my two cents about JY’s possible orientation at the same time. Let’s start with JY. You didn’t make any direct suggestions but mentioned him only being attracted to ZZX but also rejecting the idea of liking men in general (ch. 142):

Personally, I interpret JY as a budding homosexual despite what he said to ZZX. I don’t see his words so much as a rejection of the idea as ZZX just asking him the wrong questions. The kiss wasn’t about JY liking guys (and coming out to ZZX) but him liking ZZX.

We haven’t seen JY being attracted to guys in general, but I think he’s very much still figuring out his sexuality despite his feelings for ZZX. Even if he had been in love with ZZX forever he was still scared and unsure. It seems that his feelings for ZZX and ZZX later returning them have both confused JY and taught him new things about himself (ch. 143 and 187):

Then again, there have been a couple of times when being attracted to guys in general has been brought up regarding JY’s character (ch. 108 and 122):

But I would read these moments as JY being a typical teenage boy. As a 15-year-old boy having a secret crush for your best friend, you wouldn’t probably be open about what or who you like. Especially, to another guy. I’m sure he’s more than aware of the risk that kind of confession would mean. Not only confessing his feelings for ZZX could go horribly wrong but people knowing about him could (and probably would) attract discrimination. Some time ago I answered another ask about homophobia in 19 Days if you want to read more about this topic, but overall I think JY denied He Tian’s playful suggestions because they’re teenagers and boys.

Overall, I think Zhanyi is very much a coming-of-age story and deals with identity-related themes. That entails a lot of vagueness, confusion, reflection, and hazy, ever-developing feelings. I don’t think it would be impossible for JY to identify as a homosexual after the turmoil of his teenage years.

But let’s get back to ZZX and what that moment in the rain meant for him. The kiss flipped their relationship upside-down in ZZX’s head. It wasn’t the usual case of JY just being an idiot and messing around; he couldn’t just get embarrassed-mad at JY or otherwise brush it off. He was shocked and confused but above all, he saw his lifelong best friend crying and being so scared ZZX would abandon him in disgust.

ZZX realized that despite all the years they had been best friends there had been this huge part in JY he hadn’t known about. In my mind, the first initial revelation marks the second segment in their story. Suddenly, ZZX was in a situation in which he had to figure out and build their relationship from the start in his head. He saw his childhood friend in a completely new and strange light (ch. 151):

There’s always been one thing I’m a bit confused about when it comes to the time after the kiss but before JY’s final confession. ZZX asked JY multiple times about what he was really thinking and feeling (ch. 147, 150, 152, and 153):

Did he just want JY to be honest with him? Open up and trust him? Or was distressed by the idea of not knowing about and understanding something this fundamental about his best friend? Did JY hiding things make ZZX uneasy because it proved their connection wasn’t 100% and he didn’t really know JY after all? I’ve always struggled to understand what the questions were all about. But I suppose it fits ZZX’s character that prefers to be straightforward and not have secrets that could lead to misunderstandings. From his point of view, I guess the situation was also a bit unfair. He saw clearly that JY was suffering because of him but he didn’t let ZZX help either by allowing them both to be on the same page.

ZZX was trying to be considerate and supportive but he wasn’t ready to jump fully on board with JY’s feelings. Especially, since he felt like he didn’t have all the answers yet. However, him being understanding but hesitant seemed to cause JY more pain, and it was a bit of an emotional limbo for both of them.

“Do you like me?” and ZZX’s resolveZZX came the closest to losing JY for good when he was kidnapped the second time. And this time around he had been even more helpless than when He Cheng had come for JY. I think all of that helped ZZX in reaching a resolve regarding his feelings for JY. Somewhere along the way, JY had become someone who couldn’t be replaced in more ways than just friends. And the thought of not having JY in his life both scared him but also made him realize the romantic feelings were mutual. Perhaps they had always been there - lying dormant or mixed in with his more platonic feelings.

I see this resolve being a noticeable change in ZZX’s character. He matured, adapted this new level of responsibility and seriousness of returning JY’s feelings and wanting to protect him. Overall, he was on a much firmer footing again - or, as JY put it, he leveled up. By making up his own mind and acting more confident he could now ask JY to give him his answers, too (ch. 206 and 207 and 209):

For ZZX, the feelings were already mutual when JY officially confessed. His answer wasn’t “me, too” but “I know”. When ZZX kissed JY’s forehead I saw them becoming canon. ZZX still needs time to get used to it all but he did accept and return JY’s feelings and made a promise of sorts that JY did have a future with him. And this marks the third segment of their story. Now they can start figuring out this new aspect of their relationship.

Phew.

This was the first more comprehensive question and answer I’ve done about Zhanyi. It was nice and refreshing to talk about them for a change! So, thank you very much for giving me this chance. I never thought I’d have to this much to say about them. I hope I managed to answer your question to your satisfaction!

PS: Also, thank you for your concern and consideration. It warmed my heart, and I appreciate it!

#zhanyi #Zhan zheng xi #Jian Yi #19 days #answered ask

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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i feel like jian yi uses emotion to influence zhan zheng xi's decision. when he talks about his sexuality he is either crying or on the verge of crying which i think softens zhan zhengxi's attitude towards him. i don't get people that are saying zhan zheng xi is demisexual and not interested in girls at all and when his only encounter with girls is xiao hui? who is his stalker. it is very natural for zhan zheng xi to dislike her. i feel like jian yi is very manipulative.

Good evening, dear anon-san!

Before we get any further, I got your another ask that it’s okay if I won’t answer your question. I’m not sure why you felt that way but you had gone through the big trouble of writing your thoughts, so I want to try and give you mine. Also, I don’t talk about Zhanyi too often, so I don’t want to pass chances when people give me a nudge to do so. Anyway, I hope you won’t mind I decided to answer your ask.

You had a lot of things to talk about, so I thought I would give my thoughts some structure by picking up some overall themes.

A bit of a TL;DR: I imagine your interpretation of Jian Yi’s character is very much of an unpopular opinion. And I’m afraid I won’t be agreeing with it very much because I have always read him and his relationship with Zhan Zheng Xi quite differently. That being said, though, I do want to applaud your courage to share your views with us. It makes me feel privileged that you feel comfortable enough with me to be open about your opinions.

Zhan Zheng Xi and Xiao Hui

Let’s start this with perhaps the easiest topic: XH having a crush on ZZX. It’s true she didn’t really hide her feelings for ZZX. She tried to muster up enough courage to deliver her confession letter many times and also approached him directly. However, it was clear ZZX was bothered and felt uncomfortable by her affections. (ch. 51, 52, 98, 99. 102, and 156)

She was quite persistent and forward, but I don’t think she deserves to be called a stalker. Not even close. I think we’re forgetting that middle school is that awkward time in life when it’s starting to be noticeable that girls develop faster than boys. Girls of that age can actually be very open about their crushes while boys feel embarrassed, bothered, and annoyed by them. Nor are boys really interested quite yet. I think that’s very much apparent in ZZX and XH’s case.

A short storytime. When I was in middle school (about 12-13 years old) I had the most intense crush on this boy in my class. My very soul was consumed by how much in love I was with him. And I had no problem being open about it, either; I gave him birthday and Christmas cards publically, forced him to write on my friends book, and overall was quite pushy with him. He never returned my passionate feelings but was rather annoyed, embarrassed and disgusted by them. After two years, my feelings passed. Was I a stalker, though? I don’t think so.

So, yes, it was very understandable and realistic for ZZX to be bothered by XH’s advances but I wouldn’t brand her as a “stalker” and make too direct conclusions about their relationship. Rather I think that’s how it usually goes in that age.

Jian Yi and Xiao Hui’s letter

Overall, JY was in a very difficult position when he found out about XH’s feelings for ZZX. On one hand, he was very much in love with ZZX, and it had been his most precious secret that he’s both wanted to confess and hide. Worst case scenario, his romantic feelings might end their childhood friendship or put them in a position where others could easily discriminate and bash them. On the other hand, XH’s advances put pressure on JY and painfully remind him that it’s not as simple for him to confess and be open about his crush. I have always sympathized with him because being in that position can be very painful and conflicting. (100, 101)

I mean, imagine someone asked you to deliver a confession letter to the person you have been in love with for years. Can you imagine how crushing that would feel? A big part of me, at least, would certainly think my crush was doomed. And it was obvious JY struggle between doing the right thing and doing what his heart wanted to.

When JY agreed to give ZZX her letter on the condition that she won’t come near him, I think that was the most manipulative JY got in that whole story (ch. 100):

And I don’t think even that was very successful. He told her to stay away but... what was the endgame? Was JY’s plan to make her believe he had given ZZX the letter and prevent her from finding out the truth by telling her to keep her distance? But at some point, she would have grown anxious and approached ZZX again, right? The truth would certainly have come out eventually.

I think he hadn’t thought it through at all but rather that “don’t come near him” plan was a desperate attempt to buy some time. I don’t see that as JY trying to isolate ZZX in a toxic way at all but rather him trying to prolong the inevitable. His feelings for ZZX never had the same promise of a future as XH’s feelings - and straight love, in general.

Also, let’s not forget that JY did end up giving ZZX the letter despite his own difficult position (ch. 102):

What ZZX said made him realize it wouldn’t be right for JY to decide things for him. He couldn’t advance his own goals that way and feel good about it. But at the same time, giving ZZX that letter put JY’s feelings at a big risk. Basically, JY came close to watching the person he loved returning someone else’s feelings. I’m not sure I could have done the same if I had been JY, and I bet many of us would have struggled to make up our minds, too. Would that make us toxic manipulators, though?

Xiao Hui’s letter exposed

XH’s confession letter being exposed to everybody was a messy situation for all parties. It exposed so many private and vulnerable feelings for anyone to see and make fun of. And usually, the more we want to protect something inside us, the stronger we react when it’s either exposed or poked at.

Even if I don’t really see JY worrying about ZZX’s reputation as a bad thing or something problematic, I have always wondered about that part (ch. 158):

It always seemed like an odd thing to worry about in that situation to me. But I suppose he just didn’t want ZZX to become the center of gossiping. People were making fun of the letter and both its writer and who it was addressed to. Again, romance is quite a tender topic at that age, especially publically. To be involved in those kinds of things - even involuntarily - would most probably put you in the kind of awkward position that you can never quite live down. So, yeah, even if my center of worries wouldn’t probably be protecting ZZX’s reputation, I still get where JY was coming from.

I also suppose JY didn’t want XH’s crush to be public knowledge because it made his situation that more difficult and an uphill battle. The rumors and gossips would stoke and contribute to the overall rhetoric that ZZX has a girlfriend or that he’s popular among girls. But again, I don’t really see that line of thinking as manipulative. I don’t think he was pretending to be sad or trying to provoke XH to make her look bad in ZZX’s eyes. I’m sure I would have felt somewhat the same in his situation, actually.

However, I do agree that readers (if that’s what you meant by “people”) were too eager to brand XH as a problematic homophobe and hate her guts. What she said was wrong and hurtful but still not that surprising (ch. 158):

She had been publically humiliated and her feelings had been made of by everyone. She was hurt and embarrassed, and when JY blamed her she lashed out and threw the easiest and most obvious insult she could think of. I don’t think it’s fair to judge her whole character based on one moment when she was so vulnerable and humiliated.

What comes to ZZX, I don’t think it was a case of him conveniently walking in when JY had been bashed by XH and him judging the situation wrongly (JY as the victim and XH the villain). The way ZZX handled the situation tells us that he could see behind the emotional escalation and recognized the pain both JY and XH were suffering (ch. 158 and 159):

He understood XH had poked a very vulnerable spot with her “disgusting gay” remark and why JY had gotten upset. Not long ago before the letter incident, he had seen how insecure JY was about his feelings for someone of the same sex and how scared he was of being rejected because of it. It was the last thing JY wanted people to talk about out loud but also where you could hurt him the most.

But ZZX also realized the situation XH was in and why she had lashed out. He was very gentle with her and treated her feelings with respect despite turning them down. He saw his own little sister in her, not a villain or a bad person. I’m sure his reaction would have been vastly different if he had thought XH was out to deliberately hurt JY.

Jian Yi’s orientation and manipulation

I can’t say I see JY using emotions to knowingly influence and manipulate ZZX’s decisions but I do think ZZX has an obvious soft spot for his best friend. It goes all the way back to their childhood when ZZX promised to protect him, and later JY’s special place in ZZX’s eyes is represented by the rhetoric of lifelong promises between them (ch. 97, 127, 159, 161, 169, 285):

To me, that’s pretty much the essence of ZZX’s character. He’s loyal, protective, and surprisingly comfortable being so caring. We can see him treat his little sister very similarly to how he treats JY. So, when he sees his best friend crying and thinking there’s something wrong with him because he’s different from others, it’s his second nature to comfort and reassure JY.

Overall, JY has talked about his orientation or feelings for ZZX three times in the comic so far in a way that has changed the course of the story. (If you wish to read more about how I see the Zhanyi storyline go check out my other earlier answer.) The most shocking and dramatic turning point for both of them was probably when JY’s feelings came to light for the first time (ch. 143):

I really can’t see JY being emotionally manipulative at that moment. I would say his reaction is more than understandable and realistic instead. I don’t know if you have ever had to come out to anyone about your sexual orientation, dear anon-san, but it’s always a nerve-wracking experience. I’ve told about my own bisexuality to my parents and best friend and it was insanely scary both times even if I was confident they wouldn’t have a problem with it. Despite everything, there’s always that little “what if” rattling in your head.

Now, multiply that by XXX and put yourself in JY’s raincoat. He was a teenage boy who had just kissed his lifelong best friend and couldn’t play it off as a joke. The more he tried to run and hide, the more the feelings he had buried for years poured out in a mess of tears and fragmented thoughts. I mean, we had read about how deep their friendship ran for 100+ chapters by then but I’m sure many of us were still nervous and unsure about how ZZX would react.

However, ZZX isn’t unable to set his limits even when offering comfort. I think that was apparent the second time JY’s feeling were addressed when JY was drunk and looking for something ZZX wasn’t ready to give him yet (ch. 165):

JY was genuinely very emotional and in a vulnerable place but ZZX had to reject him. I actually talked about that moment in one of my earlier answers because I have always found it interesting and complicated. JY was so insecure and afraid of ZZX rejecting him that he wanted to push the limits to find out how ZZX felt about him (both being in love with him and someone of the same sex). It almost seemed like he was tired of being anxious and kind of wanted to get it over with. But ZZX wasn’t quite there yet. He had expressed his support when it came to JY liking men but wasn’t ready for what JY was really feeling. Unfortunately, that meant he had to hurt the already vulnerable JY but the bottom line is, he did reject him. He might have a lot of affection for JY but he’s also very in tune with what he wants and isn’t ready for. That’s also a part of him being honest and loyal. If he had allowed JY to have his way, ZZX wouldn’t have been true to JY or himself.

The third and last time was when JY finally, officially confessed and - according to my interpretation - ZZX returned his feelings. Again, I don’t see JY being emotionally manipulative but there is one aspect that has always caught my attention (ch. 209):

JY says he likes ZZX so much he’s about to explode and whether it’s about their past or future, it’s always been and will always be about ZZX. This time JY’s fear of rejection manifests itself a bit differently, though. He kind of rejects his feelings himself before ZZX even says a word. He already knows ZZX isn’t happy about being loved by another guy and his best friend at that, so there’s no need for ZZX turn him down. Also, by seemingly shifting the goal of his confession (you won’t feel the same way but at least I finally said it) JY is protecting himself.

Could that behavior be taken as manipulation? I guess on some level, but I think it’s also a very natural and realistic reaction. It can be used to influence someone’s decisions but it’s also a defense mechanism. One that I - and I’m sure many others - can personally relate to very much. And I don’t see JY saying those things in that situation as a way to try and make ZZX feel sorry for him and return his feelings that way. This was the first time he was completely open and honest about his love for ZZX - confessing while looking straight into his eyes - so it’s no surprise he behaved defensively like that.

Also, I believe ZZX had already made up his mind about what his answer would be before he even asked the question. He had reached his resolve and was comfortable with it. All he needed was for JY to say the words out loud.

Jian Yi, Mo Guan Shan, and He Tian’s money

Okay, the last topics! This was something you only briefly mentioned but I felt like they supported your view on JY that already differed quite a lot from mine, so I thought I would give my two cents about these, too.

I think JY is exactly the kind of friend Mo Guan Shan desperately needed when he was falsely accused of assaulting that girl. In fact, JY is the kind of friend all of us should have: someone who won’t hesitate to stand up for us. Because I don’t think “anyone would have done the same thing” for MGS. Actually, that’s why She Li picked him as the scapegoat in the first place (ch. 178, 186, and 184):

Not only did SL take advantage of knowing MGS was a social outcast at school and people were prejudiced against him so no one would even doubt the things said about him but he also knew MGS didn’t have the kind of friends who would step in. He Tian most certainly was one of them, but so was JY the way he didn’t hesitate to barge into the office and loudly demand justice for MGS (ch. 185):

Let’s remember, when the assault case was going on HT, JY and ZZX were the only ones defending MGS. Not even the teachers seemed to think “innocent until proven guilty” or even entertain the thought that MGS might not have done it.

What comes to JY talking about HT having a lot of money (or being rich or poor in general), I think it’s just a part of him being cheeky and the kind of humor 19 Days has. JY’s character has this obliviously and unapologetically immature side that can be a bit annoying at first but soon becomes one of his most lovable features. I never took this side of him as an offense but rather him just being a 15-year-old boy among other teenage boys that will fire back just the same (ch. 258, 296, 298, 301, and 310):

JY doesn’t really have a filter and he likes to brag a little when, for once, he’s in that kind of position, but there’s no true malice in his words.

A few quick notes that I won’t get into deeper than this:

I don’t know about ZZX being demisexual but overall BL does seem to have this trend of making male protagonists fall in love with each other without identifying as LGBT. BL has been criticized for this because it’s a way to avoid talking about the fact that men who are attracted to other men are, in fact, gay (or bi). In many BL stories, the protagonists are portrayed as straight and them falling for a guy is just special circumstances and they’re gay for just that one guy. And while I don’t personally have a major problem with it, I can’t deny it feels a bit of a cop-out. Does Zhanyi fall into that category? On some level, I guess, but it’s also too early to say. The boys are just figuring out who they are as individuals, so JY, for example, identifying as gay might be said out loud one day. Don’t think that will ever happen in ZZX’s case, though.

I also don’t think JY is trying to isolate ZZX from other people. Now that he’s more secure regarding ZZX’s feelings for himself and their relationship, he’s even included XH to their group.

Phew!

Was that all? I think that was at least the most of it, if not all. If you think I skipped something or would like me to elaborate on something, let me know!

As I warned you in the beginning, I ended up disagreeing with the majority of your interpretation. Hopefully, I wasn’t too harsh with my wording or ways of putting things. Even if our views were pretty much the opposite to each other, your thoughts prompted me to look at JY’s character and Zhanyi from a new perspective. And that’s always a good thing. Thank you again for that opportunity and for sharing your interpretations with us, dear anon-san!

#zhanyi #Jian Yi #Zhan zheng xi #19 days #answered ask

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 5 years

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I’ll start my Zhanyi appreciation post by admitting that, as much as I adore Zhanyi, I’m not as passionate about them as I am about Tianshan 😅 They’re the original couple that got me hooked on 19 Days, and I definitely root for them, but their developments don’t make an emotional mess out of me or give birth to overlong ramblings on Tumblr.

All that being said, it’s not like I don’t have anything to say about these two.

My favorite thing about Zhanyi is that both Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi are on board with their relationship after JY’s confession. It’s refreshing when, in the meantime, every little step Mo Guan Shan and He Tian inch forward is accompanied by either a litany of insults or a fistfight. In most cases, both. Even though ZZX wants to take their relationship at a gradual pace (let’s remember, they’re still in middle school...), it’s obvious he’s devoted to JY.

All of that seems to come together in this umbrella moment which is why I picked it as my most favorite (so far).

To me, it all culminates in that scribble on the wall and what it means to ZZX.

Basically, the drawing tells us two stories: one about all the passion that is puppy love and another about for how long that flame - if quick to flare up - usually lasts. The highest high that was meant to last happily everafter and the lowest low that ends the world when it almost never does. And there’s nothing wrong that. Teenage crushes and relationships are all a part of being young and carefree and learning things about yourself and relationships.

Interestingly, though, what JY and ZZX have is seemingly yet another teenage love story but actually carries a deeper bond. And the significanse of that difference doesn’t seem to escape ZZX either.

To say ZZX is very mature for his age would be an understatement. He’s serious and responsible and someone who would never string JY along emotionally but means what he says. And he also expects JY to be honest with him. For someone his age, he’s surprisingly confident and comfortable with JY’s feelings for him.

Of course, that doesn’t mean it comes easy to him. I’m sure he went through a lot of emotional turmoil and heart-searching to get to this point in his relationship with JY. But the thing is, he has the maturity to go through it and come up with a resolution.

Which is what I see in this moment when he pauses to look at - to think about - the scribble on the wall before wiping it off.

It makes him think about not only his own feelings but also those of his peers. This private moment he had makes me think his “confession” was also a silent promise to both JY and himself. Their relationship would be more than a teenage crush because it already is more than that. It’s not just about being in love; JY is someone who can’t be replaced, so not being together forever isn’t even an option.

Which, paradoxically, makes it sound even more like all the other teenage love stories under the sun. The difference is that we’re talking about ZZX. He wouldn’t make these kinds of decisions just willy-nilly but thinks them through carefully so he can continue to live by them.

What I love the most about this moment are its subtle yet strong contrasts. It was a private moment for ZZX but he was still surrounded by other people just around the corner. He “confessed” his feelings publicly but in a way that would fade away in just minutes. The wather would dry and the picture disappear but his feelings and resolution would always stay there.

This moment also carries some bittersweet undertones. The original drawing represents the norm: a boy and a girl in love. One of the stickfigures has a skirt, so it’s “normal” and no one has to be uncomfortable. It’s safe for those kinds of couples to declare their love openly.

But if there are no skirts included, it’s a whole other story. And I’m not just talking about China and its hella problematic treatment of LGBT people, or minorities in general. (Or its people, period.) This is a problem around the world despite some of the amazing progress made in many countries. The discrimination is in the attitudes and long looks. Fortunately, the generations keep changing and with that, comes gradual chance.

However, to be open about their relationship would most probably never be an option for JY and ZZX. Something as simple as holding hands in public would take courage and threaten to complicate other aspects of their lives (school, work, family). They don’t have the same privilage as the straight teenagers to share their feelings and have that universal experience.

Their scribbles on the wall would have to be made with water and in private probably for the rest of their lives.

30 day 19 Days challenge

#30 day 19 days challenge #zhanyi #19 days #Zhan zheng xi #Jian Yi #old xian

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