#been super irritable n assholeish i feel bad

[thepunksink]

my dumbass thinking a few sips of hard liquor or maybe a beer won't hurt if I'm just in a social setting or something: *sip* see I can do this I'm good I'm not even drinking more than this good job me

Me every second of every day for the next two fucking weeks: IneedadrinkIneedadrinkIneedadrinkIneedadrinkIneedafuckindrinkgodfuckingdammitfuckeverybodyaroundmeIneedagODDAMDRINK

#if anyones wondering no i havent gotten drunk for 2 months ish now #i keep having one beer here and there cos i convince myself i dont rly have a problem #and then the next to weeks fucking blow #the other day i went to a show n had a few sips of vodka i have for herbalism stuff #i felt awkward n wanted to take the edge off #ended up giving the rest away before i could even get buzzed #but ive been really fighting myself to not get fucked up every day since then #been super irritable n assholeish i feel bad #yeet for not getting drunk though #lord knows id be fucked if i could rn though #hhh #doesnt help that Ive been chugging coffee n blasting fidlar to cope #or maybe it does help who knows #thank dog ive been busy all day every day these past few weeks #when I get home I go straight to sleep n my cravings always hit when Im out doing work or something #cant get fucked if I gotta be driving around #lord #journal