#before saying she was going to prescribe an alternative prn

[shoutsindwarvish]

i had what might’ve been a neurological event over a month ago (that i wrote off as psychosomatic until my therapist told me to talk to my doctor) and my pcp referred me for an mri to find out for sure. all well and good (albeit nerve-wracking), especially since i’m lucky enough to have the money for it right now. i’m scheduled to get it in about a week.

i had an regularly scheduled appointment with my psychiatrist a few days later and told her what had happened and also that i have a lot of anxiety about it but otherwise feel fine. she freaked out and told me to reduce my antidepressants immediately because she thinks it might be serotonin syndrome. even though 1) i looked up the symptoms of serotonin syndrome and literally none of the symptoms match, 2) it makes absolutely no fucking sense because i’ve been taking the same meds for over a year and never had this happen until now (and the other two similar events in the past happened BEFORE i started taking new meds) and 3) she didn’t even bother saying i could have adverse effects or ask how i’d like to proceed. i mentioned that i know i’ll have withdrawal and if it’s necessary she just ignored me and told me to do it

that was thursday and the ssri withdrawal is starting to hit real bad and i’m bitter because i don’t think she gives a fuck that she’s causing me suffering and she just wanted to feel like she was doing something and now i’m dizzy and nauseous and feel Wrong™️ and it could’ve been completely fucking avoided, i felt perfectly fine other than anxiety (which lowering meds will not help). this is not the first time she has made a med change without giving a shit about my input. (yes, i could disobey her, but that creates other problems.)

basically i wish psychiatrists who actually give a shit weren’t almost impossible to find so i don’t have to settle for one who doesn’t treat me like an addict when prescribing adhd meds

#rant over #my posts #brain blogging #the addict thing is from experience btw. the psychiatrist i had before this one was a huge fucking bitch. #she said she wanted to urine test me before she’d refill my prescription #(despite being on adhd meds since age 10) #and then wouldn’t tell me where to go #and only looked at her emails a few times a week #AND THEN #she literally smiled when i started crying when she said she was taking away by benzos #and let me panic and say they’d improved my quality of life #just looked super fucking smug as if my reaction proved she was right and that i was an addict #before saying she was going to prescribe an alternative prn #and then looked CONFUSED when i immediately calmed down #because i didn’t WANT to take benzos because of their abuse potential #she was also overall super condescending #(the one before her also sucked but not as egregiously) #so basically i know i can do worse but fuck i wish i could do better #i guess the rant was not over lol